Episode 6: The Commander and the Quarian

Chapter 26: To Stand on Ceremony

Tali was just finishing up her work on the drive core for the night when Shepard had shown up. As usual, he had intentionally made his footfalls heavier to alert her of his presence, a gesture that Tali found sweet somehow. The quarian turned to face him, a smile across her face beneath the violet mask.

"John, it's good t-" She stopped with a small gasp, bringing her hands up to her helmet as though to cover her mouth.

"What's wrong?" Shepard's face displayed genuine concern.

"Commander, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Commander? A second ago you called me by my first name. Why the sudden formality?"

Tali slumped. "I-… …I didn't mean to offend you…"

"Offend me? Why would I be offended?"

The quarian shifted nervously, wringing her hands. "In… in quarian society, we never call a ship's captain by their first name alone, only their family or closest friends would ever dare. It's considered disrespectful for anyone else."

Shepard grasped her hands, bringing their nervous dance to a halt. "And you don't think you're one of my closest friends? We just took down Saren together for crying out loud."

He brought his hand to the chin of her helmet and lifted her eyes to meet his. Tali shivered as he looked at her. What was with that look? His body language indicated some awkwardness, despite his words, but there was something in his eyes. Longing? Keelah! Could he really have feelings for her? Tali's heart fluttered. No! She had to stop thinking about it! She was only setting herself up for-

Shepard looked down. "You have no idea how long I've wanted you to call me by my first name…"

"Wh- What- What do you mean?" She managed. "Shepard?"

"John, please Tali, call me John."

He did. Something in his voice, the way he asked. He did have feelings for her! "John…"

Goosebumps rippled down Shepard's back. He smiled and her legs nearly gave out. "It means a lot to hear you say it."

If there was ever a time to tell him, it was now. Tali inhaled deeply, regaining a fragment of her composure. "Shepard I-"

"John," he corrected.

"Shep- John," She had to make a conscious effort to catch herself. She had to tell him now, before she lost what little nerve she had left. "I, need to… confess something-… I wouldn't blame you if you thought I needed to leave; it could interfere with standard operation, cause problems with the crew…" She tried to fidget, but Shepard's gentle grasp on her hands prevented it. "I've… I'm… You're…" She faltered.

The Commander gave her hands a gentle squeeze. "I'm here for you Tali. Tell me what's wrong."

'I'm here for you.' Dammit, Shepard, you know just what to say to make it harder on me. The sentence came out as a whisper; timid, uncertain, and utterly innocent. "I-… I think I'm-… I love… you." Tali started. Where the geth had that come from? ! Had she really said it? Had she finally voiced her feelings? Out of nowhere, she'd blurted the affection she'd held for him for so long, never having dared hope that her sentiments would be reciprocated. "I-… Keelah, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…" She tried to sink to her knees, ashamed at having emotions towards someone so far above her, but yet again, the Commander's firm hands kept her where she was.

She felt the grip on her hands vanish for a second before it was replaced by a tight squeeze encompassing her chest and back. She realized that Shepard was embracing her. "There's no reason to be sorry." He released the hug and held her shoulders, staring at her eyes. "You may not have noticed, but you have been getting preferential treatment, and it's not because you're an Admiral's daughter."

Tali felt dizzy. This can't be happening! I'm going to wake up in a few minutes to find the engine room empty. Shepard will be in his cabin, I'll be here alone.

She covertly pinched herself, but the Commander noticed despite her efforts to conceal the gesture.

"I certainly hope it's not a dream. I love you Tali'Zorah."

The memory flowed through her mind, a warm echo of comfort and happiness that kept her awake through the night. Tomorrow she would marry the man she'd first confessed her love to nearly four years ago on the original Normandy in a blue-lit engine room.

Tali felt as though her heart would explode. She stood in the private quarters of the Morana, the largest quarian liveship in the fleet; the one her father had served on before transferring to the Rayya; the same ship she'd been aboard almost five years ago at the start of her Va'Seras, her pilgrimage. The dreadnaught sized vessel was one of the oldest in the fleet, being about 300 years old.

The massive ship had been selected to house the most important social event that the quarian people had hosted in over thirty years. Today, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, daughter of Admiral Rael'Zorah vas Rayya would become Tali'Zorah kas Shepard vas Normandy, wife of the galaxy's most renowned hero. The young quarian shook with anticipation, joy and fear. She was about to become bonded with the only man in her life that mattered to her.

