Disclaimer: I own nothing but my college debt and the freakin' sweet haircut I just got....Stephenie Meyer created this world and I am just diving it it.

Please be aware that this story is now Rated M--there is bad language in this chapter!

For the record...Cole "effed" me up in this chapter. I won't be switching POV's again. Now, on with it already....

"Peace is what they tell me
Love am I unholy
Lies are what they tell me
Despise you that control me
The peace is dead in my soul
I have blamed the reason for
my intentions poor
Yes I'm the one who
the only one who
Would carry on this far
Torn, I'm filthy
Born in my own misery
Stole all that you gave me
Control you claim you save me."

--Torn by Creed

Chapter 26: Motives

Cole's POV

I lost track of how long I stood staring at the Swan residence's front door like an unmitigated coward before finally deciding to advance inside. I knew she was alone—the father and the boyfriend went on some sort of fishing excursion. Whatever. Good for them. The boyfriend was exceedingly nauseating which only made it more evident that Isabella was miles out of his league.

As soon as I was inside, I was greeted with the most vile odor in all existence —werewolf, of course. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and continued on my mission to her bedroom. Once I ascended the stairs I listened closely, tuning myself into her heavy breathing—she was asleep. I gently pushed her door open farther, revealing her petite body curled up in the middle of her bed. She had a book open on her chest, and I watched as it rose and fell with every inhalation she captured. She was wholesome. She was fragile. She was human. But most of all, she was unavoidable. As much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, I cared about her more than I should, but not enough to guarantee her safety.

She stirred in her sleep, her mouth opening and closing, the crease on her forehead deepening and then relaxing again. I heard her sigh and mumble her boyfriend's name. If I haven't witnessed her sleeping before, I may have suspected she was waking. I inched my way past her door and quietly shut it behind me. I approached the side of the bed she was facing and knelt down beside her, studying her features. Her heart-shaped face was peaceful and at rest, which was much better than having to endure it when it was twisted in sheer pain. I allowed my right hand to reach out and gently brush away a few stray hairs that were plunging into her eyes.

I stood to my feet and seriously contemplated turning around and leaving—simply allowing the initial plan to run its course. If Victoria had any inkling—no matter how minuscule that inkling may be—about what I was about to offer Isabella, she would surely have me killed. To be honest, just the resentment in her eyes would nearly do the job on its own. I have loved the red-haired goddess since the first moment I laid my insignificant, paltry human eyes on her. So, how I could contemplate denying Victoria her chance to succeed in killing this fragile human was unfathomable to me.

Last Saturday, when I made that secret visit to Isabella's house, I had come to realize my true feelings for her. As soon as I began telling her about my past and she watched me, intently hanging on my every word, I was so confident I had it in the bag. I knew she believed the lies I fed her and I could see she was beginning to truly trust me. However, instead of rejoicing in my victory—instead of rejoicing for getting Victoria what she wanted—I felt sick. Why couldn't I just be ecstatic that everything was falling perfectly into place the way they were planned? Why was I suddenly, after thirty years of not giving a shit, shedding any sense of guilt and remorse toward my schemes against the one human girl that would eventually break me? That shit frustrated me to no end, but what was about to happen next was so completely unexpected that it nearly floored me.

I had wanted to kiss her. And it wasn't just a want that a high school boy experiences when he has a little crush on the head cheerleader; rather it was a craving that pulled from the very center of my existence merely begging me to give in. When I advanced upon her, she refused me and took a humorous plunge off the couch. This simple act, irrelevant to your everyday human, only further defined her character. This was Bella, beautifully uncoordinated.

She stirred a second time in her sleep, bringing me out of my inner reflections to assess the present situation. She was awake, but was refusing to open her eyes to acknowledge my presence. Or maybe she didn't know I was there at all? Regardless, I knew it was too late to back out now, so I was mentally preparing myself to push forward with my new strategy.

I sat firmly down on the edge of her bed, not even bothering to go unnoticed. My movements triggered Isabella to jump up from her sleeping position and back as far away from me as possible. Her depth-filled chocolate eyes were wide as she stared back into my threatening gaze—trying to blink me out of existence. I could hear her heart beating, her unsteady breathing, and I hated the thought of all that coming to an end.

"Isabella…" I said calmly, trying to mask my true tortured state of mind. "I'm sorry for--"

"No!" She yelled suddenly, taking me completely aback by her outburst. Her eyes were narrowed and her fists clenched at her sides—and if this visit hadn't been based on grave purposes, I may have even been amused. "Just don't."

Just don't, what? I wanted to ask, but I could tell by the determination in her eyes that she wasn't about to let me speak just yet.

"You have no right to come into my room uninvited. You have no right coming into my life and turning it upside down just when things were starting to look up for me. I don't know who you think you are or what you are trying to pull—but just don't," she yelled, speaking so fast any human may have had a hard time following.

Her words were true, but that didn't stop them from stinging any less. I didn't possess the right to take her life into my hands and I didn't have the right to lie to her about my relationships with her ex-boyfriend's family. However, I was never an honorable gentleman, so why start now? I didn't always do the things that I knew I should.

