Chapter 25: The Great (and Funny) Escape

Claus, Gilbert, and Ludwig had been sitting in their cell for some time—probably for a few hours—trying to think of some way to escape and get the Grail out of the Ticktockian king's hands. So far, neither one of them had come up with any ideas.

"Any ideas yet?" Vash called from his cell.

"No," a frustrated Ludwig called back. Then he crossed his arms and pouted. "This stinks. I want outta here!"

"Don't worry, we'll get out of here," Tails said.

Just then, they heard the door open and two guards dragging Sharnid and Felli into the dungeon. The whole time, Sharnid was yelling at the guards to let him go, until they finally threw him and Felli into a cell.

"Sharnid," Gilbert said. "How did you and Felli get here?"

"They caught us," said Sharnid.

"Yeah, no thanks to you and your horrible singing," Felli said back.

"Hey!" Sharnid whined. "My singing's the best, and you're just jealous because I can sing and you can't."

"He was singing?" Tails asked.

"Yes, he wouldn't stop singing "On My Way" from Brother Bear," said Felli.

Vash facepalmed. "You are so stupid. Maybe I'll beat you with my dad's Peace Prize instead of Roderich McPimp."

"What?" Claus asked. "My nephew's a pimp?"

"Long story," Gilbert and Ludwig told their dad.

"Anyone come up with any ideas yet?" Gilbert asked.

"Unfortunately, no," said Vash.

"Hey, shut up!" one of the guards, Weevil Underwood, yelled after banging on the door to the dungeon. Gilbert stuck his tongue at the door and gave Weevil the finger. Claus looked proud of Gilbert for doing that.

"I have an idea," Felli said telepathically. "Someone could fake being sick or hurt, and one of the guards will come by and see what's wrong. Then that person can steal the keys, and we can get the hell outta here."

"Daddy, she said hell," Ludwig said in a tattletale voice.

Gilbert grabbed Ludwig's ear. "Not now, West!"

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Ludwig whined. "Alright, alright, I'll shut up!"

"Gilbert, stop pulling your brother's ear," Claus said.

"Sorry, Dad," Gilbert said and let go of his little brother's ear. "Who'd be good at faking sickness or injury?"

"Got it covered," Liz said. She took out a picture of some modern art that looked asymmetrical. "Hey, Kid, look at this." She shoved the photograph in Kid's face.

"Oh no..." Kid said. "The asymmetry...it's horrible!" His nose spurted blood, causing him to fall to the floor of his cell.

"Kid!" Patty exclaimed. "Liz, why'd you do that?"

"Patty, you idiot," Liz said. "I had to. Part of the plan, remember?"

"Oh," Patty said in the same tone as Osaka from Azumanga Daioh.

A guard by the name of Seto Kaiba came in. "I heard screaming. What's going on back here?"

"I think my friend's sick," Liz said, feigning worry. "Blood just came gushing out of his nose, and he fainted!"

Kaiba took out a key to the cell. "Alright, let me get in there, and we'll take him to the infirmary." He unlocked the door.

"Now, Patty!" Liz said. She and Patty jumped at Kaiba and tackled him to the ground.

"Hey! What's going on here?" Kaiba yelled. "Get off me, you dumb broads!"

"I and Liz ain't dumb," Patty said.

"You mean 'Liz and I aren't dumb', Patty," Kid said; he was, by this time, awake.

"Stay out of this, or I'll show you the asymmetrical artwork again," Liz said to Kid.

"No! Anything but that! Pleeeeaaaase, I beg you, anything but the asymmetry!" Kid pleaded.

Liz and Patty both delivered punches, which knocked him out.

"That...takes care...of that," Liz said as she, Patty, and Kid exited their cell, using Kaiba as a doormat for their filthy shoes. Then they unlocked the other cell doors and let the prisoners out.

"Thanks, guys," said Tails.

"Yeah, way to think on your feet, Liz," said Sharnid.

"Actually, it was Felli's plan, remember?" Liz replied.

"Oh, that's right, Felli, I forgot about you," said Sharnid. He shivered when Felli fixed him with a death glare.

"Let's just get out of this place," said Claus.

"Okay," the Beilschmidt brothers said. They and the others ran out of the dungeon door as fast as they could, smashing Weevil behind the door without even realizing it.

"Ouch..." Weevil said. "Somebody…Rex...help me..." He fainted, and his glasses were broken.