MC Insanity Meets Middle-earth

I've Got a Backbone and I'm Not Afraid to Use It

With a bit of a sour mood following her, Raina stepped out of the house and gave a little shake. She had, this time, found a cloak to pull on, but figured she'd not need it shortly, as she was heading over to the training grounds. She hoped to find someone to spar with, but if it came down to it she'd just go through her motions alone.

Erestor had been so kind, but like any good professor very stern. He had been quite observant to the fact that she could not speak or understand very much Sindarin, though she had a nice hand with the tengwar. At this point her sourness wasn't so much aimed towards Erestor, or any of the elves really, but her friend. She loved Tira, but honestly sometimes it was a bit dragging to be the only person that had any semblance of control over the wild one.

They all expected her to control Tira, hang any of her interests or wants, but then got upset at her when she couldn't fulfil the basics because she'd been doing as they expected. Since she would never actually hit a person that did not instigate the physical blow first, such as a mugger, her best course of action was, while she actually had time away from Tira duty, to go take out her frustrations on training dummies and willing persons.

Having explained in brief the past two days with Tira to his father, and how she'd come to arrive back in such a condition (for Tea had simply told him that Elladan and Tira were back, and that Tira needed help), Elladan retreated from the stifling house. Two days away and the amount of proper thinking time he'd managed was practically zilch. Since he was hesitant about actually engaging the main source of his ire in physical combat, he figured his best bet was to seek out someone willing to spar out by the training grounds. His shoulder was the best it was going to get, now he just needed to work the muscles back up to where they'd been.

He paid little attention to his surroundings as he made his way through the light coating of snow towards the well-kept grounds. Arriving at what the girls had dubbed "the combat corner", a long, low building that housed dummies, mats, punch bags and other training paraphernalia he entered, clearly hearing sounds of someone within using the bags.

What he was not expecting, however, was the second source of his confusing mix of feelings. He paused in the doorway, watching her as she went through a complicated looking round of kicks and punches and wished he could just stand there forever. Then, shaking that thought away before it became something more he let the door slam shut behind him, a scowl on his face. He had to maintain a cool attitude towards her, for Eru forbid she know his true feelings. No, he could clearly see the mess Elrohir had gotten himself into and did not want a repeat of the same.

She gave one last kick and turned to see who had come in, not expecting Elladan. The scowl on his face was evidence that he had not expected her, either, but she'd be damned if he was going to run her off before she'd worked all her frustrations out. She was here first, she rationalised, and she was not leaving simply because Mr. Cranky-pants, as Tira would say, was in a bad mood.

"When did you arrive back?" She asked, trying to be polite even though he clearly wasn't.

"About twenty minutes ago." He grumped. He hoped she wasn't going to ask how the trip had been, or how Tira was. He didn't know what he would tell her. Hey, sorry but I may have killed your sister by means of neglect…yeah sorry about that…

"And how did it go?"

Of course. He sighed. "We bagged a buck and three rabbits. She shot the buck."

"Oh, how…nice." Raina smiled, trying not to bring to mind the various quotes from the MC about the twins' hunting skills. "And where is she?"

He hesitated before answering, "She went to lie down for a bit. Neither of us got much sleep."

"Oh. Well." Raina nodded. "I guess…I'll finish up in here then go see her."

She shook her hands out, readying to get back into her zone, but his presence was throwing her off. Turning around to face him again she placed her hands on her hips.

"Are you going to just stand there and watch me? I could help you work your shoulder, if you'd like." She motioned to the bag she'd been working with. "My regimen can wait."

She could swear a hopeful look crossed his face before the scowl returned. "I don't need your help."

He had wanted badly to take her up on her offer, but was afraid if he let her too close he would say or do something he'd later regret, something stupid like Elrohir had done. She looked like he had slapped her, and wished he could apologise, but if he did, then he'd have to explain why he'd said it, and that would never do.

"Alright then." She replied stiffly. "I guess I am done in here then."

She gave him a nod then walked by him with her head high, as if he had not just offended or insulted her. Finding her spirit so strong that she could just move on -unlike her friend who would have definitely said something biting- made him feel like dirt. He turned.

"Raina, um…I should warn you that Tira is not…doing well. She is ill, but my father is taking care of her."

"I see." She didn't mention that he'd left that out before. "Thank you for telling me."

