A/N: Thank you ElyssaCousland who has done a wonderful beta job despite being super busy recently! And thank you Tequila se'lai for help with my "Antivan." And my most sincerest of thank you's to Ioialoha and Anderslove for the very kind reviews! I'd give you both cake... but this is the internet. Borrowed some in-game banter for this one because it was too good not to include.
Answers.
They didn't hang around in Denerim for long; with most of the common folk now hating Neri and calling for Loghain's death it just wasn't much fun. She was pretty sure she would have preferred screaming crowds to her stupid, useless, disobedient horse though. And her mabari wasn't much better; he kept trying to play with Terrance, and Neri had to constantly remind him that Terrance wasn't a dog.
"I had a mabari once; she was the most loyal and well trained beast I ever had the pleasure of owning," Loghain said wistfully.
Barkspawn came bounding back over, barking at Terrance to play with him.
He jumped up and down in front of her big brown gelding. "Stop it!" Neri barked at him, as Terrance whinnied nervously. Barkspawn gave her his stupid puppy dog eyes, and then saw a squirrel and bounded off again.
"Did you not train your mabari?" Loghain scoffed, his blue eyes flecked with silver in the low evening sun.
Neri rolled her eyes at the know-it-all. "I only got him after Ostagar; I was passed out on a dirt road, and he woke me up. So you can blame his previous owner for his unruly behaviour."
"You must be something quite special to have a mabari bond with you like that, and to survive Ostagar as you did. I heard rumours about your survival, about the Grey Warden's barrier stretching across the entire battlefield. The magic you used in the market was powerful as well; you knocked over every man and women in sight. I've never seen anything quite like it."
A smile tugged at her lips. "That almost sounded like a compliment, Loghain."
It was his turn to roll his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. "Make of it what you will. I am glad it was not you I had to duel at the Landsmeet; Arietta left me with quite enough bruises as is."
Neri laughed. "I would have been rough with you, but I would have left that pretty face of yours alone," she joked giving him a cheeky wink.
He stared at her incredulously, and she laughed again.
Zevran pulled up on Winterbreath. "So, err, is it Lord Loghain?"
Loghain shook his head. "I am no longer a Teyrn, or even a Knight. Address me without a title, as you would any other Grey Warden."
Zevran nodded his head. "So just Loghain, then?"
"Correct." Loghain glanced at Zev. "What's on your mind?"
"You know who I am, yes? I was one of the Crow's you hired to kill the Grey Wardens."
"I thought you looked familiar."
"Well, I just wanted to report that I failed my mission, Loghain."
Neri burst out laughing.
"You don't say," Loghain drawled.
Zevran smirked. "I'm terribly broken up over it."
"Hmm. Well, thank you kindly for informing me."
"I should probably be thanking you, Loghain," Neri said with a roguish smile. "Zev has had many uses." She stifled a giggle.
Loghain looked at them both and clenched his jaw. "You are sleeping with an assassin?" he asked, shocked.
Neri laughed some more. "Something like that."
"You must have a death wish, Warden."
Zevran glanced at her adoringly, and her heart fluttered in her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut and ignored the butterflies dancing in her stomach.
…
They arrived at Redcliffe to an army of darkspawn, but no dragon was present, and it certainly wasn't the horde she had seen at Ostagar.
Once they had cut their way through to the castle, Eamon informed them that the main bulk of the horde was heading to Denerim, and Riordan let them know that the dragon was indeed at the head of it.
"Alistair's in Denerim!" Arietta cried, her voice a much higher pitch than usual as panic gripped her throat.
"As are thousands of others, my daughter included; crying about it accomplishes nothing," Loghain calmly stated. "How soon can we gather the army and leave?" he asked.
"We can leave at dawn; the armies have been here for a few days now," Eamon explained in his soothing, well-mannered voice.
"We still won't get there in time though, will we?" Arietta said worriedly as her hand trembled over her pink lips.
"No. We can only hope to reach Denerim in time before it falls completely," Eamon admitted, hanging his head low.
"I need to speak with the Wardens, upstairs," Riordan said grimly.
