Disclaimer: Not mine…
A/N: Okay…I don't know how much more I can apologize, I know many people are tired of this repetitive crap, and as I said, that is MY BAD as an author. I meant to write in "R" earlier and forgot. I promise, after this chapter, totally moving forward into new territory. Hope you all stay with me. I think the ending will please you (unless you have something against citrusy fruits...)
Thank you for reading, all of your reviews, and your PMs. I'm glad to have had others to discuss "Remember Me" with. Thank you all for letting me get it out.
A round of applause for eternally_addicted again! She helped beta this chapter for me and pick out the places in St. Louis. Seriously, if you aren't reading her stories, get on it people!
And I've updated my website with more pictures. Do check it out. :- )
Songs for this chapter: It Is What It Is –Lifehouse, Leave Out All the Rest –Linkin Park, To Be With You –David Archuleta
Chapter 25
BPOV
June 14th
Someone.
It wasn't something Edward wanted to talk to me about…it was someone. My mind was going a mile a minute and so many theories and images were flashing through my mind, I couldn't get a clear picture. Someone from his past…did he have an ex-wife? Was there some girl he got pregnant somewhere? Was Edward a father?! I was trying desperately to calm my breathing, telling myself that I just had to hear Edward out. He squeezed my hand tightly and that grounded me, bringing me back to the present.
"Bella…"
When I looked up at Edward, his eyes were clenched closed and he was shaking his head back and forth.
"Edward, please just tell me…" I whimpered.
"Bella…I…I know I told you that all that girls in the past…I only slept with them once and that was it. That wasn't completely true."
My heart was pounding in my ears.
"There…there was a girl in Chicago…I uh…I call her 'R'. She and I met in the hotel lobby, literally ran into each other. I was looking for someone to hook up with, and she was looking for someone too. She recognized me and knew I was Edward Cullen, but she didn't care. I'm not too sure what it is she does, but she has money. We had sex and normally I would've just kicked her out, but then she told me the reason she was looking for someone. She said it was the anniversary of her fiancé's death, and she didn't want to be alone. It…it made me think of Tanya and…and I felt like someone understood. She knew I lived in Seattle, but she asked to see me again if I was in Chicago. I told her to call me when I was back in the city. So the next time I came back, she did…and we hooked up again. We kept this up for four years, every time I was in Chicago. Sometimes I would say 'no', and for a while there she had a boyfriend, so she said 'no'. The last time I saw her was last season. She called when I was in Chicago working with Elizabeth, but obviously I didn't answer. She hasn't tried to call me again since."
My mind was reeling…I withdrew my hand from Edward's and scooted back on the bed.
"Bella…"
I held up my hand and stopped Edward from talking and coming any closer. My brain was trying to wrap around everything. Four years…four years Edward saw some girl in Chicago on a semi-regular basis…a girl who made him feel like someone understood what he was feeling…
"Bella, please say something."
"Was she your girlfriend?" I hissed, feeling hurt by what he was saying, and feeling completely inadequate compared to whoever the hell this "R" character was. Not only did she make him feel like someone understood, but apparently she made his body feel good too.
"No! Bella it wasn't like that!" Edward shouted, "She knew we had no attachments, no feelings involved!"
"So you guys just fucked? How can you say there was no feelings involved! You just told me she understood you! That you shared your past with her!"
"Bella, I didn't say that!"
"Four years!" I shouted, "Four years Edward! And the last time you saw her was what? Less than a year ago? And she called you in January! And you didn't even tell me!"
I stood from the bed and went towards the dresser where my purse was. I was seething…January?! Edward and I were already focusing on each other, we had already kissed! And he had this woman on the side still. Edward was behind me in a second and his hands were on my hips, turning me around to face him.
"Bella, I wanted to tell you-"
"Then why didn't you!" I shouted, pushing my hands against his chest, "Why didn't you tell me?!
I shoved my wallet and phone into my pockets, determined to go hide out in the room I had with Rosalie. I couldn't think with Edward standing near me.
"Bella please…don't go! She meant nothing to me-"
"Well, she must've meant something!" I snapped, "She understands how you were feeling and you have no problem fucking her…clearly that's farther than you and I have ever gotten!"
When I finally registered my words and saw Edward visibly stagger backwards a step, the red haze of anger I seemed to be lost in receded. His face looked like I had slapped him, but before I had any time to say anything, the door of the room flew open and Emmett came barreling in, followed by Rosalie.
"What's going on?" Emmett boomed, "We heard shouting."
"Bella!" Rosalie rushed quickly to my side, wrapping an arm around me, "What happened?"
Emmett stood frozen in the middle and I watched as he slapped his hand over his face and dragged his palm across it. Edward was still frozen, his hurt eyes locked on my face, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him right now.
"Oh my Jesus…" Emmett groaned, "Edward told you about Chicago."
"What about Chicago?" Rosalie said, stepping back to look at me, and letting go of my shoulders.