As soon as the door shut behind her he looked around, no longer feeling so much the need to beat someone else up, but definitely wishing things were different where he didn't have to withhold his feelings, where he could say what he wanted without acting like an ass. No, he wanted right then to beat himself up.

When the door opened again, he looked up both hoping and dreading that maybe she'd come back, and was slightly, bizarrely, disappointed to find it was his old mentor Glorfindel.

"I know quite well that she was working in here. Care to tell me what happened?" the elder quirked a brow, indicating he knew something had happened between them and not ended well.

"Not really." Elladan answered.

"You do know if you don't tell me I will ask her?"

"Whatever makes you feel better." Elladan replied sulkily. For some reason he felt chastised, but still belligerent and didn't want to talk to anyone, particularly Glorfindel, right then.

Ignoring the older elf, he set to stretching. Taking the hint, Glorfindel smiled and shook his head, then left. Raina had not gotten very far during his short exchange and he easily caught up with her.

Raina startled at his approach, then strained a smile. "Something you needed?"

"Yes. Tell me what he did."

She gave him a slow, blank look before answering evenly, "Nothing out of the ordinary. It is his home, after all." She shrugged.

"And you are our guest." Glorfindel countered. "If someone has been rude to you, whether or not he is my Lord's son, I would like to know so I may take appropriate measures."

"He's always rude."

"And you let him."

"I - what?" His statement clearly caught her off guard.

"Just that. You allow him to be rude to you." Glorfindel gave her a look she could not interpret. "You have a backbone, you need to use it."

She looked back towards the building, thoughtful, like she could see right through the walls to the elf who was giving her hell. "Are you saying…that I should confront him?"

"Elladan tends toward the bad habit of walking over the people around him, consequences be damned. You need to stand up to him."

Her gaze darted to him, back to the house and lingered, then back to the low building they'd just left. Whatever gears were turning in her head seemed on overdrive, indecision, frustration, and finally determination footing across her face.

Looking back at Glorfindel, Raina nodded. "I suppose he's had enough chances by now to do differently."

"Precisely, child." He nodded. "Until later."

Turning back the way she'd come, Raina paused long enough to tell herself she could do this, then squaring her shoulders, she marched back to confront her resident problem, feeling equal parts terror and anger build the closer she got.

Finally, pulling the door open, she blew out a breath and knew it was now or never.

"What is your problem with me?"

He stiffened at that voice and slowly straightened from the crouch he'd been in. He was at odds with himself, amused by her recent discovery of the backbone he knew she'd had and hurt by the fact that she had decided to use it on him and his treatment of her.

He did not immediately answer, but he sensed her come closer.

"Elladan." She sounded torn between being terse and gracious. "Look, ultimately it doesn't matter if you like me or not, but if I've done you some wrong or offended you somehow, I need to know. So I can at least apologise, if not somehow make it up to you."

He couldn't bring himself to turn around and face her; her honest pleas struck him to the core and made him squirm inside.

A sigh. "What is it I've done?"

He really, really wished she wasn't pressing about this. The odd mix of backbone and grace, coupled with his confused feelings, fed off of…whatever tension crackled in the air between them, and that tension settled into his shoulders. He sensed the dam about to burst and gritted his teeth, biting his tongue.

She blew out a breath, trying to restrain some emotion or another, and then suddenly, she was coming around to face him.

"I know you heard me. I—"

As if he was watching from afar, not actually controlling his body he reached out and took her by the shoulders, making her pause in her scold. He licked his lips and took a half step closer, but the wariness in her eyes and his own nagging conscience suddenly took control.

Stepping back he released her and scowled. "I heard you. I don't really know what you want me to say, though."

Giving him an odd look, like she didn't quite know what to make of what just happened, she gave a slight shake, barely perceptible except that he had that strange habit of noticing everything about her, and seemed as if to decide that she wasn't going to mention it if he wasn't. Then she shook her head at him.

"I've got siblings, too. And I get that you're just about as stubborn as they come, but how difficult about this do you really want to be?" She shrugged. "It's a simple question, really. What did I ever do to you?"

He watched her calculatingly, but inside he was scrambling. Had he seriously been considering what he'd been about to do? His heart was racing like the wind, his hands thrumming with how she'd felt under them, how it felt to touch her…and he knew if he didn't do something to cover it up, he'd only become more transparent.