Neri nodded her head; Arietta and Loghain needed to learn the truth.
Eamon sighed. "Get some rest, all of you. Tomorrow we head to Denerim to face the darkspawn horde. Maker guide us."
They all walked upstairs together in silence, and entered Riordan's chambers. He lit a few candles as Loghain and Arietta stood nervously, waiting.
Loghain cleared his throat impatiently.
"Sorry; as you may have guessed, Neri already knows what I am about to tell you." Riordan exhaled. "Tell me, have you ever wondered why the Grey Wardens are needed to defeat the Archdemon?"
Arietta's brow crinkled, and Loghain shook his head.
"I assume it has something to do with the taint in us?" Arietta asked quietly, her watery blue eyes flickering from Riordan to Neri, and back to Riordan.
"That is exactly what it involves. The Archdemon may be slain as any other darkspawn, but should any other than a Grey Warden do the slaying, it will not be enough." He started to pace. "The essence of the beast will pass through the taint to the nearest darkspawn and will be reborn anew in that body. The dragon is thus all but immortal." He took a deep breath. "But if the Archdemon is slain by a Grey Warden… its essence travels into the Grey Warden, instead."
"That sounds fatal," Loghain remarked.
"It is," Riordan said gravely. "A darkspawn is an empty, soulless vessel, but a Grey Warden is not. The essence of the Archdemon is destroyed… and so is the Grey Warden."
Arietta's breath hitched, and Loghain clenched his jaw.
"The Warden who takes the final blow dies," Arietta whispered, her eyes wide with dawning realisation.
"Yes. Without the Archdemon, the Blight ends. It is the only way."
Arietta turned to Neri. "That's why you needed Loghain?"
Neri sighed and nodded her head. "We needed more Wardens on hand to deal with the Archdemon. Ironically we have the same number as before, because of Alistair leaving. I wanted to keep him away from the dragon, and I succeeded, but now he is in the thick of battle. Sorry about that." She ran a hand through her hair. "I wanted Loghain in case something happened to Riordan… or me," she admitted. She looked at Loghain who was staring at the ground with a scowl on his face.
Loghain looked up at her, and nodded. "Very well, Warden."
"Like Neri said, if possible it should be my kill to make, but should I fail the responsibility falls on all of you." Riordan moved to the door. "But enough. There will be much to do tomorrow and little enough time to rest before it. I will let you return to your rooms."
They exited, all three of them sighing, with sagged shoulders, as Riordan closed his door behind them.
"How did you figure it out, Neri?" Arietta asked as they stood in the corridor.
"Books, brains, and a little curiosity," Neri said with an airy chuckle.
A small smile touched Arietta's lips. "Then, thank you," she said softly.
Neri shrugged. "I suppose we should hope Riordan can do it, but that's bullshit too," she said bitterly.
"Yeah, we should have expected there to be such a sacrifice… I just never thought…" Arietta shook her head, staring down at the ground defeated.
"Neither of you need to worry, I will take the killing blow if Riordan cannot," Loghain said sternly.
Arietta sighed. "That is very commendable," she said graciously. "I guess we should probably try to get some sleep…" She rubbed the back of her neck.
"Alistair will be okay." Neri squeezed Arietta's hand. She turned to Loghain too. "And Anora. We'll save them before it's too late."
Loghain huffed. "I pray you are right, Warden." He wandered off to find his room.
Arietta took a shaky breath and hugged Neri. "Thank you for pushing to spare him. I don't know what we'd do if anything happened to Riordan, and it was just the three of us."
"Easy, I'd die."
Arietta scowled.
"You're about to become Alistair's queen; I would never let you take the killing blow, so it would be me, and I absolutely refuse to die." She chuckled. "I hope Riordan can do it, but if not…"
Arietta nodded. "Are you scared to die?" she asked timidly.
Neri sighed. "Yes, in truth. I have been since the Deep Roads… It was so cold. Dying, I mean. Even in your arms there was just no warmth. It's a chill that I can't seem to shake; I get a shiver down my spine whenever I properly think about it." She looked into the rogue's eyes. "Are you?"
