AN:
Okay some important admin-type stuff:
1) I loved your reviews, guys, good, bad, whatever. There were some great points raised and discussions on Bella's responsibility, Edward's reaction and Rosalie. Because there were some very pivotal things brought up, I blogged some review responses for you all to check out. You might want to do that before you start the chapter.
casket4mytears[dot]wordpress[dot]com/2010/09/26/tattoos-like-mile-markers-responding-to-reviews/
2) There are children out there - that's how they're acting - who are harassing Ashley Greene. Alice is my favourite character and Ashley my favourite cast member, so I'm obviously very much in favour of showing her the love. There's a petition on Twitter - see mine (casket4myfanfic) - but also, send some love to AshleyMGreene.
Hang in there until the end notes, and as always, SM owns Twilight, and I own the original ideas and work of the story.
Special note for FF readers: Due to their URL restrictions, you may see strange looking links in 'Tweets'. This is why I recommend reading this story in particular on Twilighted if you have the option. :p on you, FF!
Even the woods were silent as Bella leaned against an aging tree, its branches sparsely dotted with leaves that curled under their edges. Her tears fell in a steady stream, her voice husky as she completed her confession.
"I was in the hospital when Ronan told me what the tribe was saying. The way they told it, I had made Rachel jump with me, pulled her to her… I had sent her to the grave. My dad and Ronan listened to me, but it doesn't matter. I killed her." Her body buckled forward, hands holding her head. "She's gone."
She did not dare glance at Edward now, not when her grievous sin had been exposed. In her mind's eye, she saw the angry faces of Jacob and his friends, jaws taut with the suppressed desire to attack, to devour. Primal animals were all that remained of the people who were once her extended family, predators who would love to see her flesh torn from her limbs. She couldn't blame them, either; she would happily lay down, jugular exposed, if it would bring them peace, but Bella knew it to be futile. No reason would ever reach hearts so damaged; her own had sealed off completely as she watched her mother murdered on a grainy CCTV recording, her body crumpling into a heap. She couldn't bear to see Edward's beauty marred by such disdain.
She heard a shuffling behind her, feet connecting with twigs and debris, and she pressed her eyes shut tightly. Don't look, don't look; don't see the hate. His breath exhaled in a loud whoosh, a cricket chirping in surprise.
To her, it was the deafening roar of a plane overhead.
"I… I don't…."
His voice seemed lost, small. Bella drew her arms around herself, hugging her chest to protect her battered heart. In her mind, she saw those eyes, the piercing icy blue that begged for a reason as body met body of water with staggering velocity. The eyes that lived in her nightmares.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Fuck, I'm so sorry…"
Edward edged away from her and she winced, the air now thick and hard to draw into her lungs. He knows. He knows how awful I am. He finally sees. Her heart began to race, the pounding in her ears muffling the nighttime birds. Muffling Edward, the beautiful, broken man who had always seen through her frantic miming and formless whimpers, seen through her anger and snark to the Bella beneath, the one who felt like she was forever seventeen, clumsy and shy, and alone.
She had never felt so utterly alone, as she did in that moment.
"I don't… I don't understand," Edward said at last. "Bella, I don't…"
Masochism bested her and she pressed her palms to her thighs, propelling herself upright against the tree. Standing ten feet away was Edward, the man she loved, the one she needed more than any other in her life. In his beautiful face, lit softly by the moon overhead, she saw an expression that she knew far too well: disappointment. Disgust.
It was Charlie's face, that wretched day when she'd awoken in the hospital, undeservingly alive. It terrified her.
"Ed-Edward?" It was all she could manage to force past her dry lips.
He remained motionless, his eyes fixed on some horizon beyond her shuddering frame, glazed over. In the darkness around them, she could see little more than those cheekbones, the angle of his chin, and the hazy green pupils swallowed by violent white. They blinked once, twice, hard and slow. But still, he did not look her in the eye.
"How could you be so foolish? Bella, my God! You drove drunk?" Edward shook his head furiously, his right foot kicking at the soil beneath it. "And you got so high that you… endangered this girl – a friend?"
"It… It was so stupid," Bella weakly replied, her stomach turning with the bile threatening to creep up her throat.
