House of Crows
Chapter Twenty-Five: Eye for an Eye
All your gifts come out of hell
You brought them back for love
Throw a bucket down into your well
You fill it with your blood
The bang from the bedroom woke Kakashi. His eyes snapped open instinctively, but he remained stunned. Why was he on the couch? Where was he? What had made that sound?
Oh – right. He'd given his bed up to Sakura last night and consigned himself to the couch in the next room. That wasn't too bad. He'd slept on cave floors in the past with no complaint; and by that standard this cushioned reclining sofa was the height of indulgence for a ninja.
But then he remembered his other promise to Sakura. I'll be gone before you wake up. You won't have to see me if you don't want.
That had been part of the deal of her taking the bed, that she wouldn't have to face him. She probably wouldn't have accepted otherwise, and as he heard her walking towards the partition door, he knew she might not accept again if he didn't keep to his promises. But he'd never expected her to wake this early!
Suddenly alive with adrenaline, Kakashi threw off the blanket and stood. His only escape was on the other side of the room – there was no way he could make it past the partition without Sakura seeing his shadow. Instead he retreated back, hurriedly searching for a secondary escape; a window, a screen, a cupboard, a tokonoma – a tokonoma?
Never being one to observe rules of etiquette, Kakashi thought nothing of climbing into the raised alcove and raising his hands in a quite transformation jutsu. Just in time too, as Sakura emerged from her room the very next moment.
Her eyes swept the room cautiously before she fully entered, probably trying to assess whether he was really gone. That gaze briefly swept over the tokonoma, but if she noticed that where once had been one flower arrangement now stood two, she gave no sign and her gaze moved onto the couch he'd abandoned in a hurry literally seconds ago.
Seeing that he was 'gone', she visibly relaxed and emerged completely. He expected her to leave quickly given her reluctance to be here at all, but she immediately began looking around the room as if she'd lost something. Zoning in on the couch, she got down on her knees very carefully and looked underneath it. When this seemed to turn up nothing, she sat up began running her hands along the gaps in the couch's cushions.
With a small gasp of triumph she straightened and lifted something too tiny for Kakashi to see, but probably an earring when she appeared to fix it to her ear..
And just as he thought she was now about to leave, she pressed her hands against the blanket strewn over the couch to push herself up… and once again she stopped. Shit. She must have noticed the blanket was still warm! She held it in her hands as she straightened on her feet and looked around the room a little more furtively than before. She had to know he was hiding in here. Any moment now she'd throw something at him and that little bridge of trust he'd managed to build between them would be broken once and for all.
Then, as if she'd decided she really was alone after all, she held the blanket up to her nose and inhaled deeply. If Kakashi had possessed eyebrows right then, they would have knit together in confusion. Was she really sniffing his blanket?
Even when she'd liked him she'd complained about his smell…
Taking two more deep breaths, Sakura sighed and folded the blanket into a neat square and quietly slipped out of the door to start her morning. It was almost a full minute before Kakashi felt safe enough to drop the jutsu and step down from the alcove. The folded blanket lay on the couch at a perfect angle, perhaps testament to how much domesticity had been hammered into Sakura during her stay here now that she tidied up without thinking. Kakashi picked up the blanket and pressed it to his nose.
He couldn't smell anything at all.
Three curious heads swivelled in Sakura's direction the moment she opened the door to the dormitory. She'd caught them in the process of getting dressed, and it was all too obvious to everyone present that Sakura was still dressed in her clothes from yesterday.
"Morning," she chirped a little too brightly as she scooted rapidly over to her cupboard to fetch out a clean yukata and fresh underclothes.
"You were gone all night," Aki said behind her. "Were you with Kakashi-sama?"
It was a travesty that anyone on this planet would ever attach the suffix of 'sama' to Kakashi's name. Not even the slimiest academy suck-ups bothered to call him that. Yet here was a member of his own family deferring to him in such an appalling way.
Sakura wanted to reassure her that Kakashi hadn't so much as touched her last night, but even if she got Aki to believe her it would only rouse more interest than if she simply let everyone draw the natural conclusion. A man who invited a maid into his room for the night but didn't so much as lay a finger on her? Either something funny was going on, or he was impotent.
Wait… that might not be a bad rumour to spread…
"It's ok," Sakura said to her dark-haired friend. "Kakashi-se-sama has been a perfect gentleman."
Across the room, Yui flipped her long pink hair with an incredulous sound of contempt and carried on dressing. Kaoru and Aki still continued to look worried, but Sakura reflected that, fundamentally, what she'd was true. Kakashi had been surprisingly thoughtful last night, giving up his bed to her and even fetching her eggs… which she had to admit she'd asked for more to see if he would actually do it than because she was desperately craving them. She was faintly touched that he had.
Not only was he considerate of her needs, she had to reluctantly admit she saw where he was coming from. He was in a difficult situation. Even though she couldn't see how a single member of his family was all that loveable, she knew that the way she saw them was probably unlike the way he saw them. By all accounts Sakura's father had been a pretty scary man (who Sakura suspected she took after somewhat) and often people who remembered him would get a haunted look when his name came up. Nevertheless, her mother had loved him.
It was reasonable to believe these people had a hold over Kakashi that was stronger than blackmail. They probably loved him. Sakura didn't think she would sell out her own family for the sake of her village… so how could she truly expect Kakashi to do the same?
But this was a dangerous way to think. People had died because he hadn't come forward, and even more people would lose their lives if he continued to protect enemies of Konoha. However much she understood his desire to protect those he loved… Sakura didn't share that love. The people she loved were the ones back in Konoha; the ones who would be fighting on the front lines when this war, orchestrated by that horrible clan, cam to a head.
