He promised her that he wasn't upset by what happened. Disappointed, certainly, but not upset. They saw the well, took family photos in which he smiled in each one, and returned to the Arendelle castle with Anna and Else. She and she alone could see that the smile he wore was not a genuine one. He was far more than the disappointed that he'd claimed to be, but she didn't want to spoil Gideon's time by goading him any more than he wanted to be at the moment.
He told her everything in the days that followed, just as he always promised he would. He whispered the truth to her each night as they lay in bed before sleep claimed them. The book that he'd taken from his castle years ago was about this very situation. It was a tale from a different land, another realm entirely, where the story of the Dark One was a well told story. There, he was no more than a boogie man, used to scare children, but this single author had told a different tale of the Dark One, a tale of a guide that would lead the Dark One to the proper Guardian that might take the powers of the Dark One and leave him a man again with the proper wish. That was why he'd wanted the guide in Arendelle, when he heard the offer and of the river he thought perhaps the story had come true. That their guide would be the guide in the tale and the waters in the river the guardian.
He told her that it didn't matter, that he wanted to enjoy their adventure and their time with Gideon before school started again, but she could tell it had bothered him every day since they'd left that spot and would probably continue to bother him beyond. He'd gotten his hopes up, wanted desperately to become a man and shed his curse, now it weighed heavy as the dagger on his shoulders and she felt it on her shoulders as well.
She had to do something about it, but to discuss it around Gideon so early in all of this seemed impossible. So late one night, as her men slept and she stayed wide awake she concocted a plan to do just that. The following morning she asked Anna if she wouldn't mind keeping an eye on Gideon for a couple of days while they made the journey across the sea. Of course, she didn't. And she would do her one better. A royal vessel was about to depart for the very place she wanted to go, she'd send a letter that they were to be permitted to use the ships quarters and travel with them. They'd only be docked for a night before they had to return, Anna warned but she only smiled. A night was all they needed.
With Rumple obviously and utterly confused, they bid Gideon farewell and to behave until they were back, then boarded the ship that morning. Unlike the last time she'd made this voyage, hiding out in the bowels of the ship with a dozen other travelers who were all strangers to her, this time around they were given actual quarters. It was no more than a room with a bed that was nearly too small for them, a table on which food was brought to them, and a large window with bench seating that allowed them to look out the ocean through their long journey. Since their quarters were at the back of the ship they watched through the day, staying hidden and out of the way of the crew, as Arendelle and Gideon faded into the distance. She hadn't told him what this was all about, just informed him that Gideon was well taken care of, and that he would see in the morning when they made landfall.
Sleep was a gracious term for what they did that night, crammed into the space as they were he held her as they were forced onto their sides, swaying with the rocking of the ship. She couldn't deny that when the call for "Land-ho" came she was tired enough that it was tempting to burrow back against him and go back to sleep, but her curiosity got the better of her and slid free from his grasp, unsurprised that he was awake already, and reached for her cloak, a very special one she'd asked Anna for.
"You are aware it's still summer and not raining?" he questioned as he watched her clasp it under her chin and pull the generous hood up over her head. She was aware, but if she wanted to be safe she was also aware that the cloak was necessary for more than cold and rain.
"It might come in handy," she muttered instead. Her vision was restricted through the hood, it was like wearing blinders and then a wide brimmed hat when she kept her eyes down. But they made their way up to the deck, to the railing that would reveal land ahead of them and she worked up her courage finally to look at what awaited her. It wasn't what she expected.
She nearly lost her breath as she stared at the coast, at how different it was from the last time she'd seen it and yet how similar it was to the way she remembered it. She nearly cried at the sight.
"Belle?" Rumple was at her side, a hand at her back as her chest began to heave with effort to contain her joy.
"It's still there!" she exclaimed. "The castle it's…it's still there! Our summer home!"
She couldn't see his face, but she could feel the hand at her back twitch and a pause as he began to put it together. "This is…"
"Avonlea!" she exclaimed, unable to hold it in. "The day you came to get me it had fallen, I expected the castle would be a pile of rubble! But it looks whole! How-how is that possible?" she breathed. The last time she'd seen this place it had been a war zone, just before what she'd always assumed was the destruction of all she'd held dear. The sky had been red, the smell of burnt wood and ashes, the stench of death and loss had filled the air. She'd nearly wept for all that had been lost there but standing here now, looking out over it, her childhood home seemed returned to it's former glory. A bright blue sky, crisp clean air…the castle just on the mountain overlooking all of it just as it always had been. The white marble was gray, it didn't glitter the way it once had, but it did seem untouched by the disaster that had befallen Avonlea.
