A/N: Sorry to keep you guys waiting. Schools were off for February break last week, and for the first time in 8 years didn't need to work during this break, so I spent the week doing fun mommy/daughter stuff and a few projects around the house. But, I was able to write this chapter yesterday and then edit it today. I have to say, it is very angst-y and drama filled. Once again, thank you to all those who are reading and enjoying. Please, let me know what you think, I love to hear from you guys! Enjoy!

It had been almost two hours, and Alison had still not spoken since Emily had found her slumped on the floor of the foyer. She hadn't even moved off of the floor yet. She had a distant, vacant look in her eye and continued to stare at the same spot in front of her on the floor. When Emily had first found her, Alison had crumbled into Emily's embrace. After about a half hour, Alison's tears had stopped, but her expression was completely unreadable. So, Emily sat next to her, with her good arm wrapped securely around the blonde's waist, waiting until Alison was ready to get up off the floor. That was two excruciatingly long hours ago. Emily had only left her side once to go get her pain meds once she couldn't take it anymore. She had run to the kitchen quickly, and when she came back, she had found Alison in the same spot, head buried into her hands as her body shook with sobs. Her heart was breaking for her girlfriend, but she wasn't quite sure what exactly she was upset over.

Her mind began to race as the minutes went on and Alison still wouldn't talk or even look at her. Was she upset at the realization that she would never see Elliott again? Did she still love Elliott? Was she regretting everything that had happened with Emily now that Elliott was truly gone? Did she blame Emily for taking Elliott away from her and her baby? Emily had to fight back the lump that had formed in her throat at the offensive thoughts. "Ali…" Emily said as she turned her head into Alison's golden locks and gave her a small kiss to the side of her head. Alison didn't move. Emily unwrapped her arm from Alison's waist and moved around so she was facing the blonde and ducked her head to make eye contact. Once Alison was forced to look at her, Emily could see a great deal of anger, self-loathing and regret swirling in those blue orbs. It was almost as if Alison was looking right through Emily. "Baby…" Emily tried again, reaching out to grab Alison's hand, but feeling rejected when Alison quickly pulled it away. Emily quickly turned away, unable to continue to look at the intense emotions in Alison's eyes. Emily just wanted to go back to Sunday morning and listen to Alison when she said that they should have stayed until the weather cleared some. Maybe they could have avoided all this. Now, Emily had no clue what to think. How could one of the best weekends have been followed by two of the worst days she'd experienced since her dad passed away? She bit her bottom lip to stop its trembling and willed the tears that were gathering in her eyes to not fall. She took in a deep breath to steady herself before turning back to her girlfriend. Girlfriend. Was she even that anymore? Alison had never left her side in the hospital, but now the way she looked at Emily made Emily feel like it was completely her fault. A single tear slid down Emily's cheek and she quickly wiped it from her jawline. She looked at Alison and noticed that for just a second, Alison's face completely softened once she saw Emily's lone tear, before quickly turning her expression cold once more. "Let me help you to bed?"

Alison didn't respond, but instead reached up and grabbed Emily's hand as Emily stood to help the blonde off the ground. Being on the floor for so long had caused Alison's joints to stiffen, especially her hips, but she slowly made her towards the stairs and up to the bedroom. Once inside, Alison released Emily's hand. Emily looked at her hand and frowned, a sense of dread filling her as Alison walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Emily's head dropped back on her shoulders and once again, she willed her tears to stay at bay. Emily heard the toilet flush and the water run before Alison emerged from the bathroom and headed into the walk in closet to change into pajamas. She walked out in an oversized night shirt and a pair of athletic shorts and climbed straight into bed. Emily walked up next to the bed and crouched down. Alison still didn't make eye contact with the brunette. "I'm going to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight," Emily began. A look of confusion flashed across Alison's face as Emily continued. "Let me know if you need anything."

