Aria's four-inch yellow pumps closely followed the heels of the girl in front of her as she proceeded down the aisle in a royal blue cap and gown. Her eyes scanned the audience of excited parents, siblings, grandparents. Ella waved in Aria's direction with a bright smile—a smile that soon disappeared when Aria continued to scan the audience. Her mother's hand eventually retreated back to her side. Her eyebrows lowered, likely puzzled as to why her daughter was still searching when she thought she had already attracted Aria's attention.
The truth was, Aria wasn't looking for her family. She knew they'd be there. But she wasn't so sure about him.
It had been 56 days.
As the graduates approached the front of the auditorium, Aria frowned when she realized he was nowhere to be found. Not that she had dissected the crowd, but it was hard to miss the guy she could spot in a crowded mall in a matter of seconds. She turned into a row, and after a few minutes of the principal's welcome, everyone took their seats.
"Aria," Hanna whispered in a hushed tone, attempting to get her attention. With their last names so close together, her friend was sitting one row in front of her. Hanna's eyes widened and Aria looked at her, wondering what was so urgent at this minute.
"Sit down!"
She immediately sat down before she could process the embarrassment creeping onto her red cheeks. Hanna stifled a giggle and turned to focus on the speaker while Aria tried to do the same. Hopefully her short legs prevented the entire audience from witnessing her moment. Especially him—if he even bothered showing up, which at this point, Aria was pretty damn sure he hadn't.
The principal continued with his dull speech, forcing enthusiasm on the student body just like he had every year. He wouldn't remember the faces in a few years to come, but Aria would always remember the face of the valedictorian who stepped up to the podium. It was a miracle in itself that the four of them graduated; no one knew how Spencer Hastings managed to climb to the top of the class while fighting evil. She was a nothing less than a super hero.
Her fingers adjusted the mic, and she leaned down to speak to the class.
"I wanted a crystal ball for my 18th birthday, but all I got was a stupid magic 8-ball. I asked myself: how am I supposed to plan my future if I don't know what my future is?
"I'll often hear peers complain that we have to decide—at the age of 18—the path we want to follow for the rest of our lives. Have a hamster? Maybe you'll want to be a veterinarian. Congratulations! You got an A on your history paper. I guess that means you should be a historian. And if in 10 years you hate it? You're screwed.
"Recently, I learned an important lesson. It's not true.
"For all of us, high school will eventually become a distant memory. Things we once loved will soon seem unimportant. Trivial. Childish.
"There will be other painful, terrible moments that we'd like to forget—but we just can't."
And Aria just couldn't.
She smiled a sad smile, and for a split second, she locked eyes with the speaker and her best friend. For the general population of high school seniors, graduation represented the end of a chapter and release into adulthood. It represented freedom from calculus books and SAT preparation and college decisions, awkward phases, and catty friendships. For Aria's friends, graduation didn't solely release them from the grasp of strict teachers, it also enabled them to escape from the hell that was Rosewood and the ever-growing stacks of dead bodies.
But for Aria, graduation closed the chapter of all of that plus two more: Ezra Fitz and their miscarried baby.
She just couldn't.
"As eighteen-year-olds, we're unlucky. None of us know what will be important to us in five years. We, unfortunately, do not have the ability to plan right now for the future versions of our selves. So when I asked the magic 8-ball what I wanted to do for the rest of my life? It told me to 'Ask again later.'
"And the 8-ball was right. We all have to ask ourselves later. The best way to plan for your future is to know, in the back of your mind, that you can always adapt to what you love.
"If you love something now, that's all that matters, and you owe it to yourself to love that something with all you have. Whether it's horseback riding, playing the piano, a friend...a boyfriend."
The term boyfriend dropped a weight onto Aria's stomach and she knew Spencer had done it purposely, especially when her best friend took that moment to look directly at her.
"Everything that is important to you now will be stored in your heart forever. You'll recall fond memories that will make you smile or you'll learn valuable lessons from stupid mistakes.
