The next morning

''Nihlus, we have entered Palaven airspace and will be docking within the hour.'' Shepard heard the pilot say through the ships intercom.

She turned to look at Nihlus, who briefly lifted his head as he listened, only to drop his gaze back down to the reports in front of him. Sipping her drink, her foot restlessly bouncing up and down beneath the table the closer they got to Palaven, she hummed in frustration. She had spent the entire night thinking about her choices and she had found herself going in circles. Considering her last encounter with Garrus' dad, Shepard found herself reluctant to tell Garrus that she was pregnant as he would most likely inform his family. She brought her hand up to her cheek and up over her eye where a small scar had formed from the scratch Veridian had given her. It's highly unlikely that he would welcome a half-human, half-turian baby into his clan even if it was his grandchild. He had made it very clear that day that he would do everything in his power to stop them from being together and that the child would be shunned.

Shepard ran her fingers through her hair and blew out a breath over her hot drink. Veridian could also tell the Primarch about their child and that's the last thing she wanted. For now her baby was safe in her womb and she would keep it that way for as long as she could. It wasn't just her child's safety she was concerned about. Everyone was implicated. Everyone could be in danger. Arcelia, Solana, Veridian, Chellick, her dad… anyone who was involved in this could come to harm. She winced as she crossed her legs over each other, receiving a quick new dose of pain from the gunshot she had taken. She gently lowered her leg and crossed them beneath the table by her ankles instead.

Shepard sat back in her seat and looked at Nihlus, he was scratching his fringe and she heard a small growl come up from his throat and she shivered as the vibrations reached her. Nihlus and Garrus were complete and utter opposites. She longed to be sitting across from Garrus, she missed him with an overwhelming ache in her heart and now that she knew she had condemned him to a life of misery without her, she itched to ask Nihlus to just turn the ship around and take her back to him. But the truth of the matter was that Garrus had proven to her time and time again that he just wasn't strong enough yet to protect them. She had seen how he hadn't fought harder against the marriage that was being forced on him, how he went along with his father's demands of meeting that… that bitch… how he hadn't pushed her away when he had been bitten.

How he wasn't prepared to leave everything behind for her.

When she had asked him to run away with her she had been completely serious and he had shot her down straight away, not even giving it a second thought. If he couldn't protect and fight for her, wouldn't it be the same story for their child? Would he cave, or give in like he had already done? Shepard leaned back over and folded her arms on the table, laying her head down on them to watch the blackness of space fly past through the window. The more she wanted to tell him, the more she found some reason not to. Perhaps if he became a Spectre it would be different? She quirked an eyebrow at no one in particular as the thought filled her chest with hope. Nihlus had told her last night that he had recommended Garrus for the program and the training normally only lasted a year or two. She could try and live without him for that long surely? If he became a Spectre he would ultimately be a law unto himself and have the resources and connections to keep them safe or hidden.

He could…

Shepard sighed as the coldness from the metal table seeped through her turian shirt, making the hairs at the back of her neck stand up. God, she felt like she had aged years. She was only twenty-three. Surely her life should still be wrapped up in working, partying and blowing off steam with friends, not running away on strange ships to different planets, avoiding assassins whilst pregnant with a hybrid, that came from sleeping with an alien married man.

Or Dr Michel could blow everything out of the water if she and Garrus ever crossed paths. All this worrying and keeping secrets could all go tits up if Michel asked Garrus how he was coping with his new role as a father.

''Fuck sake.'' she hummed as she sat up. This was getting her nowhere.

''Nihlus, sorry to bother you…'' she said standing up and walking around to his side to lean with her backside on the table.

''You aren't a bother Shepard.'' He said, taking her hand from his seated position and giving it a squeeze.

''I don't have much money and for obvious reasons I don't want to be tracked by accessing my bank accounts.'' He hummed and nodded at her. ''I know you have already done more than enough for me, but I have one last favour.'' She said to him, squeezing his hand in return.

''Sure Shepard, if it's something I can do that is.'' He drawled.

''Could you possibly get me some essentials. You know, like food, a new and preferably untraceable omnitool and… clean underwear.'' He barked out a laugh and she bristled as she felt her cheeks redden. Traitorous hormones!

''I don't mind the fact that you're walking around the ship with no underwear on, although personally I don't think any man would mind that, looking at you.'' He drawled, winking at her as she rolled her eyes and playfully slapped him on the shoulder.

''Yeah, I can do that. I have a quarian friend who can sort me out with the omnitool and there are a few Asari shops around so finding you food and clothes shouldn't be a problem.'' He rumbled, standing up and shuffling his papers together on the table into a more orderly pile.

''Thank you.'' Shepard hummed and saw him nod.

''Shepard, you said your dad lives on Palaven right?'' he asked her and watched her nod.

''Do you want me to get him on the line for you? No one would be able to trace the call back here if that's what you're worried about.'' He said.

''No, I mean… yes, I can give him a call… I suppose.'' She grumbled and he laughed at her frustrated sigh.

''I'm not forcing you, you know.'' He smiled at her as she frowned.