She could understand, Kakashi, and even sympathise a little, but she could not approve of what he was doing. She couldn't allow herself to go along with his plans – not when the enemy had him by the heart. After Sasuke, Sakura could never trust someone to put their friends before their family.
There was, however, no harm in letting Kakashi believe she trusted him. Her only chance of contacting the village now was if he dropped his guard and allowed her a little breathing space. Even now she knew she was being watched. If not by him, then by his dogs.
"Sakura," Aki leant close to her. "I can always ask my uncle to-"
"Please, it's ok," Sakura whispered back. "He's not bad company. He's honestly much more preferably than certain other people."
Aki and Kaoru looked at each other, knowing exactly who 'certain other people' referred to. They weren't the only ones, as Yui chose that moment to slam her closet shut with a sudden blast of violence. "You three!" she hissed. "You're just so full of yourselves!." Then she added, glowering at Sakura, "Especially you."
Even though she was still tying her obi, she stormed out of the room. Aki was on her feet in seconds, running after her to try and soothe the girl's ruffled feathers. Sakura didn't care. Let Yui drive herself mad, and let Aki try to vainly keep the peace. It had nothing to do with her.
She and Kaoru blinked at one another for a moment before Kaoru suddenly smiled. "Can I?" she asked.
"Oh, go on," Sakura sighed indulgently.
Kaoru crept forward to pat her hand over Sakura's protruding stomach. "One for fortune! Two for luck!" she said, beaming. "Hey, have you thought of names yet?"
A hard lump rose in Sakura's throat. She tried to maintain her smile. "Names?" she said roughly. "I've not really thought about it." She hadn't yet told anyone besides Kakashi that she didn't even plan to keep the baby. Thinking up names for it was something she'd forbidden herself to do.
"They say you should give girl's pretty names, but if it's a boy, stick to something average. They'll thank you when they grow up." Kaoru tapped her chin thoughtfully. "My favourite name is Hana… or Hanako, or something like that, you know? For a girl."
"What about for a boy?" Sakura asked her.
"Pfft. Who'd want a boy? Girls are much sweeter and prettier than boys. You can dress them up in pretty things and they'll take after you… but boys probably take after their father's more, right? I guess that's not something you'd, um… want."
Sakura said nothing. Although she didn't think it mattered what gender the baby turned out to be, she was still worried that it would take after its father's side. It was almost laughable that a few years ago she'd heard, through the grapevine, that the Hokage had tried to encourage Kakashi to start a family, being that he was supposed to be the last of a line that had produced two elite jonin in succession for the village. But if Tsunade knew what Sakura knew now, she'd probably want Kakashi neutered. The world didn't need another Hatake.
Even if it was a bit late for that.
She and Kaoru dressed and made their way down to breakfast. Sakura attempted to look as mystified as everyone else when it was announced there would be no eggs, as some fiend appeared to have broken into the pantry last night to gobble the lot. Sakura settled for miso soup and drank it slowly as Kaoru chatted endlessly beside her.
The morning routine was thoroughly ingrained in her by now. After clearing away her place she went to the duty roster in the main corridor and looked up her list of tasks for the morning. There was only one – make the beds and tidy the rooms in the Nightingale wing where the Zuru family slept. That was easy enough, as it was usually only the twins who could mess up a room between one day and the next.
Sakura drifted away alone through the house, keeping an eye out for a familiar face – or mask. Kakashi had been true to his word when he'd been gone this morning, but where was he now? With Karasu? With other members of his family? Training outside by the lake? Or was he just lazing around on some porch somewhere, reading his book underneath the sun?
Probably the latter, knowing him.
Sakura tapped on the door of the master bedroom before she entered, just to make sure the inhabitants were truly gone. As usual, not much was required to tidy the room up; straighten that pillow, flap that sheet, take away those rumpled clothes for washing, brush that dust onto the floor, etc. It didn't take long, and she finished in record time (with a record number of cut corners). Sakura decided to leave the twins' room till last and moved on to the young master's room, but she hesitated before tapping on his door. If she heard so much as a rustle from inside, she would keep walking, but she knew from experience that he was often the first of the family rise and was rarely around the Nightingale wing during the day.
Hearing nothing, she pushed her way inside to assess the job. The bed needed making and folding back, but other than that, this set of rooms was hardly used and needed even less work than the master bedroom. Keen to hurry and finish, Sakura walked around the bed –
Thump.
She froze. The door to the bathroom beside her had opened and there stood Toshio, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves. A little bit of a late riser today, she thought, cursing her non-existent luck.
"Oi," he grunted. "Who said you could come in here?"
"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I was just cleaning. I'll leave you alone."
She hoped she would at least make it to the door and be halfway down the corridor before he thought to stop her, but with one word he had her stopped mid-stride. "No. Stay and finish your work," he told, walking to his wardrobe to pull on his housecoat.
Maybe this wouldn't be a complete disaster, if he continued to ignore her like this? Sakura reached to plump the pillows on the bed, not quite believing she could be that fortunate. And she was right.
"Seems at any given time the whole estate is talking about you," he said, checking his appearance in his mirror. "Your name is inescapable."
For the first time Sakura wondered how that made him feel, and one quick glance towards the mirror to meet his gaze through his reflection told her enough. It didn't make him feel good at least. In fact, his eyes burned with contempt. She quickly turned back to her task.
"Does it satisfy you?" he asked. "Mocking me like this?"
Sakura's hands paused. "I've never intended to mock you, Toshio-sama. I'm sorry if-"
"You're sorry, huh?" he snorted. "What do words like that even mean coming from common rats like you?"
Sakura was at a loss. "I don't understand what I've done."
