Warnings: Boylove, swearing, violence, mentions of anorexia, self harm, paedophilia, and of course, the horrible butchering of Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters.

Pairings: AkuRoku, Zemyx, XigDem, MeganxSeifer, some MarVex, possibly Cleon later on... what? I'm a fangirl, so sue me!

This is my first fanfic, so if you guys hate it... well, I don't blame you. Feel free to flame me, but just so you know, every time you flame a fanfiction, a chocobo dies...

Oh, and I don't own these characters, which is probably for the best, since I would do things to Axel that would... ANYWAY, on with the story!

Axel

I lay stretched out on Roxas's sofa, flicking through the stupidest channels in the hope of finding something decent to watch before Roxie came back in with something to eat. Megan was out picking Demyx up from his boyfriend's house and their dad was being a dick someplace else, so everything was okay, at least for now.

"You're not going to find anything interesting, you know," Roxas said as he came back in, throwing me a bag of marshmallows and opening a low-fat yoghurt for himself. "Megan blocked all the decent channels because they were scaring Dem."

I shrugged, turning the TV off, tossing the remote onto the sofa beside me and sitting up. "I can think of things I'd rather be doing right now, anyway."

"Axel, I told you, we can't, if my dad comes in and finds us then we're both dead." Roxas sat down next to me, a good foot away, just in case. "Anyway, I thought you were still sore from yesterday?"

I felt myself go pink just from the memory of all the times we had had sex yesterday, every single one of them with Roxas topping because for such a small guy, he had a whole lot of strength, and because he kept threatening to get dressed and leave every time I asked to top. I think he was trying to prove a point more than anything. He was going to get my revenge in full the second I had him alone again – apart from now, because of course, his dad was a homophobic dick.

"I'm a little sore, but that's nothing that a little more sex couldn't fix," I said, moving slightly closer to Roxas. "How 'bout it?"

"Axel, that's the stupidest logic I ever heard. Sex is what caused the problem in the first place, so more sex isn't going to help. It will make it worse. See how that works?"

I pouted. "Please, Roxie. I want you. I need you. Please?"

He just ate his yoghurt. Little fucker. He was going to get pounded into the floor next time he was at my house. Or in the boys' locker room. Or anywhere there was a floor, really.

There was the sound of the key turning in the lock and the oddly noisy front door being pushed open, and I started cramming marshmallows into my mouth in an effort to look like I hadn't just been trying to get into Roxas's pants.

"Hey, Rox." Oh, okay, it was only Megan. She seemed to be trying to get Roxas laid. Even gave him condoms, little angel that she is. I have to say, in all honesty, that she was really starting to grow on me. She would clearly give her right arm for Roxas, and she was providing us with free condoms, so really I couldn't complain. "You two both okay?"

I nodded and Roxas glared at her in a way that suggested he would be perfectly happy if she just left the country. She grinned at us both, eyes sparkling, and left the room. I listened carefully to her voice in the hall, "Dem, you wanna run upstairs and get changed or something? I'll do some laundry for you if you want."

"So, Roxas..." I slid an arm around his shoulders, receiving an adorable glare in return. "Your brother's upstairs, your sister's doing laundry, and your dad is nowhere to be seen."

"No, Axel. You dare and I'll get your ass in court for date-rape." He scowled. He was so damn cute when he scowled like that. "I mean it. I do not want to have sex with you right now."

"Right now you don't. And it's only date-rape if you don't enjoy it." I reached over to the sensitive spot on his left hip, the one that made him squirm if you stroked it in circles, and began working on making my lickle Roxie hard. "You like that, Roxie?"

"Call me Roxie again and I'll fucking bite your dick off next time I'm sucking you off," Roxas snapped, making me even warmer than I already was. I loved it when he threatened me, especially when he meant it. "Ah! Shit, Axel!"

"What?" I asked, pulling back because something was clearly wrong. "What's wrong?"

"Look!" He waved his wrist in front of my face angrily, too fast for me to actually see anything. "You fucking burnt me, you moron!"

"Shit!" I caught hold of his hand, my own body now cooling off so quickly that I felt sick, and looked at the angry red marks on his perfect white skin. Fuck. "I'm so sorry, Roxie, I didn't mean to..."

"Didn't mean to what?" Demyx asked, waltzing through the door looking all ditzy and carrying a bottle of Tango. "What happened?"