Emily turned to leave, but was stopped when she felt warm fingers wrap around her wrist. "Stay." Alison's voice was hoarse from non-use and barely above a whisper. She continued to avoid all eye contact with the brunette, but Emily saw it as a good sign that at least Alison wanted her there, not that it eased Emily's fears much.

Emily quietly walked over to the other side of the bed and after a small struggle, removed her pants before climbing into bed. Because of her shoulder, her doctor recommended that she sleep inclined, so she began propping pillows behind her, which was a struggle with only one good arm. She looked over at Alison who hadn't even moved from her position with her back towards Emily facing the door. Emily just sighed as she continued to struggle until eventually she was reclined enough to relax. After about an hour, her pain meds kicked in and she was able to catch a few hours of sleep, but when the pain woke her up again around 2 a.m., she quietly slipped out of bed to head downstairs. She rounded the bed and looked at Alison. Her eyes were closed, but she couldn't tell if she was asleep or not. She let out a deep breath and made her way downstairs. She took a pain pill and washed it down with some water. She leaned against the doorway and stared out at the couch. She bit her lower lip, debating if she should just make herself comfortable and not even bother going back upstairs. But then she remembered the one thing Alison had told her: stay. Alison wanted her upstairs in their bed, even though she wasn't showing it. Emily knew that Alison was clearly struggling, but she wished that Alison would open up to her and let her in. She thought that they had come farther than this. She hoped that they could work this out. She had become so invested in a life with Alison and the new baby. She didn't know how she would survive without them in her life. She wiped a stray tear from her jaw as she made her way back upstairs.

XXXXX

41 hours and 18 minutes. That's how long it had been since Alison found out that she was the reason for Emily's injuries. She hated herself for even bringing Emily into her fucked up life. She hated Elliott for doing what he did, on purpose. She couldn't believe it when the officer had told her that night he came to the house.

"Good evening, ma'am. I'm sorry to bother you at home, but we have some information on the accident that you were involved in on Sunday," the officer told her once she had answered the door and peeked her head out.

Alison looked behind her before making her way out onto the porch and quietly closing the door behind her. "Yes?" she said, her voice hesitant to hear what the officer was going to say.

The officer looked down and flipped through his notepad. "You used to have the married name of Rollins, correct?"

Alison cleared her throat. "Yes, we divorced this past fall."

"Elliott Rollins, correct?"

"Yes." Alison shook her head. "I'm sorry, what does this have to do with the accident?"

"The driver, ma'am, was your ex-husband."

Alison furrowed her brow. Nothing was really making sense. She remembered back to the hospital and Emily's words in her drugged up state. How could Emily have known? "So, you mean? Elliott's dead?"

The officer cleared his throat. "Yes ma'am. I'm sorry for your loss"

"Well, thank you for letting me know, officer. I can give you the contact info for his parents if you need to contact them?" Alison said, still in shock.

"No, ma'am, we have all of that." He flipped through his notepad once again to confirm the information and Alison verified it.

"Oh, well, thank you." Alison turned around and was about to open the door when the officer interrupted her actions.

"There's more, ma'am." Alison slowly turned around with her brows furrowed in confusion. The officer cleared his throat once again before continuing. He seemed hesitant to ask his next question. "Were the two of you on good terms?"

Alison took a breath and sighed before answering. "Honestly, no, he'd been harassing us for the last couple of month."

"Us?" The officer asked for clarification.

"Myself and my girlfriend, Emily Fields." A small smile appeared on Alison's face as always with the mention of Emily. She couldn't help it now, it was like an embedded reaction that she had no control over.

"Ah, yes. The one who was banged up pretty badly. How exactly was he harassing you?"

" Drunken phone calls, calling relentlessly and filling our voicemails. Nothing serious. But we both changed our numbers and hadn't heard from him for a little bit." That moment's peace that existed before the accident seemed like a lifetime ago now to the blonde.

"Did you ever file a complaint with the police?"

