so everybody ran to the nearest mall so they could go to forever 21.
"gnc..." peter said. "I NEED MY CALORIES"
he ran into the gnc which hadnt had a customer in 205 days (the staff kept count) and the cashier promptly had a shock-induced heart attack and died. peter looted all the protein bars and shakes and powders and whatever the fuck he could and put it all in his backpack.
"damn it peter now we're gonna get ARRESTED you fucking RACIST" four screamed
"i didnt do anything illegal. he died of a heart attack so im keeping the product safe." peter said.
"im going to kill your fucking zombie cat" four threatened
"tobias you're a gutter slut"
"bitch"
"your mom gave birth to you through her infected prolapsed fucking anus"
"whore"
"i snorted your grandma's ashes with my dick and then i smoked your stillborn sister on my barbecue like the fucking jew she was cunt"
"peter please" al said "youre roasting him too hard"
"HES FUCKING GARBAGE" PETER SCREAMED
"honestly" tris said, giving brownie a furious pat between the ears "i agree"
"YES WE ALL FUCKING AGREE TOBIAS IS FUCKING GARBAGE"
"dont let them see it" four whispered "stay strong toby"
jake paul rolled by and taught four to dab on the haters.
"DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB" FOUR SCREAMED AS HE DABBED FURIOUSLY ON EVERYONE
BUT EVERYONE IGNORED HIM AND WENT TO FOREVER 21 BECAUSE FUCK FOUR HE'S A LOSER ANYWAY AND NOBOdY OVER THE AGE OF 15 LIKES HIM.
"ah yes we are at forever 21" christina said.
tris's nostrils expanded to take in the glorious scent of overpriced garbage clothing.
"yessususesnus" al said "this is so good it almost makes me remember something"
just then al started SPEAKING ITALIAN
"questa è stata una buona idea. grazie per avermi portato in questa cappella di santità."
"REALLY BITCH THIS STORY IS CALLED AL AND WILL LEARN SPANISH NOT AL SPEAKS ITALIAN WHILE WILL IS DEAD YOU FUCKING DUMB FAT PIECE OF SHIT" TRIS SCREAMED AS SHE PUNCHED AL'S BELLY WITH HER FOOT
"AAAAAAH MY INTERNAL ORGANS" AL SCREAMED BUT THEN HE REMEMBERED HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SPEAKING ITALIAN "IL DOLORE... È INSOPPORTABILE! SONO STATO UCCISO!!!"
"al shut up your belly fat protected you" christina said as she rustled through a rack of skirts. "o shit this looks cute"
brownie purred and wound between her legs.
christina got an idea.
"AAAAAAAA" AL SCREAMED "IM BLEEDING INTERNALLY"
"that's where the blood's supposed to be you retard" peter said
"you stole that joke" tris said
"shut your fat asshole stiff. you want me to roast your dumb ass too?"
"try me homo"
"ok fred phelps lookin jimmy neutron head pancake nipple havin great value version of herself ass"
"at least im not a fucking rule 63 of clove from the hunger games with down syndrome"
"i fucked your brother stiff"
"Jesus that fucking escalated" christina said, holding brownie in her arms. he was wearing the skirt. "ive got a pretty kitty though"
MEANWHILE AL WAS STILL ROLLING ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING "AAAAAH THE PAIN ITS UNBEARABLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOMETHING IN ITALIAN BECAUSE IM TOO LAZY TO OPEN UP GOOGLE TRANSLATE LMAO"
of course the epic roast session, the crossdressing cat, and the guy DYING OF INTERNAL BLEEDING on the floor was enough to attract the cashier's attention.
everyone looked up as the cashier came over.
"oh my god" peter said as he realized who it was "everything just came together"
"fuck youre right" tris said. "i cant believe it..."
the cashier grinned. it was...