I shook my head, "I…I can't be here right now…"
I turned and ran for the door. I knew it wasn't the best thing to do, but I couldn't wrap my head around everything Edward told me while he sat beside me and waited for an answer. I couldn't think with Emmett and Rosalie here either. I could hear all three of them calling my name as I ran out of the room and towards the stairwell. The room Rosalie and I had gotten was on the third floor…room 319. I fumbled with the key when I got to the door, but quickly shoved it in the slot and threw the door open, before slamming it shut. I dropped my wallet and phone as I threw myself on the un-slept on bed. I buried my head under the pillows. I didn't know what to think right now. All I knew was that my heart was throbbing because the distance between Edward and I was too far…but too close.
EPOV
"BELLA!" I shouted as I watched her run out the door. I staggered backwards as the door slammed. The back of the knees hit the bed and I collapsed, my entire body feeling numb.
"Rosie baby, you talk to Edward. I'm gonna go after Bella," Emmett said as he walked quickly towards the door.
"Emmett, wait-" I started, but he cut me off.
"Edward, stay here and talk to Rosalie. Tell her about Chicago," Emmett said sternly, his eyes softened as they turned to Rosalie, "Baby…will you tell him…"
"Yeah," Rosalie said softly.
"Edward, I'm about to save your ass. You tell Rosie first."
And with that, Emmett disappeared through the door of our hotel room. He said he was about to save my ass…but I couldn't help but lose hope. How the hell was Emmett going to help? Bella's words stabbed me in the heart. She didn't understand…
"Okay…" Rosalie said, clapping her hands and sitting on the bed next to me, "What is this story that has Bella thinking you're a grade A douchebag?"
I didn't even react to Rosalie calling me a douchebag…it's what I was. It was a mild name for what I was right now. I knew I should have told Bella about "R" before…but I was just scared of what she would think. Her reaction told me I was right. She ran out on me again.
"It's a long story Rosalie," I sighed, not really wanting to get into it again.
"I think we have time. Bella and Emmett are definitely going to take a while."
"Fine…"
Rosalie remained silent as I retold the story that I had just told Bella. I had heard from Emmett that she had a wicked backhand and I had seen first hand that she liked to slap him upside the head. I was waiting for the hits to come the further I got in the story. When I finished and glanced at Rosalie, she was staring with a blank look on her face. Her gaze was focused on the wall.
"Why didn't you tell Bella before?" Rosalie said softly.
"I…I was scared…I didn't know what she would think…"
"You idiot!" Rosalie said, finally turning to physical violence and punching my shoulder. I winced, and rubbed the spot, but I didn't say anything.
She let out a loud huff, "There are two reasons I am calling you an idiot. Number one, you actually told Bella that you felt this 'R' character is someone who understands how you're feeling AND you had sex with her on a sort of regular basis? EDWARD! By waiting this long to tell Bella and after you guys have progressed in your relationship, it makes her feel inadequate! Like you're holding back with her even though you love her! That you trust some random fuck more than you trust her! With your heart and your body!"
I opened my mouth to say something but Rosalie held her hand up and silenced me.
"And this 'R' person was still contacting you five months ago? Jesus Edward! Bella is probably paranoid too!"
Rosalie shook her head, "And number two Edward, how is this all even remotely fair to 'R'? How do you know that there were no feelings on her side? Is it even over Edward? Did you give her some closure? Does she know that you're with Bella now?"
I shook my head.
"Jesus Edward! What is this doing to her?"
"I thought this was about me and Bella," I growled, not wanting 'R' to have anything to do with this.
"Fuck Edward! You need to give that girl closure so that you and Bella can have closure! Who knows what that girl is thinking! She could still be hanging on, waiting for your next trip to Chicago!"
"Why is this so important to you Rosalie?"
"Because I'm trying to make you a better person," Rosalie snapped, "I'm trying to make you not so much of a douche."
"What…I…"
"Look, I'm concerned for you and Bella, but I'm concerned for this 'R' girl too."
"Why?" I huffed.
"Because I know how she feels…"
"What?" My head snapped to look at Rosalie.
"Emmett and I…we weren't always the happy couple that you know us as. We almost broke up after the first two months we were together."
"Why?" I asked softly.
"Because I used to be the girl some guy used to call just for a fuck when he was in town."
I didn't mean to stare, but I couldn't stop staring at Rosalie as she looked down at the floor and a tear leaked down her cheek. I didn't know her well, and I didn't see her often, but Rosalie was a tenacious woman…like the strongest I had ever seen, and here she was, baring a big secret to me and tears falling down her cheeks.
"Rosalie…" I started, but she stopped me, holding her hand up and shaking her head. She hastily swiped at her eyes.
"I was a fool Edward. I was young and I was fool. His name was Royce King, he was six years older than me and I met him when I was 18, working as a waitress in a hotel bar. He was a business man from New York; really successful, well dressed, good looking…he looked like the kind of man any girl would want. He told me I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, that he wanted to see me every night he was in town…he took me to fancy dinners, took me around Seattle, even bought me jewelry…and I fell for everything."
I swallowed heavily, not liking where this was all going.
