I've been the worst person in the most awful way. BUT I'm back. I've been having a hard time finding time to write and and even harder time finding which direction I want to go. Having re-read everything, I decided I was going to take it in a different direction than I had originally intended. Uhm... let's disregard the '9 years later' business, it's much too long-- and let's say it's 3 years. ...I'll probably go back and edit later.
In other news, Happy Holidays, Spring, and anything else I've missed due to being an awful awful person.
Typical warnings, no smut this chapter, just flashbacks in italics and of course, boy love.
Enjoy!
Deidara watched helplessly as Sasori walked away after his admission, buckling his pants as he went. He wanted to call after the red head, but he couldn't figure out what to say. Knowing that Sasori wouldn't want his company he gathered up his clothing, redressed himself properly, and leaned against a tree adjacent from the one they'd used previously.
"Damn it." Deidara muttered to himself, "Damn it, hmm, damn it."
--
Deidara was lying with his head resting in Sasori's lap, contentedly watching clouds float past as the red head, in a rare moment of tenderness, stroked his hair. The blond, ever lacking tact, blurted, "Sometimes I feel like a pervert to be sexing up a guy who looks 14, yeah."
Deidara removed his gaze from the sky as he realized Sasori's fingers had ceased moving through his hair, to look up at the red head.
Sasori was regarding Deidara with a slightly annoyed tilt of the eyebrows as he replied, "Sometimes I feel like a pervert, because I'm giving it to a little boy half my age." He didn't look at Deidara as he said this, instead staring at a patch of grass next to him, unsure of what the blond's reaction would be.
"Danna, you're right, yeah. You're disgusting," Deidara smirked, settling himself further into Sasori's lap.
Unbeknownst to Deidara, whose gaze was upon the sky once more, Sasori let a small smile flit across his features as he remarked, "And sometimes I [just] wish you were dead."
Deidara didn't say anything, he just watched the swirls of clouds and the birds flying over-head, hoping Sasori was lying.
--
Deidara, not realizing he had fallen asleep, woke with a start when he felt the presence of someone standing over him. He immediately leapt to his feet, drawing a kunai.
"Relax, idiot." Sasori's cold voice cut through the silent night of the forest. "It's me."
Deidara's body relaxed slightly, the adrenaline still pumping through his system. "Ah, Sasori-danna, yeah…" he tried to sound calm, but the other man's presence was fueling his adrenaline.
"Did you…get enough sleep?" Sasori asked quietly, no longer looking at the shaking blond.
Deidara lowered the kunai, realizing how foolish he looked and tucked it away. "Y-yeah," he eyed Sasori, looking for a reaction.
Sasori gave him none and sat beneath the tree Deidara had so blatantly avoided. "We've got a couple hours until dawn breaks, we'll head out then." Sasori's voice was monotonic and void of any of the emotion it had held earlier that night. Deidara flinched at the deliberate coldness and settled himself in his previously vacated spot. The blond fell asleep once more, almost immediately.
Sasori, hearing the blond's deep, even breaths chanced a glance at his companion. The young man's hair cascaded over his shoulders, the moonlight reflecting brilliantly in its blond tint. Sasori couldn't help himself thinking that Deidara was indeed a beautiful person. As he replayed their fight in his head, he closed his eyes in regret and whispered, "I wish I was better at lying."
--
Sasori saw the minute flash of hurt cross the blond's features after he'd said it. He felt a pang of regret, but realized it was something he couldn't take back, it would always be there- in the back of the blond's memory.
In an attempt to make up for his previous statement, Sasori resumed the stroking of the blond's hair, watching the tension in the clay artist's face gradually slacken. Sasori watched as the blond fell into a light sleep, and when he was sure the other could no longer hear, he whispered, "I didn't mean it."
--
Sasori opened his eyes when he heard Deidara stirring, "Ready?" He asked, startling the blond.
Deidara had forgotten Sasori was there, and jumped at the other man's voice. He inwardly cursed himself for letting his guard down, even if it was just Sasori. "Let's go, yeah," Deidara grunted as he swept his hair back off his face to put his scope in place.