''Don't you think it's just awful of me though? I run away from Gar… from Garrus,'' she cleared her throat as his name got stuck in it ''but I can call my dad and let him know I'm ok but continue to let Garrus worry about me?'' Shepard threw her hands in the air.

''I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.'' she said.

''You'll figure it out Shepard.'' He walked over to her giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

''Ten minutes from docking Sir.'' She heard the pilot state and she groaned.

Garrus groggily woke up to the sounds of someone banging pots around in the kitchen and he groaned as he tried to right himself. After talking to his mother for hours last night he only managed to get a few hours shut eye. His hand suddenly contracted in a spasm and he looked down to see that he was holding a very torn and tattered shirt.

Shepard's shirt.

He must have dug it out of his draw last night and fell asleep with it buried in his nose. He could still smell her on the material; he could still smell them from that very first night that they had slept together. He brought the material to his face and sniffed; a keening, crying sound escaping his throat as he pictured her wavy hair, her smile, and the small creases in the corner of her eyes.

He would find her; he didn't care how long it took.

If he had to search the entire galaxy, every obscure and dangerous corner, he would find her and hold her in his arms again. Then possibly kick her ass for leaving him and only then would he make love to her again. He gave a yelp as his alarm clock went off on his arm and he thanked the spirits that he didn't have work… well… ever again really, if he became a spectre. He wanted to start training right away, the sooner he got into it, the sooner he could get his ear to the ground and look out for hints of Shepard.

''Garrus, you up?'' he heard his sisters voice mumble through the door.

''Yeah Sol. What are you doing here so early?'' he asked, muffling his yawn with his hand.

''Mom got me to come over as her and dad had to go back to Palaven. Something about meeting with the Primarch to renegotiate your marriage contract.'' She said as she stepped into his bedroom.

''Yeah, she said they were going to try at least, I didn't think they would leave so soon though.'' He muttered. He was going to miss his mother's council and advice, but he was thrilled that he didn't have to see his father again for a while.

Garrus was aware that his father was having a change of heart but that didn't excuse him from causing all this and it would take him a while to forgive his father. He hissed as he cupped his now aching mandible.

''I hear you went primal on us yesterday.'' His sister tittered and he rolled his eyes.

''Yeah, it wasn't my finest moment. Everything sort of crept up on me and when I heard that bastard's name…'' he growled.

''Yeah, a bonded male is a scary thing. So this turian that Shepard ran off with…'' she said only to jump as Garrus snarled at her.

''She didn't run off with him. She wouldn't leave me to be with him. She probably left because … well, I don't know why but there has to be a damn good reason. Which I intend to find out even if I have to hunt her down till the day I die.'' He hissed.

''Alright, geez. Calm down.'' She trilled. ''Personally I think that she left because she's protecting someone. You most likely. I mean, she got shot and she still came to find you, so obviously it's not herself she's worried about.'' She drawled as she took a step closer to her brother.

''Yeah but that pisses me off a bit. Like she thinks I'm weak and unable to protect myself. Surely she should know that if we stick together we can survive anything. Were partners, in more ways than one. It just doesn't make any sense. '' he moaned as he passed the shirt back and forth between his hands.

''Why didn't you go back with mom?'' he asked as he looked up at her.

''I wanted to stay behind for a bit. Look into some schools on the Citadel, see what courses they offer. I've been toying with the idea of moving here.'' She said.

''Well, you're not moving in with me.'' he rumbled.

''No way I'd move in with you. When Shepard comes and lives here, the place will stink of human.'' she giggled jokingly only to frown as she looked at his neck.

''Spirits, Sabine really got you good.'' She said as she turned Garrus' head to look at the festering wound on his neck.'' When are you going to get that looked at? Leave it any longer and no amount of medigel will fix that.''

''That's the point. I don't want it fixed, I want it removed. I had an appointment yesterday afternoon but as you so clearly pointed out … I wasn't in the best frame of mind. I'm going in today.'' He rumbled as he stood up and looked through his clothing, choosing a black shirt and some blue trousers. He placed the torn shirt back into the drawer next to his bed and headed for the bathroom.

''Are you still charging Sabine for assault?'' she asked as he stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

''Yeah, no way I'm letting her get away with this. Chellick is also handling the proceedings of her trying to kill Shepard. That stupid little pyjack will be in prison for the rest of her miserable life if I have any say in the matter.'' His voice muffled as he started the shower.

''When you're done, come and eat and I'll go with you to the Doctor's.'' Solana said as she left the room.

Washing himself thoroughly, his eyes dropped to the floor as he saw Shepard's loofah sitting in the corner. He bent down to pick it up and hung up it over the taps, her body wash sitting on the racks next to it. He flipped the top of her bottle and breathed in the vanilla and lavender scent. A sort of tranquillity came over him as the water beat down on his back and he stood under the spray remembering all the times she had joined him. How they had laughed, slipped and cursed trying to position themselves correctly in the small shower. Turning the taps off, he dried himself off and got dressed.

Walking to the kitchen, he saw his sister seated at the small table and he scooped up some of the gruel she had made into a bowl and joined her.

