We Raise Ourselves Up
~o~
"Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places I didn't know
I broke everything new again
Everything that I'd owned
I threw it out the window came along
Extreme ways I know will part the colors of my sea
It's a perfect colored sea
Extreme ways that help me
They help me out late at night
Extreme places I had gone
But never seen any light
Dirty basements, dirty noise
Dirty places coming home
Extreme worlds alone
Did you ever like it then?
I would stand in line for this
There's always room in life for this
Oh babe, oh babe
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh babe, oh babe
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Extreme sounds have told me
They held me down every night
I didn't have much to say
I didn't give up the light
I closed my eyes and closed myself
And closed my world and never opened up to anything
That could get me at all
I had to close down everything
I had to close down my mind
Too many things could cut me
Too much could make me blind
I've seen so much in so many places
So many heartaches, so many faces
So many dirty things
You couldn't even believe
I would stand in line for this
There's always room in life for this
Oh babe, oh babe
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh babe, oh babe
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Hold me, oh babe
Oh babe, oh babe
Then it fell apart, it fell apart Oh babe, oh babe
Then it fell apart, it fell apart Oh babe, oh babe
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh babe, oh babe
Like it always does, (always does), always does (always does)"
~"Extreme Ways" by Moby
"Why do we fall? So we can raise ourselves up"
~Thomas Wayne in Batman Begins (2005)
August 1541
In the morning, Lady Clifford took their small child to bed. He had come early and Lady Hertford was still in no condition to stand as his godmother so Lady Surrey, the women's younger sister stood in her place.
"Isn't he beautiful?"
"He is Your Highness." Edward answered to his nephew. "Can I keep him?"
Henry laughed and told him to return he babe to his mother. "Thank you, there, there little dragon." Bella soothed. "He is fine Your Majesty." Bella said to her father knowing what was running through his mind.
"He is, may I?" Bella nodded and handed him to her father. "He is heavier than Charlie albeit smaller. No cause for alarm I suspect." Henry said looking over her shoulder at Philip, it was not customary for he man to be in the same room waiting to be presented with his child after the baptism. But as Philip made it known when he took his wedding vows and stood before him defending their union, he was no ordinary man.
"He looks like his mighty grandfather." He commented gazing into his son's green eyes were the only feature that made it known he was his son.
"He is." Henry boasted showing off the newest addition to the Tudor cradle. He turned to Maggie, the youngest of the Three Graces. "Where is Mary? Is she alright?"
Maggie nodded, she was terribly sorry she could not come –she explained but she sent their sister and her nephew her best wishes.
A frown passed across Lord Hertford's face. It was known that they were not yet on good terms. Henry returned the babe to his mother -he was truly grateful he had been born healthy- and along with his Queen, who had remained silent throughout the whole ceremony, he decided it was time to make visit to his middle daughter.
"Congratulations sister, I did not get our father to visit during Eleanor when she was born but I guess you being the oldest sister, gets to have the bounty and all."
"Sit down Maggie and quit your yapping. Father has given two titles to young Eleanor, not even when he was married to the great whore was he this gracious to his women."
"Do not compare, she was a whore to your standards of stained blood while my Eleanor has the sunlight in her hair and my sapphire eyes, big difference there. I suppose I should be grateful that little Philip has a modest title not to overshadow his sibling and royal uncle's."
"Let us pray she does not turn out like her Aunt, silent Maggie." She teased using her old nickname.
"Who sister? The hot blooded Angel of Wales as you used to call her or yourself Belle-Belle?" Bella glared at her.
"Very funny sister but if you must know Mary was never that hot blooded, I am talking about our youngest sister, you know. The other one."
"Ah that sister" Maggie's eyes widened, pretending a big realization had at least dawned to her. "Well I cannot be saying much for her. Such a sweetheart, poor thing."
"You love her and she loves you."
"Correct."
"That is good then but I warn you, be careful where she lurks."
Maggie sighed. "Be watchful of your tongue Bella, children do not forget what they hear, remember Mary's children, they have inherited the worst of our family's traits, Bess I fear is the same. She can hold a grudge for years to come and if you fail to indulge in her vanity-"
"I shall never indulge in her vanity." Bella cut off. "Ouch! Damn stitching!" She complained throwing her embroidery. Maggie went to pick it and finished it for her.
