A/N: Sorry for the delay again! Husband got a job, so we moved into our new place. I feel like we are finally getting settled again. And we found out last week that we are having a baby boy! So, now we will have one of each. Hopefully we can get more written of this story before I'm faced with caring for a two year old and a newborn! :)
Chapter 26: Facing consequences
Sarah and Draco spent the afternoon together in the Room of Requirement, neither of them eager to be apart from each other. They skipped their afternoon classes without a second thought. They skipped dinner in the Great Hall and instead ate together the food Wiggles brought them. When they could deny the clock no longer, Sarah insisted that she had to leave to get ready for her meeting. Draco waited while she rushed back to the Slytherin quarters for a quick shower, dried her hair, changed her clothes. She put an flowered embellished headband on and surveyed herself in the mirror. Her hand was still raw- Snape had really gone on and on forever with that blasted ruler and the force he put behind it was not like before. With a final stroke through the ends of her hair, she grabbed her wand from her bed and put it in her pocket. Well, if she was going to her death with Voldemort, she might as well look cute while doing it.
Draco was reading in the common room as he waited for her- the other kids at the evening meal. He looked up at her, studying her thoroughly.
He stood. "You look nice" he went over to kiss her cheek. "Why are you looking so nice for him?" he whispered.
"It makes me feel good" Sarah replied. "You know in case something happens"
Draco gripped the side of her face. "Don't talk like that. We don't know he will do that"
Sarah gently twined her hand through his other hand and tugged it. "Come on. Walk with me to Snape's. I don't want to be late"
Hand in hand, they walked up the stairs to the main floor and past the gargoyle, up the stairs to Snape's office, where the door flung open out of its own accord.
"You're early" Snape drawled from his perch on the end of his desk. He straightened and walked over to greet them. His eyes narrowed at the sight of Sarah's hand tucked firmly in Draco's.
"Well" Sarah responded flippantly, "I thought you might get that ruler out if I wasn't and I doubt my hand can take it tonight"
Sarah thought she saw a flash of pain before he schooled his features again, but she knew that must just be an illusion- wishful thinking that Snape would be actually remorseful.
"I might" Snape retorted. "Now, Draco, I'm sure you have quite a few things to say to me, but that will have to wait until later tonight."
"I'd rather stay here until she leaves, thank you" Draco replied, standing a bit taller.
Severus knew that his godson would be upset by what happened so he wasn't surprised to see Draco become protective of his niece. But what disturbed him was the accusatory look he was given him. Draco knew the game he was forced to play and his discipline never crossed the line before, surely, Draco knew that from experience with him as his godfather, but also in the past seven years as head of Slytherin. However, apparently, he had forgotten that. Snape steeled himself for a battle.
"I don't believe I gave you a choice, Mr. Malfoy" Snape's eyes met his, evenly, his tone allowing no argument. "Go wait in my quarters. We will talk later. Say your goodbyes to Sarah"
Sarah noticed the tension between Snape and Draco and while she wanted Draco to give Snape hell for what he did, there was something about Snape's demeanor that made her want to keep the peace for a while.
Sarah dropped his hand. "It's ok, Draco. I'll be ok"
Draco turned to face her, his back to Snape. "Are you sure? If you need me here, I don't mind whatever consequences..."
"I'm sure" Sarah assured him. "Please don't get in trouble for me"
Draco frowned. "I'll wait for you in Snape's quarters. I won't leave until you're back and safe. I promise"
Spontaneously, not caring what Snape thought, Sarah leaned over and gripped Draco's shoulders and kissed him lightly on the lips. "You're a good friend, Draco Malfoy. You have always been. Thank you"
Draco gave her a small smile. "Not as good as you are to me, I'm afraid. Later, Black" He kissed her forehead and then turned around to head to Snape's quarters.
Once he left, Sarah turned to Snape, and placed a hand on her hip. "Don't say anything about that" she demanded, fiercely.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't dare. We have more important matters to discuss. Come have a seat" He gestured towards a chair in front of his desk.
Sarah walked across the room and sat down in the chair, not looking back. "Well, what do you want to discuss with me?" Sarah shifted in her chair. "Is it how I shouldn't be snotty to the Dark Lord? Got it." She crossed her legs and continued. "How I should be contrite? Got it. How he probably won't kill me but will probably use dark magic on me? Got that too."
