No Matter of Chance

By AmboDriver

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

A/N: Sorry this took a little longer than I wanted. Long story. But hope this chapter makes up for the delay. And definitely hope you guys enjoy the "reassurances" that Callie gives Arizona. I think I might win some sort of award for longest description of a make out session, because it kind of goes on and on, but I figure most of you won't mind, right?

Thanks for all your comments. They are the cherry on the top of my sundae, the whipped cream on my strawberry shake, and the butter on my bread. Or some other strange food metaphors! Basically I'm saying you guys are awesome.

Chapter 26

Arizona put her cellphone down on the table and let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, so they'll be there later today." She rolled her shoulders, feeling the tension that had settled there release just a little. It certainly helped that she no longer had to wear the sling for her shoulder. "I need to go over to make sure they get it all installed properly and so they can show me how the alarm panel and the cameras work." Callie had suggested she put in a security system to help her feel safer at her apartment and she had luckily been able to get them to come out that day.

Callie bit at her lip as she looked up from her seat on the couch. "Really don't take this as me kicking you out, because I'm not, but when do you think you'll want to go back there?"

Arizona took a deep breath as she plopped down heavily next to Callie and leaned into her. She smiled as Callie wrapped her arm around her and pulled Arizona into her side, so they were both lying on the couch, arms wrapped around one another. It was the safest place Arizona could think of and she hated the idea of not having this all the time, but she needed to get back to having her own life. They would never know if this relationship would last if they stayed in this little pink bubble they'd enjoyed the last few days. Besides, sleeping down the hall from her is kind of torturous since we've still got 82 days and 19 hours, give or take an hour, until the divorce is final. "Going back scares e, even with the security system and my Glock."

"Your Glock?" Arizona could feel Callie tense against her.

"Um, yeah, didn't I mention I have a handgun? I use it mostly for target practice, but it's in my nightstand for defense, too." She turned her head up so she could look at Callie. "I used to shoot competitively in high school and college. In fact, I almost put off medical school to train for the Olympics. I was good enough that I would have had a shot at making the team." She chuckled quietly. "Sorry, bad shooting pun."

"You don't strike me as the NRA type," Callie said with just the slightest smile on her face.

"I'm not. My father taught Tim and I how to shoot as soon as we were old enough, but we never went hunting or lived at gun shows or anything like that. And I certainly don't think people should be able to have as many assault rifles as they want. I'm all for serious gun control laws and required training. I mean you have to prove you can drive before they let you alone behind the wheel of a car, they should do the same for guns." She shrugged. "I enjoy shooting and I do feel safer having it, but mostly because I know that I'm extremely well trained and comfortable with it."

Callie's eyes fell as her teeth worried at the corner of her mouth. "I guess I just hate guns. I've taken too many bullets out of people over the years."

"I know. The number of kids who've found a gun and gotten hurt or died just totally tears at me." Arizona took Callie's hand as she saw just a slight flash of recognition in Callie's eyes. "I want you to know, if we ever get to the point in our relationship where your kids would be in my apartment or anywhere near my gun, that I have the most childproof gun lock that exists on it at all times and I'd be sure to lock it in my safe. There would be no way they could get a hold of it and get hurt. I promise you, and you know I wouldn't lie about the safety of your children."

Callie nodded and then let out a long breath of relief. "Guns really terrify me. I won't even let the boys play with toy guns. When I was a second year, I had to tell a mother that her child was dead because her older son found his father's gun and shot his two year old brother. I seriously thought about quitting surgery that night and never looking back."

"What changed your mind?"

There were tears pooling in Callie's eyes. "I told my parents and I guess my mother told the chief what I was thinking, even though I told her not to. But Ellis sat me down in her office and talked me out of leaving. She knew all the right buttons to push, too. That was the day I decided on cardio as a specialty, because she spent about an hour telling me how brilliant I would be at it and how many lives I would save. She pointed out that there would be other kids and there would be some we could save and some we couldn't, but if we weren't there to save them, they'd all be lost."

