SHADI: *Out of the corner of his mouth* Read and Review?

T: *Mouth full of pizza* Wha?

SHADI: *Whispering* Tell them to Read and Review!

T: ... Right! Yes, okay, sorry. Read and Review and... Disclaimers, don't own... Yeah.

SHADI: Smooth.

Chapter 26

LOVE IS IN THE AIR! DEPENDING ON WHAT YOU CONSIDER THAT TO BE...

"Does everyone know what today is?"

"Bull run?" Leia asked.

"What- no!" Elton exclaimed.

"If you moo, I will kill you." Bakura hissed to his Yami, who licked his finger and pretended to poke Bakura.

"Hiss! Whoa, still hot, are we?"

Yugi snickered.

"I meant in the angry way!" He exclaimed.

Elton sighed. "Today's Valentine's day!"

Elrond, who had been calmly reading his newspaper, bolted up from his seat and tore up the stairs as fast as a three thousand year old elf could.

Elton snickered evilly, rubbing his hands together.

"Yes, run for now. But you will be mine!" He cackled.

"Valentine's day, eh?" Yami Bakura said. "Perhaps I could use this so called day to apologize to Ryou." He grabbed his coat and headed out the door.

"Where's he going?"

"Do we care?" Han smirked.

"Now, Han! That isn't what friends say to each other!" Tea scolded.

"Dear Ra, no!" Yami Yugi growled, flicking the pages of his newspaper together.

"He's not my friend." Han retorted.

"Well... Uh... Er..." Tea stammered. "I'll be back!"

She ran up the stairs, and they heard a door slam.

"She can write one of those friendship speeches pretty quick, so I suggest you go somewhere." Leia warned.

Han didn't need to be told twice.

"Alright, who's the joker!" Gandalf roared, coming into the room holding an apple pie. "To Gandalf," Yugi read. "May this Valentine's day bring you many sloppy, dirty, bakery fresh memories."

Yugi giggled like a schoolgirl, falling down onto his Yami who scowled.

"Gandalf, I'm trying to maintain Yugi's innocence." He said sternly.

"It's not my fault!" He protested. "Who wrote it!"

Cartmen laughed hysterically.

"Go on, fuck it! Spank that pie!" He said, air-thrusting and doing the 'Spank it' dance move made famous by Foxxy Cleopatra in Goldmember.

Gandalf let out a great roar, and proceeded to chase Cartmen around the house, yelling: "I DO THAT ONCE AND YOU KEEP BRINGING IT UP!"

"What did that pie bring up for you, pointy hat."

"WHY YOU LITTLE!"

The houshare winced at each crash before they sighed and returned back to what they were doing.

Elton hummed to himself, lighting candles and pouring wine. This would be a valentine's Elrond would never forget!

"Perfect." Yami Bakura said with a grin. "Ryou's going to like me for this."

In the bag under his jacket was an Australian crocodile, but little did Yami know that this was of the breed that grew terribly quickly.

Rushing up the stairs and dodging an urn sent flying by Gandalf, Yami ducked into the bathroom, filling the bathtub with water and dumping the croc in. "Stay in here, or I'll make you into boots!" He hissed at it, grinning as he bounded from the room.

The croc's beady little eyes shifted, and it crawled out of the bathtub and into the toilet, nothing but it's shining evil eyes showing in the pipe.

Unfortunately, Yami Bakura had forgotten to lock the door, also forgetting about the croc. After dinner, Han went into the washroom to wash the rib sauce from his hands. The smell drew the crocodile, which had tripled in size, out of the pipe.

Han accidentally knocked over the toothbrush holder, which clattered to the ground. He bent to pick it up, and the crocodile lunged. Han gave an ear-shattering cry.

"Needs more fibre, yes." Yoda said wisely, going back to his Yoga.

Meanwhile, Elrond was having a terrible time shaking Elton off. He was now holding a chair as a weapon, an expression of utmost fear on his face.

