Spring Break is here for me! I have been using that free time with actually going somewhere!
I was at Washington D.C. with part of my marching band family to play a few tunes very close to one of the monuments! I got to go to Smithsonian museums and had a great time! XD
And there are two questions that I have to answer.
Elisablackcat, no, Jake did not kill the one who murdered his niece. He did attempt to but was, quote on quote by Convictstuck Character Bios, "caught in the middle of trying to kill the man so he never got to end it." Jake is in prison for attempted murder but he still obsesses over "finishing the job."
ArlkatThePillowfighter, you'll find out later. ;)
And if there is anyone to help me with the German translation, please tell me anything wrong. And any help is fine! All is welcome!
Con XIX
Talking
Idiot…
Jake is an idiotic barnacle for doing that!
Dirk already has a beauty and she is far better than Jake! Why would Jake do that?
Dirk is such a wonderful friend. He promised to help Jake kill that scoundrel and listens to him. Dirk is always honest to him, never telling him lies like those retched therapists…
But Jake couldn't sleep that night…
There are thoughts going on inside him…
It was like a ghost but Jake hopes it's not. Ghosts make everything worse…
It is morning and Jake didn't really have a wink of sleep… Those thoughts kept him awake… Jake tries to not think about thoughts on Dirk. Especially those thoughts…
"Jake? Are you awake? Jake?"
Jake peeks out of his bunk bed and sees Dirk…
"Dirk…" Jake begins. "You will talk to darling Roxy, yes? …John's sweet sister has a bakery called Gutsy Gumshoe, G-U-T-S-Y and G-U-M-S-H-O-E. Remember, the scoundrel should be gone…"
"Of course, Jake, I'll do that…Anything else?"
Jake giggles. "I would like to see you before I rest…"
Dirk says nothing but Jake believes he understands. Dirk always understands... He's smart and intelligent like that. Dirk always understands... And he knows a lot of things.
"English, Strider, it's time to get out. It's breakfast time."
Fortunately, Jake has no therapist. Unfortunately, Jake is rather bored. Dirk is taking his time calling and talking to the lady known as Roxy and cannot accompany Jake with the time that he has. But interesting enough, Dave is here.
Jake doesn't really like Dirk's brother that much to be truthful. Dirk is honest and kind while Dave is… well, Jake can't say he's complete opposite but Jake can say that he hasn't seen much of honesty and kindness in Dave for Jake to really like him… There are times but…
"Strider… why are you here…? You're usually not here during this time…"
Dave does a two-finger salute greeting and a nod. "Sup English, I'm just doing a bit of a side mission, das ist alles."
"The escape…?"
"Ja."
Jake nods and licks his teeth. He stares at Dave for a while… he's not that blurry…
"Say English," Dave interrupts the silence. "What do you think about Dirk?"
Jake blinks and then takes a step back. Dave is less blurry and Jake can see that Dave is curious but there is something hidden in him…
"Dirk is a great friend and companion…" Jake answers. "He has made this present part of life better… I feel I'm in debt with him even if the deed has not been done…"
For some reason, Dave chuckles at this. "I'm sure Dirk would be happy with what you said. Maybe you can show it through actions~."
"Actions? What the frig do you mean, David? I tell and remind him of his worthiness almost daily. I give portions of food and orange juice when the opportunity comes. I retrieve cigarettes and lighters for him. And I keep his lips wet."
Dave stops his smirking and stares with one eyebrow raised. "Warten, did you just said 'keep his lips wet'? You kissed him?"
Jake immediately scowls. "What gobbledygook are you saying! Your brother is courting a lady! I keep his lips wet –it's no such thing like kissing!"
"Well, my definition of kissing is any lip contact and you seem to contact with his."
"How about you kiss my fist when I punch you." Jake growls.
Dave frowns and does the wise decision of not going further with his ridiculous assumption. Good… Dave may not understand but at least he isn't trying to prove nonsense. Dave can act and behave well if he wants to. And that reminds Jake…
"So here my question to you, David…" Jake begins as he narrows his eyes. "What is your thought and feelings on dear John…?"
Dave stares at Jake for a while… and he looks away. Jake leans back and he can see the blush on Dave's cheeks.
