PLEASE NOTE: I AM NOT THE AUTHOR OF THIS FANFIC. ALL RIGHTS GO TO mental OF HARRYPOTTERFANFICTION. This story was removed from hpff, so I reposted here so that fans could have access to it. I am not mental. From this point on, all content belongs solely to mental.

Chapter 26: Kiss and Tell

'I'm not wearing that,' Ze said flatly.

'Oh come on, it'd look so nice,' Serena wheedled.

'No,' Ze said, crossing her arms over her chest mulishly. 'Nothing doing. I'm wearing the gray jumper and jeans and my woolly hat.'

Even Dorcas grimaced. 'It's just, well…a bit plain,' Lily lamented, staring down at the ensemble laid out on Ze's bed.

'I'm plain,' Ze shrugged, not minding at all. 'Not in a bad way,' she added when the others opened their mouths to berate her. 'I'm just…simple. I don't like fancy things, and I don't feel comfortable wearing them.' This was, she felt, an excellent way of dealing with the situation. She had discovered, over the past several hours, that while it was expected for a girl to be self-deprecating, the purpose was not to air one's fears, but to gain reassurances on one's perfection. The moment you mentioned a shortcoming, everyone immediately rushed to assure you that there was absolutely nothing wrong. All the unconditional support was very touching, Ze felt, but it made you damn wary of how you phrased things.

'Okay, that's what she's wearing,' Serena said, surprising them all by not arguing. 'Now, I'm thinking a tiny bit of powder, a kiss of blush, and some lip gloss.' Ze's eyes darted furtively about, and she licked her lips. 'You've the option of arguing out of the powder and the blush,' Serena told her, eyes glinting with steel, 'but you're wearing the lip gloss.'

Ze examined this from all angles, and nodded. 'Okay, lip gloss. I can do that. Now what're you lot wearing tomorrow?'

'My purple jersey,' Dorcas replied promptly. 'Its finally cool enough to wear it without looking stupid.' Tactfully, no one commented.

'Er, I dunno?' Lily said. 'What're we dressing up for?'

'Yeah,' Serena said. 'None of us have dates…'

'But you haven't got to wear your uniforms either,' Ze pointed out. 'Seems you like getting swanked up – might as well take the chance as not.'

Serena looked shyly at Dorcas and Lily. 'Well, if you're not busy, maybe you'd be my dates?'

'Yeah,' Dorcas beamed. 'That'd be grand.'

'We could go shopping!'

'Or eat ourselves sick in Honeydukes!'

'Or sit in the pub and get pissed and sing songs!'

'You,' Lily told Ze out of the corner of her mouth, 'are a genius.'

'Nah,' Ze shrugged. 'I just don't want to be the only one wearing nice clothes.' Lily eyed the outfit Ze was proposing to wear, and arched a brow. 'I know, I know,' Ze sighed. 'But they're fancy for me.'

'You're different than I thought you'd be,' Lily said quietly as Dorcas and Serena stared rowing about Madame Puddifoot's. 'I just, I guess I expected you to be all…blokey, but really, you're just like us.'

A small warm glow infused Ze's cheeks. 'This is going to sound really weird,' she said, unable to meet Lily's eyes. 'But I'm sort of, um, glad that…you know, we've…got to be friends. I mean, we have, haven't we?' she asked nervously.

'Yeah,' Lily nodded. 'Yeah, I think we have. Weird, isn't it?'

'Definitely,' Ze said, feeling unaccountably relieved. 'Definitely weird. I never thought I'd get to like you lot – or even get to know you, really. And here we all are, rowing about clothes.'

'I feel really stupid for never trying to make friends before. I used to worry that maybe you were a spy for Potter – like he'd threaten you with your place on the quidditch side if you didn't tell him things about me,' Lily said sheepishly. 'Then I realised what an idiot I am, making the whole thing about me.'

'James is desperate,' Ze grinned, 'but even he has limits. He's not so bad, you know,' she added, thinking that if Lily had brought up the subject herself, the least she could do was use the opening.

