CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE: DREAMS AND REALITY

Warren

By going back home, I knew what was about to happen – Dad would be pestering me again, telling me how much the Cure would improve my lifestyle. I didn't need his shit as I'd already got enough to worry about with Amy. I still wanted her to come and move in with me permanently now. If she was in a different country, thousands of miles away again, I didn't know if I could cope on my own. Whether I had that Cure or not, I knew one thing and that was that I needed her. Amy was my rock, my shoulder to cry on and now the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. How could I live on my own without her? I'd already lived half of my life as a recluse, but I never even knew she existed.

While I was sat on the plane flying back to San Francisco, I watched Amy sleep for part of the journey. My own random thoughts drifted around my head as I rested my head next to hers. What really were the chances of me meeting her the way I did?

The flight wasn't anywhere near as bad as the last one I had to endure. Here, in First Class, were only a few random people including me, Amy, a couple of guys in business suits and a small group of middle aged women. Thankfully, no kids.

Amy remained asleep for a couple of hours at least, leaving me wide awake and bored out of my goddamn skull. I didn't know whether to try and also go to sleep or maybe kindly steal her iPod and see what she had on it and see if there was anything I liked. By the time I'd finally decided on the iPod option, Amy began to move, yawning and moaning as she finally woke up. She snuggled up a little closer to me and then took my hand in hers, lacing our fingers together idly. "Sleep well?" I asked, kissing her head.

"Yeah, not too bad. Had a weird dream about being chased by a tiger though through the jungle," she said absently. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Being a chased by a tiger? That was a new one. Dreams have always been a personal subject to many people, and quite honestly, some of mine scared the shit out of me but I never had the guts really to tell anyone about them. Recently, I'd been having more and more nightmares about falling; I'd be high up above the buildings, keeping straight and just hovering, and then suddenly I'd feel my wings give way. With the whole 'Cure' thing coming up and always lingering on the back of my mind, I was pretty sure that was the driving force behind the nightmares. I didn't have to be a psychologist to be able to analyse that one.

"You okay?" Amy suddenly asked, her quiet voice infiltrating through my thoughts.

"Yeah. It's just you say about dreams and I've been having weird ones lately...about falling." Then I stopped, feeling stupid and lame as I normally did when I'd finally got up the guts to talk to Amy about something incredibly personal. I knew that she was the only one who'd ever understand, and she was the only one who actually took time to understand. Dad was usually too busy or was trying to persuade me to go his way.

"That's not really weird, Warren, considering what you can do which no one else can. I think deep down you're scared of not being able to fly anymore and it's playing on your subconscious. It's the only way that thought can come to life – you falling. I've had dreams of falling, too, so it's not really that uncommon. I suppose it's just not that common for someone who can fly to dream of it." With that she smiled at me and tightened her grip on my hand. "You try to analyse your thoughts too much. A lot of the time people can't explain why we dream the things we do. I've even gone to bed and dreamed of something I'd never even consider when I'm awake. Minds are very strange things."

"Have you ever dreamed of me?" I asked, winking.

I could see Amy blushing. "Yeah, why?"

"Just curious. I dreamed about you a couple of times when you left but even though I knew it was you, your face was always slightly blurred. It was like you were behind frosted glass or something."

"Better place to put my face in all honesty, sweet," Amy laughed. I couldn't help but let my expression fall straight. I was completely unimpressed by that comment, and I let it show.

"Stop putting yourself down," I said sternly. "I'm sick of hearing it."

"It was a joke!"

"No, it wasn't. You'll try any way to get in little gags like that and I don't like it. You always try and help me to accept myself, why can't you accept who you are?"

"Can we not keep discussing this? I'm sick of arguing about it."

"Then stop keep saying these things about yourself and we won't have to argue."

Amy started to smile. "If we're not the most unusual pairing ever, I don't know who is. We don't actually argue over proper things but we wind up arguing about things that make us so similar." Then she leaned in to me and whispered in my ear. "As for my dreams about you, I can tell you that they were very pleasurable." God! Those words sent shivers racing down my back and suddenly my wings twitched and all the sensations then seemed to bundle together and gather in my groin.

"You do realise you're being a very bad girl for saying things like that?" I whispered back. Her lips were mere centimetres from my own and I was dying to feel them against mine.