"Damn right, it was!" Edward's sudden outburst sent Bella stumbling backwards several feet in horror. "My Bella wouldn't… How could you ever…?"
"I don't know." Her breath grew ragged, her nails digging into her palms. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck! I knew it! I knew…
Edward's expression twisted into one of intense agony, his hand pulling viciously at his messy locks. With a strange grunt he began to pace beside a looming trunk, his hands twitching uncontrollably and erratically. A part of her longed to reach out to him, to touch his arm and attempt to explain how badly she'd needed to drink back then, how much she wished she could wipe the slate clean and start anew, but she did not dare. He doesn't want your explanations and excuses, Bella. There is no excuse for you! His left fist swung violently at the trunk, knuckles cracking loudly with the force as he looked to the sky, seeking something more than the pathetic woman Bella was, now that he knew her.
"Tanya was killed by a drunk driver." The words were a dagger in Bella's heart, his choked sob the twist that rent her asunder. "I l-love you, but I can't… I just can't."
"Edward, please," Bella sobbed, lunging for his arm, her hand gripping it as if it were her only hope for survival. "What can I do?"
"I just can't," Edward repeated, his hand prying hers free as he stumbled backwards. "I'm sorry but I… Two… The pieces don't fit."
"Tell me what to do!" Bella begged, blinded by her relentless tears. She threw herself into his path of retreat, her hands pressed together as if in prayer. "I'll do anything-"
"There's nothing you can do!" Bella startled as Edward's hands clutched her shoulders, his fingers rough, bruising her beneath her flimsy cotton t-shirt. "I need to go right now. I need to go. I'm sorry."
He pushed past her, his body colliding with hers in a sad echo of their first day together, when she'd slammed past him at the pub, Ronan in hot pursuit. Her shoulder burned with the understanding that life was a cycle, that every beginning reached its conclusion somewhere down the line. Her knees buckled and she fell to the earth, her fingers sinking into grass and mud, her chest heaving.
"Please don't go," she called out desperately into the night, Edward's body fading fast into the ether. "I can't do this without your love!"
Her right hand pressed against her stomach, the thick bar of her piercing poking through her shirt, the metal warm to the touch. Her stomach dry-heaved as she watched her love, her existence, make her worst fears come true in a glimmer of skin and a fiery swatch of hair drifting out of focus. Her left hand swiped futilely at her tears as she curled into a ball upon the ground, the icy shock all she could feel beyond the emptiness within her.
"Edward…"
How many times had she tried to explain this to Ronan, to her stupid therapist? How could she fault Edward now as he walked away, when she was the worst kind of selfish being? How could anyone love a murderer, a reckless bitch who held the fragile lives of others in her grasp only to squeeze, to crush them, scattering the ashes?
Her fingers dug into the moist earth, burrowing holes. Tiny little ostrich heads buried in the sand, afraid to see. She clutched her stomach, knees drawn against her arm, and closed her eyes, willing the truth away. But it remained, in sharp relief against the kaleidoscopic whirls of faces, dates and places that defined her as the failure she knew herself to be:
Edward was gone. And he wasn't coming back.
The persistent vibration of her Blackberry made Alice groan, her hand absently pawing Jasper's nightstand in the hope of silencing the dreadful little beast. Jasper murmured and turned as she pulled against his arm, nearly rolling to the ground in a tangle of sheets as her fingers wrapped around her holster, the leather cool against her flushed skin. Her eyelids, moments before droopy with the blissful afterglow of lovemaking in several rooms and positions, snapped open violently as she made contact with the device, her heart skipping several beats.
Something's wrong. Bella.
Struggling to a seated position, Alice tugged the lavender phone free, throwing her holster to the ground in her frustration. Two missed calls from Edward, and three text messages. Fuck! Opening her SMS folder, she gasped, her hands shuddering.
"What. The. Fuck?"
Jasper groaned, rolling towards Alice's nude body, his brown furrowing as he registered her furiously typing out a response on the keypad. "Alice? What's wrong?" he asked sleepily.
