I Don't Hate You
Chapter 26: Including Life to Motherhood part 1
"I want to go back to work."
Addison jumped and accidentally applied mascara all over her eyelid. "Ah, you startled me," she said and looked at Meredith through the bathroom mirror.
Meredith was wearing her old college T-shirt, old and dirty sweatpants and her oily, messy hair was kept up by a sloppy pony tail.
Addison was getting ready for work, and Meredith was on mother's leave. They had stayed home together during the first week, but Addison was too important for SGH to take a longer leave.
"Meredith, it hasn't even been two weeks. Take a shower! Go out for a walk or something!"
"I'm a surgeon, not a mother," she pouted.
"Honey, you're both."
"I don't feel like a mother."
Addison stopped trying to save her makeup and put the cotton pad down on the sink. She faced Meredith and said "Would you like to go out tonight? We could go to your favorite restaurant... Hire a babysitter. Who do you think would be suited to babysit? We always have O'Malley, Yang or Mark..."
Meredith's eyes widened with horror and Addison was amused by the way she had succeeded to prove her point.
"See? You're a mother."
"I'm gonna go check on them," Meredith said and slipped out of the bathroom to probably wake up the sleeping babies just to make sure they were fine.
"Always let babies sleep when they do," Addison murmured to herself and picked up the mascara again for a retry. She knew Meredith wouldn't listen to her anyway.
She applied lipstick and looked at herself in the mirror. She had dark shadows under her eyes. Meredith didn't wake up easily during nighttime so Addison was usually the one to go check on the boys when they woke up crying.
A shrill cry pierced the calm of the house.
Addison pursed her lips.
She put down the lipstick and went to see how it was going for Meredith. She glanced at her wrist watch as she quickly stepped to the nursery. They had had the office remade and would have to discuss kicking out their roommates eventually, but that wasn't a conversation for now.
Meredith was cradling Timothy, trying to hush his crying.
Addison wrapped her arms around Meredith from behind her and gave her a kiss on her neck.
"I love you," she said.
"I love you too, have a nice day at work," Meredith said, slightly sadly.
"I'm sorry I can't stay here with you. When I get home we can list pros and cons with all the nannies we've got on our list."
"I'd like that. He stopped crying," Meredith said silently and smiled.
"Hey baby-boy," Addison said, making a squeaky voice. She had eye contact with Tim for a moment, then the lamp in the ceiling became more interesting than his mothers.
Addison let go of Meredith so she could put him back in the crib.
They left the nursery and in the hallway Addison turned to her fiancee.
"You know what we also can do tonight," she said suggestively.
Meredith stared at the floor. "I don't know... We'll see..."
"Come on Meredith. Your body has changed and it's all natural. You're still beautiful."
"I just don't feel comfortable with you going down on me right now."
Addison sighed. "How can I convince you to feel sexy again?"
"You can't. Give me some time, you weren't the one squeezing out two humans."
"I know," Addison pouted.
"I can help you get off if you want."
"That's not what it's about," Addison frowned. "I want to make love to you. I need to make love to you, Meredith. It has been too long."
"Go to work," Meredith just said and kissed her cheek.
Addison felt like pressing Meredith up against the wall and do things that she knew she couldn't resist. But the timing was wrong – she was already late – and Meredith didn't seem so up for it.
By the doorway she almost ran into Cristina who dropped by.
"Hey, I'm just gonna give Meredith some material to study."
"Great," Addison smiled.
"What's wrong?" Cristina frowned at her.
"What?"
"You look weird."
Addison rolled her eyes at her. "Go talk to Meredith about it. You're her friend."
"Fine. Beat it," Cristina said and ran passed her up the stairs to talk to Meredith.
~GA~
At work she got to know that Derek was guesting the hospital to perform a particularly complicated surgery that had come up. He had gone to SGH in a helicopter. It made her immediately think of Meredith again and how much she wanted to be at the hospital.
Addison was going to avoid Derek by all possible means. He had cut them off completely. He probably felt humiliated by not being the father of the babies.
Karev informed her about her cases and what he had already accomplished during the morning. After all, the clock was almost half passed nine and he had been working since five.
She wondered if he got laid.
She seriously needed to get laid. Meredith needed to get her things together and just make orgasms happen again.
All her patients seemed to get laid. But they all hadn't given birth yet, except one, but her newborn had suffered from asphyxia and was still in the intensive care. She didn't think their parents were thinking about doing it when they nearly lost their child.
She definitely should stop thinking about her personal life while filling out forms. Not a good blend.
"Addison, hey."
"Hi," Addison said and looked at Callie, quite grateful that she had saved her from her own brain.