She folded her hands on her knees and asked him confidently, "What could we possibly have to discuss?"
Snape stared at her from his spot on the edge of his desk, trying to read her behavior. Finally, he said sternly, "Do not be reckless, especially with your future, Sarah"
"And if I am, Headmaster?" Sarah moved her hands to grip the edges of the chair. "Listen, I know why you did what you did earlier, but I have every right to be pissed at you for it"
Snape crossed his arms. "You don't think some discipline wasn't warranted?"
"Discipline, yes, I suppose you would have to for that...but never once, have you ever been abusive towards me. And this mark, here" Sarah dramatically waved her hand in the air, but too quickly for Snape to actually see the effects of his discipline, "well, I don't know why you didn't just let Carrow or the Dark Lord handle it, because I would have rather had dark magic used on me than my former father doing that to me"
Snape continued to watch her carefully. "You do remember I am a Death Eater, do you not? I could have used dark magic on you if not for the vow I made with your mother. I have certainly used it on others before. I thought I was sparing you- protecting you"
"I don't want your protection. I want nothing to do with you" Sarah retorted angrily. "I thought you were different. I'm so stupid"
Snape started at that revelation. He knew that there were moments even after Dumbledore's death that he had been gentler with her, but surely, she didn't doubt his allegiance even if part of him really wanted her to.
His voice was low when he answered her. "Sarah, you have known the truth about me for a while now. Why are you still insisting on making me redeemable when clearly I am not?"
Sarah jumped up. "Because the alternative is unbearable for me! Don't you get that? I would rather think there is a possibility of this being wrong than what you keep telling me is true. Erasing 6 years of my life hasn't been easy. And there are times when you remind me of how it was before you killed Dumbledore. So, yeah, I would rather you have let Carrow or the Dark Lord have reign with me because I can make them completely evil in my mind. I can't do that for you. I don't want to"
Snape stood very still for a few minutes as Sarah paced around the chair. Finally he responded quietly, "I don't know what you want me to say"
"Do you care what I want?" Sarah retorted through tears. "I don't think so. Let's just get on with it"
Snape knew he had to drop it for both of their sakes.
"Sit back down then" He went over to his desk and pulled out a box. He opened it, pulled out an object and snapped it shut. "Your mother's ring. I want you to wear it. It has been charmed as a portkey, which the Dark Lord knows about that and its password, but it has also been charmed to take you back to Snape Manor. If you feel like he is going to kill you, don't hesitate. The password is Grace. Use it and we will arrange for you to be hidden for the duration of the war"
He walked over and sat beside her. "Let me see your hand" Sarah hesitated only briefly, before holding out her hand. Sarah could have sworn he flinched slightly, but she knew that wasn't possible.
Snape put the ring on her finger. "Sarah" his voice was pained and at the tone, Sarah's heart started to thaw again, before she quickly hardened it. "I am sorry for this. I may be a death eater and truly horrid all around, but I would never want to hurt you..."
"I get it" Sarah nodded. "You don't want to hurt me physically, but emotionally that's another story"
Snape wanted to offer his own retort to that, but he stopped himself. "Password is pureblood to get you to where the Dark Lord is. I'll see you when you get home. Be careful. I don't think you will need to use the ring tonight, but you never know when it will come in handy"
"Thank you" Sarah touched the ring, mumbled and she was off.
Sarah activated the portkey, which took her to Malfoy Manor's library. The queasy feeling in her stomach from the portkey and facing Voldemort was almost overwhelming. She planted her legs and tried to quell the feeling as the room spun around her.
"The room settled yet?"
Sarah jumped as her eyes adjusted to the dim light. And then she saw him, sitting on the couch and she forced herself to practice her occlumency, though her heart was still racing. What would he do to her? Looking around the room, she noticed that they were alone.
"I think so" She wrinkled her nose. "Traveling by portkey is not my favorite"
"Indeed" Voldemort responded. "But let us cease with the pleasantries and get straight to business. Come closer, child" he instructed. "And stand before me"
Sarah moved closer, even though every bone in her body was tensing to flee.
