Disclaimer: Why do I always have to write a disclaimer? How does FFN know that I'm not Masashi Kishimoto?
Thanks to all the people who reviewed the last chapter. It seems when I said I planned it out and there are 44 chapters (plus epilogue), you guys got really excited. I know that since Naruto and Sasuke are together, it feels like this story could end any time soon. Trust me, there's still a lot of plot. There's the safety-deposit box mystery, the upcoming confrontation with Neji, and a few other major plot twists that will shake things up for the next arc (which won't be for a while).
In the first edit of the chapter, I couldn't think of a name. So I just called it Untitled. When I started editing, I decided to give it a title as well.
Chapter Twenty-Six: Ghosts of the Past
This morning, the sun shone through the window of Sasuke and Naruto's room, a beam of light landing on the scrunched up face of a certain blond. Naruto attempted to roll over to get the sun out of his eyes, but he soon realized that he wasn't able to. His eyes shot open as he realized that he was, once again, in bed with Sasuke. But this time, it was different than any of the other times the two had shared a bed.
Naruto had been resting his head on Sasuke's bare chest, his drool making the pale torso slightly wet. Also unusual was that the Uchiha was holding him. It wasn't the usual spooning embrace that he had come to know, but instead a grip that held Naruto in place, not wanting to release the body. Naruto struggled slightly, wanting to move, but not wanting to wake up the raven. He soon, realized, however, that it wasn't going to be easy.
Instead, he decided to slip out from the embrace, hoping that it would be easier to escape without waking Sasuke up from his apparently deep sleep. Naruto sucked in his gut and started to slide down, successfully escaping Sasuke's grasp. Finally, Naruto stood up beside the bed, watching the Uchiha sleep, a smile on his face. Naruto was somewhat envious – he didn't get much sleep last night. That wasn't abnormal for him anymore, but there was something different.
This time, he didn't get raped in a sewer by his father. No, this time, he was reliving the day he shot Sasuke. From the second he got out of class that day to the second he pulled the trigger. It was like he was watching from outside his body, not able to change the events. He saw himself start to go crazy, believing that his father was alive and ready to harm Ino and Sakura. He saw himself call person after person, hoping that someone would help. He saw himself collect his gun and head out to the Uchiha mansion. He saw himself climb the stairs and confront Sasuke. And then, as much as he tried to stop it, he saw himself shoot the man who would soon become his boyfriend.
He saw Kyuubi again – not his father. He saw his 'alternate personality' who had threatened to take over his mind. It was as if he relived the day exactly as it was. He stood rooted to the floor as he watched himself struggle, trying desperately to maintain the reins of his sanity (or what was left of it). Then, something really weird happened.
Naruto was standing on the water in front of a waterfall. On either side of the waterfall were colossal statues of people – one was him, and one was Sasuke. He stood next to the statue form of himself, facing his Sasuke, who stood next to the statue form of himself.
"Naruto," Sasuke said, a coldness in his voice that Sasuke had never heard from the raven. "You're pathetic."
"Sasuke?" he had asked, not believing that he was hearing those words coming from his boyfriend. He never heard Sasuke talk like that to him. Well, maybe when they first met, but not now. Not now that they were together.
"You heard him," came a voice that Naruto immediately recognized as Ino. She appeared next to Sasuke, wrapping her arms around him. "You see this, Naruto? This is a guy and a girl together. That's how it's supposed to be." Naruto tried to speak, but he couldn't get a word out before he heard another voice.
"You're a fag," came another voice from the other side of Sasuke. A shadowy figure started to become visible to Naruto, and the blond instantly recognized it as Kiba. "How can you live with yourself, being unnatural like that?"
"How can you say that?" Naruto asked. "You have a boyfriend!"
"Think again," came the voice of another shadowy figure. It soon, like the ones before it, became visible to the blond, and he was shocked to see Hinata, embracing Kiba like a long lost lover. "You had your chance to be with me, but you chose to be a sissy instead. I need a real man, and you're anything but one."
"This isn't real," Naruto said, shaking his head. "It can't be."
"I'm very disappointed," said another shadowy figure that appeared next to Ino. "When I had agreed to take you in, I didn't realize I was adopting a cocksucker. If I knew what you'd be back then, I never would have signed those papers." He watched as Inoichi materialized from the shadowy figure.
Naruto couldn't breathe. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. This couldn't be happening. They couldn't possibly hate him as much as they said they did. Not because he was gay!
"Your mother would be so disappointed," came the deep voice of another shadowy figure. "She wanted so much better for you." The figure cleared up, revealing Jiraya.
"I never thought I'd be so disappointed in my godson," Tsunade said, appearing from a shadowy figure next to Jiraya.
"That goes double from me," Jiraya commented.
Naruto watched in shock as the people closest to him shunned him. They couldn't accept him because of who he was with. Even his boyfriend couldn't accept him being gay. How fucked up was that?
"At least you had me," came a voice from right next to Naruto. Naruto jumped in shock, watching as another shadowy figure turned into Kyuubi, an evil smirk on his face. "I know just how to make an ass pirate like you satisfied," he said, the malicious grin growing wider. Naruto's eyes widened in shock, even though he knew it shouldn't surprise him.