"You don't understand," I said, pleading with her. I knew I had to get her to trust me again if this was going to work—if I was going to save her life. "Please, just hear me out."

I saw her resolve waver as she sighed and shifted up onto her knees. She was chewing on her bottom lip again, a simple quirk I discovered she indulged in anytime she was nervous. I tried to keep my gaze away from that particular action because honestly, it was so genuinely sexy that it practically summoned my lips to give into their decadent desires.

"What? What do you want?" She asked, her voice free of any tolerance for my mind games.

"I--" Wait a minute…

What did I really want? Victoria? I thought I had at one time, but why was Isabella making me second guess that? I was a vampire—the predator. Humans were supposed to be my prey. What was it about this girl that made me want to go against the very nature of my existence?

I couldn't stop myself from grinning just thinking about the absurdity behind the words I was about to speak—the absurdity of the proposition I was about to pose. "I came to make you an offer."

"An offer?" She asked.

I instinctively caught myself staring candidly at her neck—her jugular seducing my control. I could almost see the blood pulsing through her veins, begging me to give into my primal instincts. I managed to pull my attention back up to meet her vigilant eyes.

"I'm really sorry that you are still hurting because of Edward. I'm really sorry that my presence is bringing back memories that you are trying to forget. But most of all, I'm sorry for being the cause of your pain and suffering. I never meant to--"

"Cole," she said, interrupting me. "The offer."

Okay, so maybe the coward in me was initially trying to stall, but once the words left my mouth I realized how very true they were. I was sorry. I was sorry for the first time in thirty years—sorry for ever being responsible for any amount of her suffering. I was sorry that her life was in danger, but most of all, I was sorry that she wasn't mine to lose.

Slowly, I inched closer to her, placing my hand on her thigh—never taking my eyes off of her. When she didn't back away from my touch, I knew that I might actually stand a chance. I could hear her heart rate spike a notch as I leaned in even closer. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard while I took that opportunity to tuck some of her hair behind her delicate ear. My lips were burning, pleading with me to kiss her—but, I knew if I gave in my whole purpose of being here might be lost.

"You have something that I want," I said, smoothly--fiercely. "And, I have something that you want."

She opened her eyes and tried to speak but her voice came out all wrong. I was affecting her. "You-you have nothing I want."

Wrong. I can save your life.

"You're wrong," I said, removing my hand from her face. And shit, I couldn't stop myself from hiking my hand further up her thigh. "I can make Edward yours again."

Although Edward, the imprudent fool who gave you up so easily and left you to die certainly doesn't deserve someone of your incomprehensible loveliness.

I knew the instant I said his name, the pain and heartache would flood back into her system and give way through her eyes. I felt like a complete asshole for continuously bringing him up in her presence, but I never claimed to be a saint.

"Excuse me?" she whispered, panic evident in her tremulous breathing.

"Edward didn't want you because you were human," I explained to her. "I can turn you into something he'll want."

I could practically hear her mind spinning with what I was offering. Her eyes frantically darted all around the room, careful to look at everything but me. I knew I had to bring her back to me, so I reached out and placed my hand on her neck—allowing my fingers to trace pointedly along her jugular.

"I can make you a vampire."

Her neck was warm and inviting, luring me in to relish in her sweet scent. The moment my lips touched her neck, I thanked the gods, the Volturri, or whatever the hell was responsible for giving me the massive amount of control I had been given in my creation. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to taste her sweet blood.

"You will get Edward back, and I will get the pleasure of drinking human blood," I whispered against her neck, eliciting a shiver from her. "Just say the word, Isabella, and it's done."

Please say the fucking word. Please.

She was painfully silent while she contemplated my offer. My lips continued to rummage up and down her neck, almost forcing me to reach the decision to change her without her consent. Screw being morally right—she'd thank me later.

"No," she eventually said, pulling me out of my thoughts. "I don't want this."

Well, shit. That was unexpected. I was so used to getting what I wanted that I wasn't anticipating her refusal. I stopped my hand's idle climb up her alluring thigh and backed away from her neck to examine her eyes.

"Isabella, don't be stupid. Think about what I'm offering you."

"I love Jacob," she declared. And really, I couldn't understand why. He was obnoxious, immature, and inexperienced. He could never even dream of doing the things that I would do for Isabella if she were mine. But, that was beside the point, because right now her blind and foolish love for the retched adolescent was going to be the cause of her death.

"You love Edward more," I said, trying desperately to remind her of that.

"Loved more," she corrected. "Past-tense."

I was trying to keep my cool, but I was getting more and more frustrated. I didn't want her to die, I didn't want to be the cause of any of her grief, but what more could I do if she blatantly refused to take that path of life?

"I beg you to reconsider," I said, hanging on my last ounce of hope.

"Why is this so important to you?" she asked. "I thought you were a vegetarian vampire, I thought you didn't want human blood."

