EPOV
"So, we really haven't spoken of anything before Carlisle and Esme," Maggie said casually.
"There was nothing before Carlisle and Esme," I shrugged, trying to nip this path of conversation in the bud.
"Is this how it's going to be?" she asked, as she lifted her brow at me. "You're a grown man, I thought we could have this conversation."
"I was nine when we went to live with them. It's all a haze."
"I bet you've told Bella. In fact, maybe I should give her a call," she added nonchalantly.
I puffed out a breath and tugged the bill of my hat over my eyes. "You know, the hat always goes down right before we speak of anything important."
I flipped her off only to hear her snort.
"Now, tell me what your biological parents were like," Mags added patiently.
"My father was a pianist for the Boston Ballet," I mumbled.
"That seems like fate that you met Bella then, huh?"
"I never told her one of my earliest memories is of me and Liz going to see The Nutcracker on opening night. That was before we lost him," I sighed.
"What happened?" Maggie pushed gently.
"Two thugs saw him walking alone. They mugged him and stabbed him. He bled out on the sidewalk," I told her.
I didn't remember him the way I wanted to. I remember he would sit me on his lap while he played at home, and he'd take me to the park to watch his buddies play football on Saturday mornings. The same park I play in now. Ed was tall, like I was, and wore glasses. He loved me. I knew that. I remember kisses and hugs. I was his boy.
It wasn't until I was in high school that I dug around about him. Esme helped me and that was when I found out I had a grandfather in Santa Cruz. He lived alone since my grandmother passed not too long after my father. Carlisle contacted him; we learned I was Edward Anthony Masen III. Apparently, after my father died, Liz disappeared with me. I knew she was pregnant with Jasper almost right after my father's death. She had to have been, with her popping a kid out almost every three years.
"Do you remember this time?"
"No, but when I was sixteen, Esme and I dug around. I had a grandfather that was looking for me," I explained. "He had trouble getting around, which is why I went to college at USC."
"You moved back here because of your niece," she stated, because she knew this much.
"My grandfather died the spring before that. I had nothing tying me to Cali after that. I was the only Masen left. My gramps was a retired jazz pianist. When he would play for me I wondered if that was how my father played. He had this blessed gift in his fingertips," I said wiggling my fingers.
"Did you ever find out why your mother kept you from your father's family?"
"I don't know much, only that she was an undergrad for law at Harvard when she met my dad. She came from money. Her father was in politics. They liked my father and loved me. She got pregnant with me before she started law school, it was a setback, but they were happy…" I let out a breath. "My grandfather told me everything when Ma and I first flew out to see him. I was loved. He had all of these pictures of me with them. I never saw any light in Liz's eyes, but those pictures captured a happy young wife and mother."
"Edward, what changed for her?"
"He told me after the funeral she was drinking heavily… he and my grandmother offered to take us back with them. She refused. I don't know what happened really since I had to have just turned three while she was pregnant with Jazz, and Isaac was living with us. Her father cut off all contact with her. They tried to get custody of me, but that's when she took off," I explained, remembering a little bit of the struggle my adoption was.
Jazz and Rose weren't wanted by anyone, but I had family trying to take me. They contacted the state saying I was their grandson. When they were told about my siblings, they said I was their only grandchild. That was another court visit where I told the judge I wanted to stay with my brother and sister. Esme and Carlisle gave me a home. One filled with love, and I was happy.
"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you would have gone to live with your grandparents?"
"I wouldn't have known I had siblings and they would never have met Esme and Carlisle."
"Do you believe in fate?"
I lifted up the bill of my hat and glared at her. She was up to something.
"What I'm saying is that we can't control everything, you can't look back at 'what ifs' or alternate realities," she said, steepling her fingers together. "But, what good will that do when everything is said and done at the end of the day? How did you meet Bell?"
Now, I was shooting death rays at her.
"I see what you're trying to do," I gritted.
"Humor me, how did you meet the love of your life?"
"She walked into my bar."
"Did she have a reason? Was it planned that she was just going to walk into your bar?"
"Her boyfriend told her he loved her, she freaked out and came to get wasted on her way home. I think she felt guilty because she didn't love him back," I mumbled.
"Really?" she asked, surprised.
"Really," I confirmed.
"Well, this just helps me drive my point home," she said, rather smugly.
I glared again, waving for her to continue.
"My point is you can't control everything. Sometimes things happen, good or bad, that get us on the path we need to be on," she said proudly.
"Thanks, wise one," I said dryly.