"Please!" Naruto begged as Kyuubi approached. "Please leave me alone!"
"Take it like the faggot you are!" Ino said from across the water.
"Yeah, you wanted it so much, you might as well enjoy it!" Kiba said with a sneer.
Naruto backed away until he felt a presence behind him. He looked and saw that Sasuke seemed to teleport to him. Naruto, relieved that he was close to his boyfriend, tried to embrace the Uchiha, only to be shoved back.
"I would never let you touch me," Sasuke said. Suddenly, his shirt was gone, and Naruto clearly saw a scar from the bullet hole that he'd put into the raven. "You're just a lunatic who enjoys taking it up the ass. You'll never be worth anything."
Naruto gulped, remembering what happened next. Like in all his other dreams, he was attacked by Kyuubi, but this was different. This time, he didn't feel like a victim while it was happening. He felt like he deserved it. It was ludicrous, thinking about it now that he was awake, but those words had gotten to him. How could he possibly think that all his friends would turn on him like that?
Then, he was hit with a wave of shame as he looked down at the sleeping Uchiha. His eyes zeroed in on the scar on his chest, and he felt a pang of guilt. Sasuke was beautiful, and his flawless chest was marred by the scar. And it was all Naruto's fault for going crazy.
"You're still crazy," said a voice from behind him. Naruto turned around and saw his father once more, like he had the night before. He was wearing the same clothes, and the wound on his forehead was still bleeding. "You're seeing dead people. You didn't have to see The Sixth Sense to know that's not a good thing."
"Shut up," Naruto said. "You're not even real."
"I know," Kyuubi said with a triumphant smirk. "I'm not real. But you still see me. That's not a ringing endorsement for sanity."
"What do you want from me?" Naruto asked, refusing to believe he was talking to a dead person. "You've already scarred me for life. You need to haunt me too?" Kyuubi opened his mouth as if he was about to respond, but there was a knock on the door. Naruto sighed angrily and walked over to the door to see who it was. He opened the door and was surprised to see Neji standing there.
Naruto noticed the Hyuga visibly tense upon seeing him, and Naruto couldn't blame him. After all, he did break Neji's cousin's heart. The two stood there a few seconds, silent. Neji's eyes showed a furious anger, desperate to release its fury on the blond. But despite the inner emotion he felt, he willed himself to stay completely calm and cool.
"Oh, it's your cousin-in-law," Kyuubi said from behind Naruto.
"What are you doing here?" Naruto asked the brunet finally, ignoring the voice he heard from his father.
"I'm here for Sasuke," Neji said. "We were going to the mall with Gaara and Sakura today."
"This early?" Naruto asked, looking at his alarm clock for confirmation on the time. Unfortunately, his alarm clock didn't agree with him, as it was already 11:29. Naruto stared wide eyed at the clock before returning his attention to Neji. "Oh, um…he's still asleep."
"I figured that," Neji spat at him, his glare intensifying.
"You should really mend fences with that Hyuga kid," Kyuubi said. "I'm still holding out hope that he'll be your cousin in law one day."
"Shut up," Naruto said, not realizing that he was talking to someone that no one could see.
"Excuse me?" Neji asked, his anger intensifying. Naruto took in a sharp breath, realizing that he'd spoken to his father's apparition aloud. Trying to salvage this, he put on an angry face and glared at the Hyuga.
"You heard me," Naruto said, his pointed glare nearly rivaling Neji's. "I don't need to stand here and take your sarcasm."
"Just go wake Sasuke up," Neji said in a dangerously low tone. "You don't want to make me mad right now." Naruto, accepting the fact that he didn't want to start a fight while still in his boxers, retreated into the room and nudged Sasuke.
"Nice save," Kyuubi said to Naruto as he walked over to his boyfriend's bed.
"Wake up," Naruto said, causing the Uchiha to roll over. "Neji's here." Sasuke's eyes shot open and he sprung forward, sitting up straight in a flash and staring right at his friend.
"Oh," Sasuke said, his cheeks slightly reddening. "I guess I'll get dressed then."
"Naruto," Neji said pointedly. "Can I see you out in the hallway for a moment?" Naruto nodded, realizing that the Hyuga probably didn't want to discuss ramen recipes with him out there. He followed Neji out to the hallway, closing the door behind him to give Sasuke privacy as he dressed. "Why?" Naruto was shocked at the level of control Neji was exhibiting. Quite frankly, he expected a black eye by now. "You promised me you only had pure intentions for her, and that you wouldn't break up with her."
"I know, and I meant it," Naruto said. "I really did like Hinata, and I saw a future for the two of us. I meant every word I said to you."
"Then why?" Neji asked. Naruto looked at the salmon colored carpeting in the hallway before looking back to the teen standing in front of him, his eyes ashamed.
"I never wanted to hurt her," Naruto said. "But I found someone else who I had feelings for. And it wouldn't have been fair to anyone if I pretended to be someone I wasn't. It was better that I ended it now rather than in a few months or years of forced feelings."