"Hold still, girl!" Rikka'Lae vas Andras put her hand on her hip, waiting for the young woman in front of her to stop trembling. "I can't get you ready if you're constantly moving."

The other quarian was about Tali's height and dressed in an azure environment suit. The customary gold and blue 'veil' she wore had been replaced with a ceremonial cloth of similar design. The notable difference between the two garments was found in their length. While Rikka's usual attire stopped around the lower thigh, the ceremonial veil had two extended lengths of fabric, one hanging from each knee, creating an ethereal flowing effect when she walked.

Rikka was busy trying to fit Tali with a similar garment, this one woven of pale, almost white, violet thread with silver-gold as the secondary color. The veils were stored and saved for Khelat ceremonies such as this one.

Tali felt her attendant tighten the cloth across her back and fasten a thin silver band around her midsection. She noticed that the extra fabric on this veil enabled it to cover both the outer sides and front of her legs, while the rest was full and flowing, almost reaching past the small of her back. She couldn't help but think of the veil she and Kasumi were working on.

"You know, when Nolta told me he'd been assigned to your task force for Haestrom, I didn't believe him." Rikka momentarily stopped her work as she called up the memory. "He said it was an honor to serve with you. 'The savior of the Citadel,' he'd said, 'she fought alongside the savior of the Citadel'. He'd thought it would bring honor to the Lae family."

Tali could hear her friend's voice choke as the thought of her husband's death surfaced. "He did, Rikka," Tali began. "He wiped out an entire geth platoon, plucked one of their drop-ships straight out of the sky."

Rikka let her head droop. "He thought of you as a leader Tali'Zorah. The hero of the quarian people."

"He spoke of you often," The younger quarian mused. "Said he missed your cooking."

The two quarians laughed at the joke, Nolta had always been the impromptu chef aboard the Andras when the official cook fell ill, which was often.

"Does he have biotics?" Rikka asked, resuming her task.

"John? Yes, why?"

"Make sure he uses them tonight." A sparkle seemed to shine from behind Rikka's mask. "You'll FLIP!"

Tali blushed. "I, uh, we'll probably- erm, just skip those first."

Rikka shrugged. "Fair enough, but I can tell you now, Nolta was one creative son of a shuttle. It's crazy what a few mass effect fields can do…"

"Rikka!"

"Facts are facts, hon. If you don't try it your first night, you have to try it the second time."

The Morana's atrium had been decorated to the limit of quarian festivities. Bright banners hung from the walls, reflecting the soft illumination of the chamber's massive lights. Small sets of portable maintenance lights had been positioned under each of the banners, adding to the purple and silver glow that the fabric already cast.

Tali stared up at the curved ceiling, recalling the last time she'd been here. Like the night of her Va'Seras, the room was packed. All of the quarian guests were adorned in ceremonial veils, lending a mystic feel to the atmosphere.

The Quarian could pick out several individuals among the crowd. The admirals stood arrayed to the left, the only noticeable absence being Shala, who would be performing the ceremony. Kal'Reegar and Rikka'Lae stood next to several other quarians that she or Shepard had helped or been acquainted with in some form or other. Tali went over their names in her head; Lia'Vael nar Ulnay, now vas Sethala, Captain Taar'Dei vas Netoa, her former captain Kar'Dana, even Jona'Re, Netoa's chief medical officer. Bardi'Reska vas Rayya's distinctive pink and white ceremonial veil caught her attention and sparked a chuckle from the young quarian. Bardi smiled behind his mask and waved to her.

On the right of the atrium, a small band of humans stood with the Normandy's crew. Councilor Anderson, Admiral Hackett, even John's mother, Hannah Shepard stood watching. All of the guests had been fitted with environment suits to prevent contamination of the Morana's delicate clean-room environment.

It had been hell trying to get them admittance to the migrant fleet, but John's status in concert with Anderson's council position and Tali's service had eventually swayed the admirals.

Tali saw Shepard ascend the platform, fully armored and weaponless. He was wearing a modified helmet incorporating a full, clear, detachable facemask, allowing her to see his smile. The wedding had been organized as a blended ceremony, a mixture of the quarian ritual and its human counterpart.

Shala lifted her arms and addressed the room. "This gathering has been called to witness the joining of Tali'Zorah vas Normandy with Captain John David Shepard vas Normandy in the sacred union of the Khelat-Bond, and in Holy Matrimony." Tali felt her blood coursing through her body, the pulse even stronger than it had been earlier. This was it! It was finally happening!