I wanted to yell at her and shake her into reality. I wanted to tell her the complete truth about Victoria and the plans that we made, but I knew I couldn't—I knew that neither of us would survive Victoria's wrath. If I turned Isabella into a vampire, I would pretend that it was purely an accident, a lapse in my impeccable control. My strategy was flawless—Bella would live and Victoria would still love me. But, she was about to ruin it all. Why couldn't she just be a stupid, unintelligent human like the rest of them?

I chuckled, darkly—my anger getting the best of me. "I want human blood; I just choose not to drink it."

"Fine," she said. "Why would you even consider doing this anyway? I thought it was nearly impossible for vampires to stop once they bit a human. Are you trying to get me killed? Are you that selfish that you would put my life in danger so you could satisfy some sort of need for yourself?"

Oh, if only she knew how unselfish I was being in this moment.

"I can control myself; I'm different from others of my kind. I was born with control far better than even the most experienced," I explained, my voice softening. This was an uphill battle that I was beginning to realize I wasn't going to win. I glanced down to the bed and sighed. How was I going to live with myself after Victoria killed her?

"Bella, I care about you, I would never put you in danger."

I did care about her, but I was putting her in danger. My whole purpose for being in her life was to lead her to her ultimate death. I felt like I was going to be sick. I froze and shot up from her bed, backing away from her as the reality of the situation came crashing down on me.

"I have to go," I managed to say. I had to get away from her to clear my head. I needed to come up with some other way to save her life.

"Okay?" she replied in confusion. I didn't blame her, because I wasn't making much sense even to myself.

"Please," I begged her, one last time. "Just consider my offer. Let me know if you change your mind."

But, I knew she wouldn't. I knew that I failed—that all was lost. Isabella was going to die and it was my fault. With that, I turned and left—unable to look at her anymore.

As soon as I reached the confinement of the woods, I took off running. It wouldn't take me long to make it back to Seattle if I took the usual path, but today I was planning on taking a detour. I needed time to think before I met with Victoria again.

Victoria.

She was the only woman I ever allowed to have any kind of hold over me. I loved her when I was human, before I even knew what kind of life she lived. And then, when she changed me and opened my eyes to a whole new life, I had loved her even more.

I could remember the day of my transformation as if it were yesterday. Of course, the story I had told Isabella last Saturday was not completely a lie. There was some truth behind it. I did go to that bar in Italy that night to meet up with the women I loved—I just left out the minor detail that the woman was Victoria. When she didn't show, I did roam the streets in a drunken stupor in search of her. She never allowed me to get close to her, she was always such a tease—always an arm length away. So, when she grabbed me in the middle of that dark alley and pulled me into the old run-down building, I did not protest. I also didn't protest when she finally granted my lips the pleasure of tasting hers. I could still feel the icy chill of her touch as she pulled me closer against her body—her breath sweet and divine as it blew across my face. I remember mumbling her name and my love for her in barely audible declarations.

The pleasure didn't last long though, because the next thing I knew I was on the ground writhing in excruciating pain. The intense burning started in my neck and managed to make its way into every inch of my body—not allowing any fraction to go unmarked. I had begged Victoria to spare me the misery—to just end my life, but she stayed by my side and assured me it would all be worth it in the end.

When I woke out of my painful coma three miserable days later still in the confines of the run-down building, her beautiful face was the first sight I laid my eyes upon. In that moment, I knew I was not the same man I had been that night in the bar—I was changed. I felt different. I felt powerful. I felt renewed.

Of course, over the next thirty years, Victoria didn't always stay by my side. She would leave me for several years at a clip, only to turn up randomly asking me to help her with her latest endeavors. She valued my impeccable control that was not common for any vampire to possess, let alone a newborn. Naturally, I would never refuse her, because she always had a hold of my heart and I dedicated my new life to pleasing her. She was my creator, my lover, and my only true companion.

So now, bringing my mind back to the present time, I cannot fathom why I am willing to go against the creator of my new life in order to save that of a fragile human. Maybe it's true that Isabella may have taken a small slither of my heart away from Victoria's grasp. Maybe it's true that I never understood the reasoning behind Victoria's hatred and wholehearted revenge for this random human girl, who in my eyes would be the last person for a vampire to ever despise. And finally, maybe it's true that in the end, I may not be as cold as I had once thought—my heart may have stopped beating, but that doesn't mean it is free of all emotion and remorse.

I cared about Isabella.

It was enough to break me.

But it was not enough to save her life.


A/N: Okay people….so now you FINALLY know what Cole is all about.

I mean, I hope this will help to make some of you hate him less?

I realize he may be a "bad guy" persay, but I hope by seeing things through his eyes you can see where he is coming from.

If you still hate him, sweet...at least I was able to get some emotion out of you.

I'm still looking for someone to make me a Fall For You graphic so please PM me if you are interested!

Finally, thank you to "my hubby is no edward" for all of the late night chats and for being the best beta there is. I love her!

Thank you to ReLees for being patient with my impatience. :-)

If you like my story, don't just thank me--thank them too.

Reviews are better than watching Rob as Cedric in Harry Potter! (Yes, I just watched it in case you were wondering...)