Chapter 26

May 17, 2000

Donna and Davids wedding

Dylan watches Kelly as she dances around with Donna and Janet. She looks happy, carefree and like she was having a great time. Dylan clutches his scotch and takes a sip. He was off and he knows it.

"You alright man?" David appears by his side, he sips his champagne and smiles seeing the girls having fun.

Dylan clears his throat and nods slowly, "Yeah…I'm good…it was a good wedding."

David smiles and makes eye contact with him, trying to read his sudden drop in mood, but Dylan was always quiet and reserved, he was hard to figure out. "Yeah it was." he breathes. His heart heavy and full of love as he glances at Donna. "So you and Kelly? Back on again huh?" he smiles and lifts his eyebrow bringing his attention back to his old friend. "Looks like we all got what we wanted finally."

Dylan swallowed hard, he stares at Kelly. He has wanted her back for so long. She has been keeping him at arms length, showing more than friendship but hadn't committed until tonight. Now that he has what he has wanted, he wasn't sure how his mood had turned so suddenly. It should had made him happy. She finally was giving in to her feelings and setting aside whatever fears she had with him. There was a hole in his heart though, it felt like something was missing. He had Kelly in the palm of his hand, last thing he said to her before their consummated kiss, was…"Dance with me…it's not a one time offer…we can wait." Kelly responded, "I don't want to wait." Sharing that kiss with her, seemed to fit. It felt good to be on the edge of being a couple again. Why wasn't he more excited? It felt all wrong. Like this wasn't suppose to happen. He thought of her. He knew he shouldn't have. It wasn't the first time in the last few days that she came to his mind. He had been looking through poems to read for the ceremony, after going through Browning, Byron and Eliot he finally came across a Slow Dance. That was the first time in months Brenda Walsh came into his mind. Upon reading it he couldn't help but be brought to her, to their long on and off relationship, mostly their first kiss, which the poem is about. Dylan didn't answer David, guilt rushed over him, even thinking about her again. She was gone, she had been gone. She choose her career and London and Dylan had moved back. He was over her. He set down his drink and clasped his hand on his shoulder needing a quick moment to himself.

"Excuse me for a sec, gotta hit the little boys room." Dylan excused himself to the restroom. David watched him walk away curiously. He shrugged lightly and went to join his new bride on the dance floor.

Dylan untucked his dress shirt as he walked through the double doors of the hotels ball room exhaling deeply. As he turned the corner on the way to the restroom, he smacked right into someone. His hands came out to steady both of them then his eyes widened as he took in who it was.

"Brandon! Oh my god man…how are you?" Dylan smiled widely. Both men hugged with force. He hadn't seen his old friend in over 5 years. They both slapped each other on the back a couple times as they smiled. Dylan kept his hand on his shoulder, "How are you doing brother…it's been forever man."

Brandon laughed, "I know…Bren and I caught a last minute flight from DC. Better late than never right? I'm good…how are you doing?" Dylan's eyes met the petite brunette that stood beside him. She was here! Her grey blue eyes shined bright as they stared into his. She smiled slightly as she looked down.

Dylan smiled, "I'm good. Wow…it's…it's so good to see you both." His eyes never left Brenda's. He was just thinking about her and BAM here she was…in the flesh.

Silence filled the trio. Dylan and Brenda continued staring at one another.

Brandon sensing the awkward energy finally spoke up, "Well…I'm gonna go say hello to the gang. We'll catch up later." Brandon looked between them and after getting no response he made his way into the ballroom.

Brenda looked at him. He looked good, his hair was longer than she remembered. She took a deep breath. "Hi Dylan." she finally spoke.

Dylan smiled and shook his head stepping closer to her, "Hey Bren." his eyes finally left hers as he took her in. She wore a simple strapless black dress. It came a little below her knee, hugging her thin frame like it was made for her. The soft curve of her breasts lifted tastefully showing delicious cleavage. She finished it off with a pair of scrappy heels. Dylan was well aware his eyes were drinking her up. It had been 2 years since he had seen her. Her hair was longer, past her shoulders now. The fresh cut ends hanging loosely above her breasts. Her bangs grown out and now she wore her hair parted in the middle. It was a dark rich brown and made her blue eyes almost look green in the hotel light. Dylan wanted to reach for her. He wanted to touch her face, her lips, it was an overwhelming urge he wasn't used to. Two minutes ago even with Kelly by his side he felt empty, now he felt whole and happy. The silence that surrounded them made Brenda uneasy as she went to step around him. They hadn't broken up on the best of terms and she hadn't talked to him in as long as their split. She past him and suddenly Dylan's hand reached out and grabbed hers. He pulled her towards him with ease as the front of her body hit his. His arms snaked around her small frame tightly. Brenda's eyes closed as she breathed her air filled lungs out into his chest. Her arms met around his neck and she squeezed him back tightly. Butterflies swarmed her belly, electric heat bounced off of them. 2 years hadn't done anything to her memory or the love that filled her heart. His head moved into her hair as she heard him breath in her scent. She moved her face into his neck, resting her lips against it without kissing it. Her eyes filled with tears unwillingly. Her arms crossed over one another holding him tighter as she felt his arms tighten around her waist.