"Who?" Neji asked, but Naruto just shook his head. "You broke Hinata's heart!" Neji screamed. "You tore it out from her. She loved you, and you don't even have the decency to tell me what slut you left her for!"
"Does it really matter who?" Naruto asked. "Either way, I have feelings for someone else. It doesn't matter who."
"I want to know," Neji said, his voice in that dangerously low tone again. "Tell me, or I'll just ask Sasuke. He's your roommate; he's bound to know who you spend time with."
"Just drop it, okay Neji?" Naruto pleaded. "It won't make you feel any better, nor will it help Hinata. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to see someone." Naruto walked by Neji to leave, but Neji grabbed his wrist and jerked him back.
"With who? Your new girlfriend?" he asked, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Naruto jerked his hand free from the Hyuga's grip and narrowed his eyes in response.
"Oh snap!" ghost Kyuubi said, but Naruto ignored him.
"Not that it's any of your business, but I have an appointment with my therapist," Naruto said, a smug look crossing his face. "Remember, I'm crazy. I guess it's a good thing that Hinata chose not to get involved with me, huh?"
"Yeah, you're pretty coocoo," Kyuubi agreed, angering Naruto.
"Shut up!" he exclaimed, realizing half a second later that he'd just spoken again to someone who didn't exist. Luckily, it didn't take long to come up with a cover story, which was actually sort of the truth. He turned to Neji, who had a confused look on his face. "You see, I'm so nutso that I'm seeing dead people. The entire time we've been talking, I've been talking to my dead father, too." He made sure that his voice was dripping in sarcasm, as to piss off the Hyuga.
Neji rolled his eyes. "You're not funny. I don't even know why I decided to waste my breath with you." Naruto, taking advantage of the fact that Neji gave up trying to yell at him, walked down the hallway and continued to his car. A mere half hour later, he was parking his car at Konoha Mental Hospital, ready for his appointment with Dr. Kishimoto.
"So how have you been since you last saw me?" Dr. Kishimoto asked as the session began. "Are you still having those dreams?" Naruto nodded and the therapist sighed. "Did you have that talk with Sasuke?" Naruto nodded once again, and Dr. Kishimoto gestured for him to elaborate.
"Well, I was going to have the talk as soon as I saw him, but when we got back to our room, his brother was there with Kakashi and a detective," Naruto explained. Dr. Kishimoto raised an eyebrow, and Naruto elaborated. "They'd found out that Sasuke's uncle, Madara, killed himself." Dr. Kishimoto's eyes widened, remembering his talk with Sasuke about his uncle.
"I didn't know that," Dr. Kishimoto said. "Tell Sasuke that if he ever needs to talk to come see me."
"I will," Naruto said with a nod. "Anyway, after he heard the news, he took it really badly. He disappeared for a whole day, and I didn't see him again until the next day, when Kakashi had talked to him, and they were going to hear the reading of his uncle's will." Dr. Kishimoto nodded, and Naruto continued. "It was really hard for him, and he ended up running out in the middle. I followed him, and he just started to break down."
"How did you react?" Dr. Kishimoto asked, shocking Naruto.
"What do you mean?" the blond asked, not realizing how his reaction had anything to do with anything.
"Well, it seems like Sasuke tends to take the role of 'protector', and he has comforted you many times before," Dr. Kishimoto explained. "First was the incident after the rape, then there was that incident when he found you after you were almost raped again in the alley, then there was the time at the cemetery. But it seems like this has been the first time when he's really been in that position of vulnerability with you. How did you react?"
"I told him that it was okay," Naruto said. "He was taking it really hard because he had talked to Madara the day before he killed himself and they had a huge fight." Dr. Kishimoto leaned back in his chair, a sudden change in his expression. Naruto didn't notice as it quickly reverted back to normal. "I let him cry on my shoulder for a little bit, and then we went back to our room.
"I wanted to talk about Madara, but he didn't, so he kissed me," Naruto continued. "We started to go further, but I stopped him so we could have the talk. I told him everything – about the dreams, about the session I had with you, and we decided that we'd take things slow."
"That's good," Dr. Kishimoto praised. "It's important to remain open and honest in your relationship."
"Me too," Naruto agreed. "That's why I also told him what happened…that night." Dr. Kishimoto's expression suddenly got grimmer.
"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Dr. Kishimoto asked. "You never even felt comfortable telling me that. You just left it at 'I got raped'. You told me you never wanted to think about it again, let alone talk about it."
"That's how I felt," Naruto said with a nod. "But…I can't explain it. It just felt right to tell him. He took it really hard."
"How so?" Dr. Kishimoto asked.
"He blamed himself," Naruto told him. "And in many ways, he was right. I didn't tell him that, of course. He insisted on blaming himself, though, and I told him that I was glad that I was with him, even if I had to go through all of that. He told me that he…he thought about killing himself after the paramedics brought me to the hospital."
"Really?" Dr. Kishimoto asked, this being news to him. It felt unusual to him to have two patients whose lives were so connected, but he was hoping to understand Sasuke more through Naruto. After all, the raven didn't seem to be very talkative and forthcoming about everything in his life, and he seemed to tell Naruto much more than he'd tell his therapist. Dr. Kishimoto just hoped that Sasuke would eventually schedule a follow up appointment so they could discuss what had gone on with him.