"Patience my dear sister, patience and you shall achieve wonders. Ah there it is!" Maggie handed Bella the beautiful embroidery with angels and an auburn haired maiden in the middle with a golden crown on top.
She did not know what game Maggie was playing but she had always been the best player and she knew that their younger sister was listening outside the door and she had fallen exactly where she wanted her to, convincing Bess that Maggie would always be her eternal friend and that unlike Bella she could always count on Maggie for everything.
Bella devoured every inch of her husband's mouth. "You are mine sweetheart, you are mine." He said, she pinned him down to the bed and gripped his shoulders with strength she did not know she had. "No my love you are mine and we are going to play one sick but tasty game."
He groaned.
"Yes that game except this time you will be suckling from my neck while you fuck me over."
"Dear Lord Bella you blood sucking succubus, you want to send us both to hell!" She must be a witch, he decided because no other woman drove him this crazy. Oh there had been other but none as wild and lust driven as Bella.
"Enough talking, start drilling." Philip did not need to be told twice, he pushed hard and started drilling earning strong moans from her.
The guards outside who had seen and heard it all from their liege, could only smirk and imitate the love sounds from their love making.
"Oh, ah!" It was like that every day, one of them a pious man thought that being assigned to the eldest daughter he would get more time to practice on his prayers but the King's daughter was worse than he was.
It had to be her mother's Spanish blood. "How much more can he endure?" He asked as the German Duke gave a powerful cry, overshadowed by his wife's screams that were loud enough to wake the entire castle.
"You are lucky, last time he fell asleep she had to slap him twice"
"And how would you know this?"
His partner smirked and pointed to the keyhole. "Ain't much but you could see the left side of her arse and what a glorious arse it is, they don't make women finer than that anymore!"
"If His Majesty heard you-"
"You think His Majesty cares who she fucks? She is his favorite daughter, if she were to fuck all of London nobody would care."
"Thank God we have the Prince as our future King." He did not think what England would be under a woman! And not just any woman, his friend pointed out, but a godless heathen who refused to embrace any church, including her late mother's church. He crossed himself, trying to block her from his mind but she continued to moan more provocatively and his companion, Liam, did not make it better for him.
Oh, why did the King have to replace his partner with this lecherous youth?
Philip submitted her with such force, he rolled over, inverting their positions so he was on top. "Damn you sweet vixen, I will die before I can be parted from you." He kissed her roughly, biting every part of her face until he came to her breasts and her midsection and he did not stop there, he went all the way down to her sheath …
"Ah! Yes, yes, yes Philip! Oh God Yes, fuck me dear, fuck me!"
The younger one could barely contain his laughter now, "Told you so."
"Dear God" The older man crossed himself, though he did not believe in the old faith anymore, God helped them if this woman became Queen! God help them all!
"You win!" Kate screamed tapping on her brother's head. He chased her across the fields of their new home. The King had sent them to join the Prince's household. They had everything they could have here, there wasn't anything to want.
"Look at me Aunt!" Kate screamed to her Aunt, Margaret Douglas who clapped her hands happily at her oldest niece.
"You look just as beautiful as Aphrodite herself." The young woman complimented, "But don't stain your dress, your grandpapa will be furious if you spoiled another dress."
"I don't care for dresses Aunt! When I grow up I am going to be a warrior Queen just like the old fairy goddesses."
"Dear child what nonsense has your mother filled your head with?"
"No nonsense Aunt Meg, there is only one God, the rest are trifles, even Bess knows that."
"Well Bess may think to know many things but she is hardly an experienced Aunt like I am." Kate giggled as Meg pinched her colored cheeks.
"Look at you my snow white beauty, you are getting lovelier any day, but a rose does not run around wild dirtying herself up." She chastised lightly. "Come your grandpapa will be here any minute."
She took the young girl to her chambers where she helped her get ready for another visit of her grandfather. Since they came, their grandfather had visited more often and the Prince could not deny he was happy to see his father but as for the reason of his visit it upset him that he came to see his niece and nephew more than him.
It was no secret, they were healthy, they were energetic, playful, open minded, everything he was not and his older sister, Elizabeth, pretended to be.
"That is it." Meg praised holding both hands to her mouth, astounded at her own work. She had done wonders and made a Lady, literally in a question of minutes of her niece.
"How do I look?" Kate asked, not in the least worried.
"Like a Princess." Kate smiled and looked herself in the mirror, her smile instantly faded.
"I look stupid."
