A/N: Welcome, welcome! I want to thank: Makrciana, Sea Rover, MissMisc3, whatcatydidnext, XantheXV, Sunny, Newland Archer, Gary the Snail x3, TinkerbellxO, Leyshla Gisel, ForeverACharmedOne, dionne dance and lottielovebuzz. You are all wonderful!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Libertine.

Chapter 26

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Mark Twain

Her hands trembled from nervousness as she carried the tray to the chamber. A thin layer of sweat was making her skin shimmer, but she ignored the feeling of fatigue as soon as she heard the awful dry heaving that was coming from the Earl's bed. Quickening her footsteps, she pushed the door open and she saw Alcock leaning towards Rochester with the chamber pot in hand. Abandoning the tray on the desk, she approached the bed.

"I'll do it." She said quietly and Alcock turned to her with a grimace.

"Thank God." He muttered as she took his place.

Rochester looked up and sneered at his servant.

"Idiot." He muttered as he tried to regain his breath.

Alcock smiled sheepishly and started walking away.

"Go check on the guard! I haven't seen him doing his rounds today." She called and Alcock paused before he nodded.

"I wonder why…" He looked at her intently and she sighed, looking away from him. The Earl's household wasn't the richest one at the moment.

Alexandra pushed away the chamber pot as the Earl leaned back against his pillows, his face a grimace of distaste.

She watched as he drew the back of his hand across his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut against the violent churning of his stomach.

"Again?" she whispered and he simply shook his head from side to side.

She hesitated before she reached out and picked up the soaked cloth from the basin. She wrung the extra water and then tentatively placed it upon his forehead.

He grunted and sharply pushed her hand away along with the cloth.

"No." He hissed and she frowned.

"The doctor said that it helps with your fever." She objected quietly and he opened his eyes.

"No. Too cold." He shivered and turned his head away.

Alexandra abandoned the cloth and regarded him carefully for a few moments before she spoke, her voice soft, but firm.

"That is the whole point." Her voice was scolding, but she did pull the covers higher up his form.

"Let me sleep." He murmured drowsily and she shook her head.

"No. Not before the fever's down. The physician said-…"

"That I might never wake up! Yes!" He turned his angry gaze towards her, "That is exactly the point!" His lips curled in a sneer and she slowly shook her head, her eyes swollen from fatigue.

"How easy would that be…" She started and he snarled at her.

"Sinfully so." He fired back.

Alexandra leaned forward, "Oh, yes. And how posthumously famous you'd be." She murmured as she leaned so close that her breath fell on his lips, "John Wilmot, the Earl of Rochester who died because of alcohol poisoning. Wonderful way to be remembered."

Rochester smirked, "What makes you think I care?"

She blinked and then smiled, "Of course you don't." She nodded her head, "I know that much. If you did, you'd never leave and abandon your children in the care of a woman you surely resents her own son."

"I thought my dear mother saved me." He mocked and she shook her head.

"No, I did."

He cocked an eyebrow and chuckled weakly, "Arrogance doesn't suit you, Alexandra. You're far too soft for it." He pressed his head back against the pillow and she found herself missing the way his long brown hair would cover the silky fabric in waves.

"Pretending that you don't care if you live or die doesn't suit you either, my Lord. Too brave for you." She retorted calmly, provokingly and his eyes narrowed and then darkened.

"I won't get into a quarrel with you." His voice startled her with its resigned tone and she leaned back, puzzlement obvious on her face.

"Why must we quarrel in the first place? Isn't there a middle?"

"I don't care for middles and right now I don't care about your silly thoughts either." He looked away, silently dismissing her and it hurt.

"You son cries at night, do you know that?" She asked him suddenly and she saw his shoulders tensing up, "He misses his mother and now he thinks he has no father either."

"And you care why? It's on my conscience." His voice had an eerily quiet tinge to it and she stared at him, wondering if he believed anything he said.

"Your daughters refuse to return to Adderbury because they feel that no one is waiting for them." She pressed on, needing, wanting to provoke him and get a response out of him. She needed to know if he was as heartless as he pretended to be.

"Ah, my mother is not the warmest of women." His reply caused Alexandra's nostrils to flare.

"And now you're being cruel, John."

He turned his face sharply towards her, his lips curled in a grimace.

"I thought I always were." He replied and Alexandra's shoulders fell in defeat.