"I doubt you have the intelligence to comprehend much," he said harshly, turning to her. "You have no idea how filthy and sordid your behaviour is. You're carrying a child with the blood of a noble family, yet you're off fucking a hired thug every night? What right have you to do that? To me?"
He blamed her so easily. Sakura clamped down sharply on her rising anger. It would do no good to lose her temper in this situation and she shouldn't waste her breath pointing out to him that, as far as he was concerned, rape never made her his property, and neither did she even have the choice to refuse the advances of said 'hired thug'.
Her life, her feelings, none of that mattered to him.
"I'm sorry, Toshio-sama," she said evenly. "I never wanted to humiliate you."
He stared at her with something resembling unease and revulsion. "There's always been something weird about you…"
Sakura had only a brief moment to wonder what that meant before he suddenly raised his fist. He was about to strike her. She could avoid it, easily, as by any shinobi standard he was hardly fast. But it wasn't worth it. Go on, hit me, she mentally sighed. Let him work out his anger the usual way and then maybe he'd leave her alone sooner.
The hand remained raised, and he continued to stare at her. The hit never came.
Belatedly she realised she'd misjudged his intention completely. He was used to girls like Kaoru who flinched and cowered at the mere sight of raised fist, to the end that the raised fist alone was all he needed for a satisfying reaction.
Sakura's calm acceptance unnerved him.
Toshio's face twisted furiously. "Lower your filthy eyes, you little slut!" he hissed, and suddenly the hand came down against her face.
The jagged edge of his ring scored a line beneath her eye. Something warm like a hot tear trickled down her cheek and dripped from her jaw onto her yukata. Sakura looked down, noting the red dot on the material. All she could feel was mild annoyance that such a small fry had managed to make her bleed.
Before she could look up, he hit her again, and again, slamming his fist against the side of her head. Her ear rung. She winced. If she stood her ground, it would only get worse. He would be satisfied by nothing but her complete prostration at his feet, and so, overacting a little, she yelped beneath the weight of his blows and pretended to fall to the floor, clinging to the edge of the bed.
"You're a freak," he muttered. "An ugly – wretched – freak! You'd do everyone a favour if you just died."
She thought that was the end of it, until suddenly his leg lashed out, kicking her in the ribs. Sakura gasped and froze. Slaps and punches to her face and shoulders was one thing. She could bear that. The infant inside her, however, couldn't. "Wait!" she cried breathlessly. "Don't kick me – the baby-"
"You don't deserve to bear any child of a noble," he spat.
Without thinking, Sakura reached into her sleeve to withdraw the tiny tourne knife she always carried with her. He was going to kick her again, but before he did that, she would stick this thing in his eye and twist until his brains came out. She felt no hesitation. No one threatened the life of a baby like this. No one threatened her baby.
"Toshio!"
Before either could attack the other they stopped dead. Sakura turned her head slightly. It sounded like… Lord Zuru.
"Toshio – get out here! You're needed in the entrance hall!"
Toshio's tongue clicked in annoyance. "I'm busy-"
"NOW!"
Lord Zuru could be awfully frightening when he wanted to be. Even Toshio seemed a little taken aback by his tone, and with one last poisonous look at Sakura, he walked around the bed and disappeared out the door.
Sakura remained kneeling next to the bed, her fingers tensed around the little knife. She'd almost killed him. A second more and he would be writhing in his death roes at her feet this very moment. She'd almost killed him for kicking her.
No. Her arms wrapped around her belly protectively. She'd nearly killed him because he'd wanted to kill the baby. And it wasn't the sudden surge of bloodlust that left her hands shaking now; it was how fiercely she'd wanted to protect something she wasn't sure she had ever liked.
The jangle of a collar beside her alerted her to the other person who had just entered the room. She glanced dazedly to her right and saw a small pug sitting there, wiggling his tail cautiously. "You ok?" he rumbled.
She nodded slowly. "Was that you? Calling just now?"
"Good impression, huh?"
"Zuru never sounds that angry."
"Well, I had to get him to leave somehow. Biting his ankles probably wouldn't work a second time." Pakkun sat down with a doggy sigh. "We should tell Kakashi."
Sakura pulled a face. "Why?" she whispered.
"He'd do something about it."
"Exactly why we can't tell him," she said heavily, forcing herself to stand. Half her face and neck stung a little bit, and that kick would probably leave a bruise, but she'd had worse in training sessions. "He hits like a girl anyway."
"Yeah, but even I sensed murder intent in you," Pakkun said. "You were about to kill him for it. I wasn't sure whether to even interfere. Anyone who tries to kill their own pup is sick in the head. Hum. Makes you kinda glad it's Kakashi's, huh?"
"Not at all," Sakura huffed, brushing down her yukata. She glanced in the mirror and wiped the worst of the blood off with the back of her hand. "I'm going back to the dorm to wash. If you tell Kakashi, you'll never get another cat-flavoured biscuit as long as you live."
"Harsh," he remarked, but didn't argue.
As she headed back through the corridors of the undercroft she was forced to grudgingly admit that she probably needed the protection of these dogs. Their constant shadowing of her every move was her biggest block to contacting Konoha, but at the same time, Pakkun really had saved her twice now. Perhaps not her life, but they'd certainly saved her from making a messy mistake. If she really had killed Toshio back there, this estate would have erupted in chaos.
Things were complicated enough, she felt, without Toshio's blood on her hands.
The encounter left her disturbed. She'd never felt such sudden willingness and determination to kill before, certainly not someone who was so much weaker than herself. And yet if faced with the same situation again, she would react the same way without hesitation. She knew she would.
Aki and Kaoru were sitting on one of the futons when Sakura arrived back at the dorm, both playing cat's cradle with a length of string. Sakura's gut instinct was to back out before they saw her. Too late. They cheerfully turned towards her to greet her… and then their smiles fell onto the floor.