"If you're lucky, in ten years, it will still be a big part of your life. But if it isn't? It'll still be yours. It'll still belong to the 18-year-old version of yourself. We can't plan for our future selves, but we can look back at past selves.
"As we all go off on our own—college, our careers, whatever—that's the best advice I can give you. Love what you love now and you'll always be happy."
He made her happy. But he also made her sad. Ezra didn't only bring happiness into her life, he made her feel every emotion 100 times more deeply.
Perhaps it was because she loved him 100 times more deeply.
She'd have to ask herself later.
The student body enthusiastically cheered as Spencer backed away from the podium and took a seat on stage. Aria and Hanna glimpsed at each other, a silent look acknowledging the awesomeness of their best friend.
It hadn't dawned on Aria until recently that if things had gone a little differently, she'd be hiding an emerging baby bump under the atrocious gown. The image continuously played in her mind the preceding weeks, forcing her to reevaluate where she stood. The concept of placing him in the trash bin next to A's tormenting and her feather accessory phase suddenly seemed terrifying. And so without putting another thought into the matter, she had mailed her fifth invitation to Ezra Fitz at apartment 3B. When she heard the plop of the envelope as it hit the bottom of the mailbox, she quickly regretted the impulsiveness of her action—but only for a few seconds. Knowing there was no going back, the large blue mailbox seemed like a daunting black hole. That is, if she didn't want to pull a Spencer Hastings and camp outside of Ezra's mailbox in order to hijack the mailman.
After only a few short seconds, she had felt a sense of relief that the invitation was on its way to her ex-boyfriend. She needed another chance at closure, or perhaps, another chance at repairing their relationship like Spencer had repaired the necklace. Aria hadn't planned anything past throwing the invitation in the mailbox because frankly...
...she didn't know what the fuck she was doing.
She only knew she had to do something before the door slammed in her face, high school was over, and Ezra Fitz disappeared from her life for good.
The graduates marched out of the auditorium and Aria finally gave the cheesy traditional smile-and-wave to her family, which she had neglected to do on the way in. Now that the ceremony was complete, her only plans for the day included taking an excessive amount of photos with her friends and returning home to prepare for her party that would take place the following afternoon.
But the barely noticeable touch of someone's fingertips on her shoulder was completely unexpected. Only steps before she'd reach the back of the auditorium, she turned to find him standing next to her, a friendly but hesitant smile on his lips. She returned the same smile but continued walking, not wanting to hold up the line of graduates. What did he think of the invitation? Aria was now self-conscious of her action. She shouldn't have made her ex-boyfriend—who was a responsible father—feel obligated to attend her graduation ceremony.
The lobby of the auditorium was swarmed with graduates and their families and ex-boyfriends. Hanna and Aria stopped in a corner, their arms linked so they wouldn't lose each other. Hanna spotted Emily's hand waving from across the room and the two girls weaved through the crowd to meet up with their friends. They met in a giant, unplanned group hug like they were straight out of a scene from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Sadly, their troubles were far greater than a stupid pair of pants.
The four girls pulled away from each other, standing in a group waiting for their families to arrive and attack them like paparazzi.
"So, we actually made it through high school," Emily stated in disbelief. "With these past three years, I was beginning to think it wouldn't be possible."
"And all in one piece," Spencer added.
"The only part of us we lost during high school was our v-cards."
"Shut up, Hanna."
Aria's cheeks hurt from smiling for the past ten minutes while Ella, Ashley Marin, and Pam Fields took countless photos. Spencer's parents couldn't make it due to important work commitments and everyone was secretly grateful for the fact.
"Is that it?" Hanna asked, one arm around Emily and the other around Aria. Spencer was on the other side of Aria.
Ashley noticed the irritated faces of the girls and put her camera down, nodding. "I suppose so," she sighed, then smiled. "Go have fun."
The girls dispersed after promising to see each other the next day at Aria's party. Ella approached Aria, then put an arm around her daughter and gave a light squeeze.
"Ready to go?"
Aria didn't answer, though, because her mind was already distracted. Her eyes searched the lobby like she searched the auditorium a couple hours before.
