Chapter 26: Drunkards

A/N: I could talk about killing off Michael and what effect it will have on Rick and the rest of the story, but that's something that you'll be reading soon anyway. Actually, I have some other things of importance to discuss. For starters, it has been brought to my attention that TCBT technically qualifies as an AU fic, so I figured I would ask your opinion on it. Just let me know if those two letters should be added to the summary.

Second, as I said a few chapters back, there are two OCs joining the cast. You just met Rei last chapter, but now I need your help with the second. You see, I have the basic structure of a character: male, purple hair, straight, etc. The thing I need from you guys (my oh so loveable fans) is simple. Help me name him. Send it by email, PM, or just leave it in a review.

I just ask that you refrain from submitting the following: your name, your pen name, or the names of any OCs that may exist in your own personal stories. This is being done purely on the honour system, but that is all I ask. Thank you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been a week. A week spent sitting in this room at the Inn hearing things that show the rest of the city is moving on while I'm stuck in another time. The dress with Raijin's blood is gone. Zidane brought me a change of clothes (not ones that you would normally see me wear, mind you), and I'm not sure what he did with the garment. I am quite sure that I do not want to know.

They held a memorial service for the ones who fell that day. Zidane and Dagger tried to convince me to come, but I couldn't. Something told me that I didn't deserve to tell him goodbye. Guilt? Maybe. I was planning on leaving him, after all. Leaving him for somebody who has yet to show any romantic interest in me. I wonder if Michael thought of me while he died: wondering if I would even care that he was gone, if I would even know. Was it quick? Did he suffer?

There are so many questions that will never be answered.

The others have tried to cheer me up in their own ways. Zidane has tried on countless occasions to drag me out into the city. He's promised shopping trips and eating in fancy restaurants. It all sounds good and well, but… Do I really deserve any of that?

Vivi's visited a few times. The kid seems happy enough. He's told me (and Zidane when the monkey was there) about how the mother of his friends was starting to treat him as though he were one of her own. There was no hint of brooding about his future or worries that he was some soulless husk. He's just kid now.

Dagger's been as cooped up as I, only hers wasn't voluntary. She's stuck in the room across the hall until the higher-ups can come up with a plan. What good it will do I don't know. So much has changed that I don't even know if the Lifa Tree even exists or not. Regardless, the princess drops by every few hours to make sure I haven't killed myself or something.

And then there are the others. Lilka came after the memorial to see how I was doing, Sasuke and Rei in tow. The Uchiha didn't really say anything. After the other two left, Rei sat down next to me and offered, in what I hope was her own way of attempting to make me feel better, to drug and tie up Sasuke so that I could have my way with him. Several blinks later I told her I'd think about it. What? Even a depressed, cheating pseudo-widow needs to keep his options open.

But ever since the others left for the memorial, I've been wearing Michael's jacket. The itchy one he gave me on that night we first met. It turns out that I'd left it behind when we gave chase after Dagger, and the next person to stay in the room turned it in at the Lost & Found. Who knew such a thing existed in Gaia? I only found it because, in the hopes that I could ignore the feeling telling me stay, I resolved to the go pay respects. I made it as far as the front lobby.

In the interest of keeping myself busy, I checked the satchel to see just what Dagger had purchased. There were several potions, a few hi-potions, some antidotes and the like. I noticed several weapons and some old armour that I could probably sell off pretty cheap if need be. The most interesting were the shining marble-like things. Like the one I found back in Dali. Whenever I pulled them out, my Materia on the bangle began to glow. After putting them back, I left the room long enough to go into Dagger's and ask her what was going on. She told me that she, Benero, and Steiner had met someone in Treno interested in the first stone upon seeing them deciding if they could sell it, and requested that they recover eleven others. There are five now. But who the heck was this person, and why didn't he or she just take the one that we already had? I could just guess that this was some bizarre take on the whole Stellazzio side-quest or whatever, but whenever I held them and my Materia pulsated… It was a rather ominous sensation.