Lily snorted. 'No offense, but he's not in love with you, is he? I'm sure he's not as horrible as I make him out to be,' she added after a moment, 'and there are moments when – well, when I think I could possibly tolerate him. And then he does something completely wankerish, and I lose my temper, and there we are, back where we started.'

Ze nodded, suppressing a smile. 'Fair enough,' she said lightly.

'And anyway, he's rude to other people, and he's completely arrogant, and he never combs his hair,' Lily continued, savaging a pair of thick wool socks onto her feet. 'How could he ever possibly think I'd fancy someone like that?'

'Dunno,' Ze managed, barely keeping her twitching lips in check.

'If he'd make a bit more effort I'm sure he'd find someone willing to put up with him,' Lily sniffed. 'But enough about Potter – what's your plan for your date?'

'Er, plan?' Ze repeated, completely thrown off her amusement.

'Yeah, what are you going to do?'

'Well, I've got to stop at the –'

'No, I mean, what are you going to do if something goes wrong?'

'Wrong?' Ze repeated hoarsely. How had she never noticed all of these pitfalls? 'What would go wrong –'

'Oh, anything,' Lily said, turning away from her wardrobe with an armful of potential Hogsmeade ensembles and dropping them onto her bed. 'You know, if he stands you up, or wants to go somewhere you don't, or if he meets up with his friends and starts ignoring you, or puts his hands somewhere you don't want them –'

'I'd, ahm, I'd just tell him? Except for the hands bit – then I'd give him a right thump,' Ze said positively.

'Telling him won't do any good,' Lily said, shaking her head and unfolding a blouse. 'Anyway, you'll want to do it properly. Like, if he says "oh, let's sit down here with my mates" you know you're going to be stuck talking with them for hours and being utterly bored. So you say "oh – you go on – I see someone I need to talk to" and make sure it's another boy, and he'll be back with you straight off.'

Ze mulled this over. 'So basically I manipulate him?'

Lily frowned. 'Er…yeah. Look, it's the only useful thing Grace ever taught me, and it really does work. The thing about males is they don't want it if it's easy to get, yeah? Well…competition drives them mad. And anyway, it's just good sense to have a contingency plan. Serena, Dorcas and I could meet you in the pub – you know, if it goes badly, you could say that you'd promised to meet us, and if it's going well you could just do a no-show, right?'

Again, Ze thought about this. It was, in all probability, good sense. But she knew she wasn't going to do it. It was one thing to know that they were out there, if you needed them, and quite another to use them as an excuse when you were having a bad time. Frankly, she'd rather just tell Colin "thanks, but this isn't my cup of tea" than lie and say she had promised someone else to meet up. 'Um, that's really nice of you, but, you know, you might want to do something else…'

Lily eyed her, and then nodded. 'Right, well, we'll be around if you need us.'

Ze breathed a sigh of relief. 'Thanks.'

'Has anyone seen my handbag?' Serena asked from the doorway, her hands on her hips.

'Um…no?'

'Piss – it must be in the common room. Hopefully no one's nicked it – I'll just pop down –' and with that, she dashed out of the room.

'Right,' Dorcas said, turning from her wardrobe. 'Serena says not, but I think it's perfect.'

Lily and Ze stared at the woolly, appliquéd sweater with the massive turtleneck ruff, and leaned away in unison. Suddenly they wished they'd left their handbags in the common room, too.

*.

Remus, cursing James Potter, centaurs, rocks, and pointy sticks just below waist height, limped toward the Fat Lady and prayed that no one was in the common room. He was wearing the remnants of a flag he had snatched off a suit of armour while it was busy clapping its visor down to avoid the view. It wasn't much in the way of a garment, and he was feeling a decided draft. In fact, the entire thing seemed to be held together by three fickle threads, and he was coming perilously close to having to go bare-arsed in favour of covering the family jewels.

'Great Morgana and Circe!' the Fat Lady screeched. 'You're indecent!'

'No,' Remus said through clenched teeth, 'I'm naked. Unmitigated Midges!' he snarled.

'Never in my time – you lot get cheekier by the year – values going right down the toilet –' The Fat Lady's indignant rant was drawing the subjects of other paintings, and Remus could feel the rear panel of his makeshift loincloth giving way.