"No, I didn't want to drag some big thing on and on. I just wanted him out of my life." The officer raised his eyebrow, clearly looking down at Alison's stomach. Alison rolled her eyes, becoming frustrated with all these extra questions when she just wanted to get back to Emily. "Again, what does all of this have to do with the accident?" The officer reached into his jacket pocket and pulled on an envelope and handed it to Alison. She looked at it questioningly before taking it and pulling out the paper inside. It looked like a copy of a letter. She recognized the writing right away. "What is this?"

"We found this as we were going through Mr. Rollins personal affects. It wasn't addressed to anyone, just the letter A-, but after reading it and some investigation, we are pretty positive that he meant it for you."

Alison scanned over the letter and her heart sank. How could Elliott have done this? This wasn't the man that she had fallen in love with. That man was so far gone, and this Elliott was a complete stranger. "T-thank you, officer."

The officer tipped his hat to her. "Goodnight, ma'am. We'll be in contact if we need a written statement of his harassment."

Alison read through the letter one final time before ripping it up and throwing it off the porch and into the rose bushes. What had her life become? She was nothing but a fuck up who didn't deserve love. It was her fault that Elliott was dead and it was her fault that the person she loved most in this world was hurting and in pain sitting on her couch. She was the reason that Emily had to fight for her life in that car. Alison hated herself. The people around her were better off if she just left them alone. She closed the door and immediately felt the weight of her life bring her down to the floor.

Alison had left the house a couple hours ago. She couldn't be around Emily anymore. The guilt of what had happened to her and Elliott had weighed her down over the past two days. Emily had tried to talk to her, but she couldn't even look at the brunette. The last time she looked at Emily in the eye was when the brunette had forced her to that night and she saw nothing but pain in Emily's chocolate eyes. Emily was crying and it was all Alison's fault. But she couldn't speak. She looked at Emily's shoulder and flashed back to how awkwardly her arm was bent in the car. That night, when Emily left the bedroom in the middle of the night, Alison had watched her leave and her mind flashed to Emily, lifeless and bleeding in the car. Every time Emily spoke, she heard the crashing of plastic and metal. After about 24 hours, Emily had stopped trying to talk to her. She couldn't face Emily. She didn't want to see the look of rejection and resentment in those eyes that she had fallen so in love with. The silence in that house became deafening. She couldn't take it anymore. She began to feel claustrophobic stuck in the house.

She had no clear destination in mind, but eventually found her way to the cemetery where her mom was buried. Standing in front of the familiar tombstone, Alison broke down once again, sobs wracking her body. She just needed to tell someone how she felt. She fell to her knees on the soft grass, crying out to her mom. She laid everything out to the stone before her, letting her guilt and anger flow out of her in hopes that she could heal. She knew that she was pushing Emily away and she didn't want that. Even though she felt an immense amount of guilt, she couldn't lose Emily. Emily made her a better person, she needed Emily if she hoped to be even a sliver of the mother that her mom was. Once she unloaded everything, she actually did feel a little better. She felt the need to go home and face Emily, whether she was ready or not. She frowned when she checked her phone and saw that she had a missed call and a text from Emily. There was no voicemail with the missed call, so Alison opened up the message.

I need you to come home.

Alison frowned again. She knew that she had fucked up big time. She knew how much Emily needed her and she had let the brunette down. She felt awful, but knew that she needed to make it right. She sent off a quick response back.

XXXXX

Emily sat on the couch in the living room when the text came through her phone. She opened it up and read the message. Oh, she can answer me over text, that's nice, Emily thought sarcastically.

Ok – Ali xo

Over the past two days, her patience had been wearing thinner by the hour and the constant pain she was in didn't help her tolerance level, either. She had tried to get Alison to talk and open up to her, but nothing she did would work. Alison even refused to look at Emily. There were several times in the past two days when Emily would sneak away into the bathroom and just cry. Cry from the pain in her shoulder and her frustration at not being able to care for herself and cry for her relationship that seemed to be falling apart right before her eyes. Alison never came to check on her. And it made Emily not only mad but hurt. She never in a million years thought that Alison would do this to her, to them.

