Harry Potter and the Bonds to be Named Later

It all started with a simple argument...

"How can you expect people to believe in a creature when there is no evidence that it exists?" Hermione demanded.

"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence," Luna retorted primly. "Logic is not something you can arbitrarily disregard and expect to be taken seriously."

Hermione's mouth opened and closed several times without a sound coming out before she managed to regain the power of speech.

"If you go by that brand of logic, you could claim that the reason muggles lose socks in the dryer is that house elves steal them to use in secret fertility rites."

Luna nodded. "That is possible; of course if you want to prove it, you've got to do some research on the subject. I'd suggest talking to the elves at Hogwarts, but since it's secret rituals you'd have to figure out how to tell when elves are lying so you'd know when you were on the right track."

"I have no intention of researching the matter," Hermione groaned.

"Well, that's just lazy. How will you ever know if you're right or not unless you do research?"

"I just meant that anything is possible using your logic unless its been dis-proven."

"Exactly!" Luna said happily, glad her friend got it.

Hermione frowned as her brain worked overtime to try and figure out a way to explain Luna was wrong when she had a sinking feeling that she wasn't, or at least that she wasn't in any way that could be explained.

Neville decided to take one for the team when he thought he saw smoke rising from Hermione's head. "I don't think bonded house elves can lie to their masters, so someone bonded to a house elf could probably solve the question of muggle socks and secret rites fairly easily."

"You need to study the bonds first," Luna pointed out. "But then the study of bonds is something everyone should study, especially everyone here," Luna said as she slipped Harry a book on the subject.

"What?! Why?" Hermione asked, jarred out of the circles her mind was running in trying to argue with Luna by the thought of something new to study.

"Because the people in this compartment have some very strong and unusual bonds that affect them greatly," she explained.

"Like what?" Neville asked.

"You have a strong and easy bond with plants, which most people refer to as a green thumb. I can't be sure but I think that it affects your potion brewing ability, because any plant based ingredients would be enhanced by your touch."

"Huh, so that's why I keep screwing up potions?"

"That and Snape, his job is to make it as difficult as possible for anyone who isn't in Slytherin to brew potions. I guess Dumbledore wants to make sure no one in Slytherin becomes a Potions Master," Luna said brightly.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "His job is to teach potions, and make it easier for people to brew them by providing adult supervision and oversee their work."

Luna just raised an eyebrow. "Do we have to discuss the rules of logic again?"

Neville quickly jumped in, "Think of what the man actually does, not what he is supposed to do."

Hermione sighed and silently nodded, conceding her defeat.

"I'd think there would be more Potions Masters from Slytherin since they don't have to go through all the crap the rest of us do," Ron voiced what the rest of them were thinking.

Luna laughed like she'd been told the biggest joke. "Oh my, no. There hasn't been a Potions Master from Slytherin since he started teaching. No the purpose of the Potions Master exam is to see if you can brew under pressure and anyone who got an exceeds expectations from Snape in one of the other houses can pass easily. It's the Slytherins who always fail."

"So he's doing it on purpose?" Harry asked, eyes wide.

"No." Luna wrinkled her nose. "He's just an enormous arsehole and Dumbledore is using that."

Everyone turned to Hermione who just gave them a flat look. "What? It's pretty obvious."

"Anyway, we also have the life debts owed – those are pretty major bonds. Harry and Ginny also have links to You-Know-Who."

"What?!" everyone shrieked.

"Spells dealing with souls create incredible strong bonds, often making those created by life debts look like mere cobwebs."

Everyone fell silent as they considered Luna's words, not even asking how she knew what bonds there were among the group.

"Research?" Harry asked Hermione, glancing up from the book he was reading.

"Research," she agreed firmly.

* * *

"Harry Potter!" Dumbledore called out, sounding surprised as he read the unexpected Fourth entry from the Goblet of Fire, although with Harry's luck, you had to wonder why he was surprised at all.

Harry didn't even glance up from the book he was reading, or rather from the letter inside the book he was reading, until Hermione had nudged him several times. "What?!"

"They called you," she said.

"Who?"

"Dumbledore."