Her clock on her desk pinged and she was still all smiley and smug. "Well, Edward, our time is up. I know that you and Bella are planning to see Jasper in a few weeks, so I think that will be the focus of our next visit."
"Can Bella be there?" I asked uncertainly, knowing that I needed her there for this conversation.
"Of course."
"'Kay, see you next week," I mumbled, with a wave, trying to get out of there as soon as possible.
On the drive home, I tried to think about what we talked about. My father would have been Carlisle's age. They were both born in April, my dad was a few weeks older than he was. If what I was told was correct, he and Liz would have still been married and I would have probably had other siblings. A pang in my chest hurts for Rosie, I couldn't even think of a life without her. Jasper, a lot of his bad blood wouldn't have been in a brother from my father. All those years ago at Liz's funeral, I remember Benjamin saying his Jamie looked like me; he had it wrong. His Jaime looked like Jazz and Rosalie. They all looked like Liz except for me. I looked like my father.
I sighed, getting out of my car and headed up to our loft. Bella was on the couch reading a book. I saw the dark red on her toes and tugged on them. "What happened to your piggies?"
"Rose painted them," she wiggled the toes on her good foot.
I leaned down, giving her a quick peck. "I…I, uh, have something to show you," I told her, as she took my hat off.
"Good or B-bad?" she teased, cupping my cheek.
"Good, I think," I smiled, heading over to the bookcase and pulling out the photo album my grandfather gave me when I first moved out to Cali.
Bella scooted up and I slipped in behind her on the couch. She rested between my legs with her back to me. I opened the album in front of her and watched confusion cover her face.
"This isn't you?"
"That's my father," I murmured, looking at the picture of him and my mom at an art show.
"Your mom looks like Rose," she commented.
"Mmm."
"Your dad passed away when you were little, right?"
There were a shit-ton of photos of him and I. I was six months old when he took me to my first Sox game. I sat on his lap and we're both in Sox gear. Bella smiles, letting her fingers trace over the baby me in the picture.
"You were adorable," she giggled lightly.
A lot of the pictures of the toddler version of me looked like I had static cling. My hair was always a wild mess. I watched Bella stop at the last picture. I was sitting in the pit on my father's piano. A few of the dancers from The Nutcracker surrounded us.
"He was a p-pianist for the ballet?" she asked in awe.
"He was," I kissed her head. "Must be why I love to watch you dance so much."
"What happened to him, Edward?" she asked quietly.
I told her everything I'd told Maggie, but looked into her eyes, baring my soul to her. What it felt like growing up with Liz and her boyfriends. How, when I met my grandfather, this huge hole filled up like it completed me. I had family that wanted me, and always had, since the day I was born.
"Do you want to know what I think?" she asked me when I finished, her big brown eyes sparkling.
"You're going to tell me either way," I sighed, bringing her hand up for me to kiss.
"She's ri-right," Bella said slowly, giving me a gentle smile. "Think about Carlisle and Esme. They went through so much to have a baby, but Esme couldn't; then, you and your siblings came into their lives. Edward, she tells me all the t-time how much of a gift all of you are. Maybe your father helped," she added quietly.
"You think?" I whispered, turning it over in my mind.
Was he always with me? Did he have my back?
"I do," she murmured, giving me a kiss.
"Maggie wants to talk about going to see Jasper on my next visit, and I want you there."
"I will definitely be there," she grinned, hugging me to her.
"I'm scared," I told her honestly.
"About seeing him?"
"I still don't want you near him, what if he hurts you?"
"Edward," she cupped my face. "He didn't inten-intentionally hurt me in the first place. It just happened. I'm okay. We are moving forward," she reminded me.
"The house," I grinned.
We were about to close on it, and I knew Bella was still a little overwhelmed with the biggest purchase we'd made in our adult lives. I had maneuvered her around the spacious rooms as she gazed around in awe. I knew at that moment we were making the right decision.
"We're going to be homeowners," she giggled, shaking her head.
"All we need to work on is maybe filling it up," I teased, thinking about her roaming the halls of our new home with a full, round belly.
"Let's get me off the cr-crutches, okay? Then we'll talk about babies."
"I think I want you to have my last name before babies."
"I want that too."
"Mmm," I leaned in, kissing her head.
She was right, this was us moving forward. She had even talked about sending her resume into a few places, hoping to get a lead on something. Together, we could build the kind of life we always wanted. A happiness that only she and I could have and a love that couldn't be touched.
A/N: I apologize for this being so late. There were a few issues as to why this was late. I'm saying this now that hopefully this story will be back on the right track. Huge thanks to Dolphin62598 and my new beta mauigirl60.