Arizona closed her eyes and nodded as she remembered some of the faces of kids she'd lost along the way. Knowing that she could save some of them that would have died without her help was the only thing that kept the nightmares of the tiny coffins those losses ended up in bearable. "That's what keeps me going." She took a deep breath, enjoying the scent of vanilla and spice that she was quickly learning to associate with Callie, and snuggled tighter into Callie's embrace. "And to answer your original question, I was thinking there's no time like tonight."

"Tonight?" There was a little regret in her voice.

"Well, I was wondering if maybe you'd come and spend the night. Work is right across the street after all." Arizona made the suggestion before even thinking about it. She then smiled as she remembered their original plans. "We can still work on you reassuring me there. In fact, I might need even more reassurance, so I could understand if you don't want to work that hard." She smiled innocently up at Callie for effect.

Callie let out a loud belly laugh and then leaned down to kiss Arizona on the forehead. "I think that's a wonderful idea. I would love to spend the evening with you, reassuring you as much as you need." She shrugged and obviously was trying not to break out into a bright smile. "Or maybe as much as I need." She tipped Arizona's head up and captured her lips in a brief kiss that still made Arizona's stomach flip. "I didn't peek into the other room in your place. Do you at least have a futon or something in there?"

"Well," Arizona began as she dropped her eyes to where their hands had somehow found each other without any conscious thought on Arizona's part. She swallowed hard, wondering if maybe her suggestion was too much, too fast, especially considering they still had months to go before spending the night with one another would really mean spending the night together. "I do have a bed in there, but I was thinking maybe we could both spend the night in my bed. Purely platonic of course. Well, okay, maybe not platonic, but within the rules."

Arizona felt Callie's breathing hitch for a moment before beginning again, this time a little faster than before. There was a long pause before one simple word came out in barely a whisper. "Yes."

"That wouldn't make you uncomfortable?" Arizona was a little taken off guard by the delay in her answer.

"No," Callie answered quickly. "I took a few seconds to really make sure that I was okay with it, and I am. I wouldn't let you pressure me into doing something I wasn't comfortable with, I promise." She rolled over slightly so they were facing one another and then reached up and cupped Arizona's cheek. "I would love to spend the evening with you at your place, doing everything I can to reassure you." She gave her a quick kiss. "And then the perfect ending would be able to curl up next to you and drift off to sleep. And then getting to see you first thing when you wake up would be the cherry on top, because I've found that you have the most adorable wake up messy hair ever."

"My hair is adorable when I wake up? It looks like a bird's nest."

Callie's eyes darkened slightly as she looked down at Arizona's lips. "I kind of imagine it's what your after sex hair looks like. And since I won't get to test that theory for almost three months, I'm going to live with that little thought and hope that I'll get to see the wake up version a few times before then." She bit at her lip for a moment as she lowered her lips until she was maybe an inch from Arizona's. "It's incredibly sexy," she barely breathed out before closing the distance into a teasing kiss filled with stoked desire.

Arizona finally felt the need for air, as much as she enjoyed the nibbles and brushes of Callie's lips against her own. She pulled back and sighed quietly. "You're incredibly sexy."

There was a hint of a blush that came to Callie's cheeks. For a moment she looked like she was going to say something, but instead she just shook her head and let out a brief laugh. "Well, what do you say we get you packed up? And I guess I need an overnight bag and something to wear to work." She gave her a quick peck. "I haven't had to think about packing for a sleep over with a date in so many years."

"Yeah, you'll be making the walk of shame without the fun part that makes that walk worthwhile."

Callie shook her head with a smirk. "Like spending the night making out with you isn't fun? I'd make the walk of shame for less with you."

Arizona's heart soared at that. "I would too." She gave Callie a lingering kiss before rolling off the couch. "Let's go pack."

Callie sat up, a slightly mischievous grin on her face. "Yes, ma'am."

Arizona raised her eyebrow at the title, but smiled. "I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole." She then started to walk away, but turned her head to speak over her shoulder. "At least not yet."

She thought she heard Callie let out a loud sigh and Arizona smiled. Oh yeah, we're going to have fun teasing each other. It might just make the next 82 days manageable. Well, okay, probably not, but it will sure be fun.