"My brother is a goddamn idiot and an asshole!" With a grimace, she pressed her speed dial for her brother, unwinding the sheets from her legs as she attempted to stand up. "Answer me, Edward! Or so help me-"
"Hey, whoa!" Jasper exclaimed, now alert. "What's going on? Edward isn't…"
"Voicemail? Are you KIDDING me?" Alice shrieked, kicking Jasper's nightstand and immediately regretting it, cursing her stinging toes. "No, Edward isn't going for attempt two, Jazz. But Bella might – Edward? EDWARD CULLEN, YOU LEFT HER IN THE FOREST? As her best female friend, and yours, I'm going to kick your ass! Call me, immediately! You owe me that much!"
Jasper pulled on a pair of boxer briefs discarded near the bed, shaking his head in confusion, "Wait, what? Bella's in a forest? And Edward left her?"
Alice nodded, her body taut with anger. "Fuck! Hers is going straight to voicemail. Yes, my stupid asshole of a brother apparently had a conversation that, quote, 'I couldn't handle because of my own shit', and has asked me to kindly head to the woods and make sure Bella's okay. Can I take your car, baby?"
Jasper nodded, reaching out to embrace her, "We'll both go, Alice. Fuck, Edward's whole world is Bella; what the hell could have made him leave her, let alone in a bad way?"
"Short of her telling him she killed our mom by creating cancer, I can think of nothing remotely understandable," Alice growled. "And I plan to impart that to him with a kick to his balls. But we have to find Bella first, and fast."
Throwing her phone onto the bed, Alice quickly began dressing, grateful she'd worn a babydoll dress for its 'pull on and go' factor. Running her hand absently through her short locks, tousling them more out of nervous habit than any care for appearance, she grabbed her purse from Jasper's doorknob and tossed her phone inside. Reliable as always, Jasper was also ready to go, his rumpled t-shirt and jeans matching his messy blonde waves. He led the charge out into the hallway and downstairs, forcing his feet into loosely laced sneakers while Alice slipped into her sandals and then stepping out into the crisp September air.
The red Grand Prix was unlocked, Jasper's laziness and trust in their small town a relief as Alice threw herself into the passenger seat. Her purse made a dull thump on the floor board as Jasper slid in beside her, quickly starting the engine. Adjusting his mirrors in his compulsive way, he turned to Alice, shrugging.
"Where do we start?"
Alice tapped her foot rapidly, weighing out a strategy. "Her place. Edward didn't specify, and if he'd meant the meadow by us, he would have said that. I'm guessing it has to be somewhere obvious, and that would be my next guess."
Jasper nodded, reversing out of the drive, "Chief's place still the same house on the east side?"
"Yeah, Charlie Swan's still right where we dodged him in high school." Alice reached into her purse, fumbling for her Blackberry. "I'm going to try her again. Maybe she was on the line with Edward before?"
"Calling him Doucheward, I hope," Jasper grumbled. "Alice, I love your brother, but he's a supreme dick right now."
"You'll get no arguments from me," Alice agreed, scrolling through her recent calls and redialing Bella. "Shit! Voicemail again. I'll leave a message for her, I guess… Hey, Bella, it's me. Edward just told me what a jerk he was, so I'm going to call you until I make sure you're okay. Whatever you do, sweetie, just… Hang on, okay? Love you lots."
"Should we call Carlisle?" Jasper asked nervously, signaling onto the main thoroughfare of Forks. "I mean, I don't want to excuse him, and I'm mad as hell, but what if she did say something that set off a bad train of thought?"
"I…" Alice paused, weighing the pros and cons quickly. "Not yet. Not until we find Bella. Maybe she can explain his cryptic text to me, and then we'll know… Arrgh! Jazz, he was so upset that she wouldn't talk to him about this thing with her ex in La Push. I worked out all the details in less than 24 hours for him to have an evening alone with her! What the hell happened?"
Jasper sighed, "Fucked if I know. What did Edward already figure out?"
"Not much," Alice conceded. "Something shitty happened just over a year ago and now half of La Push seems to have a nasty axe to grind with her, and it involves her ex. They even sent her a dreamcatcher, which sounds nice, except that it has some tie to the big bad, so it was more of a special little birthday torture stunt."
Jasper exhaled loudly, "What the hell is wrong with people? Jesus! That's such bullshit."