"Nonsense you look every inch as a Princess!"
"I look stupid! Aunt Meg" Kate groaned. "I do not want to dress in these silly garments, I want to wear armor like the old Queens of England wore, Meg of Anjou wore armor, so did Matilda and the Celtic Queen, Boudicca of the Iceni."
"Yes and where are they now?" Meg asked laughing, slapping her shoulder playfully. "Boudicca was dragged before a crowd of Roman soldiers, she and her daughters were raped and then she was raped and further humiliated after she lost in the final rebellion of her people against the Roman occupants. Meg of Anjou lost all hope when her son was killed and Matilda when Stephen took her throne. All these Queens were losers and remembered as tyrant women and shall be for many years to come for what they caused to this great nation. They brought the trouble on themselves."
"No they did not. The men around them did, if men were not so stupid as some women in believing in romantic bitches,"
Meg glared at her niece but let her continue, intrigued as to what the child of her wildling cousin had to say.
"-and notions of chivalry they would have taken the English throne."
"But they didn't."
"But they would have if people were not so stupid. What good is 'oh I am a commoner and fell in love with the King who left his wife for me and now has given me everything and my children will be Princes and we will live happily ever after.'"
"You are quoting Anne Boleyn."
"I am not quoting anybody. It is a tale as old as time. Girl leaves home, ensnares the King, he leaves his rightful wife, he and his new Queen live happily ever after. It is stupid, Elizabeth Woodville thought she could do the same and all she did was plunge the country into another civil war."
"Elizabeth Woodville was a dreamer, you cannot fault women for wanting to better themselves." Meg defended, though she had no love for romantic heroines, she loved the notion like her grandfather of being in love. She had her eye set on a certain courtier who also had his eye set on her as well. He was the sole reason why she had been friendly to the Queen and begging Bella to find a potion, anything to make the Queen pregnant, for her success depended on the Queen's success to get with child. At this point she would welcome any child. She and Charles longed to be together.
"Dreamers are not the problem, Charlie is a dreamer but he would never do something stupid as give half his kingdom for a woman, let alone love. The King though was more stupid. If he had used his head instead of his lance he would not have botched the York's success."
"How do you feel for Richard? Also an idiot, villain or is he an angel in your book?"
"None, he was a simple man, a man born on the right side of the blanket but a simple man nonetheless who had no right to the English Crown and with extreme illusions of grandeur."
"He took it."
"Yes and he was stupid. If he would not have botched that execution and searched for some excuse instead to execute the former Queen's brother no one would have rebelled against him, also he let a lot of loose ends and made many people unhappy. He was stupid. You don't submit a country by cruelty alone, you win it giving your enemies titles, lands, making them dependent on you then you strike, ripping their hearts out."
Meg's mouth was agape.
"What? It is the truth. The worst Kings in history have been deposed not by their cruelty but because they were stupid. Henry VII, there was a King everyone remembers as a near to tyrant and a miser when he did no different than his predecessor, Edward IV and restored the Court of Star Chamber and ended private liveries and installed a more efficient royal army that could be loyal to the King and only to the King alone. But he was not romantic, he did not have affairs or dallied with loose women and back ally sallies like grandpapa does."
In that moment Henry came and spread his arms out to Kate, Kate ran into his arms and remembering her courtesy, she curtsied and bowed her head respectfully to her grandfather. "Your Majesty."
"Look at you" Henry was delighted to see how beautiful Bella's child had become. "You look every inch of a Princess! Soon you will be a young lady with all the boys chasing you around. I will not allow that." He said with mock anger.
Kate laughed. He greeted his niece. He knew she entertained ambitions of marrying the Queen's brother, Sir Charles Howard. He would not allow it. Margaret's daughter deserved better than a mere knight and as one of his many heirs, he wanted to ensure all of his heirs came from the best stock.
A mere knight was not good enough.
"Uncle." She said holding her gaze down.
"Let me see you. I see that same look your mother gave me when she was angry, I can tell you are not but it is there nonetheless, you are lucky you did not inherit our father's eyes, he could freeze a man with that stare."
Meg chortled. Her uncle always had a way of liven things up.
"You are happy and you have done a wonderful job with your niece and nephew. I am truly grateful."
She knew what she meant by it and her spirits soared thinking of it, all the new possibilities this opened for her and Charles.