In addition to that mystery, I'm now left to ponder as to what affect Michael's death is going to have on the storyline. When Cid tries to overcome his curse and ends up as a frog, we have to get one of the potions from Michael. But Michael's dead. So…

Pressing away thoughts of things that I have no control over, I glance out the window. Despite the remaining Alexandrian occupation, the people have already begun to rebuild. Children are once again playing in the streets. Why can't I resume the normality of my life? They can do it.

Someone knocks on the door. I tell whoever it is to enter. Zidane breathes heavily as he tries to catch my eye. "Princess, they want to meet us at Dragoos."

The weapon shop? Why would Cid and Lara want to meet us there? Besides, I'm… I… "They wouldn't want me there. What good have I been? Really? I couldn't save Raijin, or Michael. I'm not a warrior like you or Freya. Heck… even Dagger has her purpose. She's a healer. What am I? A liability."

Zidane clearly doesn't know what to say, so he says nothing. He just stands there with his arms folded and his eyes piercing mine. The little hamster wheel in his head is spinning faster than a hamster has any right to.

"Do you really think that little of yourself?" he finally asks. He has a small grin that I know all too well. "They say that every genius needs an idiot, Princess. You're my idiot."

With a laugh I throw a pillow at him. Then I realize what I'd just done. So does he.

"Do you think that… guy would want you sulking round here forever? Sure, he wasn't my favourite person and I badmouthed him all the time, but he made you happy. He would want you to be happy. I want you to be happy, Princess," he encourages. "Don't forget him. Just…"

His words of wisdom have run out.

"Just what?"

"I was going to say, 'just get laid,' but you couldn't get a man looking like that," he advises with a laugh. Then I challenge him on how exactly he knows what it takes to get a man. "Princess, if anyone knows anything about being sexy, it's me. I don't even have to try. They just flock to me on their own. I have to turn them down, of course."

Is it just me, or is Zidane now convinced that all of the men in the world are as in love with him as he thinks the women of the world are? Someone must have been spending time with Rei. But hey, I'm smiling. Which is more than I've done in ages.

"Fine, Honey," I sigh as I stand up and pull the jacket closer around me despite the fact that it's relatively warm outside. "Let's go see what they want."

I grab the satchel as we walk out the door. There's no way I'm letting this out of my sight again.

"It's nice to see you, Rick," Minister Croft says as I walk in the door with Zidane. There's nobody else around. Not even that Dragoo guy, whatever he looks like. Really should've paid more attention to the game. "Come, this way."

She leads us through a back door hidden behind a display of swords. I look back and note that the "Closed" sign is hanging up. Anyway, everyone is in the back room: Dagger, Lilka, Rei, Sasuke, and Cid. The evil cheating bug. Though am I to talk? Didn't I just about do to Michael with Angelo that he did to Hilde with his random hoochie?

Minister Croft closes the door and Sasuke looks at her from the crate of glass armlets he's sitting on. "What did you need us for?"

"I think you already know," she tells the ninja. Rei is drooling, as is Zidane, but the rest of us ignore them.

Sasuke smirks as he looks over at Dagger. She happens to have her tongue in her mouth, which the only difference between her and the other two obsessed perverts. "You want us to take the princess back to our Shikon Academy, don't you?"

Shikon Academy? Could someone be a little more original please?

"That's, gwok, correct." Cid flies over to Lara and lands on her shoulder. Lilka and Rei start at this, but Sasuke retains his cool because, well, he's Sasuke. "We feel that the enchantments in, gwok, place there offer more, gwok, protection than any other."

"Indeed," Lara nods. "The Princess is incredibly susceptible here, and only luck has kept her from being discovered."

"How did you know I'm a princess?" she inquires with a look in Sasuke's direction. "I never told you."

"Hmph." The ninja looks smug. Which, to be honest, is still incredibly hot. "The day we first arrived in Lindblum, I heard the Minister refer to you as such."

Even Minister Croft looks pleasantly impressed.

Of course, upon hearing this, Rei is once again practically on top of Dagger. "So you're royalty, huh? That must mean you're rich. I think that's incredibly… hot." The last word is breathed upon the Summoner's skin in a most sultry way. Minister Croft almost loses her composure at this, but I notice Cid lean in expectantly. I swear, everyone in Gaia is perverted. Or, at least, the major players in this part of the story.