"Agreed, baby. I don't care how pissed you are; you don't torment a depressed girl. That's just sadistic."
"Aly, where's the turn?"
Alice looked up, waving her hand to the right, "Next right, fifth house down. I wish she'd answer her phone. I have a really bad feeling…"
"Bad like Edward?" When Alice nodded, Jasper reached for her hand, his fingers interlacing with her own. "We'll find her. You found him." His left hand steering the car into the police chief's driveway, Jasper reflexively tensed. "But you talk to the Chief. Makes me freaking nervous."
Alice leaned over, kissing his cheek quickly. "I love you, Jasper Whitlock."
"I love you, Alice Cullen. Let's do this."
They walked briskly up the gravel driveway to the wooden porch, painted years ago and now peeling, the raw pine beneath exposed. A crumbling façade, mused Alice, Just like Edward. Her hand reached out tentatively, hovering briefly before knocking loudly, three sharp raps. She tugged at her hair, twisting the tiny locks about her index finger as she and Jasper listened for signs of life. The cruiser outside suggested Charlie Swan was home, but it was hard to say. Impatiently, Alice pounded on the door, five loud bangs before Jasper seized her wrist, gesturing to the window above them.
A light was now on.
"Come on…" Alice whispered.
There was a strange creaking noise, a scuffing, and then the door opened. Charlie Swan stood in an old flannel shirt and sweat pants, his hair rumpled and his eyes weary. They had definitely woken him up, but Alice knew when it came to Bella, he wouldn't mind. Bella had said some mixed things about her father – vague comments she refused to flesh out upon prodding – but Alice sensed that Charlie was simply inept at demonstrating his affections. With a frown, Charlie stepped onto the porch, staring at Alice.
"Bella's not here," he grumbled.
"I know," Alice said softly. "She's… I'm not sure where she is. I need your help."
Charlie's eyes widened, the vein in his forehead now visible as his eyes darted between them. "What do you mean? She's supposed to be with Edward – your brother. Where is he?"
Alice stared at her feet, "I don't know that, either. But he and Bella had some sort of disagreement, and he asked me to look after her." Edward, you better appreciate this. "All he said was that she was in the forest near here. Is there somewhere Bella would go?"
Charlie visibly blanched, "She's alone in the woods? There's bears in the woods. Wild animals." He stepped back into the foyer, fumbling in the side table drawer and withdrawing a flashlight. "I know a path, just down the road. Lots of kids go there. I think it's where Bella used to drink."
With that declaration, Charlie Swan pushed past them, rushing down the driveway and veering left, crossing diagonally with little regard for any possible oncoming traffic. Alice let Jasper pull her along, her tiny legs struggling to keep pace walking until she gave up and began to lightly jog. The beam of light danced along the thick treeline ahead, revealing a small parting of brush and a narrow worn pathway delving further into the woods. Jasper tapped her arm as they fell in line behind Charlie, pointing to fresh tire tracks in the soft soil. Edward. We have the right place, at least. Charlie was muttering incoherently ahead of them, likely cursing her brother – and rightfully so. Alice resisted the urge to send several colourful texts to him, knowing that it wouldn't do Bella any good. At least he told me to come find her, Alice sighed, her hand bracing against a branch threatening to take her eye out.
"Why would she go this far in?" Charlie grumbled. "She hates this place."
"Maybe she wanted to be alone?" Jasper suggested.
"She has a goddamn bedroom for that!" Charlie snapped. "And if she's gotten lost, your brother is in incredibly deep shit – and that'll be Ronan, before I give him a piece of my-"
"Charlie!" Alice interrupted, pushing ahead of him. "Help!"
It was her hair that had caught her eye – the faintest shimmer of auburn in the farthest reaches of the flashlight – but it was the ragged, shaky breathing that confirmed for Alice who lay upon the earth beneath a looming tree, curled into a ball with her face pressed to her knees. Alice knew the sound painfully well: it was the sound she'd made when her mother died, stifling her sobs in her pillow to avoid her family coming to check on her. The thumping of feet behind her grew louder, catching up quickly as Alice fell to the earth, brushing the hair from Bella's swollen, tearstained face.
