are you guys like extraordinarily offended that i don't do personalized feedback to your reviews? i've noticed most other authors do it, but i didn't know if it was expected and if you guys are all like... giving me the finger in your minds or something.

chapter title comes from a scouting for girls song

but anyway, onward, soldiers:

SPENCER POV

"I'm going to be sick."

"You're being dramatic."

Ashley puts her head in her hands and rocks back and forth, and I laugh.

"Seriously, Spencer, I'm going to projectile vomit. It's going to be The Exorcist worthy."

"Uh, one- that's fucking disgusting. And two- you are not. It's just my parents. It's two people. Two ordinary people... with criminal backgrounds and anger management issues."

She looks over at me and I almost die laughing at the horrified expression on her face.

"I'm kidding, Ashley. Jesus christ. Lighten up."

I, finally, turn down the street that I was raised on and almost do that annoying 'squee' sound in excitement. Not so much at being home, but being home with Ashley, who is still hyperventilating next to me, but whatever.

I reach across the seat between us and pry my fingers between her clenched ones, falling for her all over again when she looks at me and offers the single most pitiful smile I've ever seen.

"Really, Ash. My parents are really cool. And we don't have to come right out and tell mom the situation; we can wait till whenever you're okay with it, alright?"

She nods, her fingers clenching against mine almost painfully for a split second before finally relaxing.

"We need a safe word."

I bark out a laugh and quirk an eyebrow at her.

"A safe word?"

She gives me a look that has "duh" written all over it.

"Uh, yeah, so that if one us like... thinks we're caving to the Carlin Inquisition, we can just say the word loud enough for the other to hear, and run like hell."

"If running like hell is the only plan following the safe word, then we might as well just scream 'run like hell' and then proceed to... well, run like hell."

She glowers at me.

"Don't look at me like that, besides, it doesn't matter, we're here!" I throw out a bit over excitedly, throwing the car in park and grinning broadly at how fast her expression changes.

Mom and Dad are already sitting on the porch swing waiting for us, and I yell a greeting out of the passenger side window as I roll it down and Ashley offers a pretty mortified smile. As I'm opening my door and making to get out of the car, I'm jerked back in quickly and forcefully as Ashley hisses quickly and quietly, "Penelope. The safe word is is Penelope," before letting me go and nervously exiting through her own door.

I manage to throw out a whispered, "You're an idiot" before she gets it shut and she subtly gives me the finger behind her back.

Dad's already on his way down the porch steps, mom (of course) hot on his heels and I quickly make my way around the front of the car to stand next to Ashley, putting my hand on the small of her back in an attempt to comfort her. She's fidgeting her feet in the gravel of the driveway and her eyes are darting all around; it's quite cute, truthfully.

I lean in close and whisper, "If you don't stop fidgeting, they're going to think you're a cocaine addict in need of a fix," and successfully dodge the elbow she was about to drive into my gut.

Dad comes up first, face breaking out into a warm smile as he kisses my cheek and extends his hand to Ashley.

"Arthur Carlin. At your service."

Ashley grins weakly and manages to repeat her own name after her second attempt. I swear it's like I'm taking Rain Man home to meet the folks.

Dad just laughs genuinely and pulls her into a hug, whispering something in her ear that causes her to visibly relax.

"For god's sake, Arthur. You're smothering the poor girl," mom finally butts in, offering a sympathetic smile to Ashley and introducing herself.

"Paula Carlin," she shoots a look at dad before saying, "The mentally stable one."

Ashley chuckles politely and allows mom to usher her in the house while I stay back and help dad bring our bags in. He catches my eye as we make our way up the steps and smiles at me.

"She's a pretty one, kiddo."

I blush a little and smile back.

"Trust me, dad. I know."

ASHLEY POV

"So, Ashley," Paula asks me as we sit down in on the couch, waiting for Spencer and Arthur, "How do you and Spencer know one another?"

God dammit.

"Uh, same old story, you know? Strangers are friends you've never met, or however it-" she nods understandingly and stands up, heading out of the room.

"Would you like a class of wine?" she calls behind her.

ALCOHOL. YES.

"Um, yes, please," I say, taking a moment to really look around my surroundings.

It's a cozy little house, not really big, but it has that really relaxed air about it. I can't explain it, but I can tell just sitting here that Spencer had a great childhood.

There's pictures covering most of the walls, and I stand up to get a closer look at them. They range from old photos of what must be grandparents and great grandparents, on to Spencer and her family when she was little to one that must just be from a couple years ago. No use denying it, she was a cute ass little kid.

Just as I'm really getting into it, hands snake around my waist and a kiss is placed againt the back of my neck.

"If this isn't Spencer then I'm leaving."

She laughs and moves to stand next to me, careful to leave a bit of distance between us until we talk to her mom, who's walking back in now with a couple glasses of wine in her hands.

She hands mine to me and points at a picture on the wall, one of a young, gap toothed Spencer making one hell of a face.

"That was when she lost her first tooth. Glen knocked it out of her mouth and then told her she was broken and we'd be returning her to the store we bought her at."

I laugh hard and look at Spencer, who's blushing a little.

"In my defense, I was only seven."

She smacks me when I open my mouth to retort and I smirk at her, enjoying her slight embarrassment. Paula's pointing out another humilating picture of Spencer when Arthur walks in, and I can tell by Spencer's face she's relieved.

He smiles warmly and I reflexively throw him one back. It's impossible not to smile at him, even if I don't know much of anything about him.

"Enjoying yourself, Ashley?" he asks, looking on with amusement at the line of photographs Paula is still pointing out, not even aware that I'm not paying a bit of attention. Really making a great first impression, aren't I?