"Aye, it is!" She glanced over to see a brutish man staring at the two of them with a rope in his hand. His skin was stained with black which ran down his body in streaks because of the sweat and she smelled like alcohol but seemed sober enough as he watched her. Quickly she turned away and tugged on her hood, checking for it's security. "You remember the Ogre Wars then...you seem a bit young for them."
"I was a girl," she muttered, eying that damning gray streak brushing against her cheek. "How is the castle still there?" she questioned. "Wasn't this place taken in the war."
"Aye, for a heartbeat only. Avonlea was breached the day before the Princess made her sacrifice, but the beasts never penetrated the gates of the castle before they were pushed back and vanished the next day. Back over the mountains we heard, courtesy of the Dark One's deal with the future monarch.
"King never returned of course. They said there was too many memories of his wife and daughter and after the curse broke and past royalty chose to stay away, the new monarchy chose to leave it there without occupancy as a reminder of the past. The Princess was a beacon of hope for a lot of the people and the transition wouldn't have been as smooth if they claimed it. No one's been in there since then, everyone is too scared to defile the thing." From someone in the distance a name was called and the man stopped talking to them long enough to shout something back that made it clear he had to go. "Personally it gives me the creeps," he added as he walked away. "It's like a time capsule that'll never be opened."
Who better to open it but her? When the ship docked she made sure that her hood was once more secure but then moved up the hill with all the energy Gideon had when they'd gone to see the Spring of Eternal Life. Rumple trailed quietly after her, not asking questions or even begging her to slow down as she was drawn to that castle, to a desperation to see it after so long. It was remarkable to believe everything was gone and see it still standing perfectly. And yet…
Things were different. When she finally reached the dirt path that carriages had taken to bring her family into their home she noticed the walls of the palace were different. Flowers were laid out, lots of old, in varying stages of decay, but there were some that were fresh. And on the wall above it, in what appeared to be black paint, someone had drawn a very flattering picture of her that made her jaw drop. It was a memorial. Dedicated to her! To what she'd done, if the notes attached to the flowers were any indication.
"Thank you Princess for saving us from those beasts."
"May you find joy in your new life!"
"My children are alive today because of what you did."
"I pray you'll find the happily ever after you seek in your new land."
It was just as it had been after her mother died! They'd laid out flowers for her then too, with little notes of gratitude and love and even anger.
"You are a hero," her husband commented behind her.
It was the oddest thing. Everything inside of her rebelled at such a comment. Her mother was dead, her father alone for the rest of his life, which was partially his own doing but still…
She stood here today, husband by her side, son perfectly happy. She had a degree in literature and owned a town for goodness sake! She could remember a time when her sacrifice seemed like a sacrifice. From here it didn't look like that at all. From here it was the best decision she'd ever made in her life.
She quietly put the roses and notes back where she'd found them and left the portrait of her behind as she moved along the wall until she came upon the gates. Then pressed her face to them as she gazed inside and suddenly understood why the man on the ship had said it was "creepy". It was. Every time she'd been to this place the gates had been open, a guard had been in the little shelter beside them keeping watch, maids and servants had scurried across the grounds, dogs barked, children laughed, life had hummed and pored out of every crevice of this building. To see the windows boarded, the grounds still, and the gates locked, wrapped with a steel chain and padlock did give it the feel of a ghost house. But not even that would stop her.
"Can you get us in?" she questioned of Rumpelstiltskin, finally tearing her eyes from the palace to look behind at him. He made no noises or motions that answered her question, but suddenly she heard a click come from the gate and when she turned back the padlock was open, swinging freely. She clawed at it, desperately unwrapping the thick chain until she could finally open the gate enough to permit them. The gate squeaked. She'd never known it made that sound when it was opened or closed.