The evening had been truly amazing. After they had met with the security company and Arizona had inspected their work and learned how to activate the alarm and view the taped security footage from the camera that recorded her front door and the windows in the living room, they had cooked dinner together. Well, really, Callie had cooked and Arizona had munched on the ingredients as she sat at the breakfast bar keeping Callie company. But Callie hadn't minded one bit, especially after hearing some of Arizona's stories of disastrous attempts at cooking. After hearing about the fire Arizona had made in her dorm just by trying to make boxed macaroni and cheese, she was sure that she would never allow Arizona near the stove or oven if she could keep her from them. After all, Callie was really hoping that this relationship would last, maybe even be the relationship for the rest of her life, and she would really prefer not to have a kitchen fire in her house every few years.

The dinner of steaks, baked potatoes, and green beans with shallots, along with a wonderful bottle of Syrah had led to a wonderful meal full of even more stories and laughter. And after dinner, they had settled on the couch to finish the wine, this time falling into an easy silence as they snuggled with one another and sipped the rich wine. Callie had never dated anyone who made silence so easy and comfortable. Normally she felt the need to fill the silence with something, and so she would begin to ramble, but with Arizona, she found that it was comfortable to just be in her presence, to spend time just holding one another or playing with her hand and smiling every time Arizona's thumb traced ovals on her wrist.

They had laid there for probably an hour, just enjoying one another's presence, until the wine finally ran out. Callie had considered going to get another bottle, but she didn't want them to get drunk. Intoxication would not only dull her memories—and she was sure she would want to look back on this evening for the rest of her life—but there was also the fear that the alcohol would lower their inhibitions. She didn't want the first time they had sex, or even got close, to be because of being drunk. They had made a decision to wait and Callie was committed to that and she was reasonably sure Arizona was too. Besides, the last time she had gotten drunk, she had slept with that guy at the hotel, and she would never want to cheapen what she was building with Arizona by doing that. But having just the amount of wine they had already consumed seemed perfect, because it made Callie relaxed just enough to feel completely comfortable with Arizona.

As Callie placed her wine glass on the table and then took Arizona's empty glass and did the same, she turned to the blonde and smiled. "I think I owe you some reassurance," she said, her voice dropping naturally to a lower register as she climbed up over where Arizona was lying on the couch. She felt a little like a predator as she crawled over Arizona's amazing body. She really wanted nothing more than to touch her everywhere, to run her hands over her breasts and around to cup her perfect ass, but she resisted, at least for the moment. Those were the grey areas in their agreement, and she wondered if as long as there was clothing between her hands and what she imagined was the most amazing flesh she'd ever get to feel, that it would be okay. Maybe she'd find out a little later, but first she was going to kiss Arizona for all she was worth.

There was no warm up this time, no gentle nips to get them started. This was Callie letting herself really go for the first time and wanting to show Arizona how much pure desire she felt for the other woman. Even her hands could not take their time, as they started on either side of Arizona's face but quickly worked their way down her neck before lightly grazing the sides of her breasts until they were working their way under the hem of her shirt. She needed to feel what Arizona's skin felt like, how soft the skin of her torso was, how the muscles of her abdomen jumped whenever Callie's tongue ran along the roof of Arizona's mouth. It was intoxicating to realize she could have this much power over Arizona's reactions.

Arizona's hands were far from idle as well. They had returned to the small of Callie's back, just as she had done that morning in the court house bathroom, but this time she alternated using the pads of her fingers to trace circles and then lightly raking her fingernails up and down Callie's spine. At every trail along her back, Callie would moan as she deepened her kiss or bit lightly on Arizona's lip, causing a moan from the blonde in reply.

As Callie moved her lips down to the edge of Arizona's jaw, she heard Arizona practically breathe out her name, "Calliope." It made Callie smile and then she let out the lightest of laughs.

Arizona was breathing hard and Callie could hear her swallow hard before she finally gasped out, "What's funny?"

Callie took a moment to nip at the skin just below Arizona's ear before she pulled back to look into Arizona's eyes. They took Callie's breath away for a moment as she realized she had never seen them so dark blue before from the obvious desire she was feeling. Finally, Callie closed her own eyes for a moment and took in a breath to calm herself down before she opened her eyes and smiled. "I was just thinking how I normally hate it when people use my full first name. It reminds me too much of my parents scolding me. But when you say it, it's so beautiful. I think one of the first things that made me truly see I was attracted to you was when I realized that I not only loved it when you called me Calliope, but that I craved it."