"You look frightened, Sarah" Voldemort studied her expression carefully. "Are you frightened of me?"
"I'm not foolish. I know you have all the power right now to do what you wish with me" she retorted. "And that doesn't make me weak, if that is what you are thinking"
"It is not" he replied, his hand on his chin, a satisfied look taking over his expression. "It just means you are more amendable to what I am trying to teach you than your actions would otherwise indicate. And that pleases me greatly"
She felt a pang of guilt as Voldemort easily read her emotions and that in fact, she would do almost anything to just make the whole situation go away. He was right. The fight was out of her these days. It was a long time coming, but Snape's harshness earlier today took her over the edge. She redoubled her efforts to shield her thoughts and emotions.
Forcing a bored tone, she asked, "Can we just get the curses over with? If that is where this is going, then we should do as you say and cease with the pleasantries"
"Manners, Sarah" Voldemort admonished, with a shake of his head. "Come and show me your hand so I can see if it was severe enough punishment for your transgressions"
She stepped forward and held out her hand. She tried not to flinch away as Voldemort took it in his, his long fingers grasping it.
"Oh, Severus was diligent in his discipline" He said as he studied her hand. "So red these marks. One ruler wielded this?"
"It was long and hard. And I wouldn't be surprised if he used magic to make it so" Sarah replied. "My uncle is always thorough in his discipline, sir"
"I see that" He paused rubbing her hand gently. "But still, your transgression was so severe. I told you, Sarah, to learn your studies without rebellion and yet, here you are. Are you just prone to disobedience?"
"I am a Gryffindor. Following orders doesn't come naturally for me, especially when they come from dark forces" Sarah replied, almost haughtily and Voldemort chuckled as he continued to touch her hand, "I remember that. We have to make up for that, child"
His voice turned low, changing from an almost lightness to considerably more serious. "Now tell me why I shouldn't grant the wish of several of my Death Eaters and turn you over to them. Your pedigree makes you a prime prize for breeding"
Sarah swallowed the bile that rose to her throat at the thought and tried her hardest not to flinch, but Voldemort could see even with her occlumency shields up that he had hit a nerve.
"That bothers you does it?" He commented. "So innocent- never been touched in that way, have you?"
Sarah didn't answer, and he continued, "I desire to give you to someone who will be gentle with you- a first time can be so rough on a woman, especially if their partner doesn't care to make it not so. I want you to have someone who does care. I don't have to tell you that not many of my Death Eaters would meet that qualification. They would take great pleasure in the roughness of the act- of taming you into submission with sex. I don't condone it, but I understand certain men have those impulses at time. I prefer to be gentler with my lovers, personally. If you weren't so much younger than me, I could teach you a few things in this area. But you are still so much of a child. You need someone your own age"
Sarah bit her lip, but stared ahead and didn't respond. Voldemort continued, "It would be different with one who is in love with you- Draco Malfoy, perhaps?"
"What makes you think Draco is in love with me?" Sarah finally answered as she shrugged her shoulders.
"His face when I was disciplining you last time. He tried to hide his emotions from me, but it killed him. And that roughness isn't in his nature- his mother's influence, I suppose. But as much as I wish it, if you continue to push me, I will have no choice, but to turn you over to someone else that can tame you better. Perhaps his father if I order it? Or Nott? Or Carrow? Or maybe even Wormtail could try his hand with you? Even your inane sense of bravery and justice and what is right and wrong in the world couldn't save you from that fate if I choose it, Sarah"
"Please don't" Sarah finally whispered to him and Voldemort smiled at her.
"I don't wish it, child. Truly, I don't" He dropped her hand and smoothed down her hair. "As I said before, you are still such a child, but some of my Death eaters have taken muggles younger than you. I don't have to tell you that. You are a smart girl. You just need to learn to be a bit more submissive on your own. No more leading rebellions. I give you points for the obvious leadership skills you possess- skills that I could use for our purposes. But don't side against me, Sarah. You will regret it. I will make sure you do"
"Can't you just kill me, already?" Sarah asked, tears springing to her eyes. "I'm not worth all your trouble. I promise, I'm not"
"A hint of cowardliness from our Gyrffindor lion?" he laughed at her. "come now, Sarah"
"The hat almost put me in Slytherin. Maybe that's truly where I belong" Sarah offered, haughtily.