Charlie came to his royal uncle's bedchamber where his grandfather greeted him. As usual he greeted his son first but Charlie could tell it was him he wanted to greet.
"Your Majesty." Charlie said with an open smile, bearing his white pearl teeth. Henry smiled and cupped his rosy cheeks. Charlie was an image of him and Katherine like their daughters and his other grandchildren had never been. He certainly made him proud.
"Have you come to see my progress on my studies My Lord?" The Prince snapped his father from his thoughts. Henry turned to meet his son's steely gaze and nodded, forced to leave Charlie behind. It was only his smile that made Henry bare the evening alone with his son, that boy could smile, shoot and recite all the works of Plato, Aristotle and the gospels without need to pause or look back. Edward was good but it was not the same, he did it all out of memory while Charlie was a natural, he could add and comment to every phrase without fear of incurring the King's wrath.
Edward scowled, it was not fair. He was his father, he was going to be the King not Charlie but with Bella constantly being in his father's presence, she had become a thorn in his. Edward wished he could become King, his first action would be to banish Bella and keep a closer eye on his older niece and nephew.
"They are beautiful children Bella." Henry said when they were in the carriage on their way to Greenwich. "Why did you not stop to visit? Kate was asking for you and Charlie even dedicated a poem to you."
Her little dragon, he was becoming more enchanting each day. Her heart ached for both of her children, she wanted to hold them, rock them in their arms and sing to them but she explained why she couldn't. "They need to know they could handle it. I hated my mother when she sent me away-" She said, the air in the room silently being sucked out. "-I hated her when she would rarely visit me and I even hated you at times for taking her side."
"It was never my intention." He tried. That was all Katherine's idea, he wanted to have Bella to raise on his own but Katherine was always stubborn as a mule.
"I thank her now for it. I would not be the person I am today if it were not for her intervention, if I had been raised by you and mother I would have been just another girl, clinging for her father, deprive of any will or conscience. I have seen how Mary's children are and you have probably heard it too."
Henry sighed. Aye, he had heard it. "They are not good children father, Arthur mayhap but the girls are wild and terrible."
"Your sister writes to me that Anne is improving."
"I do not doubt she is but Meggie, if you heard or seen Meggie you would know she hates her father, and you know who I am referring to. Her grandmother has done a fine job looking after her and her siblings but I fear what will happen when Mary and Edward bring them back try to."
"She is a good child." Henry attempted but Bella was not persuaded. She had met Meggie on various occasions and despite her progress with Lady Seymour she was extremely hostile to her father.
"That is why I can't have my children dependent on me. They need their mother but they need their courage more. It is a cruel world outside and they need to have the tools to face it otherwise they will fail and the wolves will eat them alive."
"You see enemies everywhere, don't you Bella?" Henry asked amused. He guiltily wished she could have been born a boy. In these few months he had found himself to regret many things, the way he dealt with Anne, the way he ensnared Jane and their son ultimately led her to her doom , the way he called Anne of Cleves ugly and finally, the way he treated Katherine.
How different things would be if Bella was born a boy, or their son had lived?
"I see enemies lurking in every corner father, including here." She said ignoring her father's glare, "If they can't look after themselves when I am gone who will? Why do we fall? So we can raise ourselves up again. I rather they make mistakes now than when they are too old and crippled by my love."
"It sounds still too harsh, love keeps a family alive."
"Love is the venom that weakens it when there is an excess of it."
He placed his hand on top of hers. "Whatever happens I am sure they will turn out alright, you raised fine and intelligent children my daughter."
"And Mary? Will you go see here? You have been planning a trip for days ever since Philip was born."
"I know and I have not given it much thought. I am truly grateful that Philip was born without illness, when you delivered him too early, I was worried-"
"Please do not say it. He is healthy that is all you need to know. When I woke up bleeding I really thought that I was going to die but there wasn't any pain so I thought that I had lost the child but as the pains started I realized I did not. And I am grateful, truly I am. I thought I was going to lose my son, seven months ... it was too soon and Philip was worried." She did not know what Philip would have done if she lost their boy? She often wondered if he would cast her off or leave her for a younger bride like her father often did.
"He would remain with you. Your husband is a good man, he would have been by your side day and night, he is a man of his word my daughter."
Bella smiled feeling grateful for the first time in her life she had her father with her.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, followed and favorited this story and my Beta Reader who motivated me to write this chapter. I will try to update soon as soon as I can.
R/R