"Yeah," Naruto said. "It was Ino who got him to step down. Things got really intense and emotional, and we ended up promising never to leave each other."
"That's a big promise," Dr. Kishimoto observed.
"And I meant it," Naruto insisted. He looked down at the ground and Dr. Kishimoto quirked an eyebrow.
"Is there anything else that happened?" Dr. Kishimoto asked.
Naruto was about to respond when he saw the phantom of his dead father standing by the doorway. He shut his eyes, hoping to will it away, but it didn't go away. But when he opened his eyes, Kyuubi was still there. "Go on," his father said. "Tell him about me."
"Naruto?" Dr. Kishimoto asked, jolting the blond from his thoughts. He looked back at the doctor and then back to Kyuubi.
"If I tell you something, will you promise to not commit me?" Naruto asked, his voice weak with self consciousness and nervousness. Dr. Kishimoto furrowed his brow and answered.
"As your court-appointed psychiatrist, the only way I could commit you again would be if I thought you were a danger to yourself or others," Dr. Kishimoto explained. "Other than that, any psychiatric treatment is wholly up to you."
"I've been seeing Kyuubi," Naruto blurted out as soon as the psychiatrist finished his sentence. He hadn't meant to say it that way, but it just happened to fall out of his mouth, like word vomit. "Ever since that night a few days ago after the reading of Madara's will. It's like he's there, haunting me. And I had another dream last night, which was different than the others. It was like everyone I loved turned their back on me for being gay. And then Kyuubi raped me again."
"You've been seeing your father?" Dr. Kishimoto asked. "Does he talk to you?" Naruto nodded. "Is he here now?" Naruto looked over at the doorway where he saw his father's triumphant smirk before lowering his head, nonverbally answering the psychiatrist's questions. "Does he tell you to do anything?"
"No," Naruto said. "He just harasses me about being gay and he says a lot of smart ass shit. It's like he's just there to make me paranoid and crazy."
"I think what you need to do is to come to terms with your sexuality," Dr. Kishimoto said.
"I am!" Naruto insisted. "I know I'm g-gay." He stuttered over the word, realizing that it was the first time he'd said that out loud.
"There's a difference between knowing it and accepting it," Dr. Kishimoto explained. "There's a struggle going on within you because part of you is ashamed of being gay. The vision you see of Kyuubi is like your conscience – almost like the devil on your shoulder. You know that you're gay, but you can't accept it, which is bringing on the dreams and visions."
"I thought you said it was because I was scared of getting intimate with Sasuke," Naruto said. "Now it's something totally different?"
"Well, part of that fear of getting intimate was shame, wasn't it?" Dr. Kishimoto asked. "Isn't it?" he clarified. Naruto, realizing that Dr. Kishimoto was right to some degree, lowered his head. "I thought it was simply the fact that you didn't accept it because of the intimacy issue, but from your latest dream, I'm beginning to think otherwise. I think your problem is that you fear what society says about your relationship. Who else knows about you and Sasuke?"
"Only Kiba and Gaara because they found out by accident," Naruto replied. "And Ino too."
"Why haven't you told your father?" Dr. Kishimoto asked. "Or Tsunade and Jiraya? I think that if you would just tell your close friends and family, it'll be a lot easier for you."
"I don't want to make things public," Naruto said. "It'll get too complicated."
"And it's not complicated already?" Dr. Kishimoto asked. Even Naruto had to admit that he had a point there.
"It's just that we don't want Hinata and Neji to find out about us," Naruto explained. "We don't want to do anything to ruin Sasuke's friendship with them."
"Well, if you think it's healthy to keep it a secret from your closest friends and family, then I guess you can do that too," Dr. Kishimoto said nonchalantly.
"Well, when you say it like that…" Naruto muttered, causing Dr. Kishimoto to chuckle. "I know it probably sounds silly, but I guess I'm just not ready."
"And I think that's what's causing these nightmares and visions," Dr. Kishimoto said. "When you're ready and you let it out, you will not only feel much better, but you'll probably sleep a lot better too."
A glance towards the clock announced that it was time to stop the session. Not at all content with the results of this week's session, Naruto stood up to leave, but Dr. Kishimoto stopped him.
"I think I should bring you to see someone," Dr. Kishimoto said.
It had been weeks since Sasuke had actually hung out with his friends. There seemed to constantly be something in the way – and he took some responsibility. After all, for a month and a half, his drinking problem was that 'something'. And the last couple of weeks, Sasuke had been sort of avoiding Neji and Hinata, choosing instead to spend his time with Sakura, Gaara, and Naruto. After all, he hated lying to his friends, especially about something so important.
That's why, when Sakura suggested in biology that the five of them got together – Sasuke, Neji, Hinata, Gaara and herself – Sasuke was all for it. As much as he felt guilty about dating Naruto, he was keeping it secret to maintain his friendship with Hinata and Neji. Avoiding them to the point of ruining their friendship wouldn't really be a smart idea.