"I believe it, but not because you are a coward. As for killing you, I would consider your offer, but you see, I need you very much alive. I have plans for you, my dear" Voldemort shook his head at her.
"Plans for me?" Sarah tried her best to keep her voice even. "What could you possibly want from me?"
Voldemort laughed again. "That's simple. I want to see the look of anguish when Potter learns that his best friend- the girl he has long regarded has a sister-has been taken from him, turned against him. I want him to see my mark burning on your flesh- to see my mentorship of you and what it produces. He would be able to accept your death more than you becoming one of us. It will shatter him and then I will win"
"So my life is spared so you can stick it to Harry?" Sarah asked, incredulously. "What makes you think he would care so much?"
"Oh he will" Voldemort responded. "I saw that in his memories at the Ministry. He showed me all those cozy times with you- all the love he had for you. Yes, he will care greatly. The betrayal will be intense. He will lose his focus. That is why you live" He paused, "Well, that and I do want you to bear children that would be raised in our way. And I will relish the day that you submit to me for real- to take all your sweetness and innocence that I find quite alluring and corrupt it for my purposes. But in the meantime, we do have to deal with your punishment"
"Are you going to curse me?"
"No, actually, I am not" Voldemort replied. "While I won't hesitate to do so in the future, I believe that you will endure anything for yourself. You need to see how your action affects others"
"Others?" Sarah whispered.
"Yes, others" Voldemort asserted. "You will take me arm and we will apparate. You will watch while myself and Bellatrix carry out a mission. And you will live with the fact that this mission was a direct consequence of your actions. Your rebellion forced me to act in this way when I might have not been inclined to do so. Whatever happens, is blood on your hands, Sarah"
"What will you do?" Sarah squealed, horrified as he stood and offered his arm to her.
"You shall see" Voldemort whispered. "Come now. Bellatrix is waiting and she can get awfully impatient"
Sarah hesitated for another second, but at Voldemort's glare she took his arm quickly and they apparated away.
Severus went into his private quarters, preparing himself for a battle with his godson. After he sent Sarah away, he had taken several minutes alone to compose himself, not quite wanting to face Draco's censure when he felt it so deeply himself. And to think of what the Dark Lord could be doing to his little girl now- well, that was unbearable.
He found Draco on the couch, his head in his hands. Severus could tell he was crying, but he knew that even with his godson whom he was close to, he had to tread carefully with his teenage male ego. Still, it spoke volumes for Draco's feeling for Sarah.
"Ahem" Severus cleared his throat and Draco raised his head, his eyes red.
"I was just um..." Draco wiped his eyes furiously and Snape held up his hand. "Don't say anything about it. I understand what you are going through. I love her too. It's only from years of training myself to hide and push aside my emotions that enables me to appear so calm"
"So you...?"
"I'm in pieces right now" Severus assured him as he sat next to him on the couch, his hand causally reaching over to grip his shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "Complete and utterly beside myself. After what I did, having to send her away to him. It's incomprehensible for me"
"She understands why you did what you did, but" Draco turned to him. "She thinks it is validation that you never left her in the first place. I thought you should know"
"I know" Severus replied, anguish evident on his face.
"You do know she wants the Dark Lord to just kill her?" Draco shook his head. "She's done with it"
Severus inhaled sharply, letting his breath out slowly. "She said that?"
"More or less" Draco responded. "You have to do something. I know you feel like you have this role you have to play and it would be too dangerous for her to know, but Uncle Sev, at this point, it's dangerous for her not to know. If she gives up, then I don't know what would happen. If Potter really needs her to win and she stops fighting the Dark Lord, then it's done. Potter depends on her even more than Weasley and Granger and we both know that he is looking for her to join them on her birthday. If she dies or just submits to the Dark Lord and Potter finds out, I think it might be over"
"I didn't" Snape stared at his hands, disturbed, "I didn't realize it had come that far. I should have suspected, but it hurt too much to think that my actions would cause her to feel that way. She really said that she wanted him to kill her?"
Draco nodded. "So what will you do?"
