Ulquiorra grabbed his wallet and walked up to Grimmjow who was holding their baby—upside down might I add. "Are you sure you're gonna be fine caring for him while I go out….."

Grimmjow laughed and turned the child right side up, smiling reassuringly, "Of course! Don't worry Ulqui~, I've got everything under control!"

He bit his lip, "Okay…..but if anything happens or you need help or whatever, call me. Okay. Promise."

Grimmjow kissed him gently on the lips, "I promise Ulqui~. Now go relax and get your massage."

Ulquiorra smiled, "Okay…." And with that he rubbed the top of Aqua's head, and left.

When the stressed out mother finally left, Grimmjow set his five month old son down in his highchair, "So~, kiddo. Whadda ya wanna do?"

Aquavelva looked up at his dad and just giggled and started playing with his large hand. Grimmjow sighed, Fuck…I'm the idiot talking to a kid that can't even crawl yet….I'm calling Nnoitra. And so he picked up the phone.

"Hello!" A desperate voice answered, a pissed voice in the background

"Hey, Nnoitra…what's wrong….?" Grimmjow asked, confused. Then it dawned on his, "Pregnancy Moods."

Nnoitra sobbed into the phone, "It's fucking hell….Help me Grimmjow!"

"Well, I'm watching Aqua, you wanna come—"

"YES! I'll be there in five…" A pause and crash, then Nnoitra came back, "Make that two!" Then Grimmjow was treated with the kindness of a dial tone.

"—…Over…..yeah…." Grimmjow set the phone down and walked over to his giggly son who was blowing spit bubbles. He smiled and picked the boy up, poking his cheek lightly, "You're so cute~~."

Nnoitra burst into the kitchen and locked the door behind him, then ran up to Grimmjow. "Thank God you called!"

"I know. It's a living hell. I've been there. And it lasts up until they get the damn child out." Grimmjow informed, tickling the child's tummy.

Nnoitra groaned, "FUCK!"

Grimmjow glared at him, "Watch your language! Ulqui doesn't want this baby's first words to be profanity. So he's making me use minor ones that don't matter."

"-_- I swear to God if Tesla does that he's dead," He stated, then plopped down in one of the bar stools.

Grimmjow shrugged, "It's nice seeing Ulqui care though~."

"So, what's….ya know…..having a kid like?"

"It's hell. They cry all the time. All they do is eat, sleep, cry, poop, and giggle! They just sit there and do nothing! Their diapers are always full and smelly as shit! And they're fuckin' expensive!"

At that, Aqua started to cry, which made Grimmjow cry. "I hate Ulqui! I want a massage too! But he's the one that takes care of the child the most so he gets it!"

Nnoitra looked at the two in despair, I don't want my life to be that! He quickly reached over the counter and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, opening it and chugging. Burning the hell out of his throat and getting stone drunk.

After his mini breakdown, Grimmjow got a hold of himself and looked at Nnoitra chug the alcohol, jealousy burning inside of him, bastard…I want alcohol….. He left and grabbed a bottle of milk from the fridge, sticking it in the microwave and bouncing his son to calm him while he cooked the kid's food. After he got the bottle in Aqua's mouth the phone rang.

"Hello?" He answered, still balancing the kid perfectly in his arm.

"Grimmjow? Are you and Aqua okay? Nothing bad happened right?" Worried pricked Ulquiorra's voice.

Grimmjow sighed, "Yes Ulqui. Everything is fine. I'm feeding him and about to lay him down for a nap. Please stop worrying."

"Okay. Not too long though! Otherwise we won't get sleep."

"Yes Ulqui. Now go relax." He smiled slightly.

"Okay Grimmy….." He said nervously.

"Good-bye Ulqui." He shook his head and hung up, walking back to Nnoitra when Aqua was done with his meal. He patted the young child's back, trying to get him to burp when he saw Nnoitra on the floor, knocked out. He sighed, Looks like I'll have to call Tesla now…. He took out his cell and dialed Tesla's number, waiting as it rang.

"Yes Grimmjow?" Tesla answered tiredly from the other end.

"Tesla, your boyfriend is passed out on my floor. Come and get him please." Grimmjow sighed, Aquavelva burping soon after making his laugh. "Good job kiddo~~~!"

Tesla groaned, "The idiot. And what the hell?"

"Sorry~. Aqua finally burped~~. And thanks. The door's unlocked."

"Okay. Bye," He hung up.