Right now, Neji, Gaara and Sasuke were waiting inside Ino and Sakura's room, waiting for the pinkette to decide which jacket best matched her shoes and belt. The blonde was facing a similar issue, as she was deciding which pocketbook matched her hair best, as she was hanging out with Shikamaru. And if that wasn't bad enough, Ino and Sakura nearly bit off Gaara's head when he suggested a bag that was "so last fall". You'd think he'd have realized by now not to interfere with Sakura when she was having a fashion 'crisis'.
"How much longer are they gonna take?" Sasuke muttered in aggravation. It really didn't take much for Sakura to put him in that mood. Sometimes he wondered why he even put up with this.
"Why don't you just wear the pink jacket?" Neji suggested, hoping to end the agonizingly long wait. But alas, it seemed these were the wrong words. Immediately, Sakura tensed up and sent him a glare.
"That's a summer color," she said. "Even you should know that," she said. She probably would have continued her rant, but she finally realized it was ten minutes after we were supposed to get going, so she returned to her search before finally finding the perfect jacket. Neither Sasuke nor Neji nor Gaara pointed out that it was the same jacket she wore every day for the past week. "I'm ready to go!" she announced. Suddenly, with her attention on the group in front of her, she furrowed her brow, realizing someone was missing. "Where's Hinata? Isn't she coming?"
"She was going to," Neji said. "But for the last few days she's been kind of sick." This caught Sasuke's attention, as well as Gaara's. Hinata almost never got sick.
"What's wrong with her?" Sasuke asked, concern evident in his voice. He had just figured they were going to go pick Hinata up after they got Sakura.
"She must have some weird stomach bug or something," Neji said with a shrug. "She's been throwing up a lot the last few days, but she hasn't had a fever."
"I hope she's okay," Ino said from across the room. Sasuke had almost forgotten that they were still in Sakura's room.
"She's actually going to the doctor today to find out what's wrong," Neji said.
This seemed to satisfy everyone in the room, and soon the four friends were riding down the highway towards the mall in Neji's convertible. Sakura insisted it wasn't too cold to open the roof, but Sasuke and Gaara put their foot down at 50 degrees. The little bit of bickering and complaining Sakura did actually contented Sasuke for once. It actually felt like old times, before all the drama and the secrets. Before he and Gaara had kept Sasuke's new relationship from the others, and even before he had to deal with Hinata dating the love of his life.
It didn't take them long to arrive at the mall, as traffic was very thin. They first went to the Gamestop, where Gaara decided to buy Kiba a Christmas present. Sasuke was shocked to realize it was already the last week in November, and he then realized that Thanksgiving was upon them. It had seemed like November had gone by so fast since Halloween happened, and he and Naruto finally got together.
This brought him to another thought – it was only a month until Christmas. He liked to get his shopping done early, as he never liked the large crowds that would come to get the newest and latest things for their loved ones. He usually didn't put too much thought into his gifts – a nice piece of jewelry for Sakura, a good book series for Neji, an erotic novel for Kakashi. Other than his close personal friends, he never really had to shop. But now, he had to get a present for Naruto. This was his first relationship, and he had no idea what to get him. It had to be something that really described his relationship with the blond.
It had to be perfect. There's no way that he could just give him a couple of packages of ramen, or even the latest Battlefield videogame. He had to get Naruto something that would make the blond choke up in happiness, something that showed all the love he shared for him. Suddenly, he wondered when he got so sappy. But in a way, it made sense: Naruto was the kind of person to take Christmas gifts very seriously. It had to be something that conveyed the right message, as he knew the blond would be looking into it.
"Earth to Sasuke!" Sakura said as she waved her hands in front of the raven's face. It took a few seconds for him to register him, but he finally realized he'd been spacing out. "We're leaving. It's time to hit Victoria's Secret."
"I thought we'd agreed on Hollister," Gaara said from the entrance of the store. In response, Neji scoffed.
"As if she'd take us here and not go to Victoria's Secret," Neji said as if Gaara' train of thought was completely ludicrous. And truthfully, knowing Sakura, Sasuke had to agree. "Thank god I don't qualify as her gay best friend."
Sasuke sighed and moved over to the other boys, Sakura following him. Finally, he stood across from Gaara, both their hands balled into fists. You see, in the many times they'd hung out at the mall, they'd developed a routine. Whenever Sakura announced it was time to hit Victoria's Secret, they'd play rock paper scissors to decide who had to go with her. The loser had to accompany her and carry the bags for her afterwards.
"One, two three," Sasuke and Gaara said in unison as their fists bounced against the open palms of their other hands. After the last word, they both switched their fingering, Sasuke having chosen rock and Gaara having chose scissors. After he cursed under his breath, Sakura took his hand and led her away.
Neji and Sasuke then decided to go to the food court to wait for them, something which they tended to do. They would have gone to another store (one geared more towards men), but they didn't want to be unfair to Gaara. He already had to put up with Sakura shopping at Victoria's Secret…wasn't that punishment enough?
"I didn't even realize it was time for Thanksgiving," Sasuke commented as he sat down, eating his Sbarro pizza. Neji sat down across from him with his Asian Chow food, taking small bites from his rice. "This month has passed by so fast."