'Unmitigated Midges!' he shouted. 'That's the password – open up you stupid cow!'

'Why you cheeky little sod –' she squawked, but the magic had taken hold and she was swinging open.

Muttering under his breath, Remus dove through the hole, leaving the rear scrap of the flag of some forgotten fiefdom to waft to the corridor floor, borne down by the weight of the Fat Lady's rebukes. The common room was, thankfully, quite dark, and Remus clutched the remaining scrap of fabric over his dangly bits while his eyes feverishly searched the room. No one – brilliant. Deciding on speed over stealth, he positively leapt across the room toward the stairs. And he was almost there, too, when the most horrible sound in the world stopped him dead.

Giggling.

He couldn't help it – some things are just instinctive, and the sound of a girl laughing at him had his body turning round of its own accord. 'Evening Remus,' a voice chuckled richly, and his ears began to burn.

'H-hi Serena,' he managed, now turned to face her, wishing he had at least a sofa cushion – anything bigger than the minuscule square of faded blue silk. 'How's – how's it going?' he asked, trying vainly to sound unconcerned.

Serena didn't even bother to hide her smile. Tilting her head to the side, she ran her eyes down and then back up, her grin spreading wider and wider. 'It's just got quite a bit better,' she said, rocking back onto her heels.

Remus was now perilously close to exploding from heated humiliation. She was standing there, laughing at him. Just laughing. 'I'm – I just – ah, would you mind turning around?'

Serena leant one hip against the back of the couch and crossed her arms. 'Yeah,' she said gleefully. 'I would. You go on upstairs – I'll make just make sure you get back to your room safely.'

The unhindered glee in her voice sparked his anger. Fuck it, he thought. She wants a show? We'll give her a show – and we'll see who's laughing at the end. Affecting nonchalance he definitely didn't feel, Remus shrugged, dropping his hands and balling the bit of flag up in his fist. 'Always nice to know chivalry's not dead,' he said with a wink. 'Night then,' he added, and, giving a theatrical and completely superfluous stretch, he turned on his heel and whistled his way up the stairs.

Her gobsmacked face stayed with him, and as he pushed open the door to his dormitory, he could have sworn he'd heard her sigh…

*.*.*.*.*'Lipgloss?'

'Check.'

'Wand?'

'Check.'

'Extra toilet tissue?'

'Lily, I really don't think –' Ze began.

'Trust me,' Lily said firmly. 'Always be prepared.'

'Check,' Ze sighed. 'But really, shouldn't we be doing this in the morning? When I'm actually about to leave?'

'Oh, we'll do it then, too,' Lily said blithely.

'You're scary.'

'No, I'm smart. You alright, Serena?' Worry had infused her voice as she spoke the last, and Ze looked up to see a very dazed Serena wobbling through the door.

'Did you hit your head?' Dorcas asked, stepping forward.

Serena let out a faintly hysterical giggle, and clapped a hand over her mouth. There wasn't a handbag in sight. The other three exchanged a long and telling glance. 'Er, what happened?' Ze asked tentatively.

Serena surprised them all by smiling dreamily. 'I am officially going to bed, while this is still the most amazing day of my life,' she announced, and fell backward onto her four-poster.

There was a long silence, and she gave a faint sigh that ended in a snore. 'Weird,' Dorcas breathed.

*.*.*'You are dead - dead, d'you hear me –'

'Welcome back, Sirius, glad to see you're alive,' James said, grimacing as he tried to sit up.

'I am not joking, James, I'm going to rip your bloody head off and – '

'Looking a bit worse for wear, but then you did go sprinting off into the trees, didn't you?' Remus asked, stepping out of the toilet and limping across the room. Sirius gaped back and forth between them. 'We almost died. Died,' he repeated emphatically when the first mention didn't arouse the proper respect. 'And you lot left me. Have you got any idea where I ended up? In the castle? No. In the lake? No. Did you come looking for me? NO! You left me to the mercy of the bloody Mad Aunts! I ended up in their garden, okay? Chained to a birdbath! Naked!'