Severus waited a few moments before responding quietly, "I honestly don't know, Draco"
When the world settled again, she adjusted her eyes to where they were. "Hello, Sarah, darling"
Sarah stiffened as Bellatrix whispered in her ear. She had to use every ounce of self control not to reveal her emotions and not to turn and slap her into the next planet.
"Oh, no greeting for me?" she continued.
"I don't make habits of conversing with my father's murderer" she hissed back.
"You are still harping on that?" Bella laughed. "Trust me. Your father wasn't that great"
Her temper reached new heights as Sarah reached in her pocket for her wand, but Voldemort command stilled her hand, almost instantly.
"That's enough, Sarah" The look he gave her was so severe that she dared not disobey and Voldemort pushed her in front of him.
She bit her lip and clenched her hands, but managed not to retaliate.
"Good girl" Voldemort praised as he reached to grab her arms and pull them behind her, restraining her. "Now tell me, child. What do you see?"
Sarah studied the building before her and then looked around to their surroundings. They were in a rundown portion of a town. There were few people milling about, but they didn't seem to notice them. Sarah realized that they were under a concealment charm. She continued to look at the three story building in front of them, straining her eyes to read the plaque on the door.
"It's an orphanage" she whispered, realization turning to horror at the prospect of Voldemort and Bellatrix unleashing on these children. She managed to wiggle out of his grasp to face him. "What are you going to do?"
"Oh yes" Bella slapped her hands together. "All those wee little children" Her laughter was menacing.
"You must learn Sarah, the art of submission" Voldemort's voice was low. "It is my job to teach you that. You must realize that I will stop at nothing to get what I want. Muggles are worthless. A few less children won't be any hardship"
"They are children" Sarah argued, her heart feeling like it was being torn apart with dread. "They are innocent. They don't deserve this"
"I decide who deserves what. I'm in charge. I will be in control. The sooner you realize that and submit to my wishes for you, the better off you will be"
"I can't be someone I'm not" Sarah retorted and Voldemort glared at her, "Neither can I. Go ahead Bella"
Bella waved her arm and soon the building was in flames. Sarah began to run towards the building, but Voldemort grabbed her arms and held her still. "You will watch what happens from here"
Sarah struggled but Voldemort continued to restrain her. "Don't fight me or I will make you regret it. Stay still now"
Fighting her emotions, Sarah managed to still herself in obedience. Soon children were filing out and the two adults there were counting the children, who were coughing, several with burns on their faces and arms.
"The babies" Another woman ran out of the building, two babies in her arms. "I could only get these two. The fire is spreading. It's so powerful. I have never seen anything like it. We are lucky we got out, but I couldn't reach Thomas. He's stuck on the third floor. He was too far and there were already flames in the way."
"We have to go back" The women were frantic. "We have to get him. He's only 6 months old! The other children are here. We got to go get him. Now!"
"A baby" Voldemort whispered in her ear, causing chills to go up her spine. "A muggle child is expendable in this war. Don't you know?"
"He could be a wizard" Sarah's voice was harsh. "Have you thought of that?"
"Muggle born wizard?" Bellatrix laughed. "Just as worthless as muggles"
"This is the cost of your disobedience. The life of a 6 month boy- pretty generous, I would say, right Bella?" Volemort said.
"Exceedingly so, my Lord" Bella responded, in reverence.
Sarah looked at the window on the third story in panic. Her instincts taking over, she felt a rush of adrenaline as she knew what she had to do. Visualizing it in her mind, she apparated up to the third floor. She was so surprised that she was able to do it with such ease and so quickly that Voldemort couldn't intervene.
The woman was right- the flames had encroached into the middle of the room. And it was unbearably hot, the smoke making her breath short instantly.
She screamed as she could feel the flames burn her as she quickly moved to the other side. Facing the fire, she grabbed her wand and attempted to put it out, but the magic Bella used must have been different- dark magic was hard to stop with ordinary charms. Thinking fast and aware of the rising temperatures, she coughed through the smoke as she heard the screams of the baby and it propelled her to action.
She found a sheet. Casting a quick charm she drenched it with water. She saw the baby in its crib against the wall. She felt the flames to her back, closing her in.