"Oh, one kiss! One kiss is all I ask!" Elton whined, and Elrond swung at him. Elton grinned as the chair whooshed by his head. "Missed! Missed again! Come on, bring it!" Elrond, getting more and more irritated, swung again and again, finally meeting his mark.

Elton rubbed his cheek, the smile never fading. He grabbed the chair and threw it aside. "Cheeky little devil!"

Elrond's face paled, becoming paler then chalk as he was backed into a corner.

Elton kissed him forcefully.

Suddenly, a blinding flash of light caught Elrond's eye, and he, grateful for the distraction, pulled away. Cartmen was standing in the doorway with a camera, laughing hysterically.

"Gettin' some, clammy?"

"Give me that!" He roared, lunging at the obese child, before a fearsome cry stopped him in his tracks.

"IT BIT ME IN THE ASS! HOLY MOTHER OF-"

They cringed at the amount of profanity which followed, running towards the unrepeatable sound.

"Oops." Yami Bakura muttered, although he was quite amused.

"You did this?" Han roared trying to tackle him, wincing and rubbing his backside.

" Yet another thing that Yami puts in the toilet." Tea sighed.

"Yes! I win the bet! Cough it up!" Leia laughed. "It's a reptile!"

"It wasn't supposed to be in the- You're betting on me?" Yami Bakura exclaimed. "Well, then where was it supposed to be?" Han hissed, glaring.

"In the tub! It's a gift for Ryou!" He hissed back.

"For me?" Bakura said in contented disbelief.

Yami bakura nodded, blushing.

"Aww! Thank you!" He hugged him.

Cartmen snapped a picture, laughing. "Fudge packer!"

"That's a crude term!" Gandalf hissed, hitting him with his staff. "And they're not." He added, seeing the murderous glare that the tomb robber gave him.

"What's going on?" Elrond demanded.

"Yami bought an alligator and it got stuck in the john." Han said, taking a deep breath before yelling. "And it bit me in the ass!"

"Hey, it's not a gator, mate, it's a croc. There's a difference, although not many people can see it." A tanned, Australian man with blond hair and khaki shorts pushed through.

"Steve Irwin?" Legolas exclaimed.

"That's right mate, I'm here to help!" He said, clicking his tongue. "Now, everybody out, I'm going to need lots of room."

They did as they were told, and he snuck up to the croc.

"Oh, you're a beaut!" He crooned. The croc snapped at his hand. "Don't get nasty, boy, I'm here to help you."

He picked up the plunger, fending it off.

Everyone held their breath. Steve lunged, pulling the croc from the toilet and wrestling it to the ground. The battle raged, but Steve emerged victorious, after tying it's jaw shut with the extension cord.

"Here's the problem with keeping a croc as a pet." Steve said, panting. "They get much too large, and people try to flush 'em. Especially these crocs, and I was wrong. She's a Shelia, the Sheila's get much bigger then the fellas." He picked up the great beast and walked out of the room. "I'm going to have to take her, the boys at the reserve will want to have a dekko at her. G'day mates!"

"G'day!" They replied in unison, not bothering to figure out how he had shown up so quickly.

"Well, I'm sorry about that, Ryou."

"Thought that counts." He replied with a grin. "And Han?"

"Yes?" He said bitterly, through clenched teeth.

"It's a good thing you were carrying that adult magazine in your back pocket, or it might had been much worse."

Han blushed, cursing him, and everyone wrinkled their noses, laughing.

"Now that's not what friends say!"

Everyone groaned as Tea ranted for a good ten minutes. Elton John finally had enough, and took off his heeled dress shoe and hit her in the back of the head.

"That's the end of that." He sighed, happily dusting off his hands.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/\\\\

T: R.I.P Steve. We miss you.

SHADI: Actually, he's technically not dead.

T: All hail the almighty Time Bubble!

Pumping her fists in the air and freakout dancing around the room, T knocks over the pizza. The mess of sauce, stringy cheese and pepperoni spells out 'Read and Review' and 'It Comes Time Again To Say Goodbye!'