Chapter Twenty-six: Don Mihoshi

It was a dark time for the Kingdom of Masaki. The Prince had been kidnapped and an evil sorceress was extending her reach over all the land. Now the fate of all who dwelled within that fair Kingdom rested upon a single, chosen champion.

'Wah!' cried Mihoshi. 'Kiyone look! Giants are attacking that farmhouse!'

'Lady Mihoshi those are just-' began Kiyone.

Drawing her sword Mihoshi galloped across the land toward the giants. With her bright sword, she began to strike them. 'En garde, foul beasts! I am Mihoshi Kurimitsu, finest knight in all the land and this is my Squire Kiyone! You are no match for us! I'm giving you one chance to back down before I get really mad!'

'Mihoshi…' began Kiyone.

Yet though Mihoshi struck with all her might she could not pierce the stoney hides of the giants. 'Ah! My weapon has no effect Kiyone! What do I do?!'

'Mihoshi!' cried Kiyone.

'Yeah?' asked Mihoshi.

'Those aren't giants.' said Kiyone 'They are just windmills.'

'Oh,' said Mihoshi looking up at them in surprise. 'my mistake. Well, wanna head to the tournament now?'

'Of course.' said Kiyone.

Later at the tournament, all the knights rode forward. They brought their horses to a halt before Lady Ayeka's pavilion. Kiyone watched with the other squires. At that moment a knight rode by and took off her helm. 'Hey, Kiyone. I see you're still stuck playing Squire to Mihoshi while the rest of us have already been knighted. You sure you don't want to retire gracefully?'

'Yeah, it'll save you a lot of humiliation when your mistress gets eaten alive out there.' said another.

'Believe me, I wish that would happen.' said Kiyone.

Mihoshi had absurd luck. Kiyone had seen this kind of thing happen before. Some absurd chance would happen and all the knights would end up in a pile on the field except Mihoshi. Kiyone's current guess was that she would avoid the combat inadvertently. Then everyone else beat each other up, and then accidentally knock the last one out.

Then came Lady Ayeka. The beautiful violet-haired woman regarded her subjects with poise. 'Greetings to all you noble knights. Prince Tenchi, my fiancee, has been kidnapped. The villain responsible is that foul, loathsome, homewrecking, demon Ryoko.' She seemed to be working herself into a frenzy, but then she regained control of herself. 'Many brave knights have already sought to free him, but none have returned.

'It is now clear that only the boldest and strongest knights among you will be able to face her and live.

'Thus there shall be a great melee amongst all of you to determine who is best suited to save Prince Tenchi. Should the leader fail, the next runnerup shall take her place. Some of you may die in the trials ahead but remember that this is for the good of Masaki.

'Let the melee begin!'

Every knight drew their sword and saluted. Unfortunately, Mihoshi saluted a little too enthusiastically. She ended up smashing the knight next to her over the head. That knight fell against the next knight in line, who in turn hit the next one on the head. What then ensued was akin to a line of dominos falling, one after the other. The only difference is that nobody ever got serious head trauma by getting hit on the head by a domino.

When the dust settled Mihoshi was the only person left standing. There was a long awkward silence. Then everyone broke out into cheers and applause as Mihoshi blinked in surprise. 'Did I win? Oh, I won! Of course, I did! I knew I could do it! I don't even know how I managed it, I can't see a thing in this helmet!'

'Be that as it may,' said Ayeka, 'you have now proven yourself worthy to go face the demon Ryoko and rescue my fiancee.'

'The demon Ryoko?!' said Mihoshi. 'But the demon Ryoko is said to be an invincible black knight! Everyone who has ever tried to fight her has never come back.'

'Yes, and the sacrifices of those bold knights will long be remembered.' said Ayeka. 'However with you on the case I'm sure- Mihoshi?!'

Mihoshi had been trying to sneak out the back way. However, Kiyone had seen this coming and caught her, dragging her back. 'Mihoshi get back here! You're embarrassing me!'

'But I don't want to fight the demon!' cried Mihoshi.

'You should have thought of that before you signed up for the tournament!' snapped Kiyone. 'What did you think the prize was going to be?!'

'Money. Chocolate. A lifetime supply of coffee.' said Mihoshi. 'I don't know! Waah!' And then she began bawling.

Princess Ayeka was beginning to think there might have been a mistake. 'Is this the finest knight in the land?' asked Ayeka.

'We're doomed.' said someone.

'Oh you don't understand!' said Kiyone. 'My mistress is not crying out of fear! She is shedding tears of joy at the prospect of meeting the enemy in battle. And also um, tears of regret that any being should become so evil as Ryoko.'

'Yep.' said Mihoshi, sobbing. 'Tears of joy and regret.'

We'll be going to fight Ryoko now.' And she dragged Mihoshi out of the ring.

