Chers Angleterre,
Oh but mon petit oiseau you wound me! How could you not be thrilled to have recieved a letter from your wonderful big brother France? And you are very adorable, aside from those giant caterpillars you have growing above your pretty green eyes. Really Angleterre, you cannot be serious thinking that they are fine as they are! Ah but no matter, you are still mon adorable tsundere.
And mon petit amour, if you do not think about such things how will I ever be able to get through your bedroom door? Ah but never fear, l'amour will find a way!
Oh but Angleterre you are too cruel... *sigh* Oh, but mon petit Mathieu has told me that he has found a wedding ring at that cochon America's house, was it for you perhaps? To think that cochon has taken mon petit tsudere away...
But naturally you will give me all the details of your sordid nights together, oui?
Voulez tu coucher avec moi ce soir?
Francis Bonnefoy
P.S. What restraining order has ever stopped my brand of love mon cher? You will be seeing me in your bed with America very soon, non?
Francis,
Stop with the bloody pet names. And the fact that you would call yourself my older brother and then suggest I sleep with you in the same letter is very disturbing. You're as bad as Scotland. Shut your bleeding face. There's nothing bloody wrong with my eyebrows! And I'm not 'your' anything! I don't think about them because I don't want you within 100 feet of my home, much less my bed. And I don't bloody love you you twat.
I have no idea what you're talking about. And don't call him a pig! And no! Not that that's even happening!
No, I will not,
Arthur Kirkland
P.S. Never unfortunately. I can still bloody try. And I will not be seeing either of you anywhere thank you very much.