"We had sex after the second date because I fell for all of his lines. He was in Seattle for 5 more days, and all he seemed to want to do after that was have sex. He kept up with the lines, and when it came time for him to leave, he said he wanted to see me again, that he was always in Seattle for work, and that he cared for me. So like a fool I believed him. We kept this up for two years. I had even thought about moving to New York to be closer to him, but he told me he didn't want me to give up my scholarship here, and be far away from my family in Portland. Royce was a prominent business man, on the cusp of breaking it big in the digital book market. One day, I was on the internet and the headline read that the King family legacy had ended, that Royce and his father had been killed in an accident. I didn't bother to read further. I scrapped together what I had and bought a ticket to New York. I was distraught. I thought I loved Royce and that he loved me. I wasn't able to fly out until the day before the funeral, so I arrived barely in time. I knew what Royce's mother looked like and he had told me that she loved me and wanted to meet me when I was finished with school. He wanted me to move out there with him."
Rosalie chuckled, then took a deep breath.
"I went up to Mrs. King and introduced myself as Rosalie Hale, Royce's girlfriend. She just looked at me like I was the dirtiest thing she had ever seen. I didn't understand, until I heard someone say, 'move', and Mrs. King moved to the side to reveal a very pregnant brunette."
My stomach felt queasy, and my actions from the past were eating at me with every word.
"The pregnant woman was Royce's wife, Alicia. After Royce had died, they were looking at his assets and spending. All of the jewelry being bought in Seattle, and the expensive dinners…they knew Royce had someone on the side. Alicia slapped me and called me a whore in the middle of the church in front of everyone. She screamed at me, wanting to know what kind of person took advantage of a married man. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't fight back and I couldn't say a word. The man I thought I loved was married and had a whole life aside from me. It made me feel like a whore."
I was just shocked. Rosalie was the victim in all of this, and I was suddenly looking at things in a whole new light.
"When I told Emmett, he was furious. He didn't even let me get to the part about Royce getting killed in a car accident and making me feel like a whore. He was furious that I just fucked some guy whenever he was in town. 'What kind of relationship is that?' is what he screamed at me. 'How can you call that love?' He was married Edward. And I know that your situation is different from mine and Royce's, but just think about it. Had I known that he was married, I never would've gotten involved. I wouldn't do that to another woman…but I didn't know, and when I found out, I was devastated. Think about how this 'R' person is lingering over you and Bella's relationship. You haven't ended things with her…you haven't given her any closure. For all you know, she thinks there's still a chance or that you still want her around even though you're with Bella."
"Rosalie, you know I would never-"
"I know Edward," She said, cutting me off, "but I've had a lot of time to think about my situation…about being the other woman and how that affected his wife! I just…I can't watch something like that happen again. Is 'R' a good person Edward? Outside of all of this, does she deserve to be dragged along with no closure?"
I shook my head, "No…she…she doesn't deserve it."
It was true. While we never had any feelings involved, she never proved to be anything but a good person…someone who was mourning a loss like I was. She deserved to be let go from any sort of commitment she might have felt towards me. Bella and I deserved to have everything behind us, and not let something that I had foolishly kept from her come between us. I sighed.
"How did you and Emmett get through it?"
Rosalie sighed, "He didn't speak to me for two weeks. I was so certain that we were done, that he wasn't coming back. Then one day he was there on my doorstep. He wanted to hear more of my side about what happened. When he let me tell the rest, he apologized, said he was sorry he reacted so quickly. We talked about everything, why I did it, why he got so angry. Turns out he got angry because he realized right away that I was the one getting used…that he had seen guys like that take advantage of his sisters."
I said nothing, not finding anything remotely helpful to my situation with Bella. She knew I used women for sex, she knew that I felt horrible for it…but keeping 'R' from her…I wasn't sure that was easily forgivable.
"What should I do Rosalie?" I whispered.
"Well for starters, you can pray to God she forgives you for this. Edward…you have to trust Bella! You can't keep things from her because you're scared you're going to upset her! And lord, I know the physical thing is a big thing between you two…but Edward, the fact that you can trust women you don't even know to share your body with, and not the girl you love…imagine how that makes Bella feel."
She shook her head, "I know you're tired of hearing this, but you two just need to talk. Get past all of this shit. Emmett and I did…Sam and Emily had their fair share of crap…pretty much every couple in the country has gone through something like this! Look, you two love each other…you can work it out."
"But she ran…" I said softly, seeing her running out the door in my mind.
"Emmett will talk to her; help her see things a little clearer. She might not be ready to talk to you right away, but she will talk to you. She loves you, and I know she won't give up. Let her come to you, because she will, and you two can talk then."
I nodded.
"In the meantime, you better figure out what you're going to say to this 'R' character. End it with her Edward…but don't hurt her you know?"
I nodded again.
My phone rang shrilly through the silence in the room, and I dove across the bed for it, the ring tone telling me it was Bella.
"Bella?" I barely breathed out.
"Hi…" her voice was soft.
"Baby, I'm so sorry…"
"I know."
"Bella, please, I-"
"Edward, I love you…but I need to get my feelings more in order. I…I need to figure out how I feel about all of this before we talk so I don't say anything that I regret."
"Okay…" I swallowed heavily, "Are you…are you going to head back to Seattle?"
"I don't know," she whispered, "I'll be at the game tonight though."
"Bella…baby, I'm so sorry."
"We'll talk about it soon Edward…I…I think you should think about stuff too. Gather what you want to say."
All I wanted to do was grovel at her feet and tell her I was sorry.