"H-how about we leave now?" Lilka suggests as I begin to attempt to attempt prying the blue-haired girl from my former arch-nemesis. T'would be more of a pain to let this run its course in the long run, so I'd better get it over with. Although… it would be funny to watch.

"Rei, Dagger is engaged," I pant as I continue pulling. She's managed to give up absolutely no ground. Of course, I don't mention it to Zidane that her fiancé is the blonde guy who tried to kill us in Alexandria.

"Ooh," the girl coos excitedly. "I know how to do threesomes. They can be quite fun."

Minister Croft lays a hand on Rei, turning Rei from probable sexual offender to drooling admirer once more. "I do believe now would be a good time for you depart."

"What did you want us for, then?" I point at Zidane and myself as I speak. "If she's going to be safely hidden away in some school or something, why bring me out?"

Cid answers this time. "We need you to, gwok, go with her…"

"We need someone we can trust," the minister further explains. "While I don't doubt these three would take of the Princess, knowing that there are some people there with whom we have already established some foundation of trust would be most reassuring."

"So we're there to make you feel better?" My eyebrows shoot up into what would have been my bangs if Steiner hadn't forced me to get a haircut. It's growing back nicely, but nowhere near where I want it.

"I can make you feel better," Rei says. Not to me, of course, as she has wrapped herself around a very receiving Zidane. I watch as Sasuke shakes his head. I can only wonder what's going through Lara's mind. I already know that Cid's is in the same place as Zidane's. The perverts.

Then I point out that, while I'm sure it was less obvious than hijacking an airship, the walk to such a place will undoubtedly be time-consuming and that the Mist will wreak havoc on my complexion. It seems to suck all colour out of me for some reason.

"Oh, we don't travel like that," Lilka tells me happily. "If we did, then these two might just kill each other."

Do I even need to say who she's talking about?

"We travel my telegems. We had to get here on foot, but these take you back to Shikon Academy immediately." Lilka holds out a blue-green stone about the size of an eraser. You know, those pink ones that you're supposed to have for art class that never actually work. "I have it, of course, because someone would lose it, and his royal highness refused to do the drudge work of lugging around ONE stone."

Hmm… more people need magic satchels that can hold anything without a change in size of weight. But this one is mine. I'm not afraid to kill over it, as Dagger can attest. Because if Zidane hadn't stepped in…

Moving on to more pleasant thoughts, I wonder just how the heck this is going to work. When I ask, Lilka just says that the people being transported just have to be touching each other.

"Where?" Dagger asks. "Do we have to be holding hands or something?"

"You can hold anything you want," Rei purrs.

Zidane perks up at this, but I slap a hand over his mouth before he can say anything more. "Can we just go before someone ends up having sex?"

Lilka hold the stone out. Dagger touches the other girl's forearm while Sasuke puts a hand on Lilka's shoulder. Zidane and Rei are a little too close for me my comfort, and I can tell that at least one of them has a hand somewhere on Dagger that they shouldn't, if the size of her eyes are any indication. I'm not really one to talk, though, seeing as how I'm currently wrapped around Sasuke. He feels so… gah.

Pulling out her wand, Lilka advises us to say our goodbyes. Dagger and I do. Sasuke just narrows his eyes in the direction of the minister and the regent. Zidane and Rei are too busy staring at each other. Then Lilka taps the stone with her wand and everything around me disappears in a flash of light.

Teleporting onto Brahne's airship was not fun. That was like a complete loss of self, as I couldn't even feel Fujin's hand in my own. This is different. I can feel Sasuke, but can't see a thing. Without even thinking about it, I pull myself even closer to him.

It only takes about five seconds. Then we're all standing outside a small, egg-shaped building. And we're ankle deep in snow. Rei and Zidane are visibly shivering, but I'm glad to be wearing Michael's coat. My lips twitch upward at the thought of him. It seems like, when we left Lindblum, I left behind a large part of my depression. Being around people must have lifted my spirits or something.