"What about him?" Harry asked, confused and only half paying attention as his eyes drifted back down to the letter.

Hermione closed the book he was reading the letter in. "Dumbledore called you because your name came out of the Goblet of Fire."

"Well, why'd he put it in then?!" Harry asked, still a bit distracted.

"I'm not sure he did, he sounded a bit surprised," she said contemplatively."And although your theory about Dumbledore being behind everything including the Kennedy assassination was well thought out, I think it's more likely that he knew what was going on and saw that his participation wouldn't be needed beyond a few nudges."

Harry scratched his head. "Hmmmm."

"At any rate, you'd better get in there with the rest of the champions so they can sort this out."

"More like blame me for some plot."

"I can't believe you," Ron growled. "Some friend you are!"

Harry looked over at Ron over the top of his glasses. "You've got to be kidding me," he stated in deadpan. Harry rolled his eyes at the pissed off redhead. "Alright Mr. Weasley your services as a friend are no longer required. I'm afraid you've fallen far below the minimum required intelligence level for the position."

Hermione just stared at Harry, stunned by the change in him.

Harry shrugged. "They dumped all of Dudder's old school books, as well as a bunch that were supposed to increase his vocabulary in my room, and with nothing to do but read and my school supplies locked up down in my old room... I read. I just generally skip it to keep Ron happy."

"What?" Ron asked, confused by Harry, who should be apologetic for entering his name in the Goblet – not looking annoyed and sounding like Hermione.

"If you're stupid enough to think I put my name in the Cup after I made my feelings about the whole stupid contest clear then I'm going to assume you're either as bright as Crabbe and Goyle or have the personality of Malfoy. Since you're giving me shit already, I'm going to have to say it's both and since I have to risk my life every year in some set up from Dumbledore…" Harry growled only to be interrupted by Hermione.

"Alleged!"

"Fine, setup from Dumbledore allegedly where I have to face Voldemort yet again to save the Wizarding World, I really don't need the extra ration of shite. You are no longer my friend, as I've decided to add a minimum intelligence requirement to the position."

"I. you... but?!" sputtered the redhead, confused and pissed at being compared to Malfoy.

"Yes, how lovely for you. I'm sure you'll get the hang of speaking eventually. Unfortunately I no longer give two shits. Do not speak to me, I'm no longer your friend. I'm afraid I can't be any clearer than that."

"How dare you?" Ron began, only to be silenced by Harry shoving a piece of fried chicken into his open mouth.

"And Hermione is mine!" Harry said firmly.

"Harry!" Hermione said, blushing brightly – everyone however noticed, she wasn't objecting.

"Hey!" Ginny protested.

"Fine, I'll share Hermione with you," Harry sighed. "I didn't know you were close friends with her, but I'm certainly not going to keep her from seeing her friends."

"Wait! What kind of mine do you mean … err relationship wise …" Hermione stumbled about.

"Whatever type of relationship you want," Harry replied firmly. Best friend was certainly an open slot, now with Ron gone and he had never been quite sure she wasn't his best friend anyway.

She blushed brightly, realizing Harry was allowing her to set the boundaries in their relationship to whatever she felt comfortable with meaning he trusted her completely.

"Oh, and can you read the letter Luna sent me? It seems to be a logical argument on why I should be molesting her at every opportunity."

"What?!"

Harry nodded. "I know, she's a nice girl and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I'm nearly as good at forming logical arguments as you are and she has some very compelling arguments in there."

Before Hermione could say anything, McGonagall came to escort Harry to the other Champions. "Mr. Potter, why must you always get into these messes?"

"Because either Voldemort or Dumbledore…" he began.

"Allegedly!"

"Well generally there is always some plot about that either targets me or needs me to solve it, because whenever I go to a 'responsible adult' they tell me everything is taken care of." He gave Minerva a pointed look, not quite brave enough to glare at her.

"You should never have been involved in either incident, you're much too young to be facing such dangers."

"Well if I don't show up for these events Voldemort gets a new body! Well and a lot of people die... but most of them keep pissing me off so I don't really care all that much at the moment."

"Hey!"