"I forgot to invite you to the Hyuga Thanksgiving meal," Neji said, as if the thought of Thanksgiving had just occurred to him as well. "Of course, it's a standing invitation every year, but I didn't know if you'd want to be alone with Itachi this year especially."
"It's okay," Sasuke said. "I'll have dinner at my place and I'll swing by your mansion for dessert." That was how it usually went. And Gaara, who couldn't stand his siblings, made sure to keep Sasuke company during dinner before they retreated to the Hyuga's for dessert. Sakura tended to stay the entire holiday at Neji's.
"I figured I'd invite Suigetsu too," Neji said, "since he's your friend and Gaara's roommate. And I guess if I invite Gaara, I have to invite Kiba too, huh? Did I tell you what they did to my guest bedroom during that Halloween party?"
Sasuke immediately averted his gaze at the mention of Halloween, a prickle of guilt settling in. He knew he didn't have to feel guilty for being with Naruto – after all, he was the one who fell for him first. But he kept lying and keeping secrets about it, and it was reaching the point where he could barely look his friend in the eye.
"Are you okay?" Neji asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. "You've spaced out a few times today, and now you're just acting weird."
"Yeah, I'm sorry," Sasuke said. "It's just been really hard, the last week with losing Madara." Neji nodded in understanding, and Sasuke felt guilty about the lie. It was like in order to cover up his lie, he had to lie again, and he was stuck in an endless cycle of lies. And that wasn't what he wanted. All he wanted to do is stand up and shout out to the world that he was with Naruto.
It didn't take long for Gaara and Sakura to return, and, from the looks of the bags that Gaara was carrying, Sasuke bet that her father would have to have another talk with her about the charge card she used. Soon, they were all in discussions about Thanksgiving and the holidays and presents and more. Gaara said something about Suigetsu having a holiday party at his mansion – wasn't it early to be making Christmas plans like that? – but Sasuke didn't really pay attention. He kept thinking about Naruto.
Dr. Kishimoto led Naruto down the hall, making two left turns before stopping at a door. Naruto immediately recognized it, as he'd spent a lot of time in that room when he was a patient at the hospital. The walls were a blueish white that reminded Naruto a little bit about Suigetsu's hair, while the floor was light grey tile. He watched as the psychiatrist knocked twice on the steel door before opening it.
Naruto walked in the room and was surprised to find that the room was empty. He'd never known this particular person to be outside of his room. He was very introverted, and only said one word the entire time Naruto was there. In fact, until that moment, everyone at the hospital just assumed that this guy was just a mute.
"He must be in the lounge," Dr. Kishimoto said as if it was a normal occurrence. Naruto was positively shocked. Things must have changed in the months since he left.
Miki Shamishima was only about four years old when he witnessed his parents being murdered. He was constantly shuffled from foster home to foster home, but he'd never stay in one place long. Few truly knew the reason why Miki was put in KMH, but Naruto knew the truth. Miki had been about ten when he tried to kill himself.
At first, the foster family had just ignored it, telling him not to keep doing it. But he kept doing it, wishing to reunite with his parents. He would try to cut himself, or suffocate himself with a plastic bag. Finally, his foster family gave up and put him in the hospital. He was considered a huge danger to himself and others, even though he wouldn't hurt a fly.
In fact, he had seen the ghosts of his parents constantly. They were always around, encouraging him to kill himself. He was only fourteen when Naruto was admitted, but he probably had his birthday by now. It took a couple of days before Naruto saw him, but he immediately felt drawn to him for some reason. Maybe it was because Naruto watched his own father die, even though he was in a crazy, mental fog at that moment. Or maybe it was because Naruto didn't realize why someone would shut himself away from the world and not speak to anyone.
After curfew, only a few days after he had met Miki and tried to bring the younger teen out of his shell, Naruto snuck out of his room and used keys he swiped from the nurse's station to sneak into his room. Naruto started to talk to Miki, and Miki would listen. Naruto told him all about his life – about Kyuubi, Ino, Inoichi, Sasuke, Kiba, Sai, Lee, Choji – all his friends and family. He told him about Sakura and Hinata, and about how much he hated being 'crazy'. Every night, he'd return and tell Miki another story before he went back to his room to sleep.
After two weeks of this, Miki started staying up the listen to Naruto. Instead of huddling himself under his covers in a tight cocoon, he'd just lay under the blankets, his head visible, and watch Naruto as he animatedly told stories that he'd heard from Tsunade and Jiraya about his mother. He still wouldn't leave the room, but Naruto was confident that he was bringing the boy out of his shell.
Then, about a week and a half before Naruto left, something amazing happened. He snuck into Miki's room at night and found Miki sitting up, waiting for him. By now, Dr. Kishimoto had found out that Naruto had been sneaking into the room. The psychiatrist lived nearby and frequently stayed late. He caught Naruto stealing the keys to the room and had confronted him, but let him go. He realized in the weeks that Naruto had been a good influence – Miki was showing minor improvement in his sessions since the blond had been admitted.