"John did make a picture…" Jake says. "It was a fan art of your two characters… Sweet Brother and Hell Jeff…"
"Actually, it's–"
"You fancy him, Strider… You have romantic feelings for John…" Jake can easily see that Dave tenses up at this. Of course, Dave didn't suspect Jake can see and find things…
"English, I–"
"Let me speak, Strider." Jake speaks out and looks at Dave at best as he can. "I've seen your behavior and there were times that I got suspicion… I saw your reaction to his kisses, Strider. I saw your eyes… your smile… your honest happiness…"
Dave says nothing…
"I may want someone better for her but… that is not my decision, it is his…"
Dave looks up with wide, shocked eyes. "English… are you saying… that…"
"If she chooses you, I'll let him choose you… He is old enough to make his decisions. And I know I must accept on who he likes…" Jake sighs and closes his eyes. "If you really like him… Let him choose and accept you… And I'll let you…"
Jake opens his eyes and waits.
"…Wow English… I mean, heilige scheiße, this is –I, uh…"
"I have two requests though…"
Dave blinks with a confused frown. Jake can't exactly pinpoint what Dave is feeling and what that could mean… Jake did give an approval but Jake wants to have some conditions…
"One," Jake raises his index finger up and shows it to Dave. "I want no manipulation… no abuse… no pressure… It must be mutual and it must be consensual."
"Okay, let John love me by himself. Pff, that's leicht. My Strider charms will help."
Jake rolls his eyes at this. It's… interesting of Dave's confidence. But Dave keeps repeating as if he needs reassurance. Jake can't be really sure if Dave is prideful or insecure. But his repeating reassurance has made Jake have a semi-immediate action that is rolling his eyes.
"So what's the second?" Dave asks.
Jake doesn't immediately answer. He walks to Dave.
Jake has his eyes very narrowed that it's actually stinging. But Jake wants to stare and see Dave's face. After Jake gets near enough, he immediately grabs Dave's shoulders and let their foreheads collide with each other. Jake hears Dave curse at this but it is not primary. He has to make sure…
"The second one…" Jake breathes out. "When you get… intimate with John…" Jake takes a big sigh out.
"…Please make sure he screams your name out loud and clear…"
Jake doesn't really know what to expect on the reaction of the second condition. But it did not surprise Jake that Dave has his eyes big and wide while his jaw is slacked. This is the expression of a blank yet conflicting mind. Really, that isn't a surprise.
"…Äh, was?! Are you fucking with me? Really, bist du? Because you just – heilige Mutter ficken fuck! Das kann nicht dein Ernst sein!"
"Strider," Jake does a quick shake on Dave's shoulders. "This is necessary. You need to make John say your name! Scream, howl, sing, yell, groan, moan–I don't care! …That is the second condition. And if you somehow can't, say his name and maybe later, learn how to be a better lover in bed."
"Excuse me? Striders are ironically good lovers. We know how to get things go on, all night long if we want to." Dave then nods. "Fine… I agree on your stupid conditions… I, um, too want it to be… mutual…"
Jake stares at Dave with much focus he can muster. Dave is blushing with heat and redness being very conspicuous… His eyes are showing honesty and his body shows no sign of lying…
…Huh…
Jake smiles, giggles, and lets Dave go.
"Alright then, Dave… good luck and no foul acting or else I'll bite your hands off…"
Time had passed again and now Jake is with dear and sweet Jadey-John.
He did not see much of Dirk or Dave as the day goes on. Of course, both of them are most likely doing their side missions. Sometimes Jake had his side missions and Jake likes them since they are like little adventures. But this is nice, very nice…
"So, uh, Jake, how are you? Just carry those boxes and put them there."
"I am very well…And yes, Jade…"
Jake helps carry food from place to place. It didn't really weigh much but it's something to help and do with Jadey-John. It really is nice to bond with her again…
"So, Jake…" John speaks out, beginning a conversation. "Um, I need an opinion on something…"
"What is it, John? I'll speak truthfully."
"…It's about Dave…"
Jake looks at John, luckily for enough to see John is not afraid or frightened by him but… worried…
"What about Dave…?"