"Not you Ginny, I mean idiots who think I'm a Dark Wizard and the Heir of Slytherin because I can speak to snakes."

"I was there too," Ron began trying to puff up his own importance.

"I could have simply flown with Hermione over the chessboard as the puzzle beforehand provided brooms," Harry said after stuffing another drumstick into Ron's mouth to shut him up.

"I really need to learn a spell that conjures chicken legs, it'd make my life so much easier," Harry said before remembering what he was talking about. "Anyway, has anyone ever asked what snakes talk about?"

"What do snakes talk about?" Seamus asked. "I bet it's all temptation and dark magic."

Harry just rolled his eyes. "Actually it's all about the best places to get a tan and find the juiciest mice."

Minerva and Lavender both looked interested. Hopefully for different reasons, Harry thought to himself.

"What? Really?!"

"Yes Seamus, they're just animals. They mostly bitch about the cold. If you want to hear about temptation and dark magic, talk to the owls."

"Owls talk about temptation and dark magic?" Hermione gasped, wide eyed.

"All the time," Harry confirmed. "Snakes don't often live with wizards, owls see everything and they tend to gossip a lot."

"Owls are evil?" Ron asked, having finished off the chicken leg.

Harry stuffed another one in Ron's mouth. "No, but even evil wizards write letters and owls see a lot more than you'd think."

"You speak owl?" Seamus asked.

"Nah, don't be silly. Hedwig does, and she tells me what they talk about."

Before anyone could question him on how he could talk to Hedwig if he didn't speak owl, Madame Pomfrey interrupted, "Mr. Potter they need you with the other Champions. Am I going to need to get your usual bed ready?"

"Keep it on standby Madam Pomfrey, I'm sure it'll be needed before whatever plot of Voldemort or Dumbledore -"

"Alleged!"

"Alleged plot of Dumbledore is finished," Harry corrected himself and started toward the end of the hall.

Everyone in the room turned when Harry entered.

"Do they need the Champions for something?" Fleur, a french girl with an almost ridiculously thick accent, asked.

"Nah, some bastard played silly buggers with the Cup so my name came out. I'm pretty sure Dumbledore knows who, but he'll play dumb until it's all over and I wake up in hospital again just in time for the closing feast."

"This happens to you a lot?" asked Krum.

"Every year. First year, it was a possessed DADA teacher. Second year it was a possessed student and the DADA teacher I brought along, just in case, turned out to be almost as bad."

"How come there wasn't a trial then?" Cedric asked curiously, as the truth of the matter had never gotten out.

"Well the first year DADA teacher got burned to ash, and everyone knows what happened to the second year DADA teacher. He managed to wipe his own mind using Weasley's wand. The student who I won't name, because she really doesn't need people harassing her, was fine once I destroyed the cursed diary that was possessing her."

"What about Slytherin's monster?" Cedric asked.

"Giant basilisk. Dumbledore's phoenix clawed out its eyes, and I stabbed through the roof of its mouth into its brain with a sword the Sorting Hat brought me."

"I thought its gaze killed," Krum said.

"It does. The direct gaze of a basilisk kills, and a filtered or reflected gaze only petrifies. So the direct gaze was useless against a phoenix."

"How big a basilisk are we talking here?" Krum asked skeptically.

Harry shook his head. "I have no clue. I was smaller last year and scared shit-less. I wish there was a way to share memories, that would be real useful in this situation."

"You mean like a pensieve?" Madam Maxine asked.

"A what?" Harry asked.

"A pensieve, it's a runic bowl used to share memories or store them so you can look them over later," Madam Maxine explained.

"That sounds brilliant!" Harry exclaimed. "Do you have one with you?"

"Non, but I know of a quick runic construct that works almost as well and will only take a few seconds to set up."

"That would be great! I get tired of telling people things and having them not believe me. Set it up and I'll show you what I mean."

Madam Maxine took a piece of chalk from her pocket and quickly made a 6'x8' chalk diagram on the wall. Something rather easy for someone her size. With a tap of her wand it turned into a shimmering silver screen.

"OK, now what do I do?" Harry asked eagerly.