"Bren." he breathed into her ear. It sent chills down her body and heat between her legs. He pulled away wanting to see her face but kept his closeness. She looked down embarrassed of her tears. Dylan smiled bringing both hands to her face. His thumb wiped stray tears from both sides. He brought his forehead to hers and they closed their eyes.

"I can't believe it's you." he whispered. She gently came too and pushed herself away from him gently.

"It's good to see you." she tried to act normal, when their reunion was anything but. There was no awkward stance or fidgeting, it was almost like no time had passed at all. Feeling close to him when she knew she shouldn't.

He cleared his throat, "It's good to see you too." silence again surrounded them now 6 inches between them.

Dylan swallowed hard feeling that hole in his heart heart close…the one he felt moments before was filled just like that. Dylan moved quickly, he didn't think about where they were or of rejection. He moved on instinct. Both his hands clasped her lower back as he pulled her aggressively to him as his lips hit hers. They froze, lips to lips for a moment. Brenda's hand came to his face as she responded. Opening her mouth with his. His breath sweet and all him. Dylan's tongue pushed into hers gently, as his hand came to the back of her head winding into her hair. They moved in sync, it was warm and familiar. His opposite hand grabbing at her back intensely, sliding down to squeeze her butt.

"Dylan." Brenda whispered, her eyes still closed, she didn't want to stop, "Not here."

Dylan nodded and took her hand gently, he pulled her to the elevators. He pushed the button, then his hand came to her face again, kissing her roughly this time. The elevator door binged loudly breaking them apart momentarily. Dylan picked her up effortlessly off the floor. His lips not moving from hers as he backed them into it. He quickly glanced at the numbers pressing his floor and then his lips were on hers again. Opening and closing, tongues dancing together deliciously. He pinned her against the side of the elevator breaking for air as he looked into her eyes bringing her to her feet.

"I swear…one look at you…my whole life falls in line." he whispered against her lips. Brenda smiled as she kissed him and moaned. This wasn't what she had planned but she would be lying if she said her coming didn't have to do with him. "God I missed you." he murmured between kisses.

Brenda's hand found his face through the passionate kiss and went into his hair, longer now she gripped it. He groaned loudly, "I missed you too." she answered back finally. Dylan's hand came to her zipper in the back. The doors from the elevator binged loudly again and opened. He practically started unzipping it and he carried her down the hall towards his suite.

Everything happened so fast, Brenda's dress was discarded in the living room of the suite, along with Dylan's suit jacket. As the kissed hungrily and danced towards the bedroom, Brenda finally felt the floor with her feet. She finally looked into his eyes, there was a powerful hunger of lust and love that shown brightly.

She slowly reached back and unsnapped her strapless bra, Dylan's eyes left hers and travelled down her body. His look made her feel sexy.

"You are still so beautiful." he whispered. "You look incredible." Brenda shyly smirked and looked down before her eyes met his again. Now that the urgency to be alone was gone, she stepped towards him, all that lie between them was undergarments. She wrapped her arms around his neck again, placing a chastised kiss to his ready mouth.

Dylan smiled and shook his head, "I still can't believe you're here."

"Me neither." she breathed against his mouth.

Dylan bent a little and took his mouth to her left breast, cupping the right one timidly. He squeezed it gently as his tongue swept across her taut nipple. She moaned out as she held his head. His tongue glided into the valley of her breasts before repeating the same sensual act on the right one. He kissed her lips again softly, then stared at her. She sat on the bed slowly, using her hands to move to the center of it. Dylan was over her in an instant. Kissing down her neck. She had had sex a lot while living in New York with Valerie these past 2 years but it never felt like this. She hadn't felt this loved and warm since…well him. Dylan lowered himself, kissing down her chest, her abdomen, her hip then his mouth kissed her lace covered pelvic bone as she closed her eyes. He wasn't even where she wanted him to be yet but the pleasure made her wet in anticipation. He made his way up to her breast again, his sexy mouth closing around the whole thing as he sucked softly. Moving his tongue around twice as she arched into him. His hands were everywhere as he kissed her deeply. It was like he was memorizing her body again after all this time. Brenda reached for his boxer briefs as Dylan got the hint. He backed away from her and stood and Brenda instantly felt the loss. He watched her with lustful eyes as he pushed them down easily. After a beat he was crawling over her again. His palms went to the sides of her hips again caressing them slowly. Dylan gripped the offending lace roughly and slid them down her thighs painfully slow.