"You can get off me now," Sasuke advises. Grinning, I let the warrior go and take a step back. We're above the Mist, but there isn't much land. It seems to be a complete drop off about twenty metres away from the building on all sides.

"We're on top of Alexandria Plateau," Lilka notes when she sees me looking around. "Now let's go inside."

She throws the used up stone (it's now a dull black) onto the ground and grabs the handle for the door. What am I to be expecting, exactly? Some kind of underground academy were everyone is pasty from lack of sunlight?

One by one we all walk into the building, which is white and entirely featureless with the exception of a large triangle on the floor. Well, it's the outline of a triangle. Which really doesn't mean anything when you think about it.

After everyone is inside, Lilka slams the door, cutting off the cold winds I hadn't really noticed while lost in my ruminations. She directs everyone to stand in the triangle, which is rather crowded. It's not a big building.

"You see," she explains as she taps one of the corners with her wand. It begins to glow in that same blue-green colour as the telegem. "they wouldn't have bothered sending out a third person with these two if either one of them knew how to enter the school. But, alas, this is needed."

She holds up the wand for everyone to see before tapping a second corner.

"I could use one of those if I wanted," Rei decries rather loudly. "I'm just so naturally talented that I don't need one. Unlike Mister Emo over there who can't use magic at all."

Sasuke glares at her dangerously, which gives me the chills for all the wrong reasons. She doesn't seem to be affected by it, though.

Lilka just shakes her head, climbs in the triangle (which is difficult, seeing as how we're all smushed together as it is), bends down, and touches the last corner. Then the entire outline of the geometric shape begins to go blue-green and the scenery disappears in another flash. The duration period is much shorter this time around.

When my ability to see returns, everyone spills outward onto a large, green lawn.

It isn't anything like I pictured Shikon Academy to be. What I had in mind was more befitting Hogwarts than this. There are five buildings, as opposed to one large castle, and they look kind of plain. Except for the one currently being defaced by a young blonde with a bucket of paint.

"Looks like your roommate's at it again," Lilka says to Sasuke.

"NARUTO!" Rei shouts as she begins jumping up and down, much to Zidane's delight. "I'm back!"

The other ninja turns around and waves excitedly before returning to his vandalism. What in the world have I gotten myself into?

Continuing to talk as though she were as tour guide, Lilka point out the two buildings to the far north are the dorms. The boys and girls are separated, naturally. I learn that the building in the center is the living quarters for the staff, as well as the headmistress's office. The edifice on the eastern side is for students of magic, and the west for those of science. Sounds kind of like how things are set up back on earth, if one wants to wade into the murky depths of broad and inaccurate stereotypes. Of which I absolutely have no part.

How the heck did I get a grass stain in these jeans?

"Well, I suppose we'd better go see the headmistress," Lilka sighs as though it's something she's dreading. Could the headmistress of this school be that bad? Must be a pretty awful tyrant. Though, it that was the case, then why send us here? Minister Croft and Regent Cid must have known something that we don't.

We begin to trudge across the green expanse. Rei is waving and calling out to various other students, some who look familiar and some who don't. Actually, I don't know most of them. Maybe it'll be good to be in a place where I can just get lost in the crowd. Nobody here knows me. I'm not a knight or a prince. I'm not even Zidane's friend or Michael's… Well, anonymity is one thing that nobody wants until they need it, I guess.

Some people watch as our motley crew passes by. Most of their eyes are locked onto either Sasuke or Rei, but a few manage to take in the rest of us.

We walk into that center building: the one where the teachers live. Everyone is quiet. There's no one about, and we don't even draw anyone out as we stomp through the quarters. "I'm so not looking forward to this."

Sasuke echoes Lilka's sentiments, but Rei is the lone voice of dissent amongst the three who know what's going on. "Come on, she's not that bad. I don't know why you guys don't like her."

"You only say that because she's a worthless drunk like you," Sasuke argues. My feelings of dread about this are increasing. I'm supposed to take care of Dagger in a hidden, magical school run by an evil, tyrannical drunkard? This is so not good.