Shala recited an ancient blessing in the old language, eliciting a collective "Keelah se'lai" from the audience.

After a minute of silence, Shala handed Tali a black and green cloth, which the younger quarian proceeded to wrap around her forearm. Shepard was presented with a purple and gold fabric and did likewise.

"Captain Shepard, do you take Tali'Zorah as your lawful wedded wife, and do you solemnly swear to protect and cherish her, to keep her in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, for better or for worse, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Shepard's voice echoed in Tali's head.

"And do you, Tali'Zorah take Captain Shepard as your lawful wedded husband, and do you solemnly swear to honor and love him, to keep him in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, for better or for worse, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Tali responded, the words engraved into her mind from the long rehearsal two days ago.

Another minute of silence passed as Tali and Shepard both removed the gloves from their left hands. Shala again broke the silence. "Do you have the rings?"

Shepard drew a pair of golden-platinum bands from his belt, repeating the sentence as Shala instructed.

"With this ring, I thee wed."

Tali felt a shiver travel through her body as the cold metal contacted her skin. The ring gleamed brilliantly against her soft, sand-colored hand.

The Quarian reverently took the second ring from Shepard's hand and repeated the mantra. She looked at his five fingered hand and nearly panicked. Which finger was the ring supposed to go on? John sensed her confusion and almost imperceptibly wiggled his ring finger, a knowing smile shone from behind his mask. The Quarian recollected herself and slid the band home.

"Place your hands together." Shala's gentle instruction followed the motion.

Shepard inverted his hand, palm-up, and waited for Tali to place her palm in his. Shala silently unwrapped the cloths around their forearms and wove them together over the couple's interlocked digits, binding them together.

"Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Rayya, you are now Tali'Zorah kas Shepard vas Normandy." The Admiral raised her hands as if in worship. "Let this proclamation be known among the quarian people, these two are now forever bound." Shala let her hands fall and began to utter the final phrase of the ceremony. "I now pronounce you man and wife, you may k-..." The elder quarian's voice stalled as she recalled the rehearsal. They had never actually taken off the masks.

A quiet gasp arose from the audience when the quarians realized what she had been about to say. Tali rested her free hand on Shala's arm. "It's okay, Shala, we prepared."

Admiral Raan nodded her head uncertainly and began again. "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may… kiss… the bride."

Tali let her eyes close momentarily as she reached for the Commander's face-mask. She could hear the gentle hiss as her helmet depressurized, releasing its grasp on her own face-plate. The auditorium was totally silent and the lights dimmed, hiding Tali and Shepard's faces from the crowd. Shepard looked into his wife's glowing eyes, glittering silver in the faint light and slowly brought his mouth to hers.

Total silence surrounded them as they embraced, passionately savoring their deep affection. Tali's mind traveled through their history as they kissed; A dark alleyway in the bowels of the citadel, faint red light bathing the area in an ominous glow; standing in front of the council, exposing Saren for the villain he was; rescuing the colonists on Feros from the Thorian's insipid grasp. She remembered Noveria, where Shepard had killed Benezia and spared the Rachni; Virmire, where she'd seen him cry for the first time as Chief Williams died; Therum and Ilos scrolled through her memory; finally the Citadel, where Saren and Sovereign were finally subdued.

She saw the Normandy burning as Shepard's body was thrown to an icy grave, tearing away her will to live; two years after, she'd met him again on Freedom's Progress, restoring a sense of meaning to her life. Now, nearly four and a half years after she had met the Commander for the first time, she stood aboard the Morana, married to the man himself.

The Commander and the quarian descended the dais hand in hand after replacing their masks. Several guests vied for their attention, but Shepard had one person in particular that he wanted Tali to see face to face, as it were. Tali had spoken to her (at the time) future mother-in-law, on only two occasions prior, but the quarian still felt unsure about the meeting.

A brief walk took the pair through several of the crowd, finally stopping in front of Hannah Michelle Shepard. The Commander's mother was a tall, trim woman, with an air of grace and warmth around her that emanated through the clear facemask she wore.

"Jonathan!" Hannah's eyes sparkled with unshed tears. She greeted her son with a hug that broke Tali's grasp of his hand. She released the embrace and followed up with a hug to the Commander's somewhat bewildered bride.

"It's good to finally meet you in person, Tali'Zorah, Jonathan speaks of nothing else."

The quarian cringed. "Th- thank you, Mrs. Shepard."

"Tali, you're part of the family now, call me mom."