Grimmjow set the cell down and set his son down in the crib, wrapping a blanket around him and gently kissing his forehead, "Sweet dreams Aqua~." Then he left downstairs to wait for Tesla.

After a few minutes the small blonde walked in. "Where is he?"

Grimmjow pointed to the ground. Tesla sighed and started to drag him off out of the house, "Thanks Grimmjow."

"No problem." He watched as they disappeared, then sat in the living room and turned on his new TV (Yes, while Ulqui was in labor, Grimmjow sold almost all his stuff).

Upstairs, Aquavelva had suddenly woke up from a nightmare and started to bawl. Grimmjow—being the idiot that ignores his child because TV is more interesting—didn't hear the poor kid at all.

The small child soon quieted, mad that no one came like usual. He noticed the bars that usually surrounded him, keeping him trapped, were missing a side. He smirked (can a baby smirk?) and crawled over and tumbled out of the crib, plopping on the floor. After holding back the tears and wails, the courageous and stupid baby started to crawl out the door and down the stairs.

When he had reached the fifth step down, his hand slipped and baby went tumbling head over heels down the other sixteen steps. When he hit the bottom he started to wail.

Grimmjow, hearing this, ran out and saw his son on the bottom of the stairs wailing. "FUCK!" He yelled and scooped Aquavelva up, rocking him back and forth to shut him up. All the while his mind kept screaming "fuck" over and over.

The phone then rang. Grimmjow picked up, semi hysterical, "Yeah!?"

"What the hell did you do Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez!" An angry voice yelled on the other end.

"U-Ulqui? W-what are you talking about?" He stuttered, shock and terrified.

"Call it mother's intuition. And I can hear him wailing. What the hell did you do to my child!?"

"Our child…..and he might've…uh…..fallen….down the…..well…the stairs…" Grimmjow whispered, ready to be killed.

The other end was silent. Grimmjow was getting freaked out, "U-ulqui….y-you—"

"YOU DAMN IDIOT!" He heard a car door slam and an engine start.

"N-now Ulqui….don't talk and drive…or drive and rage…"

"Shut the fuck up. I'm coming home and you are fucking dead! I leave you alone and trust you not to fuck up and almost kill our son and what happens, You fucking almost killed our fucking child!" By the end the angered man was practically screaming.

"I'm sorry Ulqui…." He whispered.

"I don't give a damn. If there if a single thing wrong with that kid when I get home, you will never be allowed to be alone with him again." His teeth were clenched in anger.

"Yes sir…" He hung up, and started to rock the child to calm him. Shit…I'm fucking dead…

Five minutes later Ulquiorra stormed into the house and took Aquavelva and started to thoroughly inspect him. When his inspection was over and all he discovered were bruises and cuts he glared at Grimmjow. "Never again." He then stormed upstairs to clean the cuts and lay him in bed, Grimmjow following guiltily behind.

Once Aqua was put to sleep, Ulquiorra walked into the bedroom and started gathering his candles and bath soaps that the masseuse gave him to calm his nerves and blah blah blah. Grimmjow followed him, "Ulqui….please talk to me….."

The still pissed man ignored him and went to the bathroom, locked the door, and didn't come out until ten. When he finally came out, Grimmjow was sitting on the floor outside of the bathroom, waiting like a saddened dog.

Ulquiorra sighed and sat down by his stupid husband, avoiding looking at him. "You're an idiot."

Grimmjow looked over at him, "I'm so sorry, Ulqui…."

"Just shut up and listen idiot. I was freaking out today because it was my first time away from Aqua and the first time I entrusted him to you….when I called and you picked up hysterically I almost had a heart attack because I thought you had jacked up and killed him or something," he looked up at his blue-haired idiotic husband. "Look, if we're gonna raise him we have to be more responsible. That means watching him and protecting him. Now if you can't do that I will leave. You understand me Grimmjow."

Grimmjow stared in shock down at Ulquiorra, his green eyes were electric pools of sadness and ridged sternness. He looked at the paler one and held him, whispering in his ear. "Ulquiorra, I promise that I will be better. I promise."

Ulquiorra sighed in relief and hugged him back firmly, relieved that he didn't lose him. He pulled apart after a few minutes and yawned, "Can we go to bed now?"

Grimmjow smiled softly and chuckled, "Of course. Let's go get some sleep." He stood and held out his hand, helping the smaller one up and they went off to bed.

A/N: Okay First, Thanks to Nazrita for this chapter idea! And second, If you could name a religion, what would you name it? It's strict and believes in only one God.