"Now you're a liar." She shook her head and he scoffed.

"That is a word that can never be used to describe me."

"Oh? Really? So am I to believe that you don't care about anyone?" She exclaimed as she placed her hands upon her hips.

"That's right." His voice was a tiny whisper and Alexandra blinked.

"John." She started and he inhaled sharply, his eyes closing for a moment.

"Don't speak my name in such a manner." He hissed at her as he turned dark eyes on her, "Just because I am here at your mercy doesn't mean that I will allow you to speak to me like I am your equal. After all," He smirked mockingly, "Last night you yourself claimed that you aren't. As a matter of fact I should think about selling you. I am sure a woman of your talents would have great success in the King's court-…"

"My Lord." She cut him off, her voice as cold and cutting as ice, "I assure you. After so many months under your tutelage, you would even get a bonus from the King. You're a great tutor in many fields." She took a step back and she watched as several emotions passed over his face, but one was the more prominent one; possessiveness.

Not looking at him, she turned and reached for the tray.

"You wench." She heard him murmur in an odd tone as she picked up the cup of water.

"Do not ever think that you can leave me." He informed her as she returned to him and brought the mug closer, "I doubt you could please the King anyway. All he likes to do is sit there. Reversing roles is not your forte."

Alexandra paused, "Insulting my skills in the bedroom is a weak argument, my Lord." She started as she ignored the sting in her eyes, "But I do have a question." She leaned forward until her hair was brushing his cheek and neck, "If you hate me so much, why don't you dismiss me?" Her voice quivered and he took a deep breath, releasing it with a sigh.

"I don't…" he started, but he stopped himself short, "Get out, Alexandra. I want to sleep." He muttered as he turned away from her, closing his eyes and shutting her off.

Alexandra was glad to be dismissed. She disappeared quickly in a billow of skirts and so she missed the brown eyes that followed her with self loathing.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"I don't understand what you're saying." Alexandra started and Alcock nodded his head in agreement, "You are paid to do your work, not slack off in the back garden with a bottle of gin."

The guard shrugged, "I ain't getting paid so I ain't going to do my work."

Alexandra took a step closer, "Lower your voice. Have you no respect at all? You are in the house of an Earl."

He snickered, "Some Earl he is."

"Lewis!" Alcock hissed and Alexandra nodded.

"Alright, what do you want?"

"Me money."

"You got your money-…"

"Nah, ma'am. That what last month. What about now? The King ain't paying for me expenses anymore and the-…"

"Lewis!" A voice rang in the air around them and Alexandra flinched while Alcock smirked.

"Now you'll get it, prick."

"Alcock!" Alexandra gasped and slapped his arm, but Rochester's voice came again.

"Lewis, get in here. Now."

The guard gulped and straightened before he headed for the room next door.

Alexandra leaned weakly against the desk and then followed after the guard with depredation.

"Me Lord." Lewis acknowledged with a tiny bow as Alexandra joined him and the Earl sneered at him.

"Leave the respectfulness aside. We both know it is not sincere." Rochester leaned forward and gazed at the man, "Who do you think you are?" He asked very quietly and the man didn't look up.

"Woodstock's guard."

"Yes…Indeed. What is your duty?" The Earl started as if speaking to a child.

"T-to guard the manor."

"Oh? Really?"

Alexandra almost laughed at the look on Rochester's face. It was a combination of mock amusingness and shock.

"Aye."

"And what have you been doing so far?" The Earl asked more darkly and the guard looked up then, defiance in his gaze.

"I haven't been paid, me Lord! How am I to work when-…"

"Who is responsible for your payment, Lewis?" Rochester cut him off and Lewis frowned.

"You, me Lord."

"Me, yes." The Earl threw the covers away and swung his feet off the side of the mattress, "So why the fuck have you been complaining to my housekeeper? Hmm? Because she's a woman and she can't handle you?"

Alexandra gaped at him, "I can-…"

"Shut up, Alexandra." Rochester hissed, his eyes widening in warning and she quickly shut her mouth.

"I was told you was sick, me Lord. I didn't-…"

"But I wasn't sick to listen to your annoying horsy voice coming from my study, yes?" Rochester glared at the man and then reached for his nightstand, "If I hear you complaining while others haven't gotten paid in months I will cut off your prick and feed it to the pigs." He threw a pouch of money towards Lewis and he caught it clumsily, "Am I clear?" He murmured and the guard nodded quickly, his eyes wide with shock.