"I have to tell you something," she said and tried to push down a smile from spreading all over her face.
Addison closed the file folder and took off her glasses and focused at Callie.
"I joined the club!" she burst out.
"What club?" Addison frowned, going through a mental list of all Callie's hobbies. "Chess? Karate?"
"No!" Callie said and then leaned closer to Addison's ear. "The lesbian club," she whispered.
"Oh. Oh! Callie!" Addison gasped, the message going through in three phases.
"I know. Who knew!"
"I don't know what to ask first... Who is she?"
"It's Erica Hahn," Callie said and held her breath.
Addison stared at her. Picturing Callie and that stuck up heart surgeon wasn't possible.
"How did that happen?" Addison said, disguising her negative thoughts by mimicking Callie's excitement.
"Uhm... Where to start? You know I've been sleeping with Mark, right?"
Addison's smile faded, but not all together. "No... You haven't?"
"Oh, shoot," Callie said, making a horrified face. "Sorry!"
"So..."
"Mark and I... It has only been about the sex, nothing else. Friends with benefits, you know."
"Right."
"Oh, god I hope I didn't..."
"Make me jealous? No, not at all Callie. I just thought you would tell me something like that," Addison said. "But then again, I don't think I really wanted to know. Let's just forget about it. Tell me about Hahn instead!"
"Okay," Callie said and began shining with happiness again. "Actually it's pretty much thanks to Mark. He made me realize I had feelings for her. I was thinking that we were just friends, we've been hanging out for a while, but Mark told me what he saw and I finally had to admit that he had a point. Especially since last nigh... We kissed. I kissed her, and she kissed me back."
"I haven't even noticed that you started hanging out," Addison frowned.
"You were probably busy with having the twins," Callie pointed out, lifting an eyebrow at her. "Speaking about the..." she then smiled and nodded toward someone behind Addison.
She turned around and saw Mark appearing.
"Oh, there you are," he said, looking revealed. "Have you seen Derek yet?"
"No, isn't he just operating then getting out of here?"
"It's taking time, so he'll probably spend the night either at the hospital or in town... It's also possible that he will be needed for post-op."
Addison groaned.
"You should probably avoid him," Mark told her.
"Like I didn't know that," she hissed and then groaned again, but louder this time. "Why can't they just find another neurosurgeon?"
Mark shrugged. "Life's a bitch."
"Have you met him?" Callie asked.
"I saw him, and if looks could kill..."
Addison sighed. "He's always so... so...," she searched for a suiting word for it, "rancorous."
Callie and Mark both nodded thoughtfully.
"Do you guys wanna go out to Joe's tonight?" Callie suddenly asked.
"Sure," Mark said. "I'm off at seven."
"Uhm, I don't know," Addison said, thinking about whether she should be home with Meredith or spend time with her friends.
"Oh come on, Addie. You could use a break from motherhood."
She glared at him.
"I'm joking!" he said but his laugh was slightly strained.
"I'll ask Meredith. Maybe she wants to come with, if we can find a babysitter we can trust..."
"All they do is sleep and eat, how hard can it be?" Callie asked and shrugged.
"At least I know now who I won't ask," Addison said, making big eyes at Callie who laughed.
Her eyes grew bigger when she saw a man with perfect dark hair exiting the elevator that pinged open behind her friends.
"Shit!" Addison whispered and Mark and Callie turned around.
"Uh oh," Mark breathed.
"It's too late to hide you guys in a closet right?" Callie said.
In that moment Derek looked up and saw the three staring at him. He didn't look happy.
"Hi Derek!" Callie called out over happily.
A hot and cold shrill traveled through Addison's spine. She exchanged a hard gaze with Mark and they both turned to Callie, gritting their teeth.
"What are you doing?" Addison hissed. "Now he has to come over here!"
"I'm sorry, I just couldn't control it. It just slipped out," she told them quickly.
Derek came over to them.
"Hello," he said.
"Hi," the three of them answered at once.
Mark cleared his throat.
Addison scraped at the floor with the bottom of her shoe.
"Well, I need to, uhm..," Addison said, stroking a strand of hair that had slipped out of the neat bun she had on the top of her head.
She avoided eye-contact and took the file folder with her as she began walking toward the other direction Derek had come from.
"Yeah, I also have to, uhm..."
~GA~
When Addison had a break in her schedule she checked her phone and noticed that Meredith had called earlier. She called her back.
"Hey babe," Meredith answered joyfully.
"Hi honey. What's up?"
"Taking a walk. Any news from the hospital?"
Addison , trying to remember what gossip Meredith had or hadn't heard.