They were both quiet as they moved through the grounds, almost as if they were walking through a graveyard and it might disturb the dead, or at the very least the memories that seemed to rise up in the overgrown foliage around her. The door to the castle was locked just as the gate had been, but it was no match for Rumpelstiltskin and once they were inside the great foyer she was surprised by just how many ghosts she saw. The tables, the couches, the furniture was all covered with dusty white sheets to keep the amble dust at bay. And it seemed to have worked. Behind her she heard a great whoosh as Rumple pulled one sheet free to reveal a set of silver candelabras and a chest that she remembered always held a golden Fabergé egg. He used his magic to light the candles and she lifted the lid of the box to see that same egg she'd always known sitting right where it belonged. She closed the lid in shock and excepted one of the candelabras.
"It's incomprehensible how this is all still here! It's unbelievable that it hasn't been looted or destroyed in the curse!"
"I promised your Kingdom would be protected and it was, even from the wrath of the curse, though the people were not. As to the lack of looting, it's amazing what people will leave untouched when they believe it is haunted or hallowed."
She really only half heard him as she led him through the walls she had once walked, each hall coming back to her with every step. Everything was covered in white sheets and stored and packed away by servants but it all still resided there, as if waiting for her family to one day return and bring it to life. The silver in the dining hall was still there. The books in their library nearly brought her to tears, each one still stacked in it's proper place. Her father's office sat unused and dusty, the smell of papers and maps still permeating the air. And her family's quarters were just as they'd always been. Her mother's room still smelled like her, and she plucked a few items to keep from a hidden jewelry box she kept in a drawer. And then there was her room.
"Oh!" she exclaimed just before Rumple could push the door open, she moved quickly between him and it, remembering something she'd long since forgotten and feeling embarrassment creep up into her cheeks. "Just…understand that I was very young when this room was first prepared for me."
He stared back at her with blank, confused eyes. "How bad can it be?" he questioned, moving around her to get inside. The man on the boat was right. It was just like stepping inside a time capsule, though sheets covered all her furniture her instinct was to pull them off one by one and it did leave her husband looking around in a state of shock. "This is…a lot more pink than I expected."
For the first time since they'd set foot in this place she felt herself giggle and sat down on the bed, it's sheets and blankets were removed making it no more than a mattress but the rest of the room was outfitted with the color. White and pink, from her vanity to her chifforobe, her fireplace, and even the curtains by the window…all of it was pink and white.
"I was young when they asked me what colors I'd like and they made it for me. I grew out of it eventually but since I was here so infrequently it just sort of stayed this way. This room stood still long before the rest of this house did," she observed looking around. Her eyes fell on the little three shelf, pink and white, bookshelf that she'd used to house all her favorite works. Every last one of them was still there. She needed to find a bag of some kind. She imagined that this castle wouldn't stay untouched forever, eventually people who were desperate would sneak in as she did and pillage it, but she did want to take some things before that happened. Other things…she'd have to hold in her memory.
With a smile, and no fear for being seen, she rose from the bed and moved around her husband toward the shuttered window. She threw it open to reveal not the village, but rather her favorite part of this castle, her view of the ocean. Though she'd just spent time upon it to get here she inhaled deeply, the scent from her old room somehow different and far different than it was from down there. She felt Rumpelstiltskin's arms come around her and she held his hands at her hips, and she stared out at the sunset which hadn't changed at all over the decades as they swayed gently.
"I always loved this castle, the fun we had here, the smell of the sea every morning I woke up…it was a magical place."
But being in this room as an adult, completely alone, with her husband wrapped around her was giving her some ideas that she'd never had when she'd visited here. She blushed as she first thought about it and tried to shove thoughts like that away but when she felt his chest ease through a contented sigh and his cheek press to her own as he watched the sunset with her, those thoughts came far easier. They were nearly as wicked as when they'd explored the castle, and the memory of that encounter did not help that feeling to go away.
She turned in his arms with a feeling of resolution and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. They simply stared at one another for a long time, silently saying all the things they no longer needed words for before she stood on tiptoe and kissed him. Then kissed him again. And again, bringing him closer to her so that she didn't have to stay on her toes. She didn't know how many they'd shared before he pulled away breathless and asked "are you doing what I think you're doing?"
"Maybe," she laughed kissing his neck.
"Here?! You?!"
That alone was a very good argument to step away from him, but unfortunately it was also presented a very good argument, at least in her mind, to step closer.
"With the exception of a few minor incidents, I think you'll find that I was a perfect child, I have to make up for my lack of rebellion in some way. And my father would have a heart attack if he ever found out."
Rumple was silent for a moment as she continued to peck at flashes of skin, but after a moment she felt his head nod. "That's good enough reason for me," he muttered before gathering her up in his arms and kissing her again.