'And you've lived to tell the tale,' James said, but Sirius missed the sarcasm.

'D'you know what they said when they found me? D'you know?'

'I bet you're going to tell us,' Remus muttered.

'She said my wee winky was taking a chill! My wee winkie! They're completely deranged! They looked like they wanted to take me inside the house to eat me – and I don't mean anything to do with putting me in the oven first! I've barely escaped. I'm lucky to have my life! If it weren't for the fact that I managed my transformation and did a bunk while they were still confused, I'd very likely be a – a love slave!'

'You poor thing,' James mumbled. 'It must've been so hard, escaping as a dog and running back to where you'd left your clothes so you could get dressed before you got back here. Must have been bloody awful, sneaking through as a lovable old mutt people just love to pet. Not nearly as easy as almost being shot with that massive crossbow of Hagrid's. Really, it must have been loads worse than thinking you're going to end up as venison steak. Not to mention how awful it is compared to getting locked out and having to climb a wall starkers, or nearly plowing into McGonagall in the corridors, or having Peeves throw water balloons at you. Gosh, I just feel terrible.'

Sirius, his chest still heaving furiously, didn't hear a word. He was too enraged to listen, and his eyes couldn't keep still, skipping about the room. 'Where's Pete?'

'Cornered,' Remus groaned, easing his battered body onto his bed by painful degrees. 'We found him on the Map – he's holed up in a broom cupboard in the Charms corridor, waiting for the Ghost Convocation to break up.'

'Nasty,' Sirius muttered. 'But then, what else could we expect? After all, we did insist on following you out there and taking our clothes off and –'

'I'm sorry, okay?' James exploded. 'I'm sorry! I fucked up utterly, and it's got us all into trouble and I'm sorry. There – you happy now?' he finished on a snarl, thumping a book up in front of his face.

Sirius, who had been seconds away from forgiving the situation entirely anyway, nervously eyed the book. 'He still on about reading?' he asked Remus nervously.

'Yeah,' Remus sighed. 'But I checked it – this time, he's onto root vegetables.'

'Thank bloody Merlin,' Sirius breathed, and went to have a long, hot soak.

*.*.*.*

Ze stalled her way across the common room the next morning, her eyes on the boys' staircase. When she finally saw a very ragged Sirius shuffling his way down, she gave a half-wave and caught his eye. He winced, and, to her amusement, limped over to her. 'Told you following James blind wouldn't lead anywhere good,' she grinned as he shambled to a stop.

He glowered at her, his shoulders hunched. 'I'm not going to dignify that with an answer.' His eyes skimmed over her, and lightened slightly. 'You look nice.'

She blushed. 'Thanks. Serena says its too plain, but I'm comfortable, so –'

'You look nice,' he repeated, meeting her eyes and cutting her off.

'Oh,' she said, flustered. 'Okay, um, well…thanks.'

'You going down to breakfast? Oh no,' he immediately said, realising the time. 'You've already been and come back to get dressed – silly me. So you're on your way,' he said, and his smile seemed quite a bit thinner.

'Yeah,' she said. 'Yeah, ah, I just wanted to see…to see what you were…doing. Today, I mean,' she clarified, clearing her throat nervously.

He shrugged and then winced when his shoulders twinged. 'Dunno, really. Not much in the mood for the village, but I'll probably go down anyhow. Remus needs…something.'

'Oh,' she nodded, and the silence stretched. 'Well, um, maybe I'll see you? You know, there…or…something…'

She's nervous, he realised. She's nervous, and if something goes wrong, she wants to know where I'll be. 'In the pub,' he said suddenly, knowing that he'd sit there all bloody day if he had to. 'I'll be in the pub.'

'The pub. Okay,' she smiled nervously. 'Right, well, I'd best be going then –'

'Yeah. Good luck.'

'You not walking down?'

He shook his head. 'Waiting on the others,' he explained, jerking his shoulder back toward his dormitory.

'Right. Then I'll…see you.'