"I love you Bella," I whispered, my heart throbbing at the knowledge that I didn't know when I was going to hold her in my arms again.
"I love you too Edward. Good luck tonight."
With that she hung up. Rosalie rubbed my shoulder, and I jumped, forgetting that she was there.
"Edward, this will be a good thing okay? Get your thoughts and feelings together so that after this talk, that's it. This is the last time things will have to be this serious and this emotional. Get everything behind the two of you so you can really just move forward."
I nodded and sighed. I hoped Rosalie was right.
June 16th
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was thankful that it wasn't possible for me to drown myself as I let the shower beat down on my back. Bella had been at the last three games…but she only smiled and waved…we didn't talk. She stayed with Rosalie in their room and Emmett stayed with me. I was thankful that she didn't go back to Seattle, but I wasn't sure if it hurt more that she was here but didn't talk to me.
Both the team and Rosalie and Bella were scheduled to fly back tomorrow morning to Seattle. I sighed. Two days apart…how did Rosalie and Emmett survive two weeks? Turning off the shower, I stepped out and toweled off, wrapping the towel around my waist and walking back into the bedroom.
"Looks like crap…yes I know…well? Get cracking!"
Emmett was pacing back and forth near his bed, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. He told me that he and Bella talked for a while. Told her that she and I had to talk about this, that we couldn't just let it linger. It was actually Emmett's idea that Bella and I take the time to get our thoughts organized so we wouldn't say anything to each other that we would regret. I walked past Emmett and heard him cough heavily before continuing.
"Yes!" He shouted, then paused, "Now is perfect."
He hung up and grinned at me, "So that was Frankie. Get dressed; we're going out to dinner. She pulled some favors, working on the paper and all, and got the Old Spaghetti Factory to open up late for the team, so let's go. I want me some food!"
"I think I'll pass," I sighed, not wanting to be surrounded by the guys right now. That probably meant Rosalie was staying at the hotel with Bella.
"Dude…you gotta eat."
"Go ahead of me…if I feel like it, I'll catch a taxi."
"Bullshit! You and I both know you're not going to come!"
"I just don't feel like being around the guys," I snapped.
Emmett sighed heavily, "Fine…but you're going to be hungry."
And with that Emmett left the room. I shook my head and pulled on my boxers and a t-shirt. Without even being able to talk to Bella was making me not want to do anything. I was able to play because she was at the games and watching, but not being able to talk to her after or before…it made me not want to do anything. I debated ordering room service, but I didn't even have the energy to pick up the phone to call. I sat on the edge of the bed and placed my head into my hands. I felt like I was just in darkness, floating endlessly, unsure of where the light had gone.
I hadn't even heard the door open and I jumped when I saw the tiny pair of Converse sneakers come into my vision.
"Bella!" I shouted, completely surprised.
My head snapped up and there she was, dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans. She had circles under her eyes and I could tell that she had been crying. I never thought she looked more beautiful. My memories didn't do her justice. My heart started hammering in my chest at the sight of her…I had missed just her presence in my life so much. Her tiny hand reached out slowly, as if she was scared that I might run. When her fingers brushed my cheek, it was then that I realized a tear had escaped from my eye.
"You're here…" I whispered.
"I'm here," Bella said back softly, "I'll be here for as long as you want me to be."
"Always," I said, reaching forward and wrapping my arms around her waist. I pressed my face against Bella's chest as she wrapped her arms around my neck, playing with the hair at the nape of my neck.
"I'm sorry Bella…so, so sorry…"
"It's okay," She whispered, "We'll be okay."
I don't know how long we sat together like that, just holding on to each other. Bella's hands kept running through my hair as I held her tightly. I instantly felt calmer, and though we hadn't talked yet, I believed Bella's words and that we were going to be okay. Bella's hands eventually slowed and she pulled back. I slowly looked up at her. She stroked my cheek softly.
"Can we talk?"
I nodded, letting go of Bella's waist. She surprised me by taking a hold of my left hand before she sat down next to me on the bed.
"I'm sorry," Bella whispered.
"I'm sorry too," I said softly.
"Edward…I…do you…understand why I was so upset?"
"I think I do…"
Bella didn't say anything so I took that as my cue to go on.
"You've been so accepting of my past and that I was in a bad place. I know that hearing about me and other women wasn't easy and still isn't something you want to be reminded of. Bella…you misunderstood me."
She opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it and shut her mouth.
I sighed, "Bella…I said I felt like 'R' understood because she was going through the same thing I was. I never told her about my past. She just thought I was some playboy baseball player looking for a hook-up. She didn't understand that it was my way of coping…of forgetting. Bella, I trust you more than anyone, and you know more about my past and feelings than my own parents do. Baby, I could never trust anyone more than I trust you, and I'm sorry that I made you feel that way."
"What about…about the sex?"
"Bella, it's also called 'making love' for a reason…and I love you. With you…it's so much more than sex…your kisses, you touches…they mean more than anything to me. I want to make sure that everything is perfect for us when we take that step. I don't want you to regret it."
"Edward, I don't need perfect, just you. You know that I love you…" She took a deep breath, "I'm ready to go…farther."