"Oh right! Soo... Guess who Callie's dating."
"Oh God, not Mark right?" Meredith gasped.
"No, no. I'll give you a hint. The one she's dating is more of the amusing kind than the horrifying kind."
"What. That didn't give me anything to go on."
"Just guess," Addison sighed.
"O'Malley?"
"No."
"Alex Karev?"
Addison just laughed.
"The Chief?"
"Ew, no!"
"How far off am I? You have to give me another lead."
"Think... Cardio."
"Is it Burke? How could that be amusing?" Meredith almost shrieked in Addison's ear. "Is he cheating on Cristina?"
"Honey. Calm down. What other Cardio-god do you know of?"
"That old guy... What's-his-name... But I wouldn't call him a God."
Addison waited for Meredith to come to the right conclusion.
"It couldn't be... Is it... Dr Hahn?" Meredith pronounced the last words in a mixture of a whisper and a wheeze as if she lost all the air in her lungs.
"Yes."
"No way!"
"Yes way."
"I can't believe it! Have they... Have they done it yet?"
"Is that the first thing you come to think of? I don't know, I don't think so if I know Callie right."
"Oh, I remember our first time. And our first kiss," Meredith sighed longingly.
"Ehm, actually," Addison cleared her throat, "I don't think you remember our first kiss."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Meredith frowned at her.
"I kissed you when you were on morphine," Addison confessed, blushing.
Meredith laughed. "And you tell me this now? How did it even happen? What did I say or do to make you kiss me?"
Addison felt relieved. "I'm sorry for, I guess, stealing our first kiss. I was just so confused at the time and happy that Derek hadn't knocked you up while cheating on me."
"Why would you think I was pregnant?"
"Well, with the puking and one of your friends suggested it."
"So... What did I say to make you kiss me?"
"You told me that I was hot, sexy and classy, among other things."
Meredith laughed again, but louder this time. "It's true though."
"We mostly talked about the Derek situation," Addison said before she asked. "You actually wanted help with choosing between Derek and our veterinarian."
"Oh. Yeah, I've tried to forget about that time," Meredith mumbled.
"Yeah... But at least we found each other during that time."
"Yeah."
"Anyway, Callie and Mark asked if we wanted to go out to Joe's tonight around seven or eight. I know you can't drink yet but I thought I could be sober with you and we'll just have a good time. We could hire a babysitter."
Meredith sighed through the phone. "Yeah, like who? Addison, we don't know anyone trustworthy enough in Seattle."
"Sure we do... I'm sure Richard and Adele would do it."
"Richard is probably still pissed off at you. He basically fired you. Burke holds a grudge against you since that ruined his chances of getting the job as Chief, and it's even worse now when Hahn has started working here. I guess some of my friends would be okay babysitters, but the thing is that they want to have a life on a Friday night."
"Oh Meredith. Let's try to find someone at least. I bet Bailey would help out, if she isn't working."
"Hm, I'll think about it," Meredith grunted. "I'll ask around and then I'll text you. But you should ask Bailey, I don't really feel like I have the position to do that."
"Okay, will do. I love you, Meredith. Kiss our boys for me."
"I will. Love you too, bye."
~GA~
From Meredith (05:54 PM):
Add, I can't find a babysitter. Plus I think Tim feels a bit warm so I would like to stay here with them. You have fun, just don't be out out late.
From Meredith (6:58 PM)
Where are you? Aren't you gonna come home before going out?
Addison saw the texts just before 7:30 when she had finished an emergency surgery. She called her up.
"Hi Addie, where are you?"
"I'm at the hospital. There was a complication-"
"As always," Meredith interrupted. "So did you get my texts?"
"Yes I did. Saw them now. How is Timothy?"
"Oh he's a bit warm. Probably nothing to worry about but I still want to keep an eye on him. And before you ask, I did call Bailey after all, she's on-call, and all my friends are going out too, but to a club so it's not even Joe's. Maybe George is going to stay home and if the kids are calm maybe, if I'm not too tired, I'll might join you."
"A lot of maybes Mer. Okay, but are you sure you're okay with me going out? Mark said he'd get off now so I thought I'd go directly there."
"You do that."
"Okay, good. What are the boys doing now? I miss them so much."
"They are on that blue blanket on the floor. Tim is chewing and drooling all over the book about that duck, you know. And Chris is watching the mobile. He looks very concentrated. I think he's going to be a scientist."
"Or a surgeon."
A shrill cry was heard through the end of the phone.
"Or maybe not," Addison concluded.
"Okay, I have to go," Meredith said, her voice slightly rushed.
"See you at home, or at Joe's," Addison said. "I love you."