"Aria?" Ella repeated, eyeing her daughter suspiciously.
Her mind was somewhere else even as she faced her mother, not absorbing a single word. It wouldn't be right to invite him only to give him a two-second smile. The least she could do was give him a thank you. "Hmm?"
"Who are you looking for, exactly?" Ella asked in a way which suggested she already knew the answer.
"No one."
Ella smirked. "Is this the same 'no one' who texted you a few weeks ago?"
A wave of guilt washed over Aria's face as she nodded, biting her bottom lip. "Yeah. Look, Mom—"
"I knew you didn't lose your grandmother's invitation," Ella teased, resting a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "I saw him standing by the vending machines talking to Mrs. Welch and I have a feeling he didn't stay for her."
Aria launched herself into her mother's arms, knocking her graduation cap off in the process. "Thank you, Mom." She grabbed her cap from the floor and hastily made her way through the crowd in the direction of the vending machines. With her petite stature, it was difficult to see where she was headed but she continued moving nonetheless. Eventually, she reached a clearing in the dense forest of people and saw him leaning against the wall, anxiously scrolling through his phone. He wore a pair of slate gray suit pants and a white dress shirt with the unmistakable red tie, his sleeves rolled up to his shoulders. Mrs. Welch was nowhere to be seen in vicinity of the vending machines. His eyes moved from his phone and caught hers in an instant, as if he memorized her perfume or the way she walked. He stood up straight and cleared his throat and she tucked her hair behind her ear. When they were within a few feet of each other, they mirrored bright smiles of old friends and former lovers.
"I guess you got my invitation." Aria was the first speak, albeit her voice was shaky with nerves. "Ezra, I'm sorry if you felt obligated to show up. I shouldn't have sent it to you."
Ezra shook his head, nervously licking his lips. "I had planned on coming, anyway. The perks of being a former teacher. You can sneak into any of these exciting school functions." He was nervous, too, but he didn't want her to be.
Aria anxiously laughed. "Thank you," she said, then bit her lip in hesitation. A few moments of silence passed between them, neither of them sure if the conversation were over although they didn't want it to be.
"Do you want to come to my graduation party tomorrow?" she filled the silence with a question that escaped from her mouth only milliseconds after it popped into her head. Ezra stared at her with a look she mistakenly read as confusion, and she quickly altered her question with a string of words barely formed into a sentence. "I mean, it's just at my house, with family and friends, a barbecue and probably a really lame cake with my face on it, but you really don't have to come or anything, we'll probably have loads of food left and you could just stop by for a minute or not go at all—"
"Stop, Aria," Ezra interrupted, pained at the anxiety in her voice. He grabbed her clammy hand and squeezed it, reminding her of a day 56 days before. "I'd love to eat a piece of cake with your face on it."
She grinned, a realization setting in that he was still the same Ezra, and then she got real. "I want you to be there."
Ezra nodded and wrapped his arms around her body in a friendly hug, resting his chin on the top of her head for only a brief moment. "Then I'll definitely be there."
The backyard of the Montgomery house was organized like a high school cafeteria, different groups gathered together in small exclusive swarms. Jess and Julian—Aria's younger cousins—ran across the yard, playing some type of game they made up. Spencer, Hanna, Emily and their significant others dwelled by the edge of the house in white plastic lawn chairs. Ezra remained by the dessert table, unsure where he fit in like the nerd he was in high school. He sipped diet soda from a blue plastic cup, his eyes searching the chaos around him.
He wanted to cling by Aria's side, but with their current situation, he knew that wouldn't be wise. At this time, she was making the rounds and mingling with family members. He remembered Aunt Florence and Uncle Jeff from Christmastime, and of course he'd never forget Nana who nearly threw Ezra out of the house by the power of her death glare. Aria laughed at something Florence said, then turned to look at Ezra across the lawn. She gave him a sympathetic smile with the knowledge that he was awfully uncomfortable. He got the hint when she tilted her head in the direction of her friends.