"Bella, sweetie, it's Alice," she whispered.
Bella shuddered beneath her touch, her head tucking further into her knees. Alice scarcely detected a mumbled, "Go away," before Charlie stepped in, instinctively reaching for her wrists. The suicide check. Been there, Alice thought sadly.
"Bells? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
Bella sobbed loudly, shaking her head violently. "He's gone. He's gone…"
"Bella, did you take anything?" Charlie's voice was gruff, but pained, as he scooped her up slowly, cradling her against his chest.
"No…."
Her voice was so weak. Alice stifled a sob of her own as Charlie held her tightly, kissing the top of her head. Where Bella had lain moments before, her cell phone remained in the dirt, the indicator light blinking notice of Alice's calls. Tossing it into her purse, Alice and Jasper followed Charlie mutely as he carried his daughter back to the road, Jasper's arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders. Bella was broken; whatever had transpired here tonight was serious, perhaps – and this made Alice ache even more – a permanent separation. What does she mean, he's gone? Edward didn't say they broke up! Reflecting upon what little she knew, and how delicate Bella's mental state had been lately, Alice realized that even if Edward had said he needed time, or some other bullshit movie of the week line, Bella would take it as total and utter rejection.
Bella did not speak as they made their way back to the Swan home, Jasper jogging ahead of them to hold open the door for Charlie. A grunt of thanks was Charlie's only acknowledgement of their presence, his mind fixed solely on his daughter's welfare. Alice followed them up the stairs, helpless and frustrated, but unable to leave. I have to look after her. I have to know why he did this to her. Charlie kicked at Bella's bedroom door, stumbling slightly as he lowered her onto her bed. She immediately coiled herself into a ball, face buried in the pillows, as Charlie tugged off her muddy sneakers.
"Is she okay?" Alice asked pensively. "Physically, I mean?"
Charlie reached for Bella's wrist, eyeing the clock on her nightstand. "Pulse is a little weak, but she's cold. Bells?" Charlie's hand reached for Bella's chin, forcing her to face him. "Bells, do we need the hospital?"
"Uh-uh."
"Isabella Marie, be honest," Charlie insisted.
"No," Bella whispered. "He's gone."
"Where did he go? I have a shotgun with his damn name on it-"
"NO!" Bella wailed, her fists tugging on her father's sleeves. "NO! IT'S MY FAULT!" At this, she collapsed into noisy sobbing, her foot kicking against the mattress like a child.
"Bella? Bella, talk to me," Alice pleaded, to no avail.
"I should take her to the hospital in case," Charlie grumbled.
"No need," Jasper said firmly. "Why don't we go call Carlisle, Chief Swan? Alice can get Bella changed maybe into warmer clothes?" Jasper stared at her pointedly, and she silently thanked him. He's giving us time alone, for me to try and reach her.
"I wouldn't want to trouble the doctor at home," Charlie protested weakly.
Alice smiled weakly, "My dad's just finishing his shift. He loves Bella; he'd come anyway for her."
"Alright, then. We'll be back, Alice." Charlie squeezed her shoulder gently as he left, a dramatic gesture of emotion for someone as stoic as Bella's father. "Thanks."
Alice settled onto the bed gently beside Bella, her hand reaching out to grasp hers, humming softly as she waited for Jasper and Charlie to reach the bottom of the stairs. Her ears satisfied that they were afforded a brief privacy, Alice whispered softly as she leaned over her friend's shuddering frame.
"Bella, what happened?" At her furious shaking of her head, Alice continued, "Bella, I'm your friend right now, not his sister. He said he was going to try and talk about the stuff with Jacob."
At this, Bella turned in surprise, her eyes wide with fear, "H-he t-t-told y-you?"
"Only that they were being complete shitheads to you. He didn't know why, but he was really worried about you." Alice brushed the tangled strands of hair from Bella's face, forcing a smile, "Sweetie, we need to get you changed into something cozy. Can you stand up?"
Bella shook her head, "I'm so tired…"
"I'll help, okay?"
Alice rose slowly, crossing to the antique dresser adjacent to Bella's desk. Rummaging through the drawers, Alice found a pair of green flannel pajama pants and a white tank top mixed in with a wild assortment of bras and underwear. Returning to Bella with the clothing, she placed it on the bed, extending her hands to her.