Tali was somewhat taken aback by the woman's forwardness, but Hannah was indeed her new mother-in-law, both by quarian and human tradition. She nodded awkwardly.

Almost as an afterthought, the elder woman added, "I'm sorry, I meant to ask: is it 'Tally' or 'Tahli'?"

"E- either one is, uh, fine." Tali nodded uncertainly.

They chatted for a few more minutes, discussing various details about life aboard the Normandy or Hannah's day job before Admiral Raan filtered into view just behind the couple, catching Mrs. Shepard's attention.

"Well Jonathan, be good to her." Hannah nodded at Tali, the tears in her eyes threatening to spill over. She turned again to face her new daughter-in-law. "If he's ever out-of-line, you call me. I'll straighten him out lickety-split."

Shala stepped forward after Shepard's mother had left, adorned in her own ceremonial cloth with the hood pulled back.

"It is good to see you so happy, child." The elder quarian dipped her head slightly, then ran her hand along the fringe of the veil.. "Your mother wore that veil at her Khelat. I've pulled a few strings Tali, it's yours now."

Tali was speechless. The ceremonial cloths were sacred, to own one was nearly unheard of. Only the most famous, important figures in the fleet ever owned more than one veil, let alone a ceremonial garment.

"Shala, I, I, I can't accept this." She stammered.

"It is our gift, the gift of the quarian people to their sister, Tali'Zorah kas Shepard vas Normandy. Be well Tali. Keelah se'lai." Shala bowed and excused herself as another caller petitioned for their attention.

Bardi'Reska vas Rayya. The elder quarian was slightly bent with age, but still alert and full of life. Tali threw her arms around her old friend the moment he drew close.

"Ooof! Careful there, I ain't as young as I used to be."

She could see the glint of the old man's teeth through the mask as he smiled. "John, this is Bardi'Reska vas Rayya, he was chief engineer aboard the Rayya when I left for my pilgrimage."

"Nothin' more than a child when you went off on your Va'Seras." The tone in the aged quarian's voice betrayed both his amusement and his emotion. "Now look at ya, barely twenty five years old, already saved the citadel and bonded." He shook his head smiling. "Sure picked a good'un though."

Bardi offered a hand to the Commander, who accepted the gesture. "You take good care of her, Captain, I won't have anybody mistreatin' my star pupil." The Engineer's eyes welled up as he watched the human give Tali a quick side-hug.

"I will, Mr. Reska, of that you can be sure."

Bardi offered a final nod and excused himself as yet another caller appeared next to the couple.

Shepard stepped into his cabin, holding Tali as he crossed the threshold. The Quarian held her arms loose around his neck. The Commander slowly eased her down, letting her gain her footing before letting go completely.

"Well dear, here we are." He stated.

Tali tilted her head, "Dear?"

"It's a term of affection. Think 'dear to me'." He replied, caressing her helmeted head.

"I guess now I have to start calling you Ne'Bahnté." She quipped.

It was Shepard's turn to be confused.

"It means 'my lover' in the old tongue."

He smiled. "I'm gonna take a shower really quick, it gets pretty hot in that armor. I'll be right back."

Tali nodded then leaned back with her head canted at a suggestive angle. It should get 'hot' enough when he gets out. She smiled to herself as the door to the bathroom closed behind him.

Revision notes:

Thanks to DarkDanny and two others whose names elude me, I had a LOT of material to sift through to finish the revised version of this chapter. As it stands, There were a mound of things that I wanted to add, or change but they simply didn't work I had planned on adding Kasumi to the scene where Tali is getting ready, but the rewrite refused to read enjoyably, it felt stilted and stiff.

Original Author's Note:

After a rather lengthy discussion about the previous chapter's mechanics with DA (what I'll be calling Demented Assassin in these notes from now on) the subject of quarian ceremonies came up. I've been keeping up with his current story 'Pilgrimage' and he mentioned something to the effect that it might be amusing if Bardi (one of the characters in said story) were to attend the wedding. I took this idea whole hog and incorporated more than a few other references to his work as well (After discussing it with him of course.)

It's beginning to look like we're forming something of a collaborative effort after all. :P JK

As to the ceremony, that was a challenge in itself. I originally had quarian vows in addition to the human vows, but decided to do something of a blend, as the quarians would likely hold the marital status in such high regard as to view such statements as redundant by this point in a given relationship.

The Binding of the Hands was originally Harold_Genhi's idea, I take no credit for it.