"Maybe once we're at yours, you can take me into your bedroom and punish me for being so naughty?" Then she laughed loudly. Her cheeks were bright red with amusement but also embarrassment. "You bring out a side in me I never even knew I had." As I kept my eyes locked on her, I knew that I felt exactly the same.

xxxx

The jet lag was a bastard and all of that afternoon while I trailed our suitcases up to my penthouse and then checked the place was alright and secure, I could feel myself yawning. I felt as if I were about to collapse there and then in the middle of my living room. Amy had since curled up on my couch and was dozing off to sleep again. Slowly I began shedding my shirt and then the straps. My tendons and muscles were wrenched tightly inside the confinement of my clothing. I groaned loudly as my wings were able to spring free, and I got onto the couch beside Amy, pulling her closer to me. After a short while of letting my gaze move from place to place around the room, I drifted off to sleep.

The first couple of days back home went smoothly; me and Amy went out shopping, went for a drive in the car the day after that, going anywhere and everywhere, but it was the third day when the calls from Dad started. I instantly knew, sensed, what he wanted. The first few calls I just ignored on my cell, hiding the evidence away in my pocket. The date was looming closer – it was in about six days when I'd be due to go in for the 'Cure'. All shipments had been sent; now it was just waiting for the news to start broadcasting, and then hospitals and medical centres could begin their anti-mutant crusade.

I'd always known that Dad was right – I would be having a better life. I'd be able to be myself, socialise and fit in. But did I really want that? Did I really want to be 'like everyone else'? Every day was a struggle to hide my wings away like a dirty secret, as though they didn't exist.

On Tuesday, around midday, a loud knock came to my door. Amy was using my computer in my bedroom, checking her e-mails. I very rarely had visitors so who the hell could it be?

Oh fuck! It was Dad. I looked through my peep hole to see him standing there in the hallway with his arms folded tightly across his chest. Sighing I pulled the lock across on my door, silently bracing myself for what he had to say.

"Hi, Dad," I said, my tone void of any kind of emotion or interest.

"Let me guess...she's here?" he said suddenly.

"She who?" I snapped. "She has a damn name, Dad! Been spying on me now?"

"I wasn't born yesterday, son," he retorted. "You're living in a dream world with this girl! I can never get hold of you and don't lie and tell me you're not having second thoughts about the Cure? I put all my money into this for you and you can't even..." He trailed off, obviously incredibly pissed off. "Look, I hate arguing with you, Warren, but this is getting ridiculous now."

"How is it getting ridiculous? Just because I happened to grow a back bone and finally stand up for myself?"

"If this is going to be a problem, I'll go," I heard suddenly. There standing next to my couch was Amy; she had her hands clasped together. Her face was tinged with red – she'd obviously heard everything Dad had said.

"You're going nowhere!" I demanded. I watched as Dad looked at Amy as if studying her suitability for me. He'd always been like that with women. At parties he'd nudge me, whispering who seemed the best option for me out of the female guests. Dad's gaze then shifted back to me and I stared at him angrily. How dare he judge Amy! I could tell from the look on his face that he didn't know what to say and it was all because Amy was standing right in front of him. "If you've got anything to say to me, Dad, you can say it in front of Amy, too."

"Warren, it's okay. I'll go out and come back or something," she proposed again.

"No, Aim. If anyone leaves, it's Dad."

"Alright, you want me to be honest in front of your girlfriend, then I will be. I think you're being stupid by pushing a normal life aside for a dream. You're adamant that your life will be wonderful now that she's in it, but it won't be, Warren. You'll never live a normal life while you're like this. You'll never truly be free, and you know that!"

I looked at Amy and in that moment I could have broken down again – she was the strength inside me. She'd helped me come this far and finally stand up for myself, but as usual, Dad's tactics were making me indecisive. "At the end of the day, this is your choice. Not ours," she said finally. I could feel the hot and bitter tears beginning to stream down my face. My legs felt as if they were about to buckle beneath me and could no longer keep my weight.

"Oh God..." I groaned, stepping backwards. "I don't know what the hell to do."

"Yes, you do," Dad said softly. "It'll be better for you, Warren, and you know that."

"With all due respect, Mr. Worthington," Amy began. "This is his choice. Not ours." Her voice had grown strong again, and it helped me find the motivation inside me to stand up tall and look Dad in the eyes. I think he'd been taken back by Amy's attitude. Not many people stood up to him and told him their true opinion. Even though Dad had never been an outwardly arrogant or demanding man, people still knew where their place was when in his presence. The only woman who had ever stood up to him like that was Mom. But she'd always been his weakness. She was literally the love of his life like Amy was mine.