My mind was racing at her words. I shouldn't have been surprised, and yet I was. I wasn't exactly expecting to have a discussion about our physical relationship after I had kept something so big from her. I swallowed heavily before I spoke again, "How…how far?
Bella bit her lip before she answered and hell if that didn't make my body react just a little.
"I was thinking of going for third…"
When I whipped my head to look up at Bella, her expression was completely serious. She was asking to go for third? I opened my mouth, but quickly shut it because I didn't know what to say. I was shocked that she was asking, but I was also relieved to hear her say it, and I oddly felt lighter in a way as the shock began to fade away. Elizabeth told me repeatedly that I had to trust Bella to tell me when she was ready, and I knew that I trusted her…I trusted her more than anyone.
"Third?" I whispered.
"Third," Bella responded, just as softly. We sat in silence for a few seconds, our fingers lightly brushing over each other. Bella sighed and turned to look up at me.
"Edward, I'm sorry for what I said…for making you feel worse about something that was already causing you distress. I…I just thought everything was out in the open you know? And after what happened in Vancouver, I thought we were just moving forward. That's why I reacted so harshly. You're right when you say that I don't like hearing about the women in your past…but I understand that we can't take back the things we've done. I know that you're a good man Edward, and I know that you feel bad for the things you've done. I'm sorry that I didn't trust you, and I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't trust our love."
We sat in silence, our fingers playing with each other. Slowly I brought her hand up to my lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles.
"I love you Bella Swan."
Bella smiled at me and I took that as an invitation to move closer. Imagine my surprise when she held up her free hand and stopped me from coming any closer.
"Edward…I need you to do one more thing for me."
I looked at her expectantly.
"I need you to end things with 'R'. Talk to her and tell her that it's over. Give us all closure so that we can all move on."
"I will baby."
I sighed and smiled, but my smile faded when I saw Bella staring at me.
"You want me to do it now?" I asked.
"Yes…now. I don't want anything lingering between us when we go home."
Home. That one word was my motivation. It wasn't like Bella didn't consider Seattle home too, but the way she said it made me think there was something more there…like she was referring to our home…a place together.
"Okay baby…" I said drawing out my phone.
I took a deep breath to steel myself and also kept Rosalie's words in mind. I had to end it with her, but I had to do it in a way that caused the least amount of hurt. Bella held my hand as I drew my phone out and dialed. The phone rang twice before she picked up.
"Edward!"
"Hey," I said softly.
"To what do I owe this pleasure? St. Louis is a bit of a drive for me."
"That's not why I'm calling."
"Oh?"
"Look…I don't know if you've seen the news…"
"Oh…this is it huh?" she said slowly, "No more rendezvous in Chicago."
"Yeah."
"Is it serious?"
"Yes…I love her."
"Wow Edward…congratulations. She looks like a sweet girl."
The way she said "sweet" made some alarms go off in my head, but I wasn't sure why.
"She is…" I said slowly.
"Edward, I really am happy for you."
"Will you be all right?"
"Yeah," She chuckled, "I'll be fine. You know we were nothing serious. I'm happy you've found love Edward."
"Thank you Ri," I sighed.
"We had a good run Edward," she laughed, "Good luck."
"You too."
"Goodbye Edward."
"Goodbye Ri."
I hung up and dropped the phone onto the bed next to me. I clutched Bella's hand tightly and took a deep breath. It felt like I was finally breathing and free…like there was nothing holding me down anymore. It was a fantastic feeling. I looked up and instantly grinned when I saw that Bella was smiling back at me.
"It's over," She whispered.
"Wait…" I said, picking my phone back up. I made a big show of going to where I had the number stored under "R" and showed it to Bella. I pressed on the options button and selected the "Delete" option. I smiled wider before pressing the button on my phone hard and deleting the number from my phone forever.
"Now it's over baby," I said sliding my phone back into my pocket.
Bella grinned and just as she leaned over to either hug me or kiss me, my empty stomach decided to interrupt us. Bella burst out into a laugh and pulled back, standing up and trying in vain to pull me up with her. I got the hint and stood up with her.
"Come on," She laughed, "Let's go get something to eat."
I could feel my cheeks heat and I chuckled, "Yeah…I guess I'm hungry."
Bella rolled her eyes and turned to walk towards the door, her tiny hand still laced with mine. I stayed where I was and pulled her back to me.
"Edward! What-"
Her voice cut off when she realized what I was doing. I bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead, her cheeks, passed her lips (which made her pout), and placed a kiss over her heart, where I could feel it hammering away under my lips. I stood back up and cupped her cheek softly before pressing my lips gently to hers. It was a chaste kiss and I pulled back to lean my forehead against hers.
"Now my baby's not hurting anymore," I whispered.
"I'm not…" Bella whispered back.
We walked hand in hand out of the room and headed down to the lobby. I pulled on some jeans and just went out with the t-shirt I had on. It was warm since it was June in St. Louis so neither Bella nor myself put on a jacket. She kept her hand in mine as we caught a cab over to the Old Spaghetti Factory. It was late by the time we pulled up and there were few cars around. I was nervous about Bella meeting the rest of the team. The other guys didn't have their wives or girlfriends with them, so I hoped it wouldn't be too weird for Bella. At least Rosalie and Frankie would be there.