John does not immediately answer. He takes a slow deep breath in… and then sighs. He puts down the box he was carrying and sits on it. Jake waits, if he needs some time, Jake will give it all.
John licks his lips and sighs again. "I think Dave likes me… like really, really likes me… I don't know what to think about it though –I mean, he protects me from guys and keep, um…"
Jake narrows his eyes a little to see the blush on John. It is very adorable…
"Well… there was this group that was making fun of me and was ready to beat me up or something and Dave… well, he put his arm around my shoulder and said something… interesting…"
"What did he say…? Is it horrendous? Should I break his hand off…?"
"No!" John immediately answers. "It didn't really offend me at all! It just… it made me think…"
"May I know what it is? It seems to be bothering you a tad bit…"
John's blush turns redder and slightly bigger. "…He said… 'Hands off boys, this one is mine.' I mean –maybe I'm being stupid and overthinking this –but I almost think that maybe, just maybe, Dave isn't really joking around when he says stuff like that to me…" John rubs the back of his head with both hands. "I'm honestly scared…"
"Scared…? Are you sure I can't bite his hands off?"
"No! It's not about Dave! It's about me!"
Now Jake is confused and curious. And John looks embarrassed… His blush is conspicuously bigger and redder. His shoulders are hunched up. His blue eyes are looking down to the ground…
"…I'm scared to really, really like someone…"
Jake tilts his head. "Is it because he's male?"
"Again, no," Fortunately, John rolls his eyes at his question. "I'll trust you with this information. Promise me you won't tell anyone, okay."
"I promise…"
John takes a deep breath out. "…Well… I-I'm gay…"
"Is it really that bad?" Jake questions. It must be a conflicting question though as John looks away. For some reason, he looks… guilty…
"I don't know, Jake… I used to deny it but it began to hurt… And when I came out, it hurts other people…"
"Being attracted to the same gender and sex shouldn't hurt people…"
"Well, it somehow does with me and I still got hurt from coming out too…" John puts his hand on his hair, combing it back and let it rest near his forehead. "Love is pretty much… shitty really. What, with the heartbreaking…"
Jake frowns at this. Did she really have her heart broken…? It is a vile and destructing pain that no one likes. Jake swears he'll break Dave is he ever succeeds doing that…
"I believe it is most likely mutual if you like him, John…"
"Yeah, but for how long?"
Jake is surprised at that response. He did not think that was what he was going to say. Jake can see John's face is altered to one of wanting an answer to the question. But…Jake really doesn't have an answer for that…
"…I do not know…" Jake answers. "Love…is where your heart hurts when they are gone… That is what I learned the most about it… Yet…"
"Yet…?"
"Their love, any love, is somehow worth living too…" Jake answers. "Jade… I loved –no, I still love her even after her demise…" Jake can't help but look away. "I still live to exact her revenge… to bring justice on her unfair death…"
Jake can't help but… choke out a giggle. It is rather… irony that Jake is saying this to John… Jake doesn't really–
"Jake… do you really think it's worth it…?" John asks. "I mean, I don't even know if he likes guys like that…"
"I believe I can say that David does indeed fancy men from that one memory of him saying that he is "hella gay" after trying to reason with me why Bill Murray is not attractive after watching Groundhog Day… I still think Garfield is a good movie though, no matter what they say..."
Fortunately, John snickers at this. That is good… Laughter is always good…
And there is more fortune as John is in a happier mood… There is still nerves going inside of John but that's natural. At least Jake made Jadey-John feel better. And John nods, as if agreeing with Jake that Garfield is a good movie. That's great… the Striders don't understand good movies all the time when they're watching one…
"What about you and Dirk? How's your relationship going?"
"Relationship…? Jade–"
"Please don't tell me that you guys aren't dating –I thought you guys are dating." John immediately panics. Oh no… "Shit –I'm sorry. I didn't –I thought–"
"John, please calm down…" Jake tries to reassure. "Dirk and I… we have a strong platonic relationship, that's it… Why would you believe that…?"
Jake laughs out in an uncomfortable manner… "It's just… well, you two seem to care about each other a lot and… I thought you guys were, uh, dating…"
Jake is very surprised.