'See you,' he agreed. She nodded again, and with a slight wave headed for the portrait hole. On the girls' stair someone giggled, and Sirius turned his head to see, not an obnoxious group of first years, but Lily, Serena, and Dorcas. All three of them were grinning broadly, and when they saw they'd caught his eye, Lily gave a slight wave. Feeling unaccountably awkward, Sirius waved back, and then turned to head back up the stairs. There was no point in waiting down here – especially not with Dorcas in that jumper.

*.

Last night, Ze had dreamed that she'd gone to the courtyard only to discover that Colin wasn't there. She's stood, waiting, while around her everyone in the whole school – even the first years, even Slughorn, even Filch - had met up with someone and gone down to the village. Finally it had been her, completely alone, in the middle of the space with only the fountains for company. Dark had slowly fallen, but she had just stayed, sitting, waiting….

When she rounded the corner now to see Colin, looking sharpish and positively clean, standing there waiting, she had a quite gratifying surge of relief. 'Morning,' she said when she got close enough to hear, hoping she didn't sound as nervous as she felt.

'Hi,' he said, smiling as he turned. 'You look nice.'

It was exactly what Sirius had said, but somehow Colin's voice lacked the definite force he'd given the statement. 'Thanks.'

'So,' he continued, tilting his head toward the gates. 'No carriages – fancy a walk?'

'Sure.' When do we get past the awkward bit?

'Brilliant – come on, you said you needed to stop in at the quidditch shop. I wouldn't mind having a look over the beaters' bats, one of ours is about to go…'

Slowly, Ze relaxed. Colin kept up a steady stream of chatter about sport and nonsense that didn't require much thought on her part, and gradually her answers grew longer than a single word. They walked side by side, hands gesturing as they talked, periodically greeting friends and acquaintances. Colin did a lot more of this than Ze did, and she could feel the speculative glances following them. Colin Cross and Ze Meridian, she could imagine them whispering. Who'll she have a go at next? And then she actually heard a girl say, "probably he only asked her because she's guaranteed, isn't she?". Her friend had laughed at this, and Ze felt her own shoulders stiffening. Colin, thankfully, didn't seem to notice.

'Here we are then,' he beamed, opening the door to the shop and motioning her inside.

'Thanks.'

'Back already?' Eustace, the sales wizard, asked, smiling at Ze.

'It didn't quite fit,' Ze admitted, holding up the bag and removing the protective guard. 'I think I need the next one down.'

'Right, we'll just get that changed out then –' he bustled over to the display and removed the proper package. 'Go ahead and try it on,' he urged, removing it from the packaging. 'Wear it around a bit if you like – they're sized for men, o'course, so I can see how a good fit might be hard to find…'

'Cheers,' Ze grinned, accepting the guard and fastening it on, flexing her arm this way and that. 'Oh – and this is Colin – he's in for a new beater's bat,' she explained.

'Right you are,' Eustace nodded. 'We've just got some new stock in – very nice, solid oak –' pitching for all he was worth, Eustace led Colin over to the display of short cudgels, asking, 'Which hand do you favour, then?'

'Oh, it isn't for me,' Colin was quick to explain. 'I'm the keeper, see, but one of our lads is desperate for a new bat, only the village is out of bounds for him at the moment,' he grinned. 'Long story, but the point is he asked me to have a look around as he knew I was stopping by.'

He remembered, Ze thought, faintly flattered. He remembered I said I needed to come here, and he told his friends… There was no doubt about it – Colin Cross was a top bloke.

She watched as he questioned Eustace about the merits of each bat, explained the Hufflepuff beater's needs, calling over, 'Cover your ears – this is top secret stuff!' when it came to describing specific play requirements. Smiling slightly, she turned to look at aerodynamically fit robes and training gear, and when they left the shop a half hour later she was carrying the properly-sized arm guard, and he had a new solid ash bat. Eustace waved after them happily, and then went off to dust the quaffles.

'Where to next?' Colin asked, taking Ze's bag from her without asking.

Ze frowned slightly: chivalry was grand, but she wasn't keen on being treated like a wilting violet. 'Your choice,' she told him with a shrug.

'Honeyduke's?'