Taking a deep breath, he managed to move his feet and bring himself closer to the group laughing by the edge of the house. Hanna called his name—Mr. Fitz, to be exact—and told him to take a seat, so he did. He brought the plastic cup to his lips again in a nervous habit, trying to conceal the awkwardness of the situation. He was waiting for the cliche sound of crickets as everyone looked at him in silence, but a moment later, they continued their conversation and left Ezra to himself.
Ezra continued to sip from his cup as he stared at his ex-girlfriend who was still engrossed in a conversation with family members. She was the only person who had the ability to make him feel comfortable...but she couldn't.
"So, how's single life treating you?" Hanna brought him out of his trance with a typical inappropriate question, and Spencer and Emily shot her their signature glare.
Ezra moved his cup from his lips and raised his eyebrows, as if to say excuse me? Instead, he simply answered, "A lot less vegan takeout."
"Is that it?' she pried.
He wasn't sure what type of answer Hanna was looking for, perhaps some dramatic novel-length essay equivalent to the gag-inducing Twilight. "A lot less Aria, too," he confessed.
Hanna gave him an apologetic smile, but was still unsatisfied. She opened her mouth to ask another question when Spencer threw her hand in front of her.
"Quit it, Hanna," Spencer scolded. "Fitz isn't a gossip magazine."
Ezra nodded, silently thanking Spencer for shutting her up. Paige, Caleb and Toby were having their own conversation at this point. The remaining four sat in silence, waiting for the next person to talk. It was Ezra.
"Is she okay with...?" he trailed off, hoping someone would catch on. He wasn't sure how she was dealing with their loss, but he was hoping far better now that he was out of the equation. It was a fact that was hard to swallow.
Spencer nodded. She was the one to catch Aria whenever she had her rare moments, which were becoming few and far between. "She doesn't talk really about it, but I can tell."
Ezra nodded, temporarily relieved and hoping it were true. His lips returned to the edge of his plastic cup when Aria joined the group.
"Hey guys," she announced, sitting in the chair next to Ezra. She looked at him, then asked, "Did you get anything to eat? We got those cookies from our favorite bakery."
"Yeah, I actually had a few earlier."
"Is that why we had to refill the plate?" Aria teased, holding back a giggle. It was a bit like old times.
"Really?" Ezra asked incredulously. "You used to lick the crumbs from the plate and then blame it on a 7-year-old."
"Whatever you say," Aria said, letting him win. She smiled flirtatiously into her own plastic cup, her eyes not leaving Ezra.
He shook his head, but a bright smile remained on his face. "Do you mind if I use the bathroom?" After drinking every time there was an awkward silence, his bladder was about to explode.
"You know where it is."
When they saw him go inside, Aria's friends stared at her with matching mischievous grins.
Somewhat confused, Aria lowered her eyebrows. "Thanks for keeping Ezra company, guys," she said, trying to distract them from whatever thoughts were in their heads. "I felt bad because he was all by himself."
The girls looked at each other with the same smile, as if they were in on their own little secret.
"What?"
"Why is he here?" Emily wondered.
Aria shrugged, bringing her cups to her lips. "I invited him," she answered, then added as an afterthought, "as a friend." She couldn't look at them, hoping they'd buy into her nonchalant attitude.
"Why were you flirting with him?"
"I was telling him where the bathroom is," Aria replied defensively. "Since when does that count as flirting?"
"Two weeks," Emily said.
"Really?" Spencer looked at Emily with a raised eyebrow. "I wouldn't even say a week."
"What are you talking about?"
"We're betting how long you'll play this little game until you start being Mrs. Fitz again," Spencer explained, leaning back in her chair.
Aria rolled her eyes in annoyance. Her friends weren't making this any easier. "Just let it go, okay?" Aria pleaded, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm not jumping back into the mini van. I'm ready to go to Boston and leave behind that chapter of my life. This is just a way for me to find closure."
"Well, if I could quote the Spencer Hastings in her graduation speech," she lowered her voice to a whisper, looking around to make sure no one was looking, "you should have have hot passionate sex right now with Ezra."
"I didn't say that, Han—"
"Speaking of Boston," Hanna interrupted, paying no heed to Spencer's correction. "I see you got your necklace fixed. Now I don't have to feel so guilty all the time."