"Dylan." Brenda breathed, "Please." she shamefully begged needing him. Brenda had been intimate with Dylan for way too many years. She knew what came next. He smirked up at her hearing her beg. He settled in between her legs, his eyes never leaving hers as he pushed her legs open slowly. His tongue darted out quickly as he tasted her, slow and steady her soft folds hugging his mouth. Brenda moaned loudly. Dylan got comfortable his arms wrapping around her hips and thighs as he pressed his tongue flat against her most sensitive bundle and began to devour her. Dylan closed his eyes concentrating. The familiar moans of Brenda filled his senses and urged him on. He had missed her, truly missed her and it was hard not to think about London and their life together there. As he continued his tongue assault he heard Brenda's moans and breathing intensify. He sped up, licking at her slick folds like he was a starved man. His tongue fell into a steady pace, as it circled and pressed against her sensitive clit. Just when he knew Brenda was about to come undone he inserted one finger into her heat, then a second finding the spot he had gotten to know well. He only got a few deep thrusts in when.

"Oh…god." she moaned loudly and came hard against his face with a long moan of satisfaction. She shook slightly riding out her bliss. He slowed and then eventually stopped as he felt Brenda's hand rest on his head pushing him a little. He slowly kissed up her body. As he felt Brenda's body relax and calm.

He hovered over her as her eyes opened. Her chest heaving with deep breaths still recovering. He kissed her hard, she could taste herself and Dylan as his tongue met hers. Weirdly It turned her on a little.

"You have no idea how much I missed that." he uttered playfully.

Brenda giggled a little, high from her orgasm. He kissed her neck and Brenda reached between them. There was no need to get Dylan in the mood, he stood firm like steel in her hand ready as ever. He grunted a little as her small hand gripped tightly and moved up and down his shaft.

Dylan grabbed Brenda's hips roughly as she moved a few inches down the bed closer to him. He moved the tip through her opening, Brenda moaned loudly again. She was sensitive but it was doable. He lined himself up and looked into her loving eyes as he pushed into her slowly. Warm tight perfection held him. He leaned over her letting her get used to his size and kissed her softly. As he sat inside of her, he took this moment in. They stared into each others eyes, his fingers gently pushing her hair away from her forehead. Dylan leaned in and kissed her gently again. He let his tongue enter slowly meeting hers. Then they both deepened it. He kept is weight on his elbows and stayed flush with her as he started moving. Slowly taking in every inch of her. He felt like it had been forever since he had been intimate with Brenda but yet it was all comfortable and familiar. He made love to her, pushing his full self into her slowly, deeply his mouth never leaving hers. His heart burst with love and while he moved inside her he knew he loved her still, he hadn't really stopped. He realized this had to be meant to be this felt more right than anything he had felt in the last 2 years. She popped into his life at the exact time he knew something was missing. Dylan knew they belonged together. He looked into her eyes again, the 3 words on the tip of his tongue. At that moment Dylan knew Brenda loved him too. Her eyes forth telling. The intimacy too real…too emotional not to be. Instead of saying I love you which was all he was thinking he began, "I remember how seeing the shape of your mouth that first time, I kept staring until my blood turned to rain. Some things take root in the brain and just…don't let go." he recited T.S. Eliot whispering as he plunged in and out of her slowly.

Her fingers came to his face lovingly, she remembered this poem from back in high school. Dylan had written it in a love note for her. She got lost in memories for a moment. Then Dylan pushed into her deeply and her hand flung to the bed above her head taking her back to the present moment. Dylan hand caressed up her arm slowly, pushing in and out of her steadily. His fingers met hers as they laced together. Keeping them intertwined lovingly they made love until sweat glistened from their bodies, making them stick together as one. Dylan squeezed her hand tenderly as her walls clamped around him suddenly. Brenda's cry out was sensual and sexy as his lips connected with hers. He groaned loudly into her mouth as he emptied into her his orgasm hitting him out of no where. They rode out their orgasms together blissfully, their fingers laced together intimately. Nose to nose they breathed life into each other. Little did Brenda and Dylan know…in nine months they'd be parents.