In a shadowed room the wicked sorceress Washu looked into her crystal ball. She watched the scene as it played out. A smirk came to her face. 'So this is the pathetic fool who seeks to take my Tenchi from me? Well, we'll just see about that! Ryoko!'

Out of the shadows emerged Ryoko, yawning with a bottle of sake in hand. She wiped her eyes tiredly. 'What is it?'

'Look lively!' snapped Washu. 'A new knight has come forward to challenge us. See to it that they do not reach the castle.'

'Yeah, yeah.' said Ryoko, before finishing the saki. 'I'll take care of it.'

'And be careful not to scuff that black armor I made for you. It's expensive.' snapped Washu.

'Whatever.' said Ryoko as she walked off.

'Don't you whatever me, young lady!' snapped Washu 'If you don't take care of the clothes you are given I can't buy you nice things.'

The quest to rescue Prince Tenchi was not going nearly as epically as one might have hoped. Mihoshi was slumping in her saddle. Kiyone, however, was determined to finish the job.

'Come on Mihoshi.' said Kiyone. 'We've got to do this.'

'I don't want to fight Ryoko.' said Mihoshi.

'Oh come on!' said Kiyone 'How am I ever going to get knighted if we never do anything! And how are you ever going to get your name in the history books?!'

'Couldn't we just go fight some windmills?' asked Mihoshi hopefully.

'What windmills?' asked Kiyone. 'This is a flat, barren, blackened desert where nothing lives save evil spirits. And some orcs. Actually, why did Ryoko build her castle here? What is there here that is actually worth worrying about?'

'Maybe she likes the view.' suggested Mihoshi.

'What view?' asked Kiyone. 'Everything here is either dying or dead?'

'Maybe she likes privacy.' said Mihoshi. 'Or maybe her dark heart secretly feels guilty deep down inside. Maybe she's really a good person who doesn't want to hurt anyone. Oh, Kiyone we have to help her!'

'We have to help Prince Tenchi first.' muttered Kiyone.

'Well then I guess I'll just help myself.' said a voice.

Kiyone looked up at a hill and saw a black knight sitting astride a skeletal horse. Her spiky cyan hair was framed against the sunset and she reared upwards on her horse, lance in hand. Kiyone rode forward.

'Black Knight Ryoko!' cried Kiyone 'Today you answer for your evil crimes! For the white knight, Mihoshi stands ready to do battle with you!'

'Right, and where exactly is she?' asked Ryoko.

'Huh?' asked Kiyone, before glancing back to see Mihoshi trying to sneak away. 'Mihoshi get back here! You can't run away from a fight!' And she rushed over to try and drag her back by force.

'But Kiyone, she's the Black Knight Ryoko!' cried Mihoshi. 'No one who has ever faced her has lived to tell the tale! I know I should but… I'm just too scared!'

'Fine!' snapped Kiyone. 'I'll fight her myself then. Why they knighted you is beyond me!' And she rode back to face Ryoko, who was looking bored.

'So I don't mean to be pushy, but I haven't exactly got all day here you know.' said Ryoko.

'I will be your opponent.' said Kiyone.

Ryoko smirked and donned her black helmet. 'Alright then.'

Then she charged down the hill, lance lowered as she rushed towards Kiyone. Kiyone charged right back, and for a moment the two warriors rushed at each other. The thud of hooves was deafening, the flash of their armor in the sun was blinding. Then their spears crashed against each other's shields and shattered.

Both rounded and drew their swords, hewing at each other on horseback. Finally, Kiyone struck Ryoko across the helm and the black knight fell from her horse. Ryoko landed but was up in a minute and Kiyone dismounted to face her sword to sword.

The two hacked and slashed at each other. Their blades crashed again and again. Kiyone was doing really great!

'Go Kiyone!' cried Mihoshi with a cheer.

The fighting stopped. 'You know I gotta tell you, your master over there doesn't seem to get how things are supposed to work.' said Ryoko.

'She got knighted because of political connections.' said Kiyone.

'Well that explains it.' said Ryoko, before striking Kiyone across the helm.

Kiyone reeled and barely had time to recover before Ryoko unleashed her full power. Finally, Kiyone fell off her feet and hit the ground. Her helmet rolled away. Ryoko's sword was at her throat in an instant.

'Aha!' cried Ryoko. 'This fight is mine!'

'Fine,' said Kiyone, 'finish me then.'

'Who said anything about finishing you?' asked Ryoko with a smirk. 'You're pretty nice to look at, so I think I'll take you hostage instead.'

Then she raised her sword which began to glow with a bright red light. Kiyone was raised off the ground as her armor began to transform before Mihoshi's eyes. Kiyone's arms were forced behind her back as metal transformed into leather. Her long legs were tied to her hands, her armored boots becoming high heels. A bright orange ball gag formed between Kiyone's lips. The squire cried out in humiliation as Ryoko tied her to her skeletal horse.