"Good. Now get out of my sight." The Earl dismissed him with a curt wave of his hand and Lewis quickly departed from the room with gleeful eyes.

"There goes my payment." Alcock muttered from the doorway and Rochester growled.

"Shut up, you idiot!" he hissed and Alexandra swallowed hard, "If he goes to the King and make complaints they might take Woodstock from me! Now shut up and go and take a bath! You smell like a pig." Rochester leaned back against the bed and rubbed his temples while Alcock grinned.

"Aye, me Lord." He disappeared and the Earl shook his head in irritation.

"Idiot." He muttered and Alexandra bowed her head, ready to leave, but his voice stopped her.

"Wait."

She froze, not sure if she was ready to get into another fight with him.

"My Lord?"

"Come here." He looked up at her, his expression resigned and his eyes alight.

She gulped, "Um…"

"Come here." He repeated quietly and she moved forward.

"I need some water and some mint." He murmured and she nodded before she quickly poured him a cup and handed it to him. He tried to sit up, but he was too weak.

"Help me." He muttered and she placed a hand on his back, supporting him as he drank.

After a few sips, he pulled away and nodded, "Now the mint."

Alexandra stepped back and reached for the box in which he held the leaves.

"Perhaps you should eat something light first? I have soup."

"Not now. Give it to me." He shook his head and parted his lips in invitation.

Carefully she placed the mint in his mouth and she watched as he chewed. He sighed and closed his eyes, obviously glad that the taste of vomit was washed out of his mouth. After some time, he spat the mint into the chamber pot and looked up at her as she stood next to the bed.

His hand reached out, his fingers moving forward to touch a fold of her skirt. She startled and almost flinched, and he paused with his hand in midair.

His eyes locked with hers and she watched him as he swallowed hard, a painful expression on his face.

"Do not fear me, sweet." He started and she blinked in surprise, "You're the only person who…" He closed his eyes and let his words trail off.

"I…I do not fear you." She whispered and his eyes opened.

"Lean forward." He murmured and she hesitated briefly before she obliged. His fingers touched her cheek, brushing gently over the faint red mark there and she shivered.

"I do not hate you, Alexandra. How could I?" He murmured hoarsely as his fingers hooked on the hair behind her ear.

She licked her dry lips and reached up to cover his hand with hers.

"You're always so angry with me…Most of the times I don't even know what I do wrong-…"

"Shh," he hushed her and pulled her forward, his lips parted and his eyes hooded, "No more words."

Her eyes widened as he closed the gap between them and kissed her. Her nostrils flared at his still smoky scent and she gave in to the surprisingly soft kiss. His fingers brushed over her naked earlobe and he paused, his tongue lingering on her lower lip before he pulled back a little.

"Where are your earrings?" he murmured.

"I…"

"Did you lose them?" His features were confused, his eyes narrowed.

"No…They are in my chamber." She replied a little guiltily and he inhaled sharply.

"I see." he muttered, "Wear them."

"But I can't be seen with such jewelry while the-…"

"I said wear them. You want to please me, don't you?" He asked her more quietly, his voice a seductive melody that caused her skin to tingle.

"My Lord."

"Yes, you do…You crave to please me like I-…" He stopped himself in time and she blinked in confusion.

"Like you what?" she breathed and he took a long breath.

"Wear them. Now prepare the tub for me. I am filthy." He released her with a last kiss on her nose and she straightened.

With a last, puzzled look at him she walked away to do his bidding.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Finally." He muttered as he leaned back in the tub, the warm water up to his stomach.

Alexandra shook her head, "It was your choice to leave." She reminded him and he rolled his eyes.

"I cannot imagine myself without a head." He told her as she lathered up a cloth and started washing him.

She passed it over his shoulder and he smirked a little. The image he made reminded her of his old self a little.

"Is that right?" she mused and he nodded as he reached out and picked up the cup from the low stood to his side.

"Hmm…How would I kiss my wench if didn't possess a mouth?" He wondered out loud and she broke into a small smile.

"You'd be better off without it…It is too dirty." She rubbed the cloth over his chest and he grinned a little. He brought the cup to his lips and once he took a whiff he grimaced and growled.

"Chamomile?"

"Hmm. It will help you relax."

