She switched the small tabletop lamp on as she took a seat at the little red desk in her room. They had turned off the overhead lights hours ago, she was unsure of the time since she did not have the luxury of a clock. She couldn't sleep although she felt exhausted. The past few days were catching up with her and her mind struggled to sort through everything. Then Bruce came and complicated everything further. Harley felt that she could probably use all the friends she could get right now, but Bruce seemed to hate The Joker more than anyone which put her in a precarious position. Bruce was a nice guy. He was handsome and had money, both were things that Harley never cared about. She was more interested on the person on the inside. He seemed to care about her though and that made her feel almost uncomfortable. She thumbed through the pages of the blank notebook given to her by Joan that morning. Maybe it would feel good to write. Picking up her pen she began scribble about the first memories that came to mind.
Lucy had been two, maybe two and a half. Harley had taken the little girl to the store for some milk and bread and to meander the aisles to pass the time. Jack was on her mind constantly then. He was up to something – she could tell during the most recent visit of his. He had been even more checked out than usual. He had opted to mow the lawn for her, slowly pushing the mower back and forth through the overgrown grass. She caught him more than once sitting on the couch, staring at the wall ahead while his mind ran elsewhere. Lucy played by his feet, combing her doll's hair quietly or untying his shoelaces. He was calculating something and it had made Harley nervous.
Lucy was sitting in the front of the cart, tiny legs dangling out of her seat. She was starting to get anxious to leave and her voice was getting whiney. "Maaaaamaaaa!", she complained. "Go home now!" Harley looked back to the small blonde girl with pleading eyes. "Okay, honey, okay. We'll go.", Harley assured as she gently tugged one of Lucy's pigtails. On their way to the front of the store, they passed the electronics section. A dozen TV monitors lined the wall and they were all displaying the same obnoxiously loud and bright cartoon, one of Lucy's favorites. Harley realized her mistake of passing by the screens when Lucy wailed that she wanted to watch. Realizing it would be much easier to let her watch the show for five minutes than argue for the next fifteen, Harley wheeled the cart over to the monitors. Lucy clapped joyfully and danced along to the theme song.
"Holy crap! Change it to channel four, bro!", a teenage boy's voice called.
Harley turned to see two young guys fumbling around for a remote and jabbing at the buttons before the cartoon disappeared and the news station appeared. Lucy began to cry until his voice boomed through the speakers. Lucy became quiet as did everyone else, at least eight other shoppers and store workers were instantly frozen in terror as The Joker interrogated a man they would later learn was Brian Douglas. His mistake was believing in Batman and attempting to duplicate his vigilante justice. "Look at me!", The Joker yelled to Brian and the voice sounded foreign to Harley. This was the first time she had actually seen him wearing full makeup. She had never quite understood what an out of body experience would feel like, but she was feeling it now. So this is what he had been thinking about, planning, scheming. He was public now in Gotham. The video ended with a shrill laugh which made several bystanders jump before the scene returned to the news anchor. They rarely saw Gotham news in their small town, but if something big happened like when the Scarecrow released his signature fear toxin, it made the news across the state.
The several shoppers began to whisper to each with concern and Harley turned to see Lucy who was smiling bigger than ever. "Daddy! Daddy!", she squealed as she pointed to the television screens. Harley's eyes widened and her face turned red in embarrassment. People were starting to stare as Lucy giggled gleefully. "Daddy! My daddy!" Harley began to push the cart between the shoppers as all eyes rested on her. Lucy began to cry as they left the electronics area, "Wait! No, daddy on TV!".
Harley was tempted to leave the store, dragging Lucy kicking and screaming without buying any of the items in the cart, but they needed milk. Jack drank the rest of what they had when he visited over the weekend. She picked the shortest line and tried to quiet her racing heart. An older woman who had been standing near them while the Joker clip played came to stand in line behind them. Lucy continued to blubber about her daddy and Harley quickly tossed the contents of their cart on the conveyor belt.
The older woman placed her hand on Lucy's and cooed, "Oh sweetheart, that wasn't your daddy. That was a very bad man. He hurts people. I'm sure you have a very nice daddy waiting for you at home."
Harley quickly turned to give the woman a pointed glare. "Excuse me!", Harley scolded.
"I just didn't want the little one to have any nightmares about what she saw back there. We should pray to God that man doesn't have any children. Can you imagine?"
Harley fumbled over what she should say. She felt both embarrassed and also defensive. "Maybe you should mind your own business." Harley grabbed the cart from the back and pulled it forward, away from the woman. She tossed a twenty dollar bill at the cashier and grabbed the gallon of milk before rushing out of the store. It had just started to rain and Harley rushed to get Lucy buckled into the car seat before falling into her own seat. She sat quietly before turning on the car. The rain made pattering sounds that soothed her. She wiped the droplets from her forehead and adjusted herself in her seat to sit more upright. Her breathing calmed down and she ran her car keys through her fingers. She let the jagged edge rest against fleshy web between her thumb and index finger. As she pressed down and felt the dull pain, she felt calmer.
"Mommy? Daddy a bad guy?", Lucy asked innocently.
Harley dropped the keys into her lap and looked into the rearview mirror. The sweet, round face met her gaze and she looked so innocent, so hopeful. "No, honey, daddy is not a bad guy."