"I don't get drunk that often." Rei's attempt to defend herself falls on deaf ears as we reach the door leading into the mysterious headmistress's office.

Lilka knocks on it, very slowly, and I can tell she's hoping it won't be heard. I'm half hoping her wish comes true. Then a muffled voice says something akin to, "Come on in." The door creaks open and I about lose it.

Sitting behind the desk, a large bottle of sake or some other type of alcohol in each hand, is Maison Ikkoku's most boisterous resident.

"Headmistress Ichinose." Lilka looks at the tiny (yet plump) woman and bows her head. "We're back a little early."

"Stop being so formal. You're a bunch of stiffs!" the woman laughs before emptying one of the bottles in one swig and chucking it at us. Rei catches it and examines the contents.

"Hey! You finished it off, you old bat!" the blue-haired girl shouts before shattering a window with it. "Now how are we going to celebrate my triumphant return?"

"Eh?" Ichinose looks up from her other bottle and eyes us. "There's plenty more. You should know that."

A full bottle goes flying to Rei. The girl catches it and rips the lid off impatiently. Then she joins her leader in the time-honoured tradition of drinking her butt off. What the heck is going on here?

After each one is a little tipsy, the headmistress finally notices the three who aren't her students. "Who are you people? Rei, am I seeing double of you guys or something? Because I think Sasuke's grown a tail."

"Nope," the girl answers as she pulls Zidane close and hands him the bottle. He looks at it a little nervously before taking a sip. "These are my new followers. This little cutie is Zidane, the hot tall one is some sort of princess or something, and the other guy is Rick. They love me."

Excuse me? Someone is a little full of herself. And why didn't she infer that I was hot or something? The girl clearly has no tastes.

"And why wouldn't we?" Zidane asks after his third or fourth drink. "Just look at her."

"Thank you…" Rei slurs as she rips the booze from his hand before snuggling up insanely close to him.

What is wrong with these people? Wasn't I just about to freak out due to fear or something?

"You said something about a princess?" the little woman looks at Dagger through drunken eyes. "Since when so we have a princess?"

"Here." Sasuke throws a letter that lands on the desk perfectly.

She picks it up and scans it. When she's done, her eyes are suddenly much more sober, though still hazier than Rei's or Zidane's. "So, you're the runaway princess? You'll be safe here. Not even royalty has the power to pierce the protections around this school." For some reason, her eyes also lock onto me as well as Dagger. "You will all be safe here."

"So…" I look around speaking for the first time. "What exactly are we supposed to do here?"

"Tomorrow, you will be tested. As long as you are here, you must live as though you are students. You will eat, sleep, and learn here so as not to arouse suspicion," Ichinose explains while taking another drag from one of her bottles.

High school? Why the heck do I have to go back to school? That was supposed to be one of the bonuses of not being in modern times. My brain hurts from all of the stuff I've had to learn already about Mana, Drifters, and the various fashions on this world.

"Um, what do you mean by test?" I ask, since none of my companions seem interested in figuring this out. Stupid drunken Zidane. Stupid Dagger.

"To see which class you will be in," Lilka tells me since her "esteemed" headmistress is now sucking down the bottle of sake like a baby. "The three classes are based on one's magical ability. Rei and I are in the one for those who can use it, although there are separate styles of learning. Rei's was born with her magic, and mine was developed through hard work. Sasuke is from those who don't have magical abilities at all, but are blessed with the ability to manipulate their own physical strengths, their chakra. And then there are those who can neither use magic nor chakra. They become scholars. Of course, to even be admitted to the Shikon Academy is in credibly rare and you must possess incredible talent. To just be able to use magic is not enough, as anyone can do it. The ability is to be able to master it."

"Boring!" Rei slurs as she bumps into Lilka, crying a little as she spills some of her alcohol on the floor. Then she looks at Zidane and Dagger. "So, who's going to be bunking together? Last I knew, we were full up."

"Ah, yes, of course. Rick here will be staying with Sasuke." Ichinose laughs as she looks at me. Um… why is that funny?