"I don't fear death; my parents, my sister; they're all at the Maker's side. But it would break my heart to leave Alistair and you behind, and if Alistair died…" Her eyes started to fill with tears, and Neri pulled her into a hug.
"Get some rest, Ari," she said as she pulled back with a small smile.
"I can never sleep without Alistair in my bed…" she admitted with a scowl.
Neri smiled. "I could join you instead; I'm not as cuddly but I don't snore," she joked.
Arietta shook her head. "Thank you, but I'll be okay; I need some time to think." She kissed Neri's cheek, and walked down the corridor.
Neri opened the door to her suite, and found Morrigan standing by the fire.
"Do not be alarmed. 'Tis only I," the witch said.
"Finally decided to join me in my bed?" Neri smirked as she closed the door.
Morrigan snorted. "No, you are in danger," she said seriously. "I have a plan, you see; a way out, the loop in your hole." She turned to face her and prowled toward her. "I know what happens when the Archdemon dies. I know a Grey Warden must be sacrificed, and that sacrifice could be you," she said sadly.
Neri arched an eyebrow; she shouldn't be surprised that the witch knew this, and yet she was.
"Wait, why the fuck did you not mention this to us sooner?"
"Would you have believed me? Was it not better for you to work it out on your own, or be told by a senior Warden?"
"And if we never found Riordan?"
Morrigan sighed. "These 'what ifs' do not matter; I have come to tell you this does not need to be." She stepped closer. "You do not need to die," she said with her bright yellow eyes locked on Neri's brown.
Neri smiled lopsidedly. "Why do you think I spared Loghain?"
Morrigan tutted and turned her head. "There is no guarantee Loghain or Riordan will be able to take the final blow. I offer a way out. A way out for all the Grey Wardens, that there need be no sacrifice."
Neri craned her head to the side and folded her arms. "I'm listening."
Morrigan smiled slightly, some of the tension easing from her shoulders. "A ritual… performed on the eve of battle, in the dark of night," she started to explain.
Neri rubbed the back of her neck. "What kind of ritual, exactly?"
"It is old magic, from a time before the Circle of Magi was created. Some might call it blood magic, but it is but a name. There is far more to fear in this world than names."
Neri arched an eyebrow. "And how did you learn of such a ritual?"
"From Flemeth, of course; I have known about it for some time." Much of her face was cast in shadow as she stood with her back to the flames, and it only made what she had to say sound more sinister.
"That's why she sent you with us?"
"Yes, she was the one who first gave me this ritual and told me of what I was meant to do. This does not surprise you, does it? Did you not wonder why Flemeth saved Arietta and Alistair's lives, and aided you? This is why."
Neri sighed. "Tell me more then."
"What I propose is this: convince Loghain to lay with me. Here, tonight. And from this ritual a child shall be conceived within me." Neri's mouth dropped open, but Morrigan simply took a seat on Neri's bed.
"The child will bear the taint, and when the Archdemon is slain, its essence will seek the child like a beacon. At this early stage, the child can absorb the essence and not perish. The Archdemon is still destroyed, with no Grey Wardens dying in the process."
She explained that the child would be born with the untainted soul of an old God, and that once it was all done Morrigan would walk away, and Neri was not to follow her, ever.
"So I have to convince Loghain…"
"Yes, it has to be him; the taint must be fresh, and not old like Riordan's."
Neri paced. This was everything she wanted; she would live, Arietta would live, Alistair would live – well assuming they didn't all get killed by darkspawn first – and even Loghain would live, instead of getting a hero's death, which he probably didn't deserve after everything he had done. She didn't want to die, and she didn't want anyone else to die either, so this should be an easy choice.
So why isn't it?
Blood magic, dark rituals, Morrigan raising an old god baby? Arietta would never agree to something like this, and that made Neri nervous to accept it, but Neri never seemed to do what the noble would do.
She chewed on her lip as her hand fisted her hair. "I'll agree to it," she reluctantly said.
Morrigan smiled. "A wise decision."
"One question, our friendship… was that all a ruse?" Neri asked, trying to hide the hurt in her voice. "The ring you gave me, was that only because you saw me as your best chance to get this child, knowing Arietta would never agree to such a thing?"
