Chapter 26 – Go Ask Alice

Chapter Notes: In case you missed the link to the video interview with Karyn Colfer about her daughter Hannah in the End Notes of an earlier chapter, I Hate Mosquitos recommended that I include it again here. You'll have to take out the spaces and put an actual dot in place of the word dot. youtube dot com / watch?v =JWgGhnRVdP0

Friday, August 1, 2008

Following an early dinner, Tim asked Hannah if she'd like to pick a movie to watch. After some deliberation, she chose Shrek, and the family settled down in the living room. Hannah insisted on sitting between Chris and Darren on the sofa, and neither of the boys minded. They all snuggled up together under a throw that Karyn had knitted, pleasantly tired from their day at the pool.

Hannah fell asleep three-quarters of the way through the movie, but her father waited until it was over before carrying her up to her room. Yawning broadly, Chris told his mother, "I think we'll head to bed early, too. Goodnight, Mom."

"Goodnight, Chris. Goodnight, Darren."

"Goodnight Karyn. See you in the morning."

Chris and Darren made their way upstairs. Once they were in Chris's room with the door closed, Darren asked, "Are you really that tired out from swimming? It's only eight o'clock."

Chris smiled at him conspiratorially. "I thought we could do a little research, but I didn't want my mom to know she was getting her way."

It took a moment for Darren to realize what his boyfriend was talking about, but once he did he let out a bark of laughter. "You want to check out that website she mentioned, don't you?"

"Well, yeah. Don't you?" Chris asked, turning on his laptop.

"Definitely. What was it called, again?"

"Go Ask Alice. Like that book about the girl on drugs that I've heard about but never read. …Okay, here it is," Chris said, clicking on the first link to appear in google. "Where do you think we go from here?"

"Try the Q & A Library," Darren suggested.

"Okay. Now, I guess we want Sexual and Reproductive Health."

"Well, not the reproductive part, so much."

Chris laughed. "Okay. Wow – there's so many headings to choose from. And some of them seem a little scary…"

"Let's pick something basic, to start with. How about Sexual Questions? That sounds pretty generic."

"Okay. But now we've got a lot more headings. Wanna try Anal Sex?"

Darren snorted, and Chris shoved his shoulder. "Hey! You know I didn't mean it like that!"

Darren grinned at him. "Baby, you're blushing."

"Shut up."

Darren bumped their shoulders together. "Sorry. Go ahead and click on the Anal Sex link."

"Okay. But now we've got all these questions to choose from. And I am not going to be the one to suggest anything else tonight."

"Come on. I said I was sorry."

"Yeah, but you didn't mean it."

"You're right. You're just too much fun to tease."

"Well, turn-about is fair play. So you just wait…"

"Here, this one sounds good. 'Doin' the butt.' Click on that."

"You would pick the one topic that sounds like it was written by a middle-schooler with a dirty mind rather than an Ivy League doctor."

"Hey, you said I could choose. That's the one I wanna read."

"Fine," Chris said resignedly. "You read it out loud, then."

So Darren read, one topic after another, putting on various accents and funny voices, until both boys were rolling around on the bed, laughing uncontrollably.

When they finally stopped to catch their breath, Chris turned to Darren, suddenly serious. "You know, I'm glad we're learning about this stuff, because I think it's good information to have. But honestly, I don't know if it sounds like something I'd be comfortable actually doing."

"Baby, you know we never have to do anything you don't want to. And look, it says right here 'Not all gay men have anal sex.' So it's not like the Gay Sex Police are going to come and take away your membership card if it's not something you're into."

"But is it something you're into? Because I don't want you to feel frustrated, or like you're not getting what you need out of our relationship."

Darren set the laptop aside to take both of Chris's hands in his own. "Baby, look at me," he said, voice low and earnest. "I love you. Nothing's going to change that. All I need out of our relationship is to know that you love me back. And that has nothing to do with whether or not you ever want to fuck me in the ass."

"Wait – you'd want me to top?"

"Baby, I told you. I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with. But yeah, I guess, when I've imagined it, I've always pictured you inside me. Why? Have you been thinking about it the other way 'round?"

"Um, yeah," Chris admitted. "And it seems kind of scary. Not that I don't trust you, because you know I totally do. I'm just afraid that it would be awkward, and uncomfortable, and that I wouldn't enjoy it. …And then how could I possibly want to do something to you that I wouldn't want you doing to me?"

"Chris, baby, I know it doesn't seem like it sometimes, because we're so close, but we are two different people. We're not always going to like the same things, or want the same things. And that's okay. When you think about 'doing something to me,' all you need to care about is whether it's something you'll enjoy doing and I'll enjoy having you do. It doesn't matter whether you're ever going to want me to reciprocate or not. I just get off on making you feel good, and I hope you feel the same way."

"Oh, god, I so do."

"Well, then, do you think that topping is something that might make you feel good?"

"Can I think about it and get back to you on that one?"

"Take all the time you need. Now, are you ready for the G-rated version of that backrub I promised you?"

"That sounds perfect."

End Notes: Yes, Go Ask Alice is an actual website, and all of the links I described are really there, even the one for "Doin' the butt." Seriously, folks, I couldn't make this stuff up.

By this point, you know the drill – please review! :D