"I am relaxed enough."

"I don't think so." She shook her head as she touched his still warm forehead.

"I am not an invalid." He murmured as he took her soapy hand and guided it towards his thigh, "Surely you could give me something stronger." He pressed her hand between his legs and she pursed her mouth, giving him a sharp squeeze in retaliation and causing him to hiss and chuckle hoarsely.

"Your rough manipulation will have the opposite effect, my dear. Surely you know that." He drawled huskily and she slapped his hand away.

"Actually, I don't." She muttered as she continued washing him, ignoring the darkening of his eyes.

"You awful wench." He muttered as he reluctantly took a sip from the warm liquid.

Alexandra smirked a little and he growled.

"Oh, don't look so pleased. I am just tired of vomiting all over my bedcovers." He snapped as he put the cup away and grabbed the soap from her hand to lather his hands. He let the soap drop to the bottom of the tub and then reached for his stomach, slipping his hands lower.

Alexandra sighed and reached inside the water to find the soap and she froze.

"What are you doing?" She whispered as her hand bumped against his.

He leaned back and regarded her with hooded eyes and a crooked smirk, "Well, I had to take the matter into my own hands so to speak." He groaned softly and before she had the chance to pull her hand from the water he grasped it with his free one.

"Don't blush." He murmured as he pressed and curled her hand beneath his own, pulling her closer in the process, "I've missed you." When her fingers touched him he moaned quietly and leaned forward to catch her mouth.

Alexandra reached out to hold onto the bathtub with her free hand, trying to steady herself as he kissed her.

"All the while I've been missing you." He breathed into the kiss and when her hand moved on its own he placed both hands on her face, cupping her cheeks and pulling her in for another kiss.

"And then I hurt you." His teeth bit into the tender flesh of her bottom lip and she gasped when he hardened even more in her grasp.

A hoarse moan echoed in the washroom as he bucked and his lips parted in a fierce snarl.

"You've always brought out the worst in me…You make me mad and then you go and make me feel ashamed." His hand covered hers again and he squeezed her fingers around his arousal, pulling her into another kiss.

Alexandra pulled back and his eyes opened, watching her, studying her until he groaned and reached his peak with a choked gasp.

"Alexandra." He breathed as he slumped back in the tub and pulled her hand to his lips, kissing her fingers one by one and then her wet palm.

"I've missed you too." She murmured breathlessly and he looked up at her before he grinned.

"Come here." He whispered as he pulled her closer, his fingers hooking on her neckline and tugging sharply, "Get out of that."

"My Lord." She gasped and his eyes narrowed.

"Don't dare deny me. Get in."

"John." She shook her head and he groaned.

"My name upon those lips is the most seductive of sounds. Be careful when you say it." He said with a groan of desire.

She laughed and he inhaled deeply.

"Send word to Adderbury tomorrow." He said as he brushed his nose against hers.

She paused with wide eyes, "Adderbury?" she whispered and he nodded.

"Send an invitation for my son." He replied shortly and Alexandra's heart thundered wildly in pleasant surprise.

"Alright." She murmured with a smile and he rolled his eyes at her expression.

"You silly nit." He cupped the back of her head and pulled her to him, ready to haul her into the tub, but then a voice interrupted them.

"Me Lord! Me Lord!" Alcock's voice earned a groan from the Earl and Alexandra quickly pulled back.

"Me Lord!"

"What?!" Rochester barked and Alexandra giggled a little.

"There is…There is someone here for you!" Alcock called from behind the door and Rochester frowned.

"Who?"

"Lady Castlemaine." Alcock replied and Alexandra gasped while the Earl scowled.

"What does the King's whore want with me?" He muttered and Alexandra clicked her tongue.

"My Lord."

He groaned and pointed towards his robe, "Hand me that and then go out to welcome the lady."

She brought him his robe and he slipped into it. He tied the knot and when she gave him a pair of dark breeches he rolled his eyes.

"Let the show begin." He muttered as she walked out of the room.

He waited for a few moments before he took his leave too, his expression bored.

When he arrived at the parlor and saw Lady Castlemaine's face he realized with an inward smirk that the woman meant business; serious business.

End of chapter 26

Author's note: Thank you for reading! I know, shorter than usual, but for a reason! Why do you think Lady Castlemaine is there? Hmm? Thoughts?

Until next time!

Xxx Lina ;o)