Freedom. It was what made things good between them, the reason, she believed, that they had such a successful marriage after so many years. There was no fear around one another, a true freedom to be who they truly were, whether that meant they were playful, well mannered, or afraid. Whether it was easy or difficult, they were free in each other. But as they lay on her bed minutes later, their chests heaving while she adjusted her skirts for comfort, she was suddenly aware that only one of them had true freedom. She could remember, so many years ago, how she'd longed for freedom from her father's castle, desired it above anything else. He'd given that freedom to her and yet...there had to be something she could do to give him his own freedom. Now that she knew it was what he truly wanted. There had to be something they could do.
"Did I hurt you?" he questioned suddenly, breaking the silence.
Her smile only grew. "In the best way possible."
"Is this why you didn't want Gideon here? Because you planned this?"
That thought made her laugh. "I didn't plan this exactly," she denied. She'd planned to come here but what happened to have led them to both being sprawled on the bed had been spontaneous. If she'd have known it was going to happen it only would have been one more reason not to bring their son. "No, I…I didn't want Gideon here because I didn't know what I'd find. You know as well as I do that a returning former claim to the throne can threaten even the gentlest and securest of rulers, even with Regina as the one who is officially in charge. I just didn't want to take any chances Gideon would be caught up in all of it if I was caught."
"Thus the cloak you've been hiding under."
She nodded. "And besides, I didn't want him to think that I was coming back to claim my throne or drag him into this life. I brought us here because we needed some time alone and being so close I couldn't resist the urge to see what it has all become but…I don't want this life for me or my son or our family. Not anymore and I don't think I ever did. What I want I have. You and Gideon, our happiness. That is what I want." She squeezed his hand and let herself drift on a cloud of contentedness in silence. This was all too perfect to want anything else.
But only a minute later she felt a shift in the mattress as Rumpelstiltskin pushed himself up on an elbow and moved his hand over her belly and then to her waist, his eyes thoughtful and pensive as he touched her, then sad as she covered his hand with her own.
"Belle…I want to grow old with you," he whispered. "I always knew that true love was a possibility, but I always gawked at the idea of 'soulmates'. And yet you are mine, my other half, my perfect match. Nothing is going to ever compare to this life that we have now, and I don't want to live on once you are gone. If soul mates exist then I can believe there is something beyond this world, another adventure awaiting us, and I want to experience that with you."
He could be very charming and eloquent when he wanted to be and what he'd just confessed brought tears to her eyes. Once was a chance and twice was a curiosity, but the fact that he'd brought this up now on three separate occasions meant that it was more than that. This was something he'd truly been thinking about and working on, something he really wanted! And if he wanted it then so did she but it didn't come without it's complications.
"Then we need to start working on a plan," she muttered reaching up to cup his cheek. "Some way to free you from this." There was a pause as she stared up at him, aware of just how close his mouth was to her own. "True love's kiss worked once before."
"And I doomed it when I stopped it from working," he admitted before leaning closer to kiss her just because he could. "It was like a vaccination, Belle. Every time you've kissed me since then the curse has burrowed further into me, latching on. It'll never work again, darling."
But something else might!
"There must be another way. That book you found, it was from another realm…"
He nodded. "I heard a rumor of someone who had it around the time you were at the castle and acquired it. The family was from another realm, similar to the Victorian Era in England."
It was clear that he saw no significance to this but to her it was hope. It was a bread crumb. But what it also meant…it would be a very big decision for their family.
"We've told Henry before that we are stories in other realms, just as they are to us. I believe an answer exists for you, but it might not be in Storybrooke, old or new. And a job like this…it might not be possible to do it during Gideon's breaks."
Rumpelstiltskin let out a small snort as he stared down at her, clearly thinking that she was joking. "Are you suggesting we leave Storybrooke? This world? Live out on a lamb?" She kept her face as serious as she could and after a moment his smile vanished and she knew that he'd seen no humor in what she was suggesting.
"Something like that. Do you want to live in Storybrooke? Do you feel like we're home there? Here?!" she pressed.
"I've lived too long to make attachments to places. You and Gideon are my home and I will follow where you lead, but I'm a bit surprised that you would make such a suggestion," he admitted.
The truth was that she was too, before they'd made this trip she'd always seen her life as in Storybrooke but she had to admit that she had considered other options, especially since Regina had insisted Rapunzel go by a different name in public. This thought felt new, but it was quite clear to her that it was anything but new.