"Axel fucking burnt me." Roxas pulled his arm out of my grip and shuffled to the other end of the sofa. Demyx raised his eyebrows and sat down between the two of us, probably to prevent anything worse happening. He was smarter than everyone gave him credit for, really. "Dem-yx, go and get Megan to yell at him or something."

Roxas was pouting at his older brother. Fuck, I wished I had a camera.

"Don't worry. Gimme your wrist." Roxas held out his wrist obediently, wincing when Demyx brushed his fingers along the burn marks, which were shaped like my fingers. "Huh. This only happened a minute ago, right?"

"Yeah," I said, mostly to remind the two of them that I was still there, and still wanted to get laid.

"Okay. Let's see if I can do this without getting water everywhere." Effortlessly, Demyx conjured up streams of water, which wound their way around Roxas's wrist, clearly intended to cool it down. The skin slowly turned from red to pale pink and then to normal Roxas colour, and Demyx smiled, clearly pleased with himself.

"Demyx, I didn't know you could do that," I said, leaning across him to look at my boyfriend's wrist, but said boyfriend was still clearly pissed off at me and withdrew his arm before I could get a closer look.

Demyx glowed with pride. "I haven't even told Meg yet, I've just been practising on my own. The only people who know are you, Roxas and Xigbar."

I remembered what Yuffie and Larxene had said about Xigbar and Demyx, as well as the whispered conversations I sometimes caught fragments of between Megan and Naminé, and decided it would be best not to say anything in front of Roxas.

"Hey, Demyx?" Megan stuck her head around the door, clutching a navy blue shirt in one hand. "Can I have a word with you out here?"

"Um... can't we do it in here?" asked Demyx, looking down at his feet, which were clad in the gayest shoes I have ever fucking seen. And I have a boyfriend, so I'm allowed to say that.

Megan bit her lip. It was weird, seeing her in her own house. Like when she was with Naminé, she was less "I'mma-fucking-kill-you" and more "Anyone need anything from the kitchen?" Especially since she was talking to Demyx. She almost came across as a normal human being. Naminé and I still had to figure out how in the name of fuck we were going to get her into a dress for Roxas and my wedding, though. It would probably have to be black or red. Red could work, actually, but only if – "I think we'd be better off talking about this out of Axel and Roxas's earshot, Dem."

"No, I think I should know too, since, you know, I'm also part of this family." Roxas tilted his chin up defiantly, looking roughly twelve. "Axel can leave if you want him to, though."
Megan tapped her chin with one finger. Then she gestured to the door. "You heard your boyfriend, Axie, get out."

"With pleasure, Meggy," I sneered, slamming the door behind me and promptly leaning against it, trying to hear what was going on.

"Dem? What's this?"

"Blood," Demyx replied shortly. I had never heard him that... lifeless before. It was kind of scary.

"Okay..." Megan was clearly leading the conversation. "Is it your blood?"

"Yeah."

"And... how did it get all over your sleeves?"

I swallowed and pressed my ear closer to the door, worried that I wasn't going to be able to hear Demyx at all, he was so fucking quiet at the moment. "How d'you think?"

"When was it, Demyx?" Roxas asked. I winced, not really wanting him to have to deal with this. It wasn't really fair that he had to babysit his older brother all the time. Really, I think that the three of them would do well to find a new home, but they were terrified of being split up. To be honest I didn't really care as long as my Roxie was happy.

Except that it had just come to light that his older brother was hurting himself, so he probably wasn't all that happy.

"I don't know. Last Thursday, maybe? I lost track."

"The fact that you lost track kinda worries me, Dem. How bad is it?" Silence, in which Megan seemed to be tapping something. "Can we have a look?"

"No!" The fear in Demyx's voice made even me cringe, so fuck knows how Megan felt, having been the one to ask the question. "Nobody can see... Meg, you don't understand, it's so ugly, you shouldn't see it..."

"It'll be even uglier if we let it get infected." There was a long, painful pause. "Okay?"

"Yeah..." I assume Demyx was pulling up his sleeves. "There you are."

There was suddenly the sound of hurried footsteps on thin carpet, and the door flew open. I stepped back from it, trying not to look too guilty, and felt something heavy and soft latch onto me.

"Axel..." Roxas whispered, as I moved to shut the door behind him. "Axel, it's so awful, he's so cut up, covered in blood and cuts and scars and it's so awful, why Demyx? Why not me? Oh my God, Axel..."

