Ok, it's been a while, I'll admit. But I'm here now, and everything is going to be ok. (At least for me. I can't guarantee Penguin or Killer Croc's safety.) I'm pretty sure I was wrong about finishing this thing by the end of the year. But miracles do happen. People see Jesus in toast all the time, right? Is that still a thing that happens?

Katherine: Yeah, I feel bad for Johnny too. But I feel like they might kiss and make up. I have some thoughts… ;-)

Chapter 26

Batman pulled a funny looking batarang out of his belt and jammed it into the ice. Jonathan was motionless and wide eyed, and Eddie was uncharacteristically silent. He pressed a button in the center of the projectile, and within seconds the ice was melting.

The unconscious Poison Batgirl began to slump, and Batman caught her in his arms. Picking her fully up off the ground, he stepped back from the puddle of water, which had now somehow caught fire.

"Right," He muttered to himself, and then to Eddie and Jonathan. "Hang on to me."

He raised his arm and fired his grappling hook, with Eddie on one side, Jonathan on the other, and Barbara over one shoulder. They slowly rose into the air.

"Can't we go any faster than this?" Eddie complained, to which Batman merely replied:

"I could certainly drop one hundred and sixty pounds of red hair, green suit, and total ungratefulness."

"I'll shut up now." Eddie replied, unusually meekly.

"You do that."

Jonathan was hanging on for dear life, and was simply staring at the mass of red hair hanging down Batman's cape, obscuring Barbara's face. He had a plethora of swirling emotions, and for once in his life, he didn't know what to do.

Once they were level with the street, Batman laid Barbara gently down for a moment and cuffed the two men. He called the Batmobile by remote control and loaded the two men into the back of it.

"That's not fair!" cried Edward. "What did we do?"

"I don't even know yet. But you're going to sit here and think about it!" Snarled the Caped Crusader.

He slammed the door shut, picked up Barbara, loaded her into the front seat, and raced his way to Gotham General, leaving the two men inside on arrival.

When they were alone, Jonathan sighed and finally spoke.

"I think she was right."

Eddie was startled. "Who was right?"

"Barbara. I know absolutely nothing about her."

He looked so forlorn that Eddie, (who had clear sociopathic tendencies similar to Jonathan's, and he briefly wondered what was happening to them both,) felt a twinge somewhere in his chest, possibly, he hoped, in his lung region.

Then he thought about Selina. He'd been so busy getting into her cat suit...

He gave the Fear master a wan smile, "Well, you study harder and ask the teacher for a make-up exam."

"You think I'll get a second chance?"

Eddie chuckled softly. "We're Batman villains. Our entire lives are built on second chances."

Jonathan nodded thoughtfully. "Well, no time like the present. You got out of this thing once, right? How?"

"There's an eject button on the steering wheel, but it's a touch far away right now." He demonstrated by reaching his arm as far behind him as he could. He touched something metal and sharp. He withdrew his fingers, and stuck them in his mouth.

"What was that?" He stuck his arm behind himself again, more carefully this time, blindly probing Batman's backseat.

He pulled out the collapsible Bat Sword.

They both stared at it for a moment, and said in unison, "Batman is really getting sloppy."

"Maybe he needs a vacation," Eddie suggested.

"I was thinking more along the lines of retirement," Jonathan contributed.

Either way, they cut themselves out of their restraints and made it out of the Batmobile via the eject button, which resulted in a repeat of Eddie's last trip in the vehicle's rocket boosted bucket seat. It was far less romantic landing face to face on top of the Scarecrow. They crept around the side of the hospital, looking for other entrances, and hoping that the passersby, including the EMTs unloading several of Poison Ivy's 'children,' wouldn't rat them out to the Bat. Escaping the Batmobile and sneaking into a hospital seemed to make that dream unlikely.

"We need clothes," muttered Eddie.

"I have an idea," whispered Jonathan in reply, pointing at two orderlies smoking near an emergency exit.

Eddie smiled and made a small tsk tsk sound.

After ten minutes, one black eye, and a chunk of Jonathan's hair being pulled out, they strolled into the hospital. A nurse stared as they passed, and Edward laughed and jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "These two guys tried to jump us outside, wearing the craziest outfits. Looked just like the Riddler and the Scarecrow." They kept walking, and made their way to an administrative desk. They were in the middle of searching for Barbara, with Jonathan in the chair, and Eddie leaning over his chair and "helping" him type. This mostly resulted in some slap fighting.

The nurse on the other computer had been giving them quite the serious fisheye when Bruce Wayne walked up to the counter, carrying two bouquets of flowers, one sunflowers, and the other pink roses.

"How can I help you Mr. Wayne?" she asked politely, putting on her most dazzling smile at the handsome billionaire.

"Yes, I need to see two patients please. Can you tell me where I could find Barbara Gordon and Selina Kyle?

She typed into her computer for a moment, deflating at his need to see not one, but two women while toting flower arrangements. She blew a strand of hair off of her face, and looked back up to his handsome profile.

"Ms. Kyle is on the fourth floor, room 2187A, and Ms. Gordon is still in intensive care. When she's stabilized, she'll probably be somewhere on the second floor." She batted her eyes at him and stood up, leaning her elbows on the desk, her chin in her hands. "Do you need any help finding your way around? I'd be happy to personally escort you to Ms. Kyle's room. It's a long walk to the fourth floor, and there are so many twists and turns… it'd be so easy to accidentally find your way into some dark, deserted exam room…"

Eddie and Jonathan stood up, looking incredulously at each other, and calmly walked away, taking care not to look directly at Bruce. Eddie knew there was some kind of link between him and the Dark Knight, but he couldn't quite figure out what it was. Generous benefactor, perhaps, but whatever the reason, it was best to lay low if both men were prowling around the hospital.

Of course, nothing escaped Bruce's eye. Politely declining the pretty nurse, who would have made excellent arm candy at some movie premier, he followed the two men, wondering what their endgame was.