"S-Sakura! Your face!" Kaoru cried.
"What happened?"
"I'm ok!" Sakura said quickly as the two girls rushed to surround her. "It's worse than it looks – I'm fine. Really."
"But what happened?" Aki demanded, whipping her handkerchief from her sleeve to dab at Sakura's blood streaked cheek. "You're bleeding, Sakura. Did you fall?" Then she seemed to hesitate. "Was it Kakashi?"
Sakura shook her head firmly. "No! I ran into Toshio, that's all. He's made his feelings pretty clear on Kakashi, though."
"If he made you bleed, that's worse than usual," Kaoru said hesitantly. "You didn't try to stand up to him, did you? That just makes it worse."
Sakura sighed miserably. "Just breathing wrong would piss that guy off," she said. "Do we have any ointment? I don't want this to scar…"
The girls hastily cleaned her cheek and stuck a plaster over the thin scratch. Kaoru fussed and complained and together she and Sakura bitched about Toshio, listing his many faults and inventing several more for him. Only Aki remained quiet as she took away Sakura's bloodstained yukata and handed her a new one.
"Do you think Kakashi will be upset because of your face?" Kaoru suddenly asked.
"I'll just tell him I slipped over in the garden, or something," Sakura shrugged as Aki glanced sharply at her. "He can't be too bothered about imperfections if he picked a pregnant girl though, huh?"
"I guess not," Kaoru said.
The dark-haired girl stood and made her way towards the door. Sakura looked at her. "Aki, where are you going?"
"I have a few jobs to do before lunch," she explained. "I won't be long.
Sakura shrugged and turned back to Kaoru. "And his penis is tiny!"
"I know!" Kaoru agreed. "It's kinda bent too…"
"When are we going back to Konoha?"
Kakashi glanced down at the dog walking beside him. "Not for a while yet. Is there a problem?"
"Not a problem as such," it muttered, tongue lolling as it trotted. "But there's a lot of wolves around here… and the heat is killing us. I miss winter. Don't they have it here?"
"Sure, it's coming. But this is about as cold as it gets, Shiba," Kakashi told him, stopping along the sandy bank of the lake. He pointed to a stick on the ground. "How's that one?"
"It'll do." The dog rooted it out of the long grasses and skipped back to offer it to Kakashi. He clasped the damp piece of rotting wood in his hand and threw it as hard as he could over the lake. Shiba barked joyfully and plunged headfirst into the water.
And when Kakashi threw things, it was a few minutes before the dog returned. "Again!" Shiba begged, dropping the stick before Kakashi's feet.
Obligingly, Kakashi picked it up again and threw it with all his might. Shiba tracked its progress carefully, even though it was a mere dot by the time it hit the water, and then once again threw himself into the lake.
Kakashi took a seat on a rock to watch, but his mind was a million miles away. It usually was on the best of days, but lately it was hard to concentrate on anything. It was probably the headaches that caused this, but then it was probably Sakura that caused the headaches. He rubbed his eyes and sighed.
Scuffing footsteps on the path behind him made him turn. He was slightly surprised to see the familiar face of Aki approaching him, but he didn't react. Maybe she was going to the doctor's house? Maybe not. Her eyes was fixed on him, and she was leaving the path to walk across the sand bank towards him.
Even at this distance he could see the tense, unsettled expression on her face. She was wary of him, which was probably understandable, but it reminded him of what Sakura had said last night about his clan. The upper house loved him because he was one of them, but the branch families were treated no better than servants.
She was right, but what could he do to change that, when Aki herself stopped and bowed before him as if he was nothing more to her than a guest. "Kakashi-sama," she began quietly. "I hope I'm not bothering you."
"I'm not busy, Aki," he said. "And don't call me –sama. I've never liked that."
She hesitated, frowning in confusion. "Alright, sir," she said, which wasn't much better.
He looked out at the lake and squinted. Shiba was just about catching up to the stick at last. "Is there something you want?"
"No, sir," she said, twisting her hands before her. "But I remember you asked me a while ago to tell you if anything happened to Sakura… or if someone did anything to her."
Kakashi turned his head to her quickly. "Something's happened to Sakura?"
"She's safe," Aki told him quickly, "but I thought you should know that Toshio has attacked her."
"Attacked her?" he repeated.
"Yes. At least twice now. Just a few minutes ago she returned to our room bleeding. Not badly, but she looked upset." Aki looked at him, blushing in embarrassment. "I thought you should know… though it's probably not important. But, maybe you can do something?"
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Do something? What is it you want me to do?"
"I-I I'm not asking you to do anything," she stuttered. "But Toshio-sama harasses many of the staff. Maybe you could talk to him or something?"
A long silence passed as he just stared at her. In that time, Shiba waded back to shore with his stick and sat down next to Kakashi to regard their visitor. "Hi, there," he said, around his mouthful of stick.
Aki, to her credit, only quailed a little bit. "Hello," she whispered back.
Shiba wagged his tail. "Would you like to play fetch with me-"
"Stop it," Kakashi snapped at the dog, whose ears abruptly sank. He looked back at Aki, and his scowl smoothed into a smile. "Talk with Toshio? Yes. I can do that. I'll have a nice little talk with him later about his behaviour, and we'll see if we can't get these little misunderstandings straightened out. Ok?"
Aki bowed with an enormous gasp of relief. "Thank you, Kakashi-sama." That was probably one habit she wouldn't drop around him. When she straightened shot a hesitant look towards the lake. "Oh… maybe you shouldn't let your dog swim in there. They say there's a monster."
Great. Folk superstitions. He watched her jog away through hooded eyes and brought a hand to his mouth to rub his lips.