"C'mon, sit up."
Bella slowly reached out to Alice, who gently pulled her into a sitting position. Without bothering to ask for her input, Alice reached for the hem of Bella's damp tee, tugging it over her head and tossing it to the floor. Bella flushed with embarrassment as she was left in her bra, her skin pimpled with gooseflesh. Alice hummed an old song by The Cardigans she knew Bella liked as she slid the tank top over Bella's head, gently helping her arms into the sleeves and pulling it down. Bella remained silent, save sniffling loudly as her tears fell in rivulets, as Alice pulled a Ramones hoodie from a pile beside the bed and helped Bella into that next.
"Lie down," Alice gently ordered Bella.
"S'okay; just leave me-"
"I won't do that," Alice insisted. "You need to get warm, Bella, or I will make my dad put you in the hospital. You can't stand, and I can't hold you up because I'm the size of a twelve year-old, so lie back, please?"
Defeated, her pupils wide at the word 'hospital', Bella allowed Alice to switch her pants from jeans to the flannel, raising her hips just enough to allow the exchange. Alice could see that it upset Bella to need anyone, but what she didn't recognize was that Alice needed her. And if dressing her would help, then that was what Alice had to do.
"I knew he'd go," Bella mumbled sadly as Alice gathered the dirty laundry and lumped it into a hamper in the closet. "I knew…"
"Bella, my brother is an asshole," Alice rebutted. "Although he did tell me to come find you, so he knew you'd be… well, this."
"H-he… P-pity, I g-guess," Bella sighed.
Alice stretched out alongside Bella, smoothing her hair as she struggled to comfort her friend – her sister, really. "He knows he's being a dick. That's why he told me; I always look after his mistakes for him."
Bella closed her eyes, her hands fidgeting with the pillows, "I t-told him… and he didn't understand." Her breath caught as she stifled a gasping sob, pausing to collect her thoughts. "They all hate me, too. Even Dad."
"Bella, what happened in La Push?" Alice asked.
"NO, no, no, can't! You'll leave me!" Bella wailed, clinging suddenly to Alice as she pressed her head against Alice's chest. "I can't lose everyone!"
Alice held Bella tightly, "God, Bella, no! Never! I promise you that on Jasper's life, okay?"
"No," Bella whimpered.
"Okay sweetie, you don't have to tell me, okay?" Bella nodded furiously, her tears hot against Alice's skin. "Do you want me to stay here tonight?"
"N-n-no, y-you don't h-have to-"
"I want to. We'll listen to music all night." Alice looked up as Charlie and Jasper entered the room, Jasper nodding to indicate that Carlisle was en route. "Do you need some water or anything?"
Bella shook her head, "No... No."
"Well, I'm a little thirsty. Jasper will stay right here while your dad and I go get some stuff. Is that okay?" As Bella lifted her head, nodding and swiping at her tears, Alice smiled. "Jazz, can you help her pick out some music on the laptop? Bella and I are having a girls' night tonight."
"Absolutely," Jasper answered, reaching down to kiss Bella's forehead. "Whatever you need, darlin'."
Alice nodded to Charlie, leading the way out of Bella's room as Jasper cued up what sounded like the soundtrack to the Buffy musical episode on Bella's laptop. Bella won't tell me, but Charlie has to. I can't understand what would make Edward run like this! Their footsteps echoed through the otherwise quiet house as they descended, Alice struggling with how precisely to approach what was obviously a painful event.
"Your father said he would be by in twenty minutes. Said he'll bring something that will get her to sleep," Charlie said, his tone all business.
Alice sighed, leaning against the wall of the kitchen, "Chief Swan, I know that this is probably the last thing you want to do right now, but… My brother wouldn't just leave her like that. Not unless it was something big." Taking a deep breath, Alice opted for the 'blurt it out quickly' approach, "What happened in La Push with Jacob?"
Charlie grimaced, blinking hard, "What?"
"You heard me," Alice said emphatically. "Whatever it was, she told Edward tonight, and he left her. All he would say to me was that it set off something in his own past. If that thing is something that could push him over…"
Charlie sighed, thrusting his hands into the pockets of his sweats, "Yeah… Yeah. Bella won't like it."