"It's okay, Roxas." I kissed the top of his head. "He'll be okay. Megan knows what she's doing." Regardless of whether or not I actually liked Megan, I had to admit that she knew what she was doing almost all of the time. "Calm down, sweetheart."

"Axel, my brother... he's so... it's so awful, Axel, it really is..."

"Hey, hey, hey. Take a deep breath, for a start." I could feel him shaking, shaking so hard I was scared that he would break, and I rubbed his back, desperate to make him calmer, happier, anything, really... "Now, how about you and I go out for a while? We can leave Megan to deal with Demyx, and we'll just go out and if you wanna talk about anything..."

Roxas shook his head. "Axel... I think you should go home. I need to be here for Dem, Megan needs to stop trying to do everything on her own, and you should probably go and just chill on your own for a while. It isn't fair that I'm making you deal with my family's shit, and I'm sorry."

"You sure? I don't wanna leave you on your own with all of this going on..."

"I'm sure..." Roxas scratched the back of his head, eyes on the floor. "I'll be okay. I'm worried about Megan, though. She's losing weight and having nightmares more and more often..."

I nodded. "Okay, gorgeous. Call me if you need me. If you're really worried about Meggy, maybe we should introduce her to my grandmother. I think it would be good for her to see what she's gonna be like when she's old."

Roxas chuckled and I gave myself a few brownie points. "Thanks, Axel. I'll see you soon." He paused for a moment, like he was wondering whether or not he should say what he was about to say. "I love you, a whole lot."

My heart skipped a beat and I smiled, a huge, dorky, butterflies-trying-to-escape-my-stomach smile that was probably not all that sexy. "I love you too, my beautiful little Roxie. You'd better get back to your siblings." I leaned down and kissed him quickly on the cheek, then opened his front door. "I'm always available if you need me, all right?"

He nodded with that "No way am I actually going to accept your help, but thanks anyway" face on and retreated back into the living room, leaving me to force myself out of his house, down his front path, and into cold, ignorant Twilight Town, the town that had the downright nerve to look happy and quiet while Megan and Roxas had their hearts ripped out treating their older brother's wounds.

Demyx

"So... yeah." I scrubbed at my eyes with my sleeve again and Megan gave me a look, having already told me to stop doing that at least three times in the past hour. "That's why I've been... doing that." I gestured to the knife that Megan had asked for, the one that I usually hurt myself with. She had already said that taking away the knife wouldn't solve the problem by any stretch of the imagination, because it wasn't the knife that was making my life suck, but Roxas had insisted that I have it confiscated, and I'd agreed.

"I think we need to get rid of Dad." Megan was still Megan-ing, making plans and asking all the difficult questions and not crying even when Roxas and I were both in tears, clinging to each other like the only survivors of a horrible trainwreck. That's all our family was, really, just a horrible trainwreck that we were desperately trying to survive.

...Actually, phrased like that, I can see why Zexion had asked me to move in with him.

"How the fuck are we meant to get rid of Dad?" Roxas demanded. He was red around the eyes, sniffling uncontrollably, and shaking. "We'd just end up being put into foster care, or being adopted by separate families –"

"Roxas, look at your older brother. Look how much pain he's in. Look at yourself, how defensive you've got, how you wouldn't even let Axel in at first."

"Look at you, Megan," I said quietly. "You're getting closer and closer to just breaking down, aren't you?"

She laughed, but it sounded really off. "No, no, I'm fine. You guys are far more important than little old me, anyway."

"No, Megan, we aren't. All three of us are equal. That's what being a family is about, right?" I looked to Roxas for help. "Megan's health matters just as much as mine or yours, right, Rox?"

He nodded. "Demyx is right, Megan. You need to look in the mirror. You're skinnier. You're paler. The concealer can't hide the dark circles under your eyes any more and –"

"Stop it." Megan stood up, but she wasn't intimidating or even angry, just putting on a show, trying to fend Roxas off because he was telling the truth. She really didn't seem to want the truth. "You sound just like Naminé, Roxas, you really do. Have you two been talking behind my back or something?"
"Everyone can see it, Megan. Zexion said yesterday that you look like you're starting to crack up. Xigbar asked me if you have the flu or something. Seifer said –"

"I don't care about Seifer!" she yelled at me, in a way that made me think that actually, she cared rather a lot about Seifer. "I don't wanna know what he says about me when I'm not around! I don't care, I don't like him, I don't even want to be in the same room as him –"

"Megan." Roxas's voice was so quiet that Megan actually stopped completely, her arms falling to her sides, her head dropping slightly. "You're yelling at Demyx. You really think that everything is just fine, just normal, when you're yelling at the one person you've always fought to protect?"