Emily was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of keys in the front door. She looked up and saw Alison walking through the front door, throwing her keys in the bowl next to the door and walking hesitantly into the living room. Emily scoffed at the fact that Alison still wasn't looking at her.

When Alison heard Emily's scoff, her head shot up and she noticed a suitcase sitting next to the end table. "Wh-what's that?" Alison said, scared to death of the answer.

"I'm going to stay with my mom for a little while." Emily's voice was cold and devoid of emotion.

"Why?" Alison's voice cracked. She was beginning to panic.

Emily threw her good arm up in the air. She couldn't help what came spilling out her mouth next. Everything that she was feeling, the anger, the pain, the rejection, the fear, all came boiling to the surface. "I need help, Alison! I can't even button my own god damned pants without help and you've literally said one word to me over the past two days! I've struggled to cook for you and make sure you are taken care of but I am in so much pain I can't do it anymore! I just can't! I'm sorry if you are regretting all of this and that you wish it was me who died or whatever, but I can't keep doing this!" Emily felt hot tears begin to sting her eyes and she quickly wiped them away.

Alison was taken aback by Emily's words. She thinks I wanted her to be the one that-? She couldn't even finish the thought in her head. She had been so afraid that Emily wasn't going to make it in the beginning that she could barely breath at times. And now she had made her feel like the blonde wanted Elliott instead of her? Guilt washed over Alison tenfold. Oh god, I really am the world's biggest fuck up, Alison thought to herself. "I don't wish it was you who died. Is that what you really think?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"You haven't spoken to me since the night I came home from the hospital! What the hell else am I supposed to think?" Emily's voice was laced with frustration and Alison couldn't help but flinch, knowing that she had made the situation much worse than it needed to be.

Alison's own frustration with herself began to make its way to the surface. "I thought you were dead, Emily! I thought that I'd never see you again and it would be all my fault!"

Now it was Emily's turn to be taken aback by Alison's words. She blamed herself? But why? "What do you mean? Nothing was your fault."

Alison fought back the tears as she remembered the conversation with the officer two nights ago. "They found a letter in Elliott's pocket. They're pretty positive it was meant for me. The cops… they don't think it was an accident." Alison dropped her gaze and began playing with her fingers nervously.

Emily took in the sight and realized that something much bigger was bothering the blonde. She had only seen Alison play with her fingers that that on a couple of occasions, and it was usually when Alison was in the middle of one of her self-loathing meltdowns. Everything inside of her melted away at that moment, and the only thing that mattered to Emily was comforting Alison. Instinctively, Emily closed the distance between her and Alison and reached out and took Alison's hand. "What?"

Alison smiled at the small gesture of Emily trying to comfort her. Her smile faded when she realized just how amazing Emily was and how she didn't deserve the way that Alison had been treating her the past two days. "I hate him so much, Em! You have to believe me that I never wished you were… that you hadn't made it. I'm sorry I made you feel that way!"

"Why didn't you just talk to me?"

Alison met Emily's eyes and she could see the frustration building up inside of the brunette, but there was also a touch of concern laced through them. "Because I'm the reason you ended up in that hospital bed. I'm the reason that Elliott came after you in the first place. Maybe if I had just left you alone, you wouldn't be stuck in an immobilizer after just having shoulder surgery. You'd still be safe," Alison cried.

Emily took a deep breath, her pain and frustration and anger beginning to leave her body in little bits. She hated when Alison went down this path and she just wished that Alison would have talked to her, instead of shutting her out. Yes, it was frustrating beyond belief, but Emily could understand where she was coming from now. She wondered what was in that letter, but knows it must have been pretty bad to set Alison off like this. "Ali, look at me." Emily took her good hand and lifted Alison's chin so their eyes met. Emily tried to pour as much conviction into her voice as possible so that Alison would believe her. "None of this is your fault. Elliott clearly couldn't deal with you being happy with someone other than him. That's on him, not you. You couldn't have controlled any of this."