And John continues. "I mean, I saw you guys, uh… Well, did you guys ever made out or something like that? You guys pretty much have a good chemistry. You should really try it."
Jake can't help but somehow feel heat on his cheeks.
Really…?
Make out…?
…Oh dear…
Jake doesn't know what to really think about the suggestion Jade made.
He did help with Johnny-Jade with all the boxes, trying to think about the suggestion. John doesn't speak that much but seems very friendly to the lunch ladies with surprisingly witty jokes. Jake can't almost believe that it was her. Jade never did learn that type of humor. She loves slapstick… But Jake didn't have any reason to be around the kitchen… He left…
And now he's here in the cell…with Dirk…
Should he really…"make out" with Dirk? Dirk is with Roxy… Roxy is the perfect woman and lady, Dirk deserves the best! And for Jake to disrupt that relationship…
Jake knows he is a scoundrel, a complete scoundrel, but he will not do something so… so… so foul…! But Jadey-John said Jake should try it… And maybe… just maybe…
"Jake? Are you okay? You look like–"
"Dirk, did you talk to Roxy, Miss Lalonde?"
Dirk doesn't look like he wants to talk about Roxy… He is actually frowning…
"…She said she'll take care of the guy…" Dirk answers. "But seriously, Jake, are you–"
"Dirk, please answer me this…" Jake can't help but interrupt. He had to do this… "How much do you miss her…? Her touch? Her kisses? Please tell me that, Dirk… I want to know…"
Dirk looks so confused and so… deleterious on his own self…
"…I guess I miss her a lot…" Dirk answers. "I can touch her during the visits she's here and…"
"Would she be angered and devastated if you used… a substitute…?"
Dirk doesn't look at Jake. He has his arms crossed and his head down low… But Jake has to know… He doesn't know why but he has to know…!
"…I don't know why you want to know, Jake… If Dave said something…"
"He did not…"
Dirk takes a look at Jake and goes back to staring down at the ground. Jake can hear Dirk breathing in through his nose… and parting his mouth for a quiet and long sigh…
"No…" Dirk replies. "No, she wouldn't be angered or sad… She actually would–"
Jake did not think. It was like a blur… It was conscious yet unconscious…
Jake takes steady steps towards Dirk and has his hands grab Dirk's head. Before Dirk says a word about his sudden actions, Jake takes advantage of Dirk's parted mouth. He pulls Dirk very close and kisses him. Both lips made contact and there is a small click of teeth.
But it seems Dirk quickly gets it and knows what to do. It seemed immediate that Dirk's hands are on Jake. One is on his shoulder. The other is on the back of Jake's head, pushing them closer…
There was movement… There was activity… There was combat… They are both in each other's mouth…
Jake keeps one hand on Dirk's hair, feeling the incredible softness and lushness of it. Nails and tips of his fingers are massaging and gently scraping Dirk's scalp. The other hand goes lower, the thumb rubbing at Dirk's jawline while the rest of the hand is caressing part of his neck. And Jake can taste it, the addicting nicotine…
Jake shudders. There was… there was something lascivious about this…
It was… it is sensual… lecherous… libidinous… wanton–
Jake shoves Dirk away and tries to contain his breathing. Jake can feel himself panting as he stares at Dirk's conspicuous surprised and most likely shocked expression. But Jake somehow does not feel the rightful guilt of his action…
Of course…Jake realizes it…
"Jake…?"
"…Apologies Dirk…" Jake squeaks. "Though you have your partner that is Miss Lalonde… use me as a substitute until we are free…"
"Jake, I…"
"Please do so, Dirk…"
It takes some time before Dirk nods, giving his hesitant agreement.
Jake immediately gives Dirk a hug. He can smell the familiar soap and foreign scent of him…
Of course, Dirk then hugs him back…
Jake can't believe that he realized it now.
He is in lust with Dirk…
Yes, Jake is in denial about loving Dirk. I see Jake in this AU as this supposed psycho who subconsciously denies things like love and that therapists can be female. There are psychos in movies, books, and other entertainment things that show that one very particular trait where they are very, very, very stubborn with what they think and believe in a particular issue, lesson, way of life, etc.
Of course, next chapter, it's about John and his little thing going on with a particular red-eyed assassin. ;3