AN: I am so sorry for the late update. I'm kinda graduating soon because I'm done with my couple of months of internship work.

So I've been BUSY AS HELL

But regardless

Enjoy!

Stephanie Meyer Owns the lot.

Bella POV

I think I went deaf.

There was a constant ringing in my ears as the blood rushes to my face.

I could feel the heat radiate and even a little drop of sweat at the nape of my neck.

The ringing was like a heart monitor but at a uniform pitch.

The one that indicated death.

All I could feel was nerves twitching, blood rushing too fast, and ice holding my hand.

I hadn't looked at him nor responded to what he said.

I'm not sure how much time passed.

But it felt like a while.

"Hey.." Edward broke my trance and lightly touched my cheek with the back of his index finger.

And that's when I looked at him.

He gave me a small comforting smile and let go of my hand to return to the steering wheel.

"Bella.. I can turn back and-"

"Drive" I commanded and I heard the car come back alive.

We were back on the road towards the meadow. The music was turned off, the windows slightly lowered to let the wind cut through and complete silence between us.

I kept my eyes focused at the passing trees and the roadway on my side of the window. I didn't turn to look at Edward even once.

But I felt him.

I felt how tensed he had suddenly become. Felt how fear had washed through him as his leg would slow down on the accelerator nervously.

He was second guessing this plan.

He still drove silent as ever. I almost forgot Edward didn't breathe because only my quiet breath filled the air.

With him in the confined space of the car, I still felt an odd sense of loneliness.

Maybe it was the tremendous amount of thoughts running through my mind.

The extent to what Edward remembered had suddenly morphed into a fear I didn't know existed.

A fear I wasn't sure how to face.

And eventually I heard the acceleration slow down and the press of the brakes ever so light.

We were here. Even in the dark I could see what the path looked like. I remembered it better than Edward probably.

I let the seatbelt snap open and got the door for myself, I held my crutches and sturdied myself on the uneven ground. Edward hadn't moved an inch. I didn't think he would come along.

I didn't ask either.

I watched as the car headlights turned off and the engine noise fade out.

Edward's door opened and I heard his shoes crunch the tiny dried leaves beneath him. I faced the pathway knowing exactly which tree to take the turns at and which branches to duck under.

And so I started walking towards it. More like stumbling since the crutches found it difficult to get a grip.

Edward quietly followed.

We walked for a while, silence embracing us. The trees blew quietly and the only sound was our feet crushing the leaves and dirt beneath us.

I kept glancing back to see if Edward was still there. And he was, he kept two giant steps of distance from me but every time I had a tiny slip or the crutch wouldn't sink into the ground I knew Edward had inched closer to me.

We had finally reached. The grass had grown, almost up till my knee. I let go of the crutches and heard them land with a silent thud. The meadow clearing was even more beautiful than I remembered.

I bent down and let the grass blades tickle my palm. I smiled a little to myself.

I slowly sunk to the meadow floor completely surrounded by the tall grass. It smelled divine, small pockets of flowers were sprouting and the trees above had cleared giving direct access to the sky above.

I felt a shuffle of movement and noticed Edward has sat down too next to me.

He was looking up at the sky and I looked at him.

"How long has it been since you were last here?" I asked him softly.

Without turning his head "Months" he replied

"It looks so different but.."

"It's the same" he completed and I nodded and smiled lightly. Edward turned to look at me.

"It's absolutely beautiful now" I said playing with the grass.

Edward sighed "It really is" he said with a slight gaze in my direction.

It got eerily quiet. Edward and I just kept looking around and admiring the little details of the meadow. The sky held a few stars and I would glance up and admire them too.

I turned to look at Edward and his eyes caught mine immediately. I didn't turn away, I shuffled slightly closer and Edward hesitantly rested his arm on the grass just behind my back.

Without a second thought I slowly tilted my head and lay it on his shoulder. It was hard and cold but it felt right.

The smell of the fabric of his sweater and of him intoxicated me. I let myself take in a deep breath and turned my head a little towards his neck.