"Uh oh." Shiba peered up at him. "You've got that look."
"No, I haven't."
"You're planning to kill someone," the dog pointed out. "I can feel it. Half this estate with a gram of chakra can probably feel it."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Kakashi said calmly, getting to his feet. "I'm just going to have a little chat with Toshio later."
"A chat?" Shiba said dubiously.
"A chat isn't a chat if it doesn't end in rectal bleeding." The man stretched his arms above his head. "Who's guarding Sakura today, by the way?"
"Pakkun."
"Go and take over from him, and send him to my room. I need a chat with him too."
Shiba hesitated, not sure he could do that to a fellow pack member. "Uh…"
"Do it."
"…'es, boss."
The moment Pakkun materialised in his master's room, he was forced to duck a very swift swipe for his collar. Alarmed, he skidded under the bed where even Kakashi's long arms couldn't reach him.
"Oi. I want a word with you," Kakashi ground out, on his hands and knees beside the bed. "Don't you dare hide from me."
"Shiba said you were going to rip my-"
"Get out here."
"I'd rather stay here if it's all the same to you." Pakkun settled down with his head on his paws. "I don't even know what I've done this time."
"You," Kakashi said, pointing at him, "are supposed to tell me if something happens to Sakura."
A look of sudden understanding lit Pakkun's face. "Ah," he said. "Well, um, there's a reason for that."
"Which is?"
"She told me not to tell you."
"And since when do you take orders from her instead of me?"
"It wasn't an order, it was a request," Pakkun sighed. "And can you blame her? She's been emasculated as a warrior; it's natural to be a little embarrassed by that without everyone and their dog drawing attention to it. She had the situation under control anyway… and when it got serious, I intervened. It's not a big deal."
"She was attacked before this too apparently – why didn't you tell me about that?"
"Because… you'd react like this?"
Nothing would be gained by strangling Pakkun – and he had to say it over and over to himself repeatedly to keep from reaching under the bed. Instead he attempted to take a calming breath and asked. "Is she hurt?"
"Not as such. I swear, Kakashi, she was ok. I was more worried about the boy. She'd have killed him if I'd been a little slower."
Kakashi grunted and pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. "If she was going to kill him, you should have let her."
"Like that wouldn't blow up in her face," the dog retorted, crawling into the light again. "And whatever you're thinking of doing. Don't."
Kakashi scowled. "There's no justice in this world if no one break's that brat's nose."
"There is no justice in the world or you'd have been locked up a long time ago," Pakkun said dryly. "But you can't do anything to him. From the look of things, when he's humiliated he blames the girls for it. He attacked Sakura because he thinks she's mating with you. What do you think he'll do if you fight him over it?"
"Stop?" Kakashi guessed dimly.
"That's not how minds like his work."
The dog was right. He didn't like it, but this was no time to act irrationally. There was nothing to gain from impulsively trying to punish Toshio for his crimes, because the brief pleasure it promised would be overshadowed by the repercussions. He could only sigh and hang his head as a tired, unpleasant shudder ran through his bones. "What's the point in saying I could protect her when my actions are so limited?"
Pakkun scratched himself behind the ear. "You want my opinion?"
"No."
"Turn her loose. Send her back to Konoha where she can't do any harm, and no one can do any harm to her."
Kakashi shook his head. "Then everyone will know what I've done. I'll never be able to go back."
"Yes. I keep telling you, you can't stay a pacifist in this conflict, you have to pick a side. For your own sake, you should choose your clan, because the second Sakura gets out of here you'll be a wanted man, and she's getting out of here whether you like it or not. It's just a matter of time. I have no interest in seeing you imprisoned, Kakashi."
"Things are fine as they are. I have Iwa running in circles, Karasu is too cautious to employ his contacts now, and Sakura's a convincing servant. I just need time… I just need to win her over and make her see things from my perspective-"
"Good luck. Her head's harder than Bull's."
"But if I could get her to keep her silence, I could go back to Konoha with her. We could…" He sighed. "We could even pick up where we left off…"
Pakkun gazed at him. "She doesn't want anything to do with you, Kakashi," he said softly. "Don't pin all your hopes on the chance of her having a change of heart. I like Wild Orchid as much as anyone, but you can't trust her. Females who are scorned like this… they don't forgive so easily."
"I know the situation," Kakashi said flatly. "So don't tell me my own business."
"Just making sure you know it."
"Go back to watching Sakura. But if anything happens again, you tell me."
"Uh hum."
Pakkun quickly trotted out into the corridor, leaving Kakashi alone to assemble his thoughts. He was calmer now, but still angry. If he wanted to keep his cool, it would be wise to avoid taking dinner with his family and their hosts… one glimpse of Toshio and Kakashi might just lunge across the table for his throat.
But Kakashi had to see his face. He had to see exactly how a man looked, knowing what kind of shit he was.
That evening he took a seat next to Karasu and Reika and tried hard to concentrate on staring at his placemat. Food was placed before him, but he only picked at it. His gaze kept drifting around the dining room's walls, looking for a certain pink-haired maid. The only one he saw was a pale cat-eyed girl who he could tell from one look was nothing as sweet as his Sakura. Where was she? His chakra signature told him she was somewhere below, probably in the undercroft, but was she ok? Had the run-in with Toshio upset her so much she couldn't show her face to anyone?
Naturally his gaze slid across the table to Toshio himself. The boy – because that's all he was really – was talking with one of Reika's sisters. He was making her laugh and bat her eyelashes, and for all appearances he looked like a charming, easily likeable young man.
Kakashi watched him slip between conversation with those around him. He spoke to his mother, talked to his father, snapped at his younger sisters for pulling faces at each other, and when he looked up to see Kakashi staring at him, he scowled deeply. That lovely, well-adjusted façade slipped to reveal some of the ugliness beneath. He stared back, waiting for Kakashi to look away. He didn't.