That night, when Naruto had told Miki the story about the neko costume, he smiled, knowing he was changing the boy. Not only was he sitting up, but he would respond to Naruto with facial expressions – a shocked expression here, an eyebrow quirk there, and he smirked at one point. This minor display of emotion continued for the rest of the week, and a few days before Naruto left, he managed to get the boy to actually smile, and Naruto swore he heard a chuckle.
The day he left, Naruto said goodbye to many people. While his nights solely belonged to Miki, he had made other friends that he hung out with during the day when Miki locked himself up in his room. But when he was about to leave, he realized he'd forgotten to say goodbye to Miki. He made a beeline to Miki's room, and he found the boy sitting up, staring at the floor with a miserable expression on his face.
When he saw Naruto, his face lit up, and Naruto smiled. He said his goodbye to Miki, and was stunned into silence when Miki had said that one word – goodbye – back to him. It was the first time he'd heard the younger male's voice, and it sounded scratchy. Naruto could easily tell that it was the first time in a long while that the boy had used his voice.
Naruto was brought back to the present when he heard Dr. Kishimoto shut the door to the vacant room. Had so much really changed in the months since he'd left? The kid was only fourteen, but he'd been in the institution for years without uttering one word or leaving his room once. And now, he was outside the room, and, hopefully, speaking again? It was astounding!
"He's…not in his room?" Naruto asked, not sure if those words even made sense. He looked up at the psychiatrist's face and saw a look of affirmation, which sent a chill up Naruto's spine. Things had changed without him. He briefly wondered what else changed – was Nora still a couch hog? Was Chibiku still so gloomy? Did Yuro still screech whenever he got excited?
"You had a large impact on him, Naruto," Dr. Kishimoto said. "After you left, he started to go to the cafeteria for meals, and he started going to the lounge. And just a few weeks ago, he spoke up during a therapy session."
"What did he say?" Naruto asked. The psychiatrist smiled.
"'My throat is dry; can I have some water?'" Dr. Kishimoto recalled, his eyes shut in the memory. "After years of therapy and other treatments, nothing got him to open up until you. I've never been so glad to know that someone in the mental institution had been stealing keys and entering the room of someone who was a danger to themselves and others."
Naruto smirked at the joke. The two walked down the hall towards the adolescent lounge, and Naruto felt like he'd been hit with a wave of nostalgia when he entered. So many faces that he hadn't seen in months. It was such a powerful moment.
"Naruto!" Anooki exclaimed, sitting up in the chair where he was playing shogi. The yell attracted the attention of the other patients, who all looked in his direction.
"Naruto?" asked Nora, as if he didn't believe the blond was standing at the doorway.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," screeched a thirteen year old in the corner, Yuro, upon seeing Naruto. Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck as he waited for all the commotion to die down.
"Nora, move over and give Naruto some room," Anooki ordered, eliciting a huff from the other teenager.
"It he wants a seat, he can sit on the other sofa," Nora said as if he was a five year old and not a sixteen year old. "I don't see why I have to give up my sofa."
"You're all so annoying," Chibuku muttered. "Why can't you all just get sane again and leave me alone. Life is so awful here."
"Glad to see that not much has changed," Naruto said with a smirk as his eyes zeroed in on someone sitting on the sofa (not Nora's sofa, the other one). "Is that you, Miki?"
The green haired boy blushed slightly before greeting Naruto with a small smile. "Hello," he said, causing even more commotion in the room.
"He spoke again?" Nora exclaimed in utter shock. "Will these miracles never end?"
"Shut up, Nora," Anooki said in an annoyed tone of voice. "He won't want to talk if you keep making such a big deal about it."
"One day, you're all going to die, and I'll be able to live peacefully," Chibuku muttered.
Suddenly, Anooki turned his attention to Naruto in the doorway again. "Wait, you didn't get committed again, did you?" This caught the attention of the rest of the inhabitants.
"Please tell me you didn't shoot some poor sap," Nora said nonchalantly as he changed the channel on the TV.
"You do know you're a guy, right?" Chibuku asked the blond skeptically. "I really don't fancy having to deal with another annoying fucker right now."
Suddenly, a black haired girl in the corner looked up and saw Naruto in the doorway. "Naruto! Is that you?" She was the slow one.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," screeched Yuro once more before everyone heard a banging on the floor. It was from the senior wing downstairs, where some old person was hitting a broom on their ceiling to catch the attention of the teenagers.
"Quiet down you whippersnappers!" came the voice of an old lady. "I can barely hear all my selves think with all that racket!"
Everyone started laughing, excluding Chibiku of course, and Naruto took the opportunity to speak. "I'm not committed again," he said. 'Well, not yet,' his mind added as an afterthought. "I'm just here to see how you guys are."
"Well, Nora's still an asshole," Anooki said, sending a glare towards the other boy.
"They're all still annoying as all fuck," Chibiku said. "Either kill them all or put me out of my misery, please."
"How are you?" Miki said to Naruto, attracting the attention of the others by speaking once more. Naruto noticed that Miki's voice seemed somewhat different. It must have been the fact that he'd been talking more and more, and his voice was becoming used more and more. The scratchiness was gone from the voice, and it instead sounded velvety, like that of the purest of souls.
"I'm doing pretty good," Naruto said with a large grin, but Dr. Kishimoto put an arm on his shoulder.