Morrigan's smile dropped into a scowl. "I care about you a great deal, 'twas no ruse. I am proud to call you a friend, a sister even. I do not want to see you dead, let me save you," she almost begged.
Neri took a shaky breath, and hugged the witch. Morrigan was startled at first but then hugged her back. "Thank you, Morrigan," Neri whispered.
Neri exited the room, and stalked down the hall towards Loghain's chambers.
She hesitated outside his door, and took a deep breath before knocking gently.
"Enter," he said.
She walked in; he was just in a shirt and black leather trousers now, and his hair fell loosely around his face.
"Loghain." She fiddled with her hands.
He frowned. "What is it, Warden?"
She looked up at him resolutely. "I need you to do something, for me; for all of us."
His frown deepened. "I will take the killing blow; there is no need to discuss it further."
She waved her hand, dismissing his comment. "No, this is something else. There is a way for all of us to survive, a ritual; all you have to do is sleep with Morrigan…"
"What? The witch?" He scowled and shook his head. "Warden, there is no need for such things, Riordan or myself can take the blow–"
"You could die. Riordan could die. And then it would be up to me, or Arietta or Alistair. I cannot let that happen. I won't. I am not asking you to do this, I am telling you to," she said in a voice far more demanding than she was used to hearing.
He eyed her coolly with his icy blue eyes.
"Think of Anora," she continued. "Think of all the good you could do if you stayed alive."
He sighed. "Anora would find some way to benefit politically from my death. You speak of the good I could do, but what will the consequences of this ritual be, exactly?"
"A child; Morrigan will raise it. I don't know much else. But it will work and it will save our lives. Please do this."
His shoulders sagged. "Very well, Warden. I will do this thing, but I do not agree with it," he said gruffly.
She dipped her head. "Thank you, Loghain," she said sincerely.
They walked back to her room in silence, and faced Morrigan.
"He'll do it," Neri said flatly.
"Excellent," Morrigan purred.
"Don't mind me if I keep my eyes closed and imagine my dead wife instead," Loghain muttered.
"I'll leave you both to it…" Neri awkwardly said as she wandered back out of her room.
Did they have to do it in my bed? She shuddered.
She found herself at Zevran's door, and rapped on it lightly before entering. She shut the door behind her, and leant against it as she took a shaky breath.
"Everything all right, my dear?" he asked in a worried tone, looking up from a book he was reading.
She frowned; she had just secured the safety of all of the Grey Wardens, but at the same time had potentially unleashed a dangerous mage child upon the world.
"I'm not really sure," she admitted meekly with a laugh.
He slid off the bed, and approached her. "Tell me."
She sighed. "A Warden has to die to slay the Archdemon," she said nonchalantly.
His honey eyes bulged. "The ultimate sacrifice?" he asked darkly.
She nodded glumly, trailing her fingers up his torso. "It is exactly that; laying one's life down to end the Blight: a hero's death."
He craned his head to the side and his silver-blonde strands fell around his shoulders. "That is why you spared Loghain, then?" he guessed.
She nodded. "I was still worried that it wouldn't be enough; Riordan and Loghain could die, and then it would be up to me or Arietta and Alistair… and then Morrigan offered me a way out."
He arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"Some ritual; she says it will save all of the Grey Wardens, so none of us have to die."
He stroked her cheek with his long index. "Then that is good, no?"
"I guess so," she said with a smile.
"Good, because you're not allowed to die, il mio amore." He smirked, his honey eyes light and playful.
She gave him a teary smile, and he kissed her gently.
Her heart swelled in her chest, and threatened to burst. She pulled away from him and rested her forehead against his. She squeezed her eyes shut and breathed him in.
"I think I'm falling in love with you, Zevran Arainai," she whispered.
He let out a small gasp; she opened her eyes to see a dazzling smile on his lips. "I think I feel the same about you," he cautiously said. He stroked her face and looked at her lovingly. "Il mio cuore è solo tuo; it means my heart is yours."
She let out a strangled laugh of relief, and he captured her lips with his.