Aria grabbed her necklace, twisting it in her fingers. She felt naked the days she spent without it. "Yeah, Spencer did it for me," she said, looking at Spencer. "You know, I never thanked you for that."
"You don't have to," Spencer mumbled, focused more on her manicured nails rather than her best friend.
"Of course I do. You knew how much it meant to me, Spence," Aria insisted, at which Spencer neither replied nor looked at her.
"Why won't Spencer look at me?" She turned to Emily, a genuine look of confusion spreading over her face. Their strange behavior was beginning to scare Aria. "Emily?" She didn't answer, again receiving silence from two of her friends. As a last resort, she whipped her head in the direction of Hanna, staring her down. She asked again, this time her voice was confident and stern. "Hanna, why won't Spencer or Emily look at me?"
Hanna bit her bottom lip and followed suit, looking instead at the 3-inch heels on her feet. Why she wore them to a barbecue, Aria didn't know, and at this point she didn't care.
"Aria, I didn't fix your necklace," Spencer finally admitted, looking her in the eyes. She took a deep breath, then added...
"Ezra did."
Aria's eyes widened at Spencer's confession. All these weeks, Aria had assumed Spencer was the one to do the good deed. At that moment, Ezra returned from his bathroom trip and sat beside Aria. She immediately twisted in her chair to look at him. He hadn't heard Spencer's confession and was surprised to see Aria's large hazel eyes filled with such twinkling adoration. Eyes he hadn't seen in so long.
"Three days," Hanna bet. "You better start emptying your piggy banks."
Two days later, Aria finally tackled the large stack of graduation gifts and cards from her gracious friends and family. With the gifts spread out on the table in front of her, she jotted down who gave her what in order to write the "thank you" cards at a later time. She reached for a royal blue gift bag, taking out a card made out of a folded piece of paper.
This belongs to you. There's already film in it. -Ezra
Her hand reached into the bag and pulled out the camera he had given her the previous summer, which she had left on the shelf in his apartment. It didn't feel right to keep such an expensive camera once their relationship ended. It was theirs. It wasn't hers. It belonged to them and their memories...and their photo shoots. She turned the camera in her hands, running her fingers over the delicate antique parts. A smile spread across her face as she remembered the first photo shoot they had taken when he was trying to make her feel more confident. The morning session soon turned to be a little more steamy than both of them had expected...
She sighed. It was a bittersweet feeling. Their lives turned upside down after that summer due to unexpected children...one of which didn't make it. Lifting the camera to the window, she took a photo without putting much thought into it. She just wanted to remember what it felt like. She wanted to remember what they felt like.
Unfortunately, it was the last photo. Her forehead wrinkled as she wondered why it was so full. She knew it was self-destructive behavior—but part of her wanted to see the photos they had taken together but never developed. Abandoning her pile of gifts, she picked up the camera and left the house.
Inside the studio, photos hung from clothespins like a timeline of their happiness.
She expected to see a pile of heartbreaking images documenting their happy summer together. She expected to see a few cute photos of Malcolm from the months they spent together as stepmother and stepson. They were all there, even the photo of the tree outside her house.
Aria squinted her eyes as she tried to make out several photos still developing. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking at the photos pensively. When did she take these?
The images started to become clearer and clearer. The subject was the same in all six photos: Ezra. Her eyes remained squinted as she stepped back, her feet bringing her further and further from the images until she bumped into a table behind her.
Ezra held a piece of paper in each photo, forming a complete sentence. A sentence he never really had to ask her before due to the complexity of their relationship.
Will you go out with me?
And she only had one thought in her mind: What a nerd.
Okay, maybe two thoughts.
"Two days" she whispered to herself.
Although Malcolm is not Ezra's on the show (duh we all saw that coming before the story even started) he is and still will be his in this story. That will not change.
And if for all of you who know what's happening on Tomorrow...we shall get through this together.
Thank you for the reviews, as always, and the kind tweets.
We're almost to the end. One more chapter.
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