I heard him chuckle low.

"Bella stop sniffing me" he said and I retreated my head back a little to look at him.

"Then stop smelling so good all the time" I simply replied. He shot me a crooked smile and his bright teeth were blinding me.

I let my hand touch the corner of his lip and I regretted it immediately.

Edward shook his head away from my fingers and the feeling of rejection washed over me.

I bit my lip and made my move away from him.

But his hand behind my back was now at my side and he wrapped it around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I looked at him.

His eyes squinted a little and he gave me a small grin.

"Start over" he said softly

I frowned.

"Can we start over?" He asked hesitantly.

"Start over..everything?" I asked gulping

He nodded and concern laced his eyes. He was asking my opinion.

I shook my head "no" I said.

" I don't want to start over. I don't want to erase everything we've been through and pretend it never happened. I can't do that. I need to remember, I need to grow from this." I say.

I found Edward smiling.

"You've always surprised me. The strength you have in yourself is one of the many things I admire about you Bella."

I looked as Edward continued

"I was falling apart.. I was breaking from the inside and you stayed so strong. For me, for yourself.. when I couldn't hold onto you. You held on regardless...

Edward leaned closer

And you're still holding on so tight.."

I noticed my hand had wound around and held Edward's shirt tight at his back.

I looked at him

"So are you.." I whispered and Edward's grip around me tightened slightly.

He nodded.

"Why are we..after everything" I asked

He sighed "I'll never completely understand this"

His other hand came up and he caressed my cheek lightly.

"I would never want to understand it. I just want it" he said

I felt my throat clench and my eyes were welling up a little.

Edward caught my gaze and held it.

"Give me a chance, I'll do whatever it takes to fix everything. I know I can't take away all the pain I've caused you, but I need you to let me in. I need to see the broken pieces, please Bella let me.." He said as his voice slightly broke.

I felt tears run down my cheek.

Edward's forehead touched mine and he wiped my tears with his thumb.

"You were there for me during the hardest parts of my existence. I don't have enough words to tell you how grateful I am for all that you've done and endured.

I went through emotions and memories and things I hadn't experienced in a long time. I went through the feeling of being lost and loosing at the same time

And everyday I felt hollow inside, everyday I was failing...

but you..you were hope Bella.

You've always been hope for me. And I'm strong enough to hold onto hope for as long as it'll have me."

My hands went around Edward and my head ducked into the crook of his neck. I was shaking, I was sobbing, I was a mess.

Edward pulled me closer and god it felt good to be in his arms.

His embrace was protective and comforting. It was cold and warm. It was strong and gentle.

It was exactly where I was meant to be.

I pulled back to look at him. His eyes held anguish and hurt.

I wiped at my eyes and touched the corner of his lip again.

He smiled and I traced his perfect lip with my finger.

I sighed

Edward eyebrows creased a little.

"I want to show you something" he said and effortlessly got up carrying me along with him.

I was a little surprised at the sudden change of mood.

"What? Now?" I asked and he nodded.

I was expecting him to put me down but he didn't.

"I can walk" I say and Edward reaches down to get my crutches before continuing to walk back to the path from where we came.

I snapped my fingers in his face and tugged at his hair at the back of his neck.

"I. Can. Walk." I say

He chuckles.

"You can, but when was the last time we ran?"

And before I know it I feel the gush of wind in my hair. I turn my face into Edward's chest as he's running.

I haven't felt this way in so long. I can feel the air around me move so fast, I peek and look behind Edward and see the trees disappear quickly. Blood rushes through my body and my heart rate picks up. The adrenaline boosts its way up as well.

It was exhilarating. Even if I wasn't the one running.

Edward started to slow down and we eventually reached the car. He helped me in and then got into the drivers seat.

"Where are we going?" I asked looking at him.

He took my hand in his and dropped a soft kiss at the back of my hand.

"Home" he said as he hit the accelerator.

PLEASE REVIEW REVIEW REVIW