"Miki, would you mind stepping into my office for a few minutes with me and Naruto?" Dr. Kishimoto asked. The green haired boy shrugged and stood up, walking towards the door. The three prepared to leave when Naruto heard a voice from behind him.
"Hey!" Anooki exclaimed. "Don't be a stranger, Naruto. You should come visit more often!"
"I will," Naruto said with a smile and a thumbs up. "I'll drop in after every appointment." Satisfied with the response, the others went back to their pre-Naruto activities while Dr. Kishimoto led Naruto and Miki to his office. After they entered, Naruto and Miki sat down on the couch, but Dr. Kishimoto remained standing up.
"Miki, I think Naruto has some things that you could help him with," Dr. Kishimoto said with a smile. "I'm going to go for my lunch break, so you two just don't break anything until I get back." With that, Dr. Kishimoto walked back out of the room, and Miki stood, taking Dr. Kishimoto's usual place in his swiveling chair.
"What's going on?" Miki asked. Although he was speaking, he still didn't seemed to be one for long, drawn out speeches.
"Where to start?" Naruto asked himself aloud. "Oh! I have a boyfriend!" Miki's eyebrows shot up. "Remember that Sasuke guy I told you about?"
"The one who came to visit you?" Miki recalled. It was very interesting that night when Naruto came in and told him about some teme who kissed him and confessed his feelings. It was all the more interesting that Naruto had shot him just a few weeks prior.
"That's the one!" Naruto exclaimed. "I had started dating Hinata after I left here, but after a while, I started to realize I had feelings for Sasuke instead. But since he's friends with Hinata and her cousin, we've decided to keep it a secret."
"Why do you need to talk to me about that?" Miki asked, slightly confused as to why Dr. Kishimoto couldn't deal with that problem. Naruto, as he'd done just a few minutes earlier at the lounge, rubbed the back of his neck.
"Well, ever since then, I've been having these dreams," Naruto said. "They're really more like nightmares. Every night, I relive what my father did to me." Miki immediately changed expressions, going from a casual expression to a more somber one. "And last night, Sasuke and I had a very…emotional talk about it. And by the end…"
Naruto trailed off, not wanting to admit what happened. He looked up and saw his father standing casually by Dr. Kishimoto's desk. Naruto gulped and closed his eyes. He now realized why Dr. Kishimoto thought speaking to Miki was going to be helpful.
"Do you still see your parents?" Naruto asked, shocking Miki.
"Your trains of thought are sometimes really random," Miki observed. "But yes, I still see them."
"Do they still tell you to…" Naruto began, trailing off in the middle.
"Kill myself?" Miki asked. "Yes."
"W-What do you do?" Naruto asked. Miki sighed and situated himself into his chair. "Ever since last night, I keep seeing Kyuubi as a ghost. And he keeps haunting me, calling me names and telling me about how disappointed he is that I'm gay. And…it's just hard. It was one thing when it happened in a dream, because then I could escape it. But now he's with me constantly. At least before I could wake up and try to forget about it."
"I used to try to do what my parents told me," Miki said. "But now, I just ignore them." Naruto sat back, kind of shocked.
"How can you ignore them if they're always there?" Naruto asked.
"Because I now see someone else there that tells me that I shouldn't kill myself," Miki said. Naruto's eyes widened in surprise – in all the years since his parents' deaths, Miki only ever saw his parents. Who could have influenced Miki that much in the last few months to change that? As if reading my mind, Miki answered: "It's you, Naruto."
Naruto was speechless. He didn't think he understood Miki at first, but he saw the slight coloration on Miki's face, and he felt a bubbling in his stomach. He actually made so much in a difference in this person's life that he was now speaking, opening himself up to the world? He was now the only thing that was keeping Miki from continuing to end his own life? Naruto couldn't describe the feeling he was experiencing.
"Be honest with him," Miki said. "You're probably scared that you're going crazy, but you need someone to tell you that you're a great person, whether you're gay, straight or bi. If you let him know, then it might not drive you to the brink of insanity. If I had you to show me that I was worth something back when I was a child, I never would have ended up in here."
Naruto was stunned, for a few reasons. He was still getting over the fact that he made such an impact on Miki, but he was even more shocked that so many words came out of the boy's mouth. He'd never heard such a string of words out of the teen in front of him.
At the same time, he was relieved. He did think he was going crazy, but what Miki said made sense. Naruto hadn't held anything back from Sasuke, and it wasn't a good idea to start now. After all, Naruto could clearly picture telling Sasuke whenever Kyuubi said something that was truly awful and then being comforted by him. At the same time, he could picture himself growing increasingly paranoid about seeing Kyuubi and keeping it inside of him, which would just lead him back to his old room. And quite frankly, he didn't want to share a room with Chibuku ever again if he could avoid it.
"Thanks," Naruto said as he stood up. "I think I will."
Author's Note: This was the first time I think I've written so much from Naruto's viewpoint. This story is overall a Sasuke-POV story with a side story usually popping up once or twice a chapter. But Naruto's been mostly neglected, especially now that most of the drama is Sasuke's.
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