It was only when Reika's sister spoke to him again that Toshio was forced to look away.
Karasu was showing the twins how to fold paper placemats into kunai and frogs, but he pulled his attention away long enough to ask, "Has he offended you somehow?"
Kakashi ground his teeth. "He beats and rapes the staff," he said shortly, picking up his cup of sake. "Tell Reika's sister to stay the hell away from him."
"He won't dare mistreat one of our girls. He's too scared of me to even touch little Aki," Karasu said dismissively, shifting his attention back to the naughty twins who were trying to stab the paper amphibians with the paper weapons. "No, that's not how you kill something. Stab down from above, decisively!"
"It would be better if we had real kunai…"
Kakashi didn't get a chance to pressure him more on the matter of Toshio because his aunt chose that moment to lean over and whisper to him. "Kakashi, dear, you really should eat something. You don't look well."
He looked down at his plate of untouched food.
"Don't want to offend our honoured hosts, do you?" Karasu reminded over the twins' chants of 'die die die!' as they stabbed their frogs with real kunai that seemed to have materialised from nowhere. Karasu was obviously not someone who saw the innate problem in handing deadly implements to small, psychotic children.
Kakashi forced himself to eat, but the rice and meat was hard to swallow. There was nothing wrong with the food, only it was difficult to do something as normal as eating when he could feel his hand's shaking. It was one thing for Toshio to behave as if nothing had happened. It was nearly impossible for Kakashi to do the same.
Rather than stay and drink with the rest, he made his way back to his room. There he lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling with his hands folded behind his head.
Don't. The word echoed in his head. You'll only regret it. Don't.
Shiba came by and tried to coax him into another game of fetch, before drifting away dejectedly when Kakashi didn't respond. The man didn't move until exactly nine minutes past eleven when he felt Sakura's chakra outside his door. She knocked once before letting herself inside.
Kakashi was on his feet in a second, stalking to the partition door to see her.
Sakura froze at his sudden appearance, blinking at him in bemusement, and he belatedly realised he had sort of sprang out at her. But none of that mattered the second he saw the plaster – the one on her right cheek about an inch below her eye. It was flesh-toned, but the dark brown stain of blood had soaked through to the other side.
"What happened to you?" he asked tightly.
She lifted a hand to her cheek, looking thoughtful. "I tripped in the garden. Those roots are death traps."
Something snapped so hard inside him it was almost audible.
He pushed away from the doorframe and around Sakura, ignoring her confused look, until he was storming down the corridor. Pakkun appeared beside him, running to keep up. "Don't – you'll be sorry!" he warned.
"I'll never be less sorry for anything in my life!" he snarled back, dismissing the dog with a hand sign and finally ridding himself of that irritating voice of reason. He swung up three flights of stairs and swept through the corridors to the east wing where the family slept. Eleven o'clock. The little brat ought to be tucking himself up in bed right around now.
As he closed in on the room, he drew a throwing kunai from the halter around his thigh. Every step brought him closer. He could see soft lights glowing inside through the paper thin doors. Without hesitation he thrust open the door and located his prey.
The younger man was sitting at his desk, half dressed in a loose shirt and pants. He'd been in the process of writing something, but the moment he heard the thwack of the door, he'd turned sharply.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.
Kakashi lifted his arm and threw the kunai.
There was a startled yelp as Toshio pushed back from the desk so hard his chair fell over. The blade struck the wall where his head had been and wedged deep. Kakashi dragged a hand over his face. "Ahh," he sighed. "I missed."
"W-What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Toshio all but screamed from his position on the floor.
That wouldn't do. His parents were sleeping two rooms away and Kakashi didn't want anyone intruding on his lesson. He marched forward, grabbed the boy by his sleeve, and tugged so hard the garment ripped at the seams. Before Toshio could shout again, Kakashi thrust the cloth into his mouth and tied it so tightly behind the back of his head that the fabric cut into his cheeks.
"What are you doing to Toshio?" inquired a little voice behind him.
Kakashi looked back at the door where two dark heads peeped in. The twins. They'd obviously heard the scream and had emerged to check it out. No naughtiness went on in this house without being approved by these two girls. "Go to bed," he told them.
"Can't we watch?" one of them asked.
"Go to bed or I'll do to same to you," he threatened.
Neither of them moved. Kakashi sighed and got to his feet again, moving to close the door. But before it slid shut, he plainly heard one of them whisper, "Don't forget to kick him in the privates."
As he heard the two girls scamper away down the hall he turned back to his quarry – who was hurriedly trying to tug his gag loose. The moment he realised Kakashi's attention was back on him, his efforts doubled. "None of that," Kakashi drawled, reaching down to him to grab his wrists. "I won't have you screaming. Haven't you noticed that tends to spoil the fun of things?"
Toshio glared and fought him, but Kakashi was bigger and stronger. With very little effort he pushed the younger man onto his front and brought his hands together. He took the belt Toshio had removed earlier and hung on the end of his bed, using it to chain his wrists together in what he hoped was a deeply uncomfortable knot of leather. Grabbing the back of his shirt, Kakashi lifted him and slung him easily onto the bed. He paused only to pull his favourite kunai from the wall before climbing up onto the bed and straddling Toshio before he could even think of scurrying away.
"Comfortable?" Kakashi asked, noticing he clearly wasn't. "Have you ever done it this way, Toshio-kun? Bondage is my personal favourite, but I realise everyone has their own kinks. To each their own, right?"
Toshio shook his head frantically and struggled. Kakashi closed a hand around his throat, and all motion ceased. "You'll have to show me how this is done then," he said. "You're the one with experience in these matters, after all."