"You can lie and say I dragged it out of Ronan, but Charlie, I need to know. We need to put together what happened with these two people we love so much." Alice blinked away a tear forming in her right eye, steeling herself for Bella's sake. "Please?"
Charlie nodded. "Bella didn't take her mom's death very well, after she moved here. She had nightmares, crying fits – normal grieving, at first. But then she just… I tried, you know? But then she seemed to be talking to Jake and Ronan, so I stepped back and let her have room, I guess." Charlie shook his head. "Stupid. She started drinking – a lot of drinking. I didn't even notice…"
Alice winced, the gears shifting in her mind. Oh, shit. No. Bella didn't…
"Anyway, on Renee's birthday, the second after she passed… I guess Bella got very drunk, and drove out to see Jacob. He left her there with his little sister, Rachel, and came to get his dad from my place. He mentioned that she was in bad shape, and I realized why. When we got back to the reservation, though, they were long gone. Rachel texted Jacob about them walking the beach, so we followed them out." Charlie swallowed hard, "There was a bad thunderstorm brewing. It began to rain harder as we searched. There's a lot of gossip and whatever, but as Bella tells it, she decided to cliff dive on a whim. She was on some drug… she said she'd taken it to feel something different from sadness. Rachel told her not to… They struggled a bit."
"Oh, God…"
"It was an accident, Alice," Charlie stated firmly. "Bella was stupid, and she dragged along a young girl who looked up to her, but she told Rachel to go home. She was foolish, and made a mistake. And she paid for that, by us burying one of her closest friends."
"She was drunk and on drugs?" Alice asked quietly.
"Yeah," Charlie sighed. "Look; the Quileutes have every right to be upset, and Bella might be guilty of bad choices. But we're all guilty, for not seeing how bad it was… They think she made Rachel jump, you know."
"That explains the attack on the beach," Alice mused.
"The what?" Charlie's face flushed. "Did someone hurt my daughter?"
Alice grimaced, "I don't know the details. Ronan and Edward put an end to it. But Charlie, she was drinking, and someone died."
"Yes."
Alice sighed, "Tanya. It set him off about Tanya."
"Who's Tanya?" Charlie asked gruffly.
"Edward's first girlfriend. They probably would have married, down the road, but there was an accident, a few years ago-"
"Tanya Denali?" Charlie asked. "I remember. The other driver was this spoiled brat home from college. He was… Shit."
"Drunk. He was driving drunk, and struck her car. She died that night." Alice glanced up the stairs, where Bella waited for her. "Charlie, Edward doesn't even drink a drop of booze if he has to drive. He won't let anyone else do it, either, not after Tanya…"
They stood together, each lost in their own thoughts, reconciling the information the other had provided. Edward wouldn't have been able to look past Tanya and see Bella was in pain, Alice reasoned. That jerk who hit Tan was just a partier and stupid. It was different. Although Alice knew that Bella had screwed up, she also could see how she suffered for it now. She needs a friend, not a judge and jury.
"Will he… Will he talk to her?" Charlie asked.
Alice sighed, "Edward is stubborn as hell, but I'm more stubborn by miles. And even if I understand what made him bolt, don't for a minute believe my asshole brother is off the hook for this." Alice stared at Charlie, "He'll be praying for your shotgun instead, when I'm done with him."
I may be tiny, but I'm a tiger, Chief. Edward has definitely woken the proverbial sleeping giant with this blunder, Alice thought angrily. But tonight, it's about Bella. Tomorrow, however, is another day…
*ducks and runs for cover* Trust me, guys. Trust me. Trust Alice, too.
And before you review, I'd like it known that I spent time chatting with three other people about this chapter and what was to happen, and unanimously, it was agreed that I couldn't change Edward's reaction because it wouldn't be true to the character established. I have to, as a writer, stay honest, even if I, like Alice, am unamused with one Doucheward.
*winces* Click review and let Edward have it! If you could say something to him right now, as Alice, what would YOU say?
Follow me on Twitter: casket4myfanfic or follow Doucheward and Bella's account: ForkedUp