"Every time I close my eyes, even to blink I see it all over again. The flash of the headlights. My car all crumpled like a discarded piece of paper. You, laying there, lifeless with blood sp… oh god." Alison threw her hand over her mouth, looking like she was going to be sick as all the color drained from her face. She had to swallow down the bile that had suddenly risen into her throat.

Emily saw it and immediately led Alison to the couch. "Here, sit, Ali, please." Emily sat down next to Alison and took a hold of her hand. "Take a couple of deep breaths." Alison did as she was told and her color began to return. Emily had no idea that Alison was having such a hard time with everything. "Babe, I'm here and I'm safe. I'm okay. I'm not going anywhere. It's going to take a lot more than some crazy ex-boyfriend who can't drive to keep me away from you, okay? You're both stuck with me, for life." Emily reached out and placed her hand gently on Alison's stomach.

A smile played across Alison's lips before falling into a frown. She pulled out of Emily's grip and ran her hands over her face. "I'm such an awful person! I'm so sorry, Em." Tears began to fall down Alison's face again.

"I know, Ali. It's okay. I know you were struggling. I just need you to talk to me in the future, okay? I can't have you closing in on yourself like that. My mind went to some very dark places that I don't want to ever venture to again."

"I'm sorry." Alison said, her voice breaking at the emotions that had been stirred up for both of them.

Emily gave Alison a watery smile. "I know. I forgive you."

"I don't deserve you," Alison said as she shook her head.

"Well, you're stuck with me, so you better start believing that you do," Emily said before leaning forward and gently pressing her lips to Alison's. For the first time in two days, both women actually felt relaxed. Yes, there were still going to be struggles and they both still had a long way to go in healing, but they had so much to look forward to. And as long as they stuck together, they could make it through anything. If anything, this whole ordeal has shown them that they are stronger together than they ever will be apart.

XXXXX

The following Monday, Alison returned back to work, leaving Emily at home by herself for the majority of the day. Alison had coordinated with Pam to come by before her shifts to help Emily with whatever she needed. Pam had just left and had made Emily a late breakfast and gotten her settled on the couch with a half of a pain pill. Emily's shoulder was beginning to feel better as the days went on, but she was sick of the immobilizer already. After their fight, Alison made sure that anything the brunette needed was taken care of as quickly as possible. Emily could tell that Alison felt badly about everything, but Emily was over it. It was a hard few days for both of them and emotions were running high on both their parts. Emily made sure each night to show Alison how much she appreciated her, often with foot rubs with her good hand to help soothe Alison's swollen, achy feet and ankles.

Towards the end of the week, an idea popped into Emily's head, but she needed Alison out of the house to make it happen. Once her mother left and she was settled in, she picked up her cell and sent a message off to a number that she wasn't sure she would ever use until last week.

Hey, it's Emily. Do you have any time free on your lunch today? There is something I need your help with.

She knew that things were rocky between her and Spencer, but Emily really didn't know who else to go to with this request. She didn't know much about legal stuff and didn't want to be taken for a ride. Also, Spencer did seem genuine in the hospital about taking responsibility in her own actions. She hoped they could move forward, and maybe this was a way for them to do that. Only time would tell, though, if Spencer even wanted to at all. Emily dropped her phone into her lap and started surfing through the channels to find some trashy day time TV. After a few minutes, her phone vibrated in her lap.

Sure! Does 12:30 work for you? – Spencer

Yeah, the door will be unlocked. I'll be on the couch, so come on in. See you soon!

Emily glanced at the clock. It was a little after 11 a.m. Only another hour and a half until Emily could start her plan in motion and hopefully show Alison how much both her and the baby truly meant to the brunette. She rested her head against the back of the couch and waited for the taller brunette to arrive.