"I suppose…nothing." He managed stiffly at last, and cleared his throat before continuing crisply. "My problems are none of your concern, as they stem from past events and nothing you or your friends have done."

His tone, while cool, also harboured something she couldn't quite pinpoint, perhaps distaste at whatever had caused those problems.

"However," he continued before she could speak, "if the offer of helping me with my shoulder is still on the table I would be willing to take it."

He was well aware of how begrudging his tone had been, and the brief flicker along her jaw line told him she hadn't missed it but that she would let it slide. But he well knew how those things fester, deep inside. The dark cast to her eyes said she was mulling it over, and based on her recent display of backbone, she was fed up with his snubs.

But "of course," was all she said, sliding one foot slightly behind the other and shifting into a ready position.

Backing up, he watched her. There was something her eyes; he'd almost swear it was fire trying to slip through the tight rein she had on her emotions, and he was momentarily distracted by the thought that he wanted to get at it, make that careful mask of control crack.

"You don't let yourself feel any of the negative ones, do you?" He asked out of the blue. He'd seen her smile, enjoy herself, but that reserve…it subdued everything else; she was as alike Tira as chalk and cheese.

"What?" Her brow furrowed, not following his train of thought. But she'd immediately tensed up, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop.

A spark in his eyes indicated he was about to give her a run for her money.

"If you're angry, girl, then show it." He said even as he feinted to the left and came at her from the right.

She casually sidestepped, having been waiting for his move, and gave a short laugh. "My training has told me time and again that anger makes one sloppy."

"Are they the ones who also taught you it's not alright for you to get angry?" He growled, backing off a little to reassess her, slowly circling her as he thought back on her spar with Ro to find any clues, any patterns; some tell he could use.

"No." She was eyeing him just as closely, reading her own tells, of which Glorfindel had trained him tirelessly to have few. "Simply the one to teach me how to control what I give and what is taken."

Something about her precise tone made him cold, and left him wondering what she was willing to give and what she'd let him take. But more than that, what did he want out of her?

He was…furious. Here he was, trying to draw her out, for reasons he couldn't, or didn't want to put his finger on, and she was making him mad that he couldn't get a rise out of her, which, in turn, made him even angrier that she was angering him. So effortlessly, too.

Distracted as he was by these thoughts, and hesitating besides in a reluctance to lay an angry hand upon any girl, whether she was the cause of his anger or not, he completely missed her strike.

She'd darted in, penetrated his defences; with a fistful of his tunic and a grip on his elbow, she swung her left foot behind his, then swept inward. Already knowing the inevitability of the move the crack in his guard afforded her, he managed to react enough to grab onto her own shirt to compensate with her balance, but she threw her hip into his to knock him over at the expense of keeping her own feet, his arm giving an instinctive yank on her at the same time.

They tumbled, she being pulled down with him. For a moment, all he knew was pain as his bad shoulder took the brunt of their weight, crumpling beneath him. Dark spots and stars danced in his vision, metallic tang of blood filling his mouth. The world seemed to slow, heavy breathing amplified in his ears—was it just his, or also hers? Hers…and then came the panic as he felt her weight, hyper-aware of her body, if not too keen of her movements. Her hair tickling his face, his neck, her scent all around him. Every breath was her, his heaving chest offset by hers.

As he rolled off his shoulder, she recovered and popped up, straddling him. His right arm had gone numb, but his left was still clenched in her clothes and she locked her arms around his, hands against his chest and putting all of her weight on him to pin him, unintentionally driving the breath from his already straining lungs. Driving her left foot to the ground by his hip, she swept her right knee around near his head, twisting her body; passing that leg around his head, she sat and lay back, pulling his arm with her into an effective, fight-ending arm bar.

He tried to lift his free arm as she lifted her hips, straining his trapped one, but all he managed was to twitch his fingers. "Alright!" he cried out. Immediately, she released him, sliding to her feet.

It had all taken seconds; seconds in which he'd gone from drawing her out, to a numb arm and sucking in pained breaths through clenched teeth, trying to clear his head.

Elladan lay there panting, still hyper-aware of her and wishing he wasn't. If it wasn't the pain blinding him, it was the memory of her scent, her warmth surrounding him.

"El…ladan?" Raina drew his name out slowly, uncertain. She dropped to her knees beside him, and his heart gave a jolt.

"I…" he tried to say.

"Are you okay? Do I need to…find someone? I'm sorry."