'Sure,' she agreed. 'I don't mind carrying that,' she added, pointing to her shopping back.

'I've got it,' he replied with a slightly crooked smile. 'I'll let you take over when it gets too heavy.'

'Right then,' she murmured, deciding that there was no point in pushing it. They turned in the direction of Honeyduke's and she wracked her brains for something to say. 'Er, have you heard they've developed a new sort of Tumbling Toffee?' As soon as the words were out, she winced: it might be possible that dumber things had been said on dates, but the chances were appallingly slim.

Colin, however, didn't seem to agree. 'Really?' he asked eagerly. 'That's the stuff that has you doing backflips, yeah? And they've done it over?' When she nodded warily, he beamed. 'Wicked'

And on they went.

*.*.*.*

'Have you got any more?' Remus asked, and the young shop attendant gave him a very strange look.

'Er, you've already got thirteen packages…' she pointed out.

'Yes, but I was rather hoping you've have that new deck that makes it bloody impossible to win,' Remus explained tightly.

'But you said you would be using them to play solitaire…'

'Of course,' he snapped impatiently.

'Ouch!' James cried from the other side of a display. And then: 'I'm okay – it only got my ear!'

'Is he, um, supervised?' the young witch asked.

'Yeah, the short one's his caretaker,' Sirius improvised, leaning against the counter beside Remus. 'And he's had his medicine, so you've nothing to worry about. Come on, Moons, we can come back next week if you've worn all these out.'

'Yes, but-' Remus began feverishly, only to be interrupted by another yelp from James.

'Come on,' Sirius muttered, beginning to feel a bit impatient: in addition to the possibility of James loosing an extremity, they were wasting valuable time that could be spent waiting on Ze.

'Fine,' Remus snarled, sweeping the cards across the counter. 'I'll take the lot.'

'Right,' the shop attendant said, jerking nervously as James cried "will you look at this!", followed by a nasty snapping noise.

'Get him out of here,' Remus pleaded, watching as his precious cards were loaded into a bag.

'Done,' Sirius agreed, rounding the display to grab James by the scruff of the neck. 'Come on then – Pete, let it go.'

'Tell it to let go of me!' Peter begged. Herding the both of them whilst disentangling Peter from the Wonder-weave Spiderweb was no easy feat, but Sirius managed, getting them both out into the street. Remus emerged from Dervish and Banges a moment later, and they all glanced around.

'Where should we –'

'Zonko's –'

'No,' Sirius interrupted. 'The pub.'

'But…'

'Not even lunchtime –'

'We just ate –'

'Pub,' Sirius repeated, immovable.

'Ohkay,' James said. Brightening, he added, 'I can always get on with my reading.'

'Mm,' Sirius nodded, marching down the street toward the Three Broomsticks.'

'And I've just got new cards,' Remus said, eyeing his bag hungrily.

'Ooh – and they've got a lovely open floor,' Peter beamed. 'I really need to work out my step-kick.'

Sirius nodded mutely. He didn't care what they did. He just needed to be there.

*.*.*.

Ze was having a fairly nice time. So far she'd been taken round Honeyduke's, Zonko's, and to lunch at the little café at the end of the high street. She'd paid for her own sweets and ice mice, but Colin had refused to go halves on lunch. There hadn't been any more awkward pauses after Honeydukes, and if she could ignore the way he kept putting his hand on the small of her back to guide her, she could almost pretend they were just two friends spending a day together. It was almost half past three in the afternoon now, and she was beginning to wish they were just friends spending a day together, because then she could have said "Right, I'm done – let's go back, shall we?" without having to worry about offending him.

But Colin wasn't quite ready to go. He'd mentioned wanting to stop in at Dervish and Banges, but they weren't precisely hurrying up the street. Ze had discovered that she rather wished they were. It wasn't that she didn't think he was nice and enjoyable company and all, but…he didn't get her jokes. Feeling slightly resigned, Ze hefted her bag – she'd reclaimed it at lunch, and he wisely hadn't argued. 'You still want to stop in at –'

'Wow, it looks really nice, doesn't it?' he interrupted, and she glanced over to see that he'd stopped beside a small gated garden. 'I wonder who keeps it up?'