"She gets to see pictures of my childhood and I'm covered in some sort of bodily fluid in the majority of them. It's her version of paradise, Dad," Spencer speaks up for me, shooting a playful angry look my way.

"Seriously, Mr. Carlin, I'm getting ammunition for the next like, 30 years or so," I wink at him, and he chuckles a bit. I really like this guy, honestly.

"So I reckon you're sticking around for a bit then?," he asks, a knowing smile playing across his face and I feel a huge grin creep across my face involuntarily.

"I reckon so, sir."

Paula interrupts us then, stepping away from her monologue on the life of Spencer Carlin.

"Enough with that 'sir' and 'Mr. Carlin.' You're going to swell his head," she says to me, playfully swatting at his head as she makes her way by him to sit down on the couch. She gestures to the loveseat sitting diagonal to the couch, "Go on, sit down and tell us about yourself, Ashley."

I smile nervously at her and plop down on the loveseat, joined a few seconds later by Spencer who squeezes my hand comfortingly.

There's that inevitable awkward moment of silence before, "So where are you from, Ashley?" Arthur asks me, his warm and friendly eyes putting me at ease.

"Well, a lot of places," I chuckle nervously, "I was born in Manhattan, then we moved to L.A, then we were out on the road for a long while when my dad toured, and.. here I am. Well, I guess there I am. Cuz I don't live like... here. But... Yeah.." I trail off, mentally cursing myself.

I can see Spencer trying to contain her laughter out of the corner of my eye. It takes a lot of will power to not reach over and break her nose. I hate meeting parents.

Paula's looking at me with a bemused expression and Arthur looks a lot like Spencer- wanting to burst out laughing, but trying to save me the embarrassment. I want to go home.

"Dad, Mom," Spencer finally says, standing up and tugging me along with her, "As truly riveting as this conversation is, I'm gonna show Ashley around, kay?"

I hardly even have the chance to excuse myself from them before I'm being yanked up the stairs.

"Spencer," I hissed, trying to break my arm free and she looks over her shoulder at me awaiting my response as she continues trudging forward.

"That was rude."

She grins cheekily, "Oh, well. Besides-" she throws open the door we're now standing in front of, "I had to show you where you'd be sleeping, didn't I?"

I roll my eyes at her before stepping around her and into the room and nearly choke on my own tongue.

"Jesus, Spence, you knew there were more colors than pink out there when you decorated, right?"

She slaps my ass playfully and I hear the door click shut behind me as her arms snake around my waist and she pulls me into her.

"Kiss me," she says in my ear, nibbling the lobe gently before turning me around in her arms.

I slip my arms around her neck and make a disgusted face.

"Brush your teeth first."

"Suck my ass first."

I scrunch my nose.

"There's a lot of things I'd like to do to you, Spence, but sucking your ass isn't really on that list."

She ignores me and instead pulls me even tighter against her.

"I said kiss me, Ashley Davies."

"Apologize for all of your rude behavior this evening."

She raises an eyebrow at me.

"Dream on, honey bun."

Just then my cell starts ringing and she pulls it out of my back pocket, grinning evilly whilst checking the caller i.d. She looks at me quizically and laughs.

"What the hell kind of name is Evelyn? Are you picking up fifty year olds in bars now?" she says, still chuckling as she goes to answer it. And I feel my heart drop.

"Hello?"

Something unintelligible comes across the line and Spencer makes a face at me.

"Ashley isn't here right now, sorry," she grins and then rolls her eyes.

"No, lady, I don't know where she is but I suggest you start being a little bit nicer when you speak about her."

"Spence," I whisper, "Just hang up, seriously."

She shakes her head and sticks her tongue out at me, but I can tell she's getting pissed with whatever Evelyn is saying.

"Okay, hotshot, how about you go to hell and never call this phone again, yeah?"

I'm holding my breath at this point, having sat down on the bed just waiting for the moment it all blows up.

"What? What the hell are you talking about? What the fuck are you going to call your lawyer-"

Spencer scrunches her eyebrows.

"Look, bitch, I don't know who the hell this Trent is. Nor do I give the smallest fuck, okay? Jesus christ, get some fucking manners."

I hear the phone click shut and my stomach has dropped through the floor at this point, and I seriously feel like I'm going to vomit.

"Man alive, Ash. Who the hell was that?"

I can't answer her, my throat still constricting just dreading how much I'm going to pay for that bit of phone etiquette Spencer just demonstrated. I can feel the tears running down my cheeks before I even register the fact that I'm crying, and suddenly Spencer is on her knees in front of me.

"Ashley, baby," she whispers, pushing my hair back and holding my face in her hands, "What is it? Who was that?"

I shake my head again, sniffling loudly and trying to dry the tears before her parents come looking for us or something.

"It's nothing, Spencer. It's not."

She kisses my forehead gently.

"You wouldn't be this distraught if it was nothing," she gives me a playful look, "Evelyn isn't your mistress is she?"

I give a small laugh and shake my head, "No, Spence. Not hardly."

She smiles at me sadly and pulls me up off the bed and gently against her.

"When you're ready to tell me, you will, right?" she whispers in my ear, hands rubbing soothing circles around my back.

I nod against her chest and she pulls back from me and leans in, kissing me softer than she ever has before.

"I trust you, Ashley. And if you ever shed another tear over whatever bullshit that woman is spouting, I'll kick her ass. I promise."

I don't have the heart to tell her how very doubtful I am of her fighting skills. I smile at her and nod and she kisses me again.

"Come on, let's go fill up the entire downstairs with sexual tension, yeah?"

I nod and follow behind her, still trying to figure out how the hell I can ever tell her.

i know it's not a whole lot.

but a little is better than nothing, si? i just want to try to move this at a natural pace and not have shit going down every 2 paragraphs.

review and throw in any and all criticisms, thanks!