"I appreciate if that you respect his opinion, but this is something which will always hinder Warren and we all know that. If he stays like this for the rest of his life he'll never have many people in his life who truly appreciate him, and he'll run the risk of raising children who will also be affected," Dad said. I was half expecting Amy to completely blow up in his face at his last comment, but she remained composed.

"Why are you so scared of Warren choosing his own way in life? I'd rather him make his own decision and if it means we might run the risk of having children who are mutants, then so be it. I'm aware of the risk and it's one I'm prepared to take because I love him."

"He's right, Aim," I said softly. I looked into her green eyes, knowing she'd never truly understand how much I loved her. "Would you really want kids who are like me and get ridiculed and rejected all through their lives? They'd have to hide away and be scared..." I felt my gut wrenching so fucking hard that I almost vomited.

"How can you agree with this, Warren?" Amy asked me, almost demanding an answer. Her eyes were wide, full of questions and anger. "I can't believe you're being sucked into this shit. I wouldn't care if our children were mutants..."

"What about what I want, Aim?" I asked. She was so ready to accept me and accept that we may have children with mutations, but she didn't see how I felt about it. I'd never want to see any child have to live the way I had, least of all my own children!

Amy's anger which was swimming aggressively in her eyes seemed to dissipate. "Okay then. I respect that, Warren. We don't need to talk this over. It's between you and your dad. I'll go out for a bit, and leave you two." I knew I couldn't stop her going – she'd do what she wanted either way. I just nodded my head and watched her disappear back into my bedroom.

I sat down with Dad in the living room once Amy had left and I'd given her a kiss and told her to be careful. She didn't know San Francisco so her going out on her own wasn't the most comforting of thoughts. But she was stubborn and would go out anyway, unless I tied her up.

"Warren," Dad began. "I don't want you to come to resent me, but you know that this is for the best, for not only for you, but for your girlfriend. She says that she accepts you, but does she truly? If you did have children and they were mutants, how would she react to that? She's not in that situation yet, and you really don't know how she'd react to it. Granted, she seems like a lovely girl and wants to stand by you, but think it all through before you jump in with two feet. Maybe I was wrong to say you were living in a dream world. I was like it when I met your mother; for years it felt like I was the luckiest man in the world and I truly idolised her. At first she was intimidated by me because of who your grandfather was, and by then the company was really striving."

"That's a problem I have with Amy," I said, turning away and looking out my window. "She feels inferior and intimidated by me, and even thinks I'm too beautiful because of my wings. She doesn't see the beauty that's inside her. Through the years, she's the only one who's truly accepted me and tried to understand me. She tries to understand what I'm going through, and sometimes she can even empathise with me as she was cheated on by her last boyfriend."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Dad said, seeming genuinely sorry for Amy's past misfortunes. "You both have a lot to learn and gain from one another."

"That's why I don't feel I need to change anymore. I've got what I always needed in my life and I don't care if she's the only person I ever meet who feels this way – it's enough for me."

"But is it? You'll still be very isolated and cut off. She'll be the only link you have to normalcy. It's easy to limit yourself and cut people off when you're in love. Believe me, I know. I was like it with your mother; it constantly felt like I was in a dream. But when I began spending more and more time with her, my friends backed away, showing me that I still lived in reality not a dream. I just want to see you happy and getting the best out of life. I saw you through school lose friends because of this, and it's hurt me more and more every day as you've grown into a young man. This Cure is primarily for you, but it's my way of helping people getting the normal life they need. By staying like this, you're also impacting on your future with Amy."

Once Dad had drilled it into me once again that I was going to be living a better life by taking the Cure, he said his farewells and left, promising to call me with a definite time for my appointment. This whole situation had become an almighty fuck up. On one hand I had a life where I could be free, be myself, but I was abandoning what I truly am. Then on the other hand, I could stay as I am but remain a recluse and be scared to put my trust in anyone outside of my incredibly small circle which just consisted of Dad, Reggie, Debbie and of course, Amy.

I rang Amy and agreed to meet her as she was presently seated in a Starbucks just down the street. I pulled my straps on tightly, groaning loudly but growing all the more frustrated. I cried, unable to keep the sheer anger and frustration in and threw the godforsaken fucking things across the room as I tore them from around myself.

I desperately needed to decide whether to carry on living my dream or finally wake up and face the real world.