Arizona smiled and she drew one hand from Callie's back to reach up and tuck a lock of black hair behind Callie's ear. "It's such a beautiful name, Calliope. Calliope was the muse of poetry, and what's more romantic than poetry, right?" She leaned up and planted a soft kiss on the full lips. "Calliope," she whispered.

Callie's toes actually curled as the butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She somehow doubted Arizona just knew that about her name, and it made her feel really cared for that she had taken the time to look it up. She could bet that Owen still didn't know that and he certainly had never even asked her about it. "My mother majored in English in college and was a huge fan of Homer. Calliope was supposed to be his muse." She let out a deep breath and leaned down to return the soft kiss.

"Okay, this is going to sound like a bad pickup line, but the first thought that came to my head was that if she was half as beautiful as you, Homer wouldn't have been able to resist."

Callie laughed again. "Yeah that was corny, but lucky for you, I like corny once in a while." She let her eyes fall to Arizona's lips again and she just needed to be kissing them again. "And I'll fall for every pickup line you can give me," she said on her way to doing just that.

Callie had read a long time ago in Cosmo or one of those annoying magazines that a great kisser took hints from oral sex, and so she put that suggestion into practice by not just kissing, but also licking and sucking on Arizona's lower lip before moving up to the Cupid's bow of her upper lip and drawing it into her mouth to suck on it, at first gently, but then as Arizona moaned and thrust into Callie with her hips, she drew on the delicate flesh that much harder.

The kissing continued for who knew how long. At times Arizona would take control, but then Callie would reassert herself, often moving down to her neck or up to nibble on one of her ears. Finally Callie started sucking gently on Arizona's neck just where it joined her shoulder.

"You're going to give me a hickey," Arizona said with a mixture of laughter and the husk of desire.

"Yup," Callie said before returning to where she was enjoying sucking and licking at the flesh in that one spot.

"I'll have to wear a turtleneck to work," Arizona said with an obviously playful whine.

It made Callie smile for a moment that Arizona had forgotten all the other bruising on her neck, which had certainly faded somewhat but still stood out starkly against her pale skin. The hickey would never be noticed by anyone, at least not as anything other than part of her injuries, and it was one of the reasons why she was willing to leave this mark on Arizona. Normally, she would never do that, because it seemed so high school and even mean to make the person wear that mark the following day for all the world to see, but since it would go largely unnoticed because of the other bruises, she wanted to take this opportunity to leave her mark on Arizona so that every time she saw her in the next day or so, she'd have that visual reminder of this evening. "No one will notice," she whispered before blowing gently on the reddened flesh and then placing a gentle kiss there. Arizona didn't say anything else about it, so Callie figured she was off the hook.

The kissing started to calm down and become more tender and even lazy after that. After all, there was only so much either of them could handle before getting to that moment of critical mass where they wouldn't be able to keep control of their libidos and hold themselves to their agreement. But that was all for the best because Callie knew neither of them was ready even if they hadn't decided to wait. And, besides, she had to admit that while she loved the heated making out, the sweet kisses were just as nice.

Finally, Callie just laid her head down on Arizona's shoulder and sighed contentedly. "So, are you reassured now?"

Arizona hummed thoughtfully and then shrugged. "Maybe, but I'm going to need to be reassured on a regular basis, okay? At least a few times a week."

Callie bit at her lip as she thought about all those future possibilities for feeling Arizona's lips on her own and her body and hands against her. "That can easily be arranged."

Arizona yawned then and Callie was reminded that while she was quickly healing, Arizona still needed her sleep to allow her body to get better, especially now that she was returning to work in the morning and would be expected to work a full day with potentially no time for a quick nap. "What do you say we get some sleep?"

"Sounds like a good idea."

Callie went into the bathroom in the spare room to get ready for bed. When she had finished her evening ritual and put on the shorts and t-shirt she had brought to sleep in, she walked toward Arizona's bedroom, feeling the butterflies dancing in her stomach again. She was going to get to snuggle with this incredible woman, get to have her be the last thing she saw before falling asleep and the first thing she'd see in the morning. It was what she wanted down the road for their relationship more and more every day.