Something that sounded awfully like go to hell clogged in Toshio's throat. Kakashi's eyes narrowed and his hand lashed out, smacking him across the face. "That's how it goes right?" he asked when the boy's eyes rolls, probably seeing stars. "If they resist, hit them, until finally they don't want to resist anymore."
Toshio lay still, panting, seething. Kakashi tilted his head, taking a moment to savour the feel of his victim's mute anger and helplessness. Then he began tugging Toshio's loose shirt apart to expose his chest before starting on the buttons of his pants.
The struggles started again afresh, real fear now glazing Toshio's eyes. "What are you doing?" he gasped around the gag. "Stop!"
Kakashi shoved the boys pants down off his hips. "What, you don't want this? After the eyes you were giving me at dinner?" he asked.
Toshio's head tossed from side to side emphatically.
"Well… tough," Kakashi said vacantly, looking down. "Those are very nice underpants. Were you expecting company tonight, perhaps?"
The eyes were wide and glazed, but there was still a hint of rebellion there. Kakashi smiled. "Ah. You were, weren't you? It wasn't me, was it?"
More incomprehensible noises. Kakashi ignored them hooked his fingers into the waistband of the briefs. "Now let's get to the point shall we? Let's see…" With one tug he pushed them down. He paused a moment to stare. "Oh. A bit disappointing, but nevermind. I'm not sure how I'm going to get any pleasure out of that though. Is it yours, or just a fungal infection?"
He looked up at Toshio's face to see a spreading red flush of humiliation. That was more like it. Kakashi smiled lazily and reached up with the kunai to cut his gag. He wouldn't scream now. He wouldn't risk anyone coming upon them like this. Pressing the tip of the kunai under his jaw, he asked softly, "How do you feel right now?"
But Toshio could only pant and glare.
"Angry?" Kakashi supplied.
The younger man ground his teeth. "Yes, I'm angry."
"Humiliated?"
When he didn't answer, Kakashi pressed the blade a little harder. "Yes. Humiliated."
"Scared."
"I'm not scared of you-"
"You should be." Kakashi pressed to hard, causing thin ribbons of blood to bloom beneath the kunai. "You have no idea what I'm capable of or just how far I'm prepared to go to make a point. Whatever you're feeling now, take careful note of it. This helplessness you feel, and so much shame you want to cry… this is what you're doing to other people."
Despite his frantic expression, Toshio frowned. Did he not understand? Or did he just not care?
"You hurt a girl today," Kakashi told him.
Toshio's eyes flickered to the side, the sign of someone searching their memory. Kakashi growled and tightened his grip on the boy's throat so much he heard his breath begin to rasp. "You bastard! She was half your size and carrying a baby! But you've hurt so many you can't even keep track, can you?! Well that's going to change. From now on, if you touch a girl," he traced a finger over Toshio's cheek, "I touch you. If you hit a girl, I hit you." He punctuated with another hard smack across the check he'd caressed. "If you cut a girl's face, I cut yours."
Toshio yelped as the kunai snicked his cheek, in exactly the same place he'd scratched Sakura.
Kakashi squeezed his jaw, not allowing him to turn away. "And if you rape another girl," he said, looking meaningfully at his kunai. "Well… I've always been curious about sticking hard things in tender places. I could make you wish you were never born."
The whimper was music to his ears. It hadn't taken much. After three years working in the interrogation squad, Kakashi was very much holding back. If he really wanted to punish the boy there was a whole catalogue of cruel and unusual treatments to choose from. But he didn't want to go overboard. He just wanted him to have a little taste of what it felt like to be the one held against his will.
The music was interrupted by footsteps. Kakashi looked up in time to see the door slide back to reveal another late night visitor. This was probably the one Toshio had been expecting. The one he'd been chatting up at dinner.
"Midori," he greeted Reika's sister calmly, as if he wasn't holding a half-naked man to a bed with his hands around his face.
Midori looked confused only for a moment, then deeply disappointed. "Oh," she said flatly. "Sorry to interrupt. Don't be too rough with him, Kakashi." She began to shut the door again. "Night."
"Goodnight, Midori," he called, waiting until her footsteps faded before sitting up to look at his handiwork. Toshio looked a state. Blood seeped down his neck and across his cheek. His manhood was limp and lifeless. Kakashi couldn't blame him. This was probably the least arousing moment in both their lives. "I think we understand one another," he said decisively, finally climbing off him. "Remember what I said and hopefully I won't have to pay you another visit."
He wiped the bloodied edge of his kunai on the bed's coverlet before tucking it back into the halter. Looking back at the motionless, dazed boy on still lying there, he narrowed his eyes. "Oh. If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you," he said in a matter-of-fact tone, "along with anyone else you tell. This'll just be our little secret, ok?"
At this point he realised he probably didn't even have to threaten Toshio. He doubted there was anyone he would tell about this. Total humiliation was a cold, cruel thing. Kakashi almost felt sorry for him, so by the door he stopped and looked back at him. "Cheer up," he told him. "Compared to some of the things I've done to people, you got off lightly."
He shut the door and quietly walked away.
Back when his students had listened to him, or at least pretended to, he'd tried to impress upon them the black and white rule that no two wrongs made a right. Revenge simply bred more pain and vengeance until it was a circle without an end, and that was all they needed to know. But in the adult world of all its shades of greys, there were people who were too removed from human empathy to understand the consequences of their actions unless they felt them firsthand.
This was revenge, yes. It was also a warning. Toshio might not understand the difference between right and wrong, morality and immorality, but he understood an eye for an eye. As long as he believed Kakashi could and would make good on his threats, he would not harm another girl in this estate.
That had to be enough for now.