It was oddly quiet when we walked in and I got a weird feeling. The door was open so I knew that there must have been people working or still around. Bella giggled softly and when I glanced down at her, her gaze was focused on the ground. Just as I was about to ask what was so funny, Emmett's voice echoed loudly through the restaurant.
"YOU OWE ME ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!"
I rolled my eyes as I saw Emmett standing up and pointing at me from a table in the middle of the room. Rosalie was hiding her face in her hand, and Frankie and her husband Rob were laughing. Bella on the other hand, was not so amused.
"Emmett! You bet him one hundred dollars! You knew I was going to get him to come! That's not fair!" Bella huffed, stomping her little foot.
"What?" I said, eyes wide.
Bella was blushing furiously when she met my eyes.
"Um…Emmett, uh…said I should talk to you today because I had my thoughts together. And he said you looked like crap and that if we made up tonight, you would go back to eating."
Bella frowned as she stared at me, "I don't like that you weren't eating Edward."
I went back and forth between glaring at Emmett and looking guiltily at Bella. I knew that my habits when I was without Bella were less than healthy and I went to some dark places. I couldn't let myself go back there again. As long as I had Bella, my light, in my life, I wouldn't go back to the darkness. I wouldn't dwell on what I had done or what had been done to her. We can't change what happened in the past like Bella said…all we could do was move beyond it and move forward. I was about to respond to Bella, when she turned back to Emmett and glared.
"If anyone is getting paid one hundred dollars, it's going to be YOU paying ME, because Edward and I worked things out, and I am going to get him to eat some good, tummy satisfying food."
Everyone laughed at Emmett's stunned face and Rosalie pulled him down to sit before he said or did anything else foolish.
"Where's the rest of the team?" I asked, helping Bella into her chair.
"This was all part of my master plan to save your ass! I knew if Bella talked to you tonight, you would stop your damn moping and get your ass out here so we could enjoy at least one night in St. Louis with my cousin and get some damn good food in our bellies!" Emmett boomed.
I couldn't help but laugh with everyone as the waiter came by to get our drink orders. I knew everyone drank except for Bella and I, so I insisted that they order wine and celebrate. Emmett was skeptical at first, but I insisted. Frankie was a sports writer for one of the local newspapers, so she had of course heard about my past when that story broke. Bella and I instead ordered the specialty Italian sodas that the restaurant made while everyone else enjoyed a bottle of red wine.
"So Edward," Frankie started after we placed our orders, "I hear you have a birthday coming up."
My eyes widened. With everything going on in the past couple of days, I had forgotten that my 26th birthday was in four days. I took a sip of my water and glanced at Bella. She was looking at me incredulously.
"Edward, your parents are driving down on the 17th. They're staying until the 25th."
"Uh…yeah. I forgot," I said lamely.
"Dude! You forgot your own birthday?" Emmett shouted.
"Oh shut up Emmett," Rosalie rolled her eyes, "It's not like there aren't birthdays you don't remember."
"Yeah, but I started out knowing it was my birthday."
Emmett wiggled his eyebrows and it was my turn to roll my eyes. Frankie and her husband Rob both laughed.
"Oh Edward and Bella, Rob and I could definitely tell you stories about Emmett here…" Frankie laughed, taking a sip of her wine.
"Shut it Frannie! It's not like I don't know dirt on you!" Emmett shot back.
"Don't call me Frannie!"
"Children," Rob chuckled, "I know the restaurant is empty, but let's at least act civilized…show Edward and Bella that we're not completely crazy here in St. Louis."
"I think I'd like to come back some day," Bella said, changing the subject, "I don't feel like I got a good chance to explore, and this was my first trip here."
"You guys will have to come back and meet the rest of the family!" Frankie exclaimed, "They'd love to meet you both…even if you do play for the Mariners Edward."
Everyone laughed at that and we began a discussion of how we thought the teams were going to be doing by the time the All-Star break rolled around. Ballots for voting were already out and the team was positive that Ichiro and I were going to be representing the Mariners yet again on the AL side. If I made the team this year, we'd be playing down in Anaheim, and I already knew that Disney was a big partner this year in the game. As we sat and talked, I was already thinking of bringing Bella with me and what we could do down there. I chuckled in my head…I had heard there was a "Finding Nemo" ride at Disneyland that was relatively new.
Our conversation was light and the food was delicious. I ordered the chicken parmesan while Bella got the tortellini. We shared, tasting little bits of the other's meal and to top it off, we all got spumoni for dessert. It was a little before midnight when we finally decided to call it a night. Rosalie and Bella were flying out two hours before the team was scheduled to leave and they had to wake up early tomorrow morning. We said goodbye to Frankie and Rob, promising to come back and visit some time in the future. Emmett and Rosalie took a separate cab back to the Ritz and Bella and I spent the cab ride wrapped in each other's arms and kissing each other softly.
My heart soared when Bella came back to my room without a word. It was only once we were inside and Bella asked if she could borrow some clothes to sleep in, that I panicked a bit. It was the end of our road trip, and I had no clean boxers for her to borrow, and only the t-shirt that I was currently wearing was sort of clean. When I told Bella as such, she simply said, "oh." I knew that Rosalie and Emmett were already back in the room Bella and Rosalie were sharing, and I heard stories about Rosalie and Emmett. I didn't want to subject poor Bella to walking in anything the two of them might be doing just so she could grab something to sleep in.