As she walked into the bedroom she stopped and leaned up against the doorframe to watch Arizona fiddle around with the items on her dresser. She was quite adorable when she was nervous, and with the way she kept moving the knickknacks and picture frames around, it was obvious she was quite nervous. But more than the adorableness, Callie enjoyed just looking at this amazingly gorgeous woman who was wearing a tight pink tank top and matching pink and light blue checkered pajama bottoms. God she really is just beautiful. How did I never figure this out before? It had been almost three full years since Arizona had come to work at Seattle Grace and it felt like such a shame to Callie that they had wasted those years. But then again neither of us was ready. We needed that time to get to exactly the right point where we could be ready to see that we need one another. And God do I need her. Callie cleared her throat then and smiled when Arizona jumped before turning around. "You ready for bed?"

"Yeah, sure," Arizona said as her eyes clearly swept up Callie's body. "You really do make a simple t-shirt and shorts look damned sexy."

Callie smiled as she pushed off the wall and moved over toward her. "And boy are those pajamas just you in fabric—sexy and adorable all at the same time."

Arizona smiled before she took a shaking breath and looked over toward the bed. Her words then spilled out in a jumble. "So, since this is more than just napping and I really don't care, I figured you should pick a side, you know since I'm sure you're used to one side after all the years with Owen and all. It's not a big thing or anything, of course, but I want you to be as comfortable as possible."

Callie moved closer and wrapped her hands around Arizona's waist. She placed her head on Arizona's shoulder and took a breath. "Yeah, this is always a big step, huh? Choosing sides."

"It doesn't have to really mean anything."

"I want it to," Callie said quickly before Arizona could continue.

"You do?" There was a hesitation and a hint of anxiety in her words.

"Arizona, I told you, I want this to work with you and the more time I spend with you, the more I feel like it just might. I want us to work and I want us to eventually be able to think about really sharing our lives, and that would include sharing a bed. So, yes, this means something to me and it's a good thing, a very good thing."

Arizona's arms tightened around Callie and let out a contented sigh. "I want that, too, and you're right, every day I'm feeling more and more confident that it just might happen. So, then, do you have a preference?"

Callie looked at the bed and thought about it. She wanted a clean break from her marriage and wanted to start everything new with Arizona. "With Owen, I've always slept on the left, so I think it might be good to swap. You know, start fresh and all that. Is the left okay for you?"

"It's perfect," she said as she turned and placed a gentle kiss on Callie's cheek. Arizona then extracted herself from Callie's arms and moved around to what was now going to be her side of the bed.

Callie watched her go, enjoying how her hips swayed under the checkered pajama bottoms, before turning and sliding into the right side of the bed. It was a little strange, after five years of sleeping on the other side of the bed, but it felt good to make this change with Arizona. She reached up and turned the lamp on the nightstand off before rolling onto her side to face Arizona. "Are you feeling safe enough to sleep?"

Arizona turned off her lamp and took Callie's hand before rolling over and pulling on it so that Callie would slide up to her back. She then tucked both their hands around her waist. She snuggled down into her pillow and let out a quiet sigh. "I definitely feel safe enough to sleep. You're here and that's all I need."

"I'm glad. Good night, Arizona. Sleep well," Callie whispered into Arizona's ear before kissing her on the shoulder and snuggling down on the pillow right behind Arizona.

"Good night, Calliope," Arizona said and it was clear from her voice that she was incredibly tired. In fact, it only took a few moments before her breathing settled into the steady rhythm of sleep.

Callie stayed awake and listed to Arizona breathe, and just enjoyed the feeling of Arizona in her arms. As she started to drift off herself, she couldn't help but think how perfect things were with Arizona. I wish I could tell you how I truly feel, Arizona, but it's too soon. I'm still not ready to say it and I really don't think you're ready to hear it. But one day, hopefully pretty soon, I'll tell you exactly what I'm feeling. How I was lost until I found you. How I didn't know myself at all until I saw me through your eyes. And how incredibly in love with you I am. I do. I really love you, Arizona.

TBC…