25. Hanging

It was 3 a.m. when it first happened, and I swore it was from lack of sleep. It had to have been, I wasn't going mad! I'd been sleep deprived for months, and for the past 5 days I'd had none. My muscles ached, and I was getting extremely thin despite the colossal amounts of food I was forcing down my throat.

I couldn't bring myself to sleep, and with the thru, of energy pounding through my veins I literally couldn't sit still. My smooth strutting walk was starting to become more whippy, faster and harder. My performances had barely any holds, just continuous movement and spinning. My dancing become more vibrating, but it wasn't a bad thing, it was now kind of like Shakira. My ... other stuff was being affected too, but the men didn't seem to mind. My kisses were rougher, my grinding harder, and I found my teeth grazing on their necks, biting their lower lips.

I was just about to start on another client when it happened.

My heart raced, my eyes widened behind the silk, and I turned to the door. My father, the police officer was in the doorway, shoulders tense and heaving with each growling breath. He leant down to one knee and lifted his rifle, aiming right over my shoulder. I turned to see my bronze-haired vampire behind, his face frightened.

"No," I called. Everyone in the casino turned to me. I ignored them and looked back to my father.

I didn't find him though, all I found was a young-looking teenage boy. Eyes went from me to him, and he shifted under the gaze of the crowd. "What?" he yelled. "I'm legal." He slunk off to a dark corner, and our bouncer went over to him.

I ignored the kid as he was trying to talk his way out of it. I tried to keep my mind on the task at hand, the man under me. My mind kept drifting though, and for the first time in a while, I imagined it was Edward I was hovering over.

Naturally, I got a big tip from the guy and an oh-so-subtle hint when he slipped his number in my bra strap. I ripped the paper as soon as I turned away.

My mind and body was panicked from what I saw, and it was made worse when I did my silks routine.

In the corner I saw a familiar face watching, and frightening face; Logan. He was grinning, almost snarling, and watching earnestly. Beside him, on the chair opposite, Edward sat, watching in a bored acceptance, his gold eyes following me.

I knew he wasn't there, of course he wasn't, but I found myself still trying to impress him, working harder, holding more provocative poses.

When I finished my act, I bowed extremely low as usual. When I straightened up I saw the two hallucinations disappear to reveal Todd, sitting by himself, his eyes burning from the back onto me. I suppressed a shiver at the emotion in his face, looking anywhere but where my instincts told me too.

The rest of the night, well, it wasn't uneventful. I saw more than what was there. Edward was always in my peripheral vision, wavering in and out of existence as I moved. I caught only glimpses, and that hurt.

Morning came too quickly, and my income sources were soon walking out the door in to the dull sunrise. I was about to leave behind them when Todd caught my arm. He didn't apply force, but his hand stopped my motion. I turned to him, brow furrowed. "Yes," I said.

"Lex, do you need somewhere to sleep this morning?" His question confused me, wouldn't he have asked the first night, not the fifth. His eyes answered for me, they were lustful and burning with all the strength of last night. A vision of Logan stepped from behind him, smiling. His hand stroked my arm and I pulled, pulling away from Todd at the same time.

I smiled apologetically. "Yeah, I do, but thanks for the offer anyway." I quickly skipped out of the building, my muscles pent up from even that small time of being not used. I almost ran to the casino, glad of its 24 hour days.

I wasn't glad it was open later on. That day I was feeling particularly lucky, thinking that with each loss a huge win was on the way. My brain nagged at me, telling me it wasn't to come. I wasn't listening to sense though; I was listening to my chest, that beast that was telling me the more money I put on the table the more I would win.

My luck had been cut, and when my fortune had dropped from 8936 to 1214 I knew I had to stop. My brain won that last battle, but it hadn't won the war.

I slinked off to work, my spirits 50 feet underground. The only thing running me was that determination to get my money back, even if I had to earn it.