Sakura stroked a hand along the back of the pug sitting beside her on the couch. Every now and then he sighed, his wrinkled cheeks puffing and flapping unhappily. "Kakashi, you idiot…" he muttered.
She continued to stroke him gently, but the feel of his short, coarse fur was not as nice as the luxurious soft coats of her cats. Dogs didn't purr either, and she was beginning to miss Dokko rather strongly.
The door jerked open and they both jumped. Kakashi slipped inside, sparing them a brief glance before heading for the bedroom. Sakura stood swiftly. "Pakkun told me everything. What did you do to him?"
Kakashi stripped off his jacket and weapon halters to sling them in a chair beside the bed. "I pulled down his pants and laughed at his penis," he said without turning to her.
"At least be serious," she snapped.
He scowled and glanced at her again, but was unable to hold his gaze to hers for longer than a second. "He won't bother you again."
"You idiot – if you piss off Toshio, he'll take it out on someone like Kaoru!" she hissed. "If you're just trying to ingratiate yourself towards me-"
"Ingratiate? I didn't even know what I was doing until I was doing it! But he won't touch you or Kaoru," Kakashi told her shortly. "I made sure of it."
"How do you know?"
"Just trust me on this!"
Sakura fell silent. Trust? That was rich. But here was her chance… he'd reached out for trust, asked for her to have a little faith in him, and though her gut reaction told her to blow a raspberry in his face the cynical side told her to back down. Who knew? Maybe she could trust him on this. Either way, here was where she could begin to gain his trust in her.
"Alright," she said quietly. "But if anything happens to Kaoru-"
"Nothing will happen to your friend. I promise."
Giving a short, satisfied nod, she went back to sit on the couch with Pakkun and resumed stroking him. Kakashi followed her, confused. "You believe me?" he asked incredulously.
She shrugged. "I'm too tired to argue. I'll take your word for it," she told him stiffly. "Can I just go to bed, please?"
Kakashi glanced over her, eyes lingering on her stomach. "You can take my bed again," he said, and managed to make it sound almost like an order.
Sakura sighed as if she had no choice, but she couldn't pass up another night on the softest bed she'd ever slept in. "Alright," she agreed, getting to her feet again. As she passed Kakashi, he touched her elbow, and the contact made her whole arm tingle.
"What about your face?" he asked.
"Well, you obviously know I didn't trip over," she said. "Sorry I lied."
"No – I mean, do you want me to heal it for you?"
Very cautiously, she wrinkled her nose at him. "No offense, sensei, but you're no medic."
"Give me some credit," he murmured. "I know the basics, and I haven't watched you all these years with the sharingan without learning a thing or two."
Sakura hesitated, torn. It was only a minor cut, something a beginner could probably heal. And it wasn't like she wanted a scar…
"Ok," she agreed softly, and allowed herself to be escorted to sit on the bed.
Kakashi sat beside her, his knee touching hers. She was acutely aware of even the slightest contact as always, but she did nothing as he reached up to peel away the plaster from her cheek. He did it ever so carefully, as if scared of hurting her. Men were like that. In strength and speed and aggression they left women behind, but give them a hairbrush or tell them to whip a plaster off, and they suddenly became as timid as mice.
Plaster off, he looked at the cut. "It's stopped bleeding," he observed.
"I know."
He cupped his left hand to her cheek, pressing the other around the back of her head to keep her still, and in that second before he summoned his chakra, she could hardly breathe.
"Carefully," she told him, far too aware of the gentle way he held her. "Just concentrate on the edges. It's like Velcro… you have to push it together and smooth it until it gels… like sticky porridge."
"Velcro, porridge, make up your mind." His brow was furrowed in supreme concentration. For someone with extraordinarily precise chakra control, this was difficult. For someone whose control was just above average, this was one of the hardest things he'd ever been asked to do. Hopefully his mind was totally on the task. Unlike Sakura's, which was thinking more about the little finger tickling the back of her nape than his progress.
Gradually the glow of chakra blinding her right eye faded and she blinked rapidly to clear the sun spots. Kakashi's hands fell away, a little too slowly, and he smiled faintly behind his mask. "All gone."
Sakura looked towards the mirror and craned to see for herself. There was nothing. Even running her finger over her cheek revealed no dimpled line, nor any build up of rough skin that usually happened with newbie medics. She looked at Kakashi, only faintly surprised considering it was the infamous copy ninja. "Not bad," she said.
"You're a good teacher," he told her.
A bashful smile broke out on her face before she could stop it. She managed to squash it abruptly. "Thank you," she said, aiming for a cool, detached tone.
He looked at her a moment before tilting his head. "Is there anything else you need before I go?" he asked her. "Three more boiled eggs, perhaps?"
Another smile broke free. "Actually, I think I'll be alright tonight. But thank you anyway."
He nodded, echoing her smile. "Sleep tight then," he said as he rose.
"Night," she whispered, watching him as he slipped through the partition door and shut it behind him. Then she watched his silhouette cross the wall until he plainly flopped down on the couch.
Sakura realised she was still smiling.
Stop that, her inner voice lashed out in anger. Don't forget where you are and why you're still here.
Conflicted, and neither happy nor unhappy, Sakura switched off the lamp and loosened her clothes to settle down beneath the covers. Her hand automatically stroked over her stomach, exploring the significant change in her body. Day to day, she couldn't tell the difference, but only two months ago she had been completely flat. So much change over so little time.
Everything had changed… even Kakashi. Where before she'd been convinced he was irredeemable, moments of his old self made it all too easy to forget she was a prisoner here, held by his whim.
She drifted off to sleep, not thinking of babies, or rings scratching her face, but of a mild, hesitant smile she would never be able to forget.
Next Chapter: Ghosts