"One of two people, Roxas. You're the other one. And then there's Naminé."

I shifted in my seat. "Look, guys, I'm sorry. If I wasn't so stupid, you wouldn't be –"

"No. No, Demyx, you are not stupid. Don't even say that, all right?" Megan started running her hand through her hair, pushing it back from her face and giving it that "I'm trying not to freak out" look that most people can't pull off all that well. "You're amazing, both of you. I don't know what the fuck I'd do without you two, all right? There, I admitted a weakness. Can we drop the subject of my sanity now?"

Roxas sighed. "I worry about you, Megan."

She leaned forwards and ruffled his hair. "You shouldn't. I'm the older one, I'm meant to worry about you."

"And I'm the oldest, so I should worry about both of you." My eyes fell onto the bottle of antiseptic liquid and the bandages lying on the coffee table, and I tried not to wince. "I guess I'm not doing a very good job so far, huh?"

"You're doing a fantastic job, Demyx. It's just that Dad's screwing you up, that's all." Roxas patted me on the elbow. "We'll figure something out, don't worry."

"The second I'm old enough," I vowed, not for the first time, "I'll rent a house by the ocean and we can all live there, and I can be as gay as I like and Megan can slide down the banister if she feels like it and everything will be absolutely fine."

Megan and Roxas exchanged looks. "Dem, you know... you can't expect all our problems to disappear just because Dad is gone, right?" Megan said, chewing on her lip.

"Problems like what?"

Megan jerked a thumb at the door. "Roxas, out for a minute. I need to talk to Demyx on his own." Rox pouted but left the room, and we could hear him thudding up the stairs, so he probably couldn't eavesdrop on us. "Demyx, even when Dad is gone, you're still going to have the same problems. You're still going to struggle in crowds. You'll still have to choose between Zexion and Xigbar. You're still going to have to cope with the ups and downs of a relationship, not to mention the process of getting over all the horrible stuff that's happened to us. It doesn't just happen overnight, you know. I still have nightmares about my life before, and I don't even remember my life before."

I nodded. "I know, Meg, I know. Turn around a sec." She turned 180 degrees so her back was to me. From behind, I could see her legs better, and yes, Roxas was right, she was starting to lose weight. "Okay, you can turn back now."

"What was that about?" she laughed, reaching her hand up to chew on her already tormented nails but then seeming to think better of it.

"Just needed to see something," I said casually. Well, as casually as I could under the circumstances. Which wasn't really very casual, but Megan seemed to buy it. "You want me to go and get Roxas?"

She nodded, falling onto the sofa as I stood up and snatching up the remote. "I'mma see if there's anything good on."

As I trudged up the stairs, I started to wonder whether Megan would ever get over the stuff that happened to her before. Whatever that stuff actually was.

"She is losing weight," I greeted Roxas by saying, not bothering to knock because I knew he'd just be lying on his bed, browsing the internet. "And she does look ill."

Roxas frowned. "I have no idea what to do. If we try and get her to go to the doctor, she'll flip out at us, won't she?"

I shrugged. "There's no way to really tell with Megan, but I can't imagine a doctor's appointment going well. The thing is that she's so proud..."

"Yeah, she is." Roxas shut his laptop and plugged the charger into the hole at the side. "I think she's worried as well that if a doctor finds out that there's something wrong with her, he'll start investigating the entire family, you know, looking into her background to find out what's making her so ill..."

"And then we'll all get split up," I nodded, understanding what he meant. "Yeah, I see what you mean. I just don't want to wait for her to collapse before we try and do anything about it all."

Roxas nodded. "Well, Axel's worried out of his mind about me, and I bet Zexion's worried about you, and I know that Naminé and maybe Seifer are worried about Megan. If we aren't careful, they'll all exchange notes and realise that something a little bit odd is going on in the family, and then it only takes one of them to inform a "responsible adult"..."

"And then we'll all get split up," I repeated. "The source of all our problems seems to be out desire to stay together, really, doesn't it?"