'You can't take Kiyone hostage!' cried Mihoshi. 'She's my best friend!'

'Well then maybe you should have looked after her better.' said Ryoko, mounting up.

'No, wait, I'll fight you!' cried Mihoshi, drawing her sword.

Ryoko slashed out with her sword and the blade in Mihoshi's hand shattered. 'Like hell, you will, you only one that tournament because of a lucky blunder. You didn't even have the guts to face me in the first place. So why don't you go back to Ayeka and tell her to send her next runnerup because you aren't cutting it!

'In the meantime, I'll show your friend the hospitality of my dungeons.'

And she turned her horse to ride away.

'No!' cried Mihoshi. 'Kiyone! KIYONE!'

But there was no response.

Mihoshi was left to wander the wastes. She limped back to the forests until eventually, she collapsed in front of a tree, crying. As she did so a shadow suddenly fell over her and she looked up to see a spiky red-haired woman clad in wizard's robes.

'Well don't you look miserable.' said the woman. 'What happened young lady?'

'My friend, I lost my very best friend.' said Mihoshi.

'So you went trying to save the lost Prince hmm?' said the woman.

'Yes.' said Mihoshi. 'But I was too scared and helpless to fight Ryoko. Kiyone, she… she's always been looking out for me since we were children. She fought her instead.'

'And now she's a prisoner.' mused Washu. 'Tough break. Well, you'll just have to rescue her.'

'What?' said Mihoshi. 'But I'm a terrible knight! I could never beat Ryoko!'

'So you failed once. You can always try again.' said Washu. 'Although, you might need a little help to do it.'

'What kind of help?' asked Mihoshi.

'Some ways south of here there is a little grove and a lake within it. At the bottom of that lake, there is said to be a legendary sword. The Light Hawk Sword that can turn anyone into a great warrior.' said Washu. 'Long ago the old King Yosho tossed it in when he swore to never fight again.

'With its power you might just stand a chance.'

'Will you take me there?' asked Mihoshi.

'Sure,' said Washu, 'but I can't get it for you and getting it won't be easy. See, only a truly good person can get it, and I've got a couple of black marks on my record.' She began walking away and stopped to motion. 'Well? Are you coming?'

Mihoshi followed Washu through the woods until they came to a crystal clear lake. Its surface sparkled in the sunlight. It was more beautiful than anything Mihoshi had seen before.

'This is the lake of Tsunami.' said Washu.

'Wow! It's so pretty!' said Mihoshi. 'I've never seen anything like it! So um, uh, how deep is it anyhow?'

'No one truly knows. It is not fully in this world, you see, and so it varies from person to person.' said Washu. 'Farewell, Lady Mihoshi.'

Then the leaves blew around her and she was gone.

'What? But couldn't you point me in the right direction?' asked Mihoshi.

'What do you want from me?' asked Washu's voice. 'I'm just an enigmatic mentor with an agenda. I can't do everything for you.'

Mihoshi sighed and looked at the water. 'Well, I guess I'd better get started.'

Gradually she shed her armor. Then she began to draw of her outer clothes so she was clad only in her underwear which was pulled off soon after. Putting one long leg into the water. Gradually she waded in, enjoying the sensation of the water on her water.

Then she dove in. Down she swam into the river. Yet as she swam downwards she could still not see the bottom. Her breath began to run out and she was forced to surface.

'Oh, I can't reach the bottom!' she said 'It's no good! How can I save Kiyone!' 'Mihoshi…' said a voice.

A light began to arise from the water. Mihoshi felt a tingling and swam out the edge of the shore. She looked up to see a stunningly beautiful woman with blue hair arise from the water.

'I am Tsunami.' said the woman 'The guardian of the Light Hawk Sword. And you have been chosen to wield it.

Mihoshi scrambled back up the bank in fright. 'Me? But why?'

'Washu desires the Light Hawk Sword for herself.' said Tsunami 'For within it lie the power to rewrite reality as we know it.' The blade arose in her hand and flew to drive itself into the turf by Mihoshi. 'She means to use the energies inherent to it to reshape the universe according to her will. But she must never have it. You must keep it away from-'

'Right, okay,' said Mihoshi, drawing the blade and getting dressed. 'I'll go save Prince Tenchi and Kiyone right away! Washu won't know what hit her!'

'No, I want you to keep it away from her!' said Tsunami as Mihoshi ran off. 'Don't-' But Mihoshi was gone. Tsunami sighed. '…You know, if I weren't omnipotent I'd probably be a lot more worried right now. Whatever, I'm going to go read a magazine.'

Authors Note:

Once again, sorry for taking so long in releasing this. I had an original plan for the time and space adventures but it didn't work out. As a result I had to make up the new ones out of whole cloth.