Sasori watched in silence as he waited for the blond, who was avoiding eye contact with him. Letting a huff of annoyance reverberate in the silence of the clearing, Sasori pulled the scroll containing Hiruko out of his pocket, summoned the puppet and climbed inside where he wouldn't have to worry about betraying more emotion to his partner.
As the pair left the clearing and headed toward the edge of the forest, Sasori watched Deidara's guarded movements. He realized that the blond was practically driving himself insane by not saying what was on his mind, and carefully controlling every movement he made. Sasori was sure that the bomber knew he was being scrutinized.
Sasori wanted to say something, but he couldn't work out how to explain himself. Finally, in a fit of irritation he decided that he didn't need to explain himself to the likes of Deidara, who in his opinion was acting like a child. Which, Sasori thought with a bit of mild disconcertion, he was.
Sasori watched the blond's hair flutter in the wind, revealing a gracefully arced, tanned neck. Sasori shook his head, Deidara was going to drive him crazy, he'd given in to the blond's persuasion and now there was nothing to be done. He was a goner. Sasori wished dearly that he could lie to himself about how he felt.
The red head, having become lost in his thoughts, all of which were focused on the clay artist, was jarred back to reality when Deidara growled, "Stop staring, yeah." Deidara had stopped ahead of him, and was looking back at him.
Sasori didn't say anything at first, too busy examining the look of embarrassed, annoyance on his partner's face.
"It's annoying, yeah." Deidara continued, as though Sasori was ignoring him.
"Sorry." Sasori grumbled, moving past the blond.
Deidara stared after Sasori, a look of confusion now present on his features. 'Sorry?' he thought, 'Sasori doesn't say sorry.' Deidara began to follow the puppeteer, silently contemplating his strange behavior.
--
After hours of walking, Deidara finally sat down declaring he wasn't going to walk any more until he'd had something to eat. Sasori stopped ahead, and muttered, "You're not going to get any food sitting there."
Deidara's lip curled as he simpered, "I can't budge, yeah, I'm exhausted."
Sasori continued once more, leaving Deidara behind, saying only, "Stubborn brat."
Deidara glared after Sasori and yelled, "Insensitive bastard!" The blond wondered vaguely if Sasori would end up waiting for him or if he'd leave him to catch up later. Deidara shook his head to himself, smiling wryly, Sasori hated waiting. "Good." He remarked quietly, "He can wait."
Deidara had long come to realize that by sitting down and refusing to go any further he had made a poor decision, but he was sticking to his principles. He said he wasn't moving, and he wasn't until he got some food.
By the time he had counted all the rocks and discerned them from all the pebbles in the area-twice- he had come to his second realization: Sasori was going to be very angry with him.
The blond flopped backward hopelessly, and wondered if he should just let himself die out here. He'd always imagined himself dying in a self-sacrificing blast of artistic symbolism, not starvation by stubborn stupidity.
Finally, after an internal struggle of principles and rationality, Deidara pulled his thoughts together and contemplated actually getting up and tracking down Sasori. As the blond was sitting up, he noticed that there was someone moving toward him. It was a familiar someone, and a someone who looked wholly cross at him.
"Sasori-danna?" Deidara asked, wondering if he was hallucinating due to famine.
Sasori, who had exited Hiruko for the journey back, glared at the blond and grunted, "You are the most stubborn brat I have ever met, do you know that?"
Deidara, however, wasn't paying attention to the red head's reply; his gaze was fixed on the takeaway boxes in Sasori's clenched fist. "You brought me food, yeah?" Deidara asked, surprise evident in his tone.
Sasori didn't reply, he continued to glare at the blond until he came to stand in front of him. The puppeteer thrust the boxes at the blond and muttered, "Eat and let's get going, brat."
Deidara took the boxes happily and tore into their contents. He looked up at Sasori, who was standing awkwardly over him and said through a mouthful of food, "Sasori-danna, you're the most wonderful person, yeah!"
Sasori's heart leapt in his chest, but he only said, "Shut up and eat."
So, uh, what'd you think? Reviews are awesome, seriously, they're self-validation. The kind you can't buy in a store on a sticker sheet.
Semester's neaRly over, which mEans I'm going to be trying excessiVey hard to get chapters to you on a regular basIs again, evEn if the Work kills me...