"No!" the word came out more forcefully than intended, sending a screaming fire through his pained arm and collarbone.

Her hands, hovering over him, abruptly withdrew. He bit his sore tongue to keep himself from telling her not to pull away. Blinking his eyes open, he peeked at her reluctantly, only to find her giving him a frown.

"I'll be fine, girl." He gasped out, it sounding to his ears more like a snap as he tried to sit up. Pushing himself painfully into a sitting position, he startled when she grabbed his good shoulder and somewhere just beneath his bad one to help and steady him.

His plan had backfired, big time, he thought ruefully. The fight was supposed to draw her out, not hurt him. Bringing his good hand up he carefully felt along his collarbone and shoulder, wincing a little at the fire that coursed through.

"Are you sure there is nothing I can do?" She asked, and his traitorous brain screamed hold me! love me! be mine!

"No." He gave her a rueful, if pained, smile. "I will be fine in a little bit." More like a few weeks, you nift his brain grumbled at him.

She gave him an unsure look but did not press the issue.

"I'm sorry, really. I thought your shoulder was all better."

"I thought so, too." He smiled genuinely this time. "I suppose I had that coming."

Raina sat back, giving him a long look he couldn't interpret. "Well, I guess, if you're going to be stubborn about it. He never could get you boys to rest as much as you're supposed to."

He was about to reply when his careful prodding hit a tender spot and his shoulder spasmed, drawing a gasp and grunt of pain from his lips.

She immediately grabbed his elbow in one hand and slipped her other into his, pulling it away from his shoulder. Unconsciously latching on to those slim fingers, he looked up, startled to think how close she actually was; he could smell whatever she'd put in her hair, kiss her without having to lean too far…

Another spasm, and his hand clenched around hers before he caught himself and quickly dropped it as if she'd burned him.

You big baby he chastised himself. She's got better things to do than deal with your pain.

"I'd…I'd better go see if I can't get something for this." He tried to smile.

"It's not - it's not just that you fell on it, is it?" Raina guessed. "Something happened, didn't it?"

"I just turned my arm the wrong way and stretched those healing muscles too far." He fibbed. It wasn't a complete lie, really…the muscles had been stretched too far. Then his shoulder joint had followed…but it wasn't a lie; it was selective information.

Wincing, he made his way to his feet, waving off her offer to assist him, no matter how much he wanted those arms around him. No point making her haul his deadweight around; he could take care of himself.

But no matter what he said, she wouldn't hear anything of her leaving him until the extent of the damage had been assessed, and possibly even taking care of.

"It's my fault, anyway," she insisted.

Finally, he relented, if for no other reason than he couldn't think up enough arguments to counter her and his own mind and stupid, desirous heart, and deal with the amount of pain he was in. She followed him closely, but didn't speak until they reached the apothecary.

He was rummaging through cupboards one handed, trying to keep his breathing steady so it wouldn't give away to her how much agony and fire his shoulder gave off with every spasm and every movement he made, when she spoke.

"I've pulled muscles too far before, and it hurts like the dickens, but I don't think that's really what is giving you so much pain. Plus, the limp way you're holding that arm makes me think it's a bit more serious than that."

Setting a tin down deliberately, he turned toward her and worked hard to keep his voice even through another stab of agony.

"I told you," he began, but stopped abruptly at the sad look that crossed her face.

"I know what you told me," Raina answered quietly. "But I don't think I can believe it's the truth, or at least, not the whole truth."

That struck him like a slap to the face. How did she know? I've got siblings, too rang in his ears, and he wondered at that one. There'd been a lot in those words. The girl had a lot going on in that head of hers, and it suddenly sunk in that she was probably scary perceptive, even if she didn't let on to how much she was taking in.

There was no point in lying. Capitulating, his shoulders dropped with a wince, his hand hovering over the burning one. "Alright," he admitted begrudgingly, "it's dislocated."

Her eyes widened briefly, then narrowed. "That's not something you or me could fix on our own." She admonished, frowning disapprovingly at him.

"No, it's not," Elladan reluctantly agreed, stinging at that frown. "So I guess you'll have to go get…Estel." He decided, knowing his father was occupied and counting on Ro being with Tira. Estel probably owed him for something; he was sure he could get his littlest brother to stay quiet about what had happened, not tell Ada.

And he wasn't sure how much he wanted to see Ro right now, anyway.