"Great, now I have to live with another freak," the ninja complains. Geez, he's acting like I'm constantly all over him or something.

"What about this one?" Rei inquires as she begins playing with Dagger's hair again. I thought she'd given up on the princess?

"She can stay with you, Rei," the woman says as she pitches another empty bottle and reaches under her desk for a full one. How many has she gone through since I've been here?

"NO!" Dagger suddenly wails as she moves away from Rei and hides behind Lilka. Having lost her support, Rei falls and drops her bottle to the floor. What little bit was left spills out.

"Aw…" Zidane murmurs at the loss of booze until Ichinose tosses him another one. Can someone tell me if Gaia has a drinking age?

"Is there something wrong with Rei?" the headmistress asks the startled princess.

"I think she just doesn't want to get raped when she goes to sleep," Sasuke interjects.

Looking indignant, Rei sloshes back onto her feet and points at the ninja before yelling. "I swear, so what if I got drunk? How was I supposed that I stumbled into the wrong room and fondled the wrong guy. Most would have loved it. But no. You have to be Mr. Prude all the time!"

Sasuke returns to ignoring us.

"Fine. The princess can room with Ino and Sakura." It figures those two would be here if Sasuke and Naruto are.

"Crap. Then can I have the cute monkey?" the blue-haired girl whines as she slumps against Zidane.

"Nope," Ichinose laughs. "He can stay with Andar and Lesune."

I don't know those two. What a relief. Here I was hoping Zidane would end up with some nutcases. But instead of Rei he's with people I don't know.

"You are dismissed," the boss lady shouts with a wave of her hand before passing out on her desk.

That was interesting…

"Zidane, Dagger… If you two would come with me," Lilka offers to show them to their rooms for the night in addition to explaining to the people why they suddenly have new roommates.

"But I want to show someone something!" Rei whines before snatching away Zidane's bottle.

"You do too much of that as it is," Sasuke throws out before grabbing me by the collar of my jacket and walking away. I wave farewell to my friends as I'm dragged off by the sexy ninja.

Give me a minute to try to process everything that happened.

"…"

"…"

"…"

Nope, can't do it.

"Listen." Sasuke stops and pushes me into a tree, ignoring all of the girls looking at him. "Just stay out of my way and we'll get along fine."

Then, with that, he continues to drag me until we reach the dormitory. He is so cool.

We walk through the halls, various members of the male population of Shikon Academy asking Sasuke just who I am. He ignores them. Then we reach his room and he rips the door open before throwing me inside. I collide with something soft and warm before crashing to the floor.

"Geez, Sasuke, you're not even back an hour and already you're trying to kill me?"

"Shut up, Naruto," he says before slamming the door shut, leaving me alone with the blonder, dumber ninja.

"So, who're you?" Naruto asks when he realizes a human being.

"Um, I'm Rick, your new roommate."

The room is an example in contrasts if I've ever seen one. Half of it is spotless while the rest is like something out of my house back on Earth.

"Roommate? I wasn't told anything about getting a new roommate," he ponders as he sits back on his haunches. "Are you replacing Sasuke? Because you seem a lot cooler than him."

Me? Cooler than Sasuke? If it weren't for the fact that I'm uncertain as to whether the two are in love with or absolutely hate each other, I'd swear he was crazy. But, alas, he's just stupid.

"I'm new and they were short on rooms." A half-lie is harmless, isn't it?

"Oh. I was just getting ready to make some ramen. Want some?"

"What kind?"

Can I just say I'm glad he has yet to say "believe it"?

"Miso. It's really good!"

That's a vegetable, isn't it? Then it should be safe.

"Why not?" I shrug. I didn't exactly eat anything for breakfast today, and my stomach's gurgling.

"Cool. Want to take your coat off?"

I finger the scratchy material for a moment before answering him. "…no. I'm good."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: This chapter was, erm, random. And before I scare anyone off, Rick will not be romantically involved with either Sasuke or Naruto. But you can expect the plot to take a turn on the back-burner. The next few chapters will be more about character development. Then it will get REALLY weird.