"Um…I have this t-shirt…" I said slowly. When Bella borrowed my shirts, they covered the shorts she wore under them anyway. The shirt would significantly cover her…but that would mean I would be sleeping shirtless.
"Okay…" Bella said softly. I nodded and slowly peeled the shirt off, thankful that I didn't sweat in it or spill anything on it while I was eating. The only other clean clothes I had left was the suit I had to wear with the rest of the team tomorrow when we flew back to Seattle.
Bella took the shirt from me and gave me a small smile before she disappeared into the bathroom. I changed into my basketball shorts and sat against the headboard. I would have offered Bella the basketball pants, but that would've just left me in my boxers, and I wasn't sure how she would have felt about that. I heard the door to the bathroom open and Bella stepped out slowly, before pausing in the doorway and crossing her ankles.
"Is this okay?" She asked softly, her shyness returning. My shirt went to about mid-thigh on her and I was trying not to drool over how long her legs looked. This shirt must've been shorter than the others she had borrowed from me in the past because I was positive if she had borrowed boxers from me, I would've been able to see them. I swallowed the drool that had pooled in my mouth.
"Perfect…" I said, my voice cracking awkwardly. I cringed as Bella giggled and placed her folded clothes on the dresser before she walked over to the bed. I slid down and lay back on the pillows under the covers before turning on my side so I could look at Bella. She turned on her side as well and gave me a small smile.
"Hi," She whispered.
I couldn't help but smile back as well and reached out to softly trace her cheek. Bella's eyes closed as she moaned softly while my fingers traced her jaw.
"I missed this…you…" I whispered, "I couldn't sleep."
Bella's eyes opened and she scooted her body closer, wrapping her arm around my waist. I shivered as my skin crackled with that familiar current I always felt when Bella's skin touched my own.
"Me too," She said softly, her tiny hand rubbing my back, "I can't sleep without you anymore it seems."
I felt the fire of her skin touching mine as her fingers traced along the indents of the muscles in my back and the line of my spine. I pulled her closer and our mouths immediately found each other, clashing against each other, insistent and needy, desperate to make up for the lost time of the past few days. My arms wrapped around Bella's back and held her close as her hand snaked between us and ran up my chest before burying itself in my hair. I moaned into Bella's mouth, loving the feeling of her tiny body pressed against me. Bella's soft moans and whimpers were music to my ears and as she pulled me closer, I lost my balance and ended up pushing her onto her back. Our lips broke apart and I pushed myself up, holding myself off her body. My dick was throbbing as it pushed against Bella's thigh. When I looked at her, her eyes were large and she was completely aroused, breathing heavily and blushing beautifully.
"Bella…" I panted, my own breathing heavy and my completely obvious arousal pressing against her.
"Shhhh…" Bella murmured, pulling me back down to her, letting my body press fully against hers again. She shifted her body so I now rested between her legs.
Her lips found mine again and her hands continued to roam across my back and shoulders. Her legs tangled with mine and I moaned as she pressed against me, her hips pressing against mine. My hands went to her leg that had brought itself up to my hip. Her skin was smooth and soft as my hand moved its way up her thigh, resting on her hip. My mouth moved to Bella's neck, placing soft kisses as I went. She moaned and panted softly as her hands continued their explorations of my bare skin. She pushed on my shoulders gently and I took the hint, rolling onto my back. I was surprised when she followed me and lay on my chest, starting to place kisses as she went. I couldn't help but groan as my hands curled into her hair, reveling in how soft and smooth the long locks were.
"Bella…" I moaned. Her hips rubbed against mine as she straddled my lap. Her kisses slowed as she nipped playfully at my skin. She sat up and looked at me, her finger tips tracing skin on my cheeks and the stubble that had grown.
"Are you okay?" She whispered.
I nodded and Bella smiled, pushing herself up to kiss my lips softly. She sat up and I moaned loudly as she pressed fully against my raging erection. She gasped, her eyes wide, and lips swollen from all of our kisses, and her hands rested at my sides, holding her body up. She shifted slightly against me, moving her hips and I bit down a moan, snapping my mouth shut.
"Bella…" I growled.
She giggled softly and dragged her finger along my stomach, tracing the lines of my abs.
"Still okay," she asked.
I was breathing heavily but I nodded. My hands rested on her thighs and squeezed them gently. She smiled at me before biting her lip and moving her hands to the hem of the t-shirt she wore.
"Bella, what are-"
Before I even had a chance to finish my sentence, Bella tugged my shirt off and threw it to the floor. I was pretty sure my mouth was hanging open and my hands were clutching her thighs tightly. She was amazing…more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. Her bare breasts were round and perfect, her rosy tips pebbling in the cold air. Before I had a chance to gaze at her further, Bella's hands came up and covered herself, and she shifted to get off of me. I quickly sat up, biting my lip to keep from groaning as her warm center pressed directly against me, and wrapped my arms around her.