Ze, slightly curious herself, joined him at the gate. 'Probably everyone, together,' she replied, pointing to a small plaque affixed to the ironwork. 'See – "In Loving Memory of Elphaba Jennings – May Your Garden Always Grow". You see them, in smaller villages, places where someone's planted loads of flowers and a hundred years later everyone's still keeping it up.'

'Come on,' he said, opening the gate and gesturing her in.

Smiling faintly – it was pretty, with the autumn leaves turning and everything just beginning to fade – she followed. 'I've always liked autumn best,' she admitted. 'There's something about watching the frost eat things up.'

There was a narrow path running through the trees and shrubs, leading the centre of the small plot, where a fountain tinkled in the sudden quiet. 'Its almost like the rest of the village doesn't exist,' Colin's voice came. 'And look – the garden seems to go on a lot further than the space…'

Ze, turning in a circle, smiled wider. 'It is a magic village,' she reminded him. 'They wouldn't have to worry about Muggles wandering in, would they? Why not have a massive garden in a tiny spot?'

'Why not indeed?' Colin murmured, and she realised that he was right behind her.

She turned a touch jerkily, almost stumbling over her own feet, and he grinned, his dimples popping up as he reached out a hand to steady her. He didn't say anything, and a thought darted through her head too fast to properly analyse: he's going to kiss me.

It didn't happen like she thought it would. In films, there was always a sort of graceful, preplanned joining of lips. And both people seemed to be really excited about it. Ze had about a half second to register that one or the other of them was going to have to shift to avoid a nose-on collision. And it didn't look like it was going to be Colin. There was no time to decide whether or not she wanted it – she barely managed to tilt her head to the side before his hand was cupping her cheek and his mouth was pressing against hers. It was almost gentle, at first, just warm lips and the faintly roughened skin of his palm against her cheek. Her eyes, open wide in surprise, shut when she reaslised that she was staring at his eyelids – not the best view, when you're centimetres away. He moved his head slightly, and she decided that this wasn't so bad – a little boring, but not so bad. And then it got wet. Not warm, soft wet, but chilly, clammy wet. And there was a rather distinct…taste. His hand left her face, and abruptly she was leaning toward nothing but empty air.

Her eyes flew open and she stared, lips puckered, at nothing. Really, nothing. Not Colin's-taken-a-step-back-and-is-wiping-his-face nothing, but You're-completely-alone-nothing. Just empty garden, the fountain splashing serenely and the wind rustling faintly through the trees, stirring a few golden leaves loose to drift towards the ground. Turning hesitantly around, she strained her eyes. 'Um, Colin?'

There was no possible way he'd gone – in addition to the fact that she would have heard him, he couldn't have gotten that far in what was, she judged, to be perhaps five seconds. But where the bloody hell had he got to? 'Colin? If this's a joke, it isn't bloody funny –' she broke off, realisation that it might indeed be a joke warming her face as she thought about how humiliating that would be. 'Colin?' she tried one more time, her voice catching a bit at the end. And then there was a rustle, so faint at first she couldn't tell where it was coming from. It grew stronger after a moment, and she discovered that the leaves at her feet were brushing against one another. Then something pushed its head up out of the pile, and a pair of large amber eyes blinked at her.

'Ribbit?' said Colin Cross.

A/N - right, so I know that I already posted this chapter, but realised that revision was essential as I'm not going to be able to save enough of the original version to include some of the secondary plotlines. If you're reading this for the second time, please forgive that the vignette involving Peter and Grace will not appear - to be perfectly honest, the entire text of the story has been completely scrambled, and this chapter was once around 8,000 words - this is all that remains, and I'm sorry, because it's absolute crap. Once I get things back together I may return and try to recreate bits, but all the pertinent facts are included in this version, and for the sake of moving the story on I'm just going to go with it for now.

thanks for all the lovely reviews - they make writing worth it! oh, and Colin is a frog, not a rabbit - apologies for those who thought there was a spelling mistake.

More to follow soon - I promise all will be explained!