"I think…I think I've been thinking about it for quite sometime now. I do love Storybrooke and a few years ago I would never have considered leaving but Storybrooke is changing now. It truly is becoming part of that world no matter how many castles it possesses or how big it gets and Regina is right, the people who are left there will have to adapt to that. They'll become ordinary but you and Gideon…you both have magic, you are extraordinary, and I don't want you to have to hide it. If we leave we won't have to, not until we are ready at least.
"You said yourself there are dozens of realms, one of them might have the answer to your freedom. We could take Gideon with us, search for it, and find it. I could tutor Gideon and you can continue to teach him to control his magic, we could stay anywhere as long as we like and move when we need to. All those stories in Storybrooke may not be true but they all have a grain of truth to them, of those stories will have the answers we're looking for and free you just as this did. We could make this work."
"I fail to see how this tale was true and freed me."
She beamed, it seemed completely obvious to her but this was the sort of thing she'd spent three years studying. "Well we did use a guide to get there and you did make a wish, a wish that will now come true because I will fight for it just as I fight for you. Stories are all about interpretation."
He nodded, but still didn't seem at rest with the decision. "What about Gideon? What about all the friends he's made in Storybrooke? How will he handle something like this."
That was something of a hiccup, she supposed, but it didn't seem as big as one to her as it did to him. "Gideon will be fine. I'm not saying it won't be hard on him, but he makes new friends everywhere he goes. And he loves you Rumple, he knows the burden you carry, I do think he'll understand in the end.
"And I think we have to ask ourselves in this situation what we want to teach him Rumple. To stay in Storybrooke for him would be a fine thing but I think sometimes we have to place ourselves over him. That idea is counter to everything I've ever experienced as a mother but in my heart I know that it's true. Gideon is getting older. One day he will be gone. Our son will meet a woman he loves and have children and a family with her. He will leave me, us. But you will always be my husband and I your wife. We will be together long after he leaves our nest. I'd like for him to learn from us that sometimes children need to make sacrifices for the sake of their parent's relationship. Do you agree?"
What started off as a frown soon morphed into a smirk as he hung his head and nodded. "I do. What about your father? And Rapunzel? Pascal?"
Those thoughts made her stomach twist far more than the thought of uprooting Gideon. Her father was an easy answer, he'd made it so with his silence over the years but Rapunzel…when she'd made the suggestion she hadn't realized what it would mean for that relationship. It meant saying good-bye. Still, better she say good-bye to her friend, than he say good-bye to her.
"I haven't spoken to my father in years. Not in person. I'll write him and tell him but I don't honestly think it'll make a difference. And Rapunzel…it'll be hard, it will, saying good-bye to her. I love her and her family dearly but I love you more. We'll make sure everything is set before we go. And it's not as if we won't have magic beans, if we feel the urge to visit we can. If we succeed, we can come back!"
"Time moves differently in some other realms. Some faster, some slower. Are you prepared for that?" His voice made it a warning, something he was telling her because he feared the consequences of what it would do to her and Gideon. She understood his warning and it was a fair argument all on its own if taking Gideon to a place where time moved faster meant he was going to age faster.
"Will it feel different?" she questioned. "Will we know it's passing faster or slower?
"No, to us it'll feel as though normal years are passing."
Then that settled it in her mind. It was time to make this happen for him, for them. They had to make him free.
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's start a new adventure!"
Yep. That easy. One conversation and Rumbelle has decided to leave Storybrooke. This was also why I've been putting in the little conversations of dissatisfaction between Belle and Storybrooke. This chapter alone would have made it such a sudden decision it would have been super out of character but I'm hoping with all the development we've had this isn't as shocking that in one conversation she could say "let's get out of here" and come up with a whole new plan for their family. Yeah, it's a little out of left field, but not as much as it would have been. And because Rumple finally told the truth after all of these years it should help her to see that this is something he's been looking into for a while and make it all easier.
Thank you dear Grace5231973, Jennifer Baratta, Enomisje, and Rumbellefan for your reviews on the last chapter. Predictable or not I was pleased to hear that you felt it belonged right where I put it and the transition into it was natural and good! Many thanks! We're on to the next chapter which is, I would say, a pretty sad chapter. Get some tissues...and chocolate...and maybe wine. Peace and Happy Reading.