"Bella stop," I whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
When I pulled back to look at her, she was biting her lip nervously. I raised my hand to cup her cheek and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her lips softly. I pulled back and smiled.
"Bella, love…you're so beautiful," I murmured, my other hand running up the line of her spine, "Please don't hide yourself from me."
"Beautiful?" she whispered.
"Beautiful, gorgeous, perfect…" I whispered back, leaning in and running my nose along the line of her jaw.
Bella giggled softly, as her arms snaked between us and wrapped around my neck. The bare skin of her chest pressing against my own was setting my body ablaze. She moaned softly as I pressed my lips against her neck, wanting to explore the new expanse of skin that was gifted to me.
As my lips began to trail further down her body, I rolled us so Bella was again on her back. She gasped and her fingers gripped my shoulders tightly as my hands now followed the path my lips took and touched her bare skin. Bella moaned loudly as I lightly nipped and sucked at the curve of her breast. Her rosy nipples were too enticing to ignore and my lips descended, eagerly sucking and nibbling. Bella cried out and her hips bucked up into me, making me moan in return. She continued to moan and whimper while my other hand played with her other breast, palming the mound and playing with her nipple between my fingers. I slowly switched, my lips brushing along her smooth skin, not wanting to neglect the other side. Bella was crying out continuously, her voice alternating between loud moans and cries of my name. I was so hard I thought I might bust through the fabric of my pants at any moment.
My hands remained near her breasts, teasing her as my lips dragged across her skin, lower to the soft, flat expanse of her stomach. I let my nose circle her belly button as Bella's hips continued to move against my chest, her hands now buried in my hair. I could smell how aroused she was and pulled back to look at her again. The simple cobalt blue boy shorts she was wearing were more enticing than any lacy, frilly thing from Victoria's Secret ever could've looked on her, and I could see the evidence of her arousal.
"Bella…" I whispered, my finger tracing along her hipbone. When I looked up, her eyes were fluttering open and her face was flushed. She smiled at me as she traced a finger down my cheek.
I turned my head and brushed my nose across the skin of her stomach, from hip bone to hip bone. Bella moaned loudly and her hips raised off the bed. I couldn't help but moan…she was so free and wanting. Nothing was standing in the way of our relationship any longer. I sucked harder on the skin near her hip as my fingers played with the hem of her panties.
"Edward…" Bella whimpered, her tiny hands tugging on my hair.
I stopped and looked up at her. She was gnawing away on her lip again and she tugged my shoulders. I willingly moved back up her body, stopping when we were face to face, and our hips were pressing against each other's again. I knew we weren't ready to go all the way tonight, and I honestly didn't want to do that here after a fight, but she had said she wanted to go for third…
"Are you okay?" I whispered, my fingers stroking her cheek.
Bella nodded, still biting her damn lip. I swear any movement of her hips was going to make me explode.
"Can we…can we wait until we get home?" She asked softly. I instantly knew what she meant and nodded, leaning forward and kissing her lips softly.
"Bella love, this is more than fine. There's no rush to get to third. Whenever you're ready baby," I said, smiling at her.
"Thank you Edward," Bella whispered, "I…I just want us to be comfortable, and after our fight…I…I'm just not ready for more tonight."
"I understand baby. When we get back to Seattle."
I rolled onto my back and started to calm my breathing down, which in turn calmed my body. Bella slowly snuggled into her spot at my side, draping half her body over mine and resting her head over my heart.
"When we get home," Bella nodded, "I can't wait to sleep in a real bed. I can't stand hotel beds. And I can't wait to see the dogs. Nessie really missed you."
"Where are they? Are Alice and Jasper watching them?"
"Angela and Ben. I dropped them off back at home before Rosalie and I left."
Inside my heart was soaring, not at the fact that our physical relationship had just grown and was going to keep doing so, but at the fact that Bella said she dropped the dogs off "at home". She considered my place in Seattle home too. While it was too soon to ask, I knew that some day soon, I wanted to ask Bella to move in with me. I couldn't spend any more time apart from her than I needed to.
"At home?" I whispered.
"Home…" Bella murmured, her voice sounding dreamy and sleepy.
I leaned down and pressed my lips to her forehead. Bella sighed and snuggled into my side as I wrapped my arms around her. Tomorrow, we were heading home.
Well? Yes? No? I hope that fluff at the end there made up for the repetition. I promise, moving forward from here.
#1. So, we learned more about our two "R" friends. I didn't want to stick with Rosalie's back story from the book, and who caught what Edward called "R"?
#2. I saw "Remember Me" again…and I sobbed again. I think this movie might have to take the title for the most I've ever cried in a movie. And today, the 20th, makes a year ago that I met Mr. Pattinson. I can't believe it's already been a year. How time flies…LOL, and I'm highly amused by the fact that "New Moon" comes out on DVD today and "Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire" is on tv. I should just call March 20th my RPattz Day or something...
#3. The fics that I currently adore are all quite angsty and unhappy times right now. Anyone have any recommendations for something nice and fluffy? It would be much appreciated.
#4. Let me know what you guys thought, good or bad, pretty please? Next chapter will still be EPOV, and it'll be his birthday. Lol…I got plans for the birthday boy and his lady. :- )