''Thank you, for coming over and making breakfast.'' He said.

''I might not be able to do much Garrus, but I do what I can.'' She hummed, spooning another mouthful in.

''Do you mind if we stop off at the office after the doctors?'' he asked.

''No, but I thought you said Chellick was in charge of Sabine?'' she rumbled questioningly.

''He is, but I also need to speak to her one last time. I start training on Monday with Spectre Bau and I have a feeling that until he whips my ass into shape, I'm not going to have a lot of time for anyone except myself and Shepard.'' He said, shovelling the gruel into his mouth quickly as he wanted to leave within the next ten minutes.

''So you're banking all your hopes and dreams on becoming a Spectre? Do you think that if you suddenly become one that all your problems will go away?'' she asked, tilting her head.

''No, not at all. But it will help.'' He muttered.

As Shepard roamed the empty halls of the ship, having been docked for over an hour, she was steadily wearing a path into the decks. Should she call her dad? She didn't have to give him any specifics, she just needed to tell him that she was still alive, ok and that she would keep in contact when she could. In the end, the less he knew the better. She picked up the spare communicator Nihlus had left for her and through memory typed in the sequence to start transferring the call to her father.

''Samuel speaking.'' She heard her father say and a flood of emotion rushed through her.

''Daddy, it's me.'' She said, biting her lip.

''Pumpkin, I haven't heard from you in ages! Are you alright?'' he asked her as she sniffed, a tear escaping her through her smile.

''I'm doing just fine dad. I thought I'd let you know that my omnitool broke so I've had to buy a new one, so my number has been changed. How are you?'' She asked, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt.

''Work is keeping me busy as usual, you'd think that as time passes Turians and humans could get along better but I'm still negotiating terms and treaties here and there… an ambassador's job is never done.'' He grumbled. Shepard gave a small laugh and sniffed again as her nose became blocked.

''What's the matter pumpkin. I know you too well, why are you crying?'' she heard her father coo down the line and she suddenly felt like curling up on his lap like she did as a child.

''Oh, it's nothing big dad… just some boy trouble.'' She muttered.

''Want me to beat him up for you?'' he asked her, amusement in his voice.

''If that would solve everything, then I'd say sure, but it's not always that easy is it?'' she replied.

''No honey. It never is.'' He said.

''Dad, I just wanted to let you know that I've… um… taken a transfer. I'm not living on the Citadel anymore. I can't tell you where I'm going yet but it's a kind of... Uh… an undercover thing.'' She said quietly.

''You know that I know when you're lying to me, right? You don't stutter without good reason, but if you don't want to tell me that's fine. As long as you're safe and as long as you keep in contact. Your mother…'' he stopped talking and her heart clenched.

''I won't do what mom did dad. Don't worry okay. I'll call you as soon as I get settled.'' she placated him with a laugh and she heard him sigh.

''Ok pumpkin, I'll speak to you soon. Love you to the moon and back.'' He said.

''Love you more dad.'' She said, cutting the connection and plonking herself down on the chair in front of her.

Shepard sighed as she looked down at her stomach. Rubbing her belly in soothing motions, she suddenly felt quite silly. Could it hear her? Was it aware? She lifted her head and looked around just incase one of the crew had returned early and when she found no one she looked back down at her stomach again and started humming a tune that her father had once sang to her.

''We'll get through this little one. No matter what you look like, no matter what happens, you and me, we'll get through this. I can't wait to meet you and even though I'm scared as hell about everything that could happen, I know you will be the best thing that will have ever happened to me.'' She said and her heart skipped a beat when she thought of holding her child in her arms within the next 5 months or so.

Shepard stood up slowly from her chair and went back to Nihlus' quarters. Lying back down on the bed, she started to make lists in her head of the things she needed to do as soon as she reached Tuchanka. She needed to contact that specialist that Dr Michel recommended. If memory serves her, the name was Dr Karen Chakwas. Maybe with a small amount of gene therapy, she could avoid some of the more serious complications of carrying a hybrid. Perhaps there was some medication she could take to compensate for her body not being able to provide the baby with everything it needs? She needed prenatal care and regular check-ups and scans and in order to pay for all that she needed a job as well. She sighed and curled up in a foetal position on the bed.

So many questions and no answers she thought to herself as she rearranged a pillow between her legs. God but she missed her bed. Her things. Her home….

Shepard sat up so suddenly that the pillow flew onto the floor.

Oh shit, oh shit!

Liara!

How the hell could I forget about her?

Shepard scrambled out of bed as fast as she could and reaching the communicator again she typed in a message to be sent to Liara T'soni, hoping it would get there on a secure and untraceable channel.

'Liara, I'm sorry I left. Things are complicated. I can't explain. Please don't look for me. Please… please tell Garrus that I'm sorry. I'm fine, really. I'll be in touch when I can. Shepard.' she hurriedly typed out and hit the send button. She moaned as she rubbed a hand down her face. This was getting so complicated; she just needed to get to Tuchanka.

The sooner they left Palaven the better.