"Put your wand to your temple, and think carefully of what you'd like to extract. Slowly pull your wand away then flick it at the screen."

Harry did as instructed and everyone watched fascinated as the events in the Chamber of Secrets were revealed.

What had seemed like hours at the time to Harry was less than five minutes in real time.

"Man was I scrawny," Harry commented at the end while everyone just stared at him.

"Ooh! Let's watch the troll incident from my first year!"

Harry laughed as the scene of him jumping on the troll played out. "Man, I really need to eat more. But being starved most of my life not to mention every summer has really stunted my growth. I don't suppose there's a magic way to fix it?"

Karkaroff nodded. "Da, but it is a dark spell as it switches the problem with someone else, giving you their growth and strength while making them suffer your starvation and neglect."

"Aww... Figures, I don't suppose I can just cast it on a Death Eater or Voldemort could I?"

"I suppose you could, but it would still be a dark spell."

"Yeah, but it's not like they could take me to court," Harry said thoughtfully. "And I really would rather see them weakened."

Karkaroff absently wrote the spell on a piece of parchment and handed it to Harry as Dumbledore came in the door with Snape on his heels.

"He's nothing but an attention seeking brat! I don't care what he claims, I'm sure he put his name in the Cup," Snape complained as they entered the room.

Harry smiled and put his wand to his temple for a moment as Snape ranted, before flicking it at the screen again.

Everyone watched in shock as Harry's first class with Snape went by, followed by clip after clip of how Snape behaved toward the young Gryffindor in his first year.

"You spoiled little brat, just because you can't stand the fact that you aren't treated as royalty here like you are at home..."

Harry flicked his wand at the screen and it started playing a whole new section of memories involving the Dursley family.

An ashen faced Dumbledore found himself at a loss for words, while Snape just seemed a bit happier for having seen it.

The stunned silence lasted for a moment before Harry held up his wand and spoke, "I swear on my magic that I didn't enter my name into the Cup or ask anyone else to put my name in." A soft blue glow outlined Harry for a moment before fading away.

"Lumos," he said casually causing his wand to light up. "Well, guess I'm not one of the Champions."

Moody and Bagman entered the room just in time to hear Harry's denial.

"I'm sorry but rules are rules. You entered your name in the Cup, so you have to compete or risk losing all your magic," Bagman explained snidely, wondering why everyone there was looking at him as if he were an idiot.

Harry yawned. "Nah, I was reading about debts and bonds and while someone can confound a magical object they can't confound magic itself, so I don't have to worry about losing my magic at all. Of course everyone that intentionally tried to pledge me to this is going to lose all their magic," Harry said smugly.

"Potter, just because you don't want to own up to putting your name in is no reason to risk it. Claim you didn't all you want but you need to compete," Moody growled.

"I'd rather get the magic of whoever pledged me, thanks," Harry said cheerfully.

"Potter!" Snape sneered. "Ordering one of your flunkies to enter you is just as binding as entering yourself."

Harry rolled his eyes, knowing that getting Snape to accept reality was nearly impossible. "Did you know that if you owe a life debt and betrayed and/or harmed the person it belonged to they can ask magic to intercede on their behalf to make things right?" Harry said conversationally but with a glint in his eye that Dumbledore didn't like.

"Harry!" Dumbledore quickly called out. "I'm sure such extreme measures aren't called for, after all didn't Professor Snape save your life expunging the debt?"

Harry looked thoughtful. "That is entirely possible, but you do know that life debts can not be accrued or paid if you had a hand in creating the situation, right?"

"Let the brat cast the spell, I'm sure I've paid off everything I've owed him a dozen times over and I could use a slave," Snape snorted while everyone who had seen Harry's memories just stared at him like he was mad.

"Excellent!" Harry agreed. "I'll just call in all debts owed me, and we'll see if you're right."

"All debts Harry?" Dumbledore asked nervously. "Surely there's no need to go that far."

"There is, and don't call me Shirley." Harry laughed as he held up his wand and cast "Karmatic Equilibrium!" sending a wave of magic out that was felt by everyone, although the effects wouldn't be known for quite some time.

AN: Mucho gracias to godogma for typing this up!