Roxas grimaced, but nodded. "Sure looks that way, doesn't it, Dem?"

"The thing is, I don't know what I would do without you and Meg, I really don't. You two are the only people who understand everything about me, everything from how to handle me on my bad days to how I like my toast to how I want my socks folded, and I don't think I could go through the ordeal of re-explaining that to someone new, know what I mean?"

"The thing is, Dem... I'm not entirely sure how these things work, but... you're going to be eighteen soon."

"And?" I asked, deciding I might as well stay in Roxas's room and shutting the door behind me.

"And they might not find you new parents, Demyx. They might just find you someplace to live..."

"And leave me on my own." I felt ill at the very thought. An entire kitchen, all to myself, all full of horrible cooking appliances that could slice or burn very, very easily. Walls I could so easily punch, kick, cover in blood if I so pleased, and nobody to get in my way...

"We wouldn't let that happen, though, okay?" Roxas had probably seen the look on my face, somewhere between terror and a sick longing for the freedom to destroy myself. "We'd tell them you were completely incompetent if that's what it takes. We'd lie our asses off to keep you safe, okay? And if the worst comes to the worst, we could all run away together, join the circus or something."

"Megan could do tricks with fire," I suggested, "and I could do stuff with water...

"And I don't have an element," Roxas added glumly, forcing a smile. It suddenly occurred to me that our little brother might actually be jealous of us for a change, which was weird considering that he was the most normal one, the one with the best grades and the most friends and the most ordinary outfits.

"Aww, don't worry, Rox." I reached out and rubbed his back. "Maybe you need to wait til you're a little older. Maybe they only kick in when –"

"Axel can talk to fire, and he's not that much older than me," Roxas argued. I had never realised that he actually cared about the whole element thing. "I don't care all that much, anyway. I could be one of those midgets in a two-person animal suit, like the back end of a horse or something. I don't know."

"Nah, you could be the world's shortest, angriest man," I joked, and Roxas made as if to punch me, but I was so used to him and Megan playfighting with each other that I just raised an eyebrow and waited for a blow that I knew would never come. "Anyway, I bet you have an element. Apart from anything else, Megan never researched anything except fire. Who knows how many elements people are able to manipulate?"

"I think I would be ice, since I'm just that cool."

"But Axel's fire just makes you melt," I pointed out, nudging him. He laughed. Okay, maybe I wasn't quite as bad at the whole big brother thing as I thought I was.

"Okay, so we'll run away and join the circus. That sounds like a solid plan. What happens if they catch us and try to lock us up?"

"We can pretend to be different people. You can be... Jesse McCartney, and then I'll be Eiwob Divad, and Megan... Megan can tell them she's called Midna Davies." Roxas chuckled. "God, she's a nasty piece of work. Midna, I mean."

"Yeah, she is."

I wondered just how badly Roxas would freak out if I told him about me and Xigbar. My guess was a lot. "I was on a date this one time..." Don't mention who with. If he asks, just tell him it was Zexion. "And she starts flirting with me, not realising I'm the older brother of the girl who broke her wrist in two places, and my date's just there like... "I have no idea what to do," and it was really weird because she seemed to be making a point of showing off her boobs..."

"But you think boobs are icky," Roxas nodded, understanding my dislike of boobs because really, what are they even for? "Couldn't she tell that you're, you know, gay?"

"I know! I was wearing these shoes, as well," I pointed to the black trainers with the neon pink laces, "and eyeliner and everything..."

"Some people are just stupid."

"Agreed," I nodded, and Rox and I both grinned, and for a moment I stopped wondering about Xigbar and Zexion and Megan's mental health and everything, and it was one of those glimpses into a normal person's life, hanging out with my little brother and just enjoying myself.

I wish those moments came around a little more often, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

xxx

Eek, I've nearly reached 100 reviews! I'm so glad to have such lovely, amazing readers. In fact, I have just made the probably very rash decision that the 100th reviewer can request a oneshot and I'll write it for them. Any pairing, any theme, as long as it's Kingdom Hearts and not terribly icky. Like, I'm not doing any vampire fics anytime soon, okay, guys?

On another note, if you have a second, could you go and find My Unicorn Romance on here? She's relatively new to the world of fanfiction and she's really talented, so she deserves much love and internet cookies.

*Insert usual review whoring and questions about the plot here*