"Hi little guy" She picked him up and snuggled him against her. Coughs wracked her body, but she tried to reassure him. "It's going to be ok now. I promise you. I'm going to get both of us out of here" She wrapped him with the wet sheet and she could almost feel the flames upon her arms, burning them. Focusing, she tried to apparate back to the street, but to her horror, nothing happened.
"Bella must have put up anti apparition charms. The bitch" Sarah whispered to the baby, rocking him as she moved closer to the window. Her wand tightly in her hand, she cast a cushioning charm around the baby, protecting him from what was to come. Her wand back in her pocket, she focused her magical core, harnessing her wandless magic and in a sprint blast through the window, decreasing the impact of their fall with her magic, just as Dumbledore did for Harry third year with the Demeantors caused him to fall from his broom in the Quidditch match.
Still she landed hard, glass protruding into her burnt arms. Pain seared through her body.
"Sarah, Sarah" Voldemort knelt down next to her and took the child from her arms. "So incredibly foolish of you, child" He sent the baby flying towards one of the woman. "Bella, go obliviate everyone while I deal with her"
Bella huffed, but obeyed orders.
The pain was intense from the burns and the glass. She moaned as Voldemort turned her over to examine her wounds. She found it incredibly hard to breathe from the smoke inhalation and she tried helplessly to control her coughs.
"Severus should be able to heal you. It isn't as severe as it could have been- you are fortunate to be alive. When will you learn not to play the hero?" He chided. "I suppose it is my job to continue to try to teach you" He waved his wand over her and while she felt different, she didn't understand what he just did. He waved his wand again and she found it easier to breathe, though her chest still felt heavy.
"I stabilized the glass that is in her arms and legs. It will only be allowed to move a bit deeper, but not enough to do major damage. Enough to feel the pain of it moving, but not enough to hurt you more. I also cleared your lungs some so while you feel the effects of the smoke, you will be able to breathe easier for what is to come next"
Sarah wanted to beg him not to do whatever he was about to do, but her pride and knowing that it would have little effect on his behavior, stopped her.
He bent down to stroke hair. "I didn't want to have to curse you tonight, but it seems like you do need more of a lesson. A round of discipline seems in order for playing hero and disobeying my orders to stay still. But I bet after we are done, there will be no more disobedience. You have seen the results. These poor children. Their only home is gone. Did you know that there is a shortage of orphanages? They will end up on the street or in some horrible type of slavery that muggles put children in when they get mixed up in the wrong crowd. All because you decided that you were too good to learn your studies"
Sarah groaned as she braced herself for what was to come next. As Voldemort wielded his power, the pain was excruciating. He was holding nothing back and the feeling of the glass biting her deeper and her burned, exposed flesh hitting against the pavement was enough to wish that he had just cast the killing curse and had been done with it. She heard herself scream- ear piercing screams, but she knew that besides Voldemort and Bellatrix, no one could hear her.
It stopped after a few minutes, but that was long enough to leave her in pieces. Voldemort leaned down. "More?"
Sarah sobbed through the pain, but managed to pull herself together. She had to fight to take a breath and then another.
At her gasps, he leaned down and touched her chest with his palm. "Breathe through it. Your body and mind are adjusting to not only the physical pain of your wounds, but to the dark magic."
Sarah took another breath, closing her eyes, trying to close her mind off from the pain she was in and the realization of what was happening.
"Enough?" Voldemort asked her, his hand still on her chest.
"Yes, please no more. I understand. I'll try better. I will"
"That's the first step in you submitting to me. No more of this leading the rebellion or you will have more of this. Innocent lives will be lost because of you. But if you just do as I say and become who I want you to be, your life will be easy. I will shield you from all of this. Understood?"
"Yes" Sarah replied. And she did. In that moment, in her mind- her fight was over. Voldemort had won.
"Good girl. You have so much potential" Voldemort reached for her hand, which was twisting the hem of his robe. He gently untangled it. " I'm going to send you home now. Good reports from now on, Sarah"
He touched her ring. "Pureblood" and Sarah's world spun again. She heard Draco gasp in horror and Snape curse and summon his wand. She was home.
Up next: When Sarah loses her way, will Severus and Draco be able to guide her again without revealing his true allegiance? Or will she finally just submit to Voldemort's wishes and not fight with Harry? What do you all think?
Please review. :)