Dylan's eyes opened as Brenda lay asleep, her face centimeters from his. His hand came up moving her hair away from her face so he could see her better. They'd been holed up in this hotel room for days. Making love, laughing, reminiscing. Dylan didn't think he had ever closed the outside world out so well in his life, and he was very good at that. He didn't care about the outside world though because these past 4 days felt like home. The one thing that hadn't come up was anything to do with the future and the love they were both feeling inside for one another. Neither of them breathed those 3 words that had flowed out so easily before when it came to them. Brenda's eyes fluttered open, as if sensing he was staring at her.

"Morning handsome." she stretched a little and smiled.

"Morning pretty girl." he smiled back. His thumb caressing her lips tenderly.

Brenda moaned a little as she kissed him intensely. These past few days had been much the same. Sex, cuddles, laughing, talks, room service, shower together, sex again, cuddles, laughing, reminiscing, sleep, sex, room service and so on and so on. Dylan knew it was time to discuss what all this was, what it meant. He pulled away from the kiss, hugging her to him for a moment.

"Bren." Dylan breathed full of emotion, "How long are you here for?" he asked scared of what the answer was.

Brenda smirked, "How long do you want me to be." her voice thick with seduction and flirtation. Dylan smirked and kissed her deeply again, "Brenda…" he paused nervous now. Brenda's head tilted to the side, her fingers coming to his face trying to show him he could tell her anything.

He stared into her eyes, "I love you. I've always loved you. I knew I still loved you as soon as I saw you downstairs. These last two years I've been lost. I didn't know what I wanted in my life but seeing you again has brought everything together. I want to be with you. These past 4 days have been eye opening. Finally I feel like I know what I want…I want you."

Brenda smiled touched. Her thumb grazed his lips, "I love you too." she said in a whisper.

It didn't take long for Brenda and Dylan to make love again. After 4 days of doing just that, it felt necessary now that their feelings were out in the open. Finally saying those 3 words that had clouded both their minds for days…maybe years. As Dylan held her in his arms, both breathing heavily from their orgasms and love making Dylan spoke.

"I have to talk to Kelly." he said low but Brenda heard clearly. She sat up taking the sheet with her.

She looked at him oddly, "Why would you have to talk to Kelly?" she couldn't help the bitterness in her tone. Why he would ruin this perfect bubble of love with her name.

Dylan exhaled and sat up. He leaned against the headboard his hands ringing together nervously. "I'm with Kelly."

Brenda's eyes widened. "You're with Kelly?" she had no idea. She hadn't heard they were back together. Granted she lived in another country but last she heard Kelly was with some lawyer. That's why it seemed so easy for brandon to talk her into coming with him while she visited him in DC. "You're with Kelly?" she repeated angry now. "You have got to be shitting me?" Brenda got up hastily in search of her clothes. Dylan was on his feet in a moment. He watched Brenda find her panties as she pulled them on. He grabbed his boxers and hoisted them over his hips quickly.

"Brenda…please…let me explain." he stopped her shuffle of trying to find her stuff. Both hands on her upper arms. She looked hurt as she looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything. She has been the last thing on my mind since I saw you." she tried to pull away as he pulled her back gently. "Brenda I love you. I want you. Please believe me." he begged.

Brenda pulled back from him angrily, "You've been sleeping with me for days Dylan…I cant believe you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend…and its kelly?!" She was still shocked. All this over again. She didn't think she could handle this.

"Brenda I didn't say anything because I didn't care. I saw you and finally my life felt complete. Please please baby…believe me. I didn't know where you were. You were gone, you choose London and a life without me. I haven't been with Kelly long, we actually just made things official at the wedding…please Brenda…dont leave."

Brenda wiped a tear that had escaped as she exhaled, "I cant believe this." Dylan saw her calming.

"We can tell her together." his hands came to her face.

"Tell her what Dylan." Brenda's tone defeated. These past 4 days have been the best time in her life since they were together in London. She wasn't sure she wanted to deal with all this again but the thought of leaving, being without him again made her heart ache.

Dylan moved slowly to her. His arms winding around her bare waist. Chest to chest he kissed her forehead before his eyes fell on hers. "Tell her that I had finally chosen. That I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

All this seemed too much. Brenda wanted nothing more than to be with him, but hearing the name Kelly in their love bubble brought back reality. "I'm going to Switzerland. My tour starts in a week." she rushed out lying. She had no tour, no play. She went to visit her brother because she had to get out of London. After moving back there from New York all the memories came flooding back of their life together there. She had no plan. All she knew was she couldn't be there anymore so she went for a long visit to DC. There Brandon talked her into going to LA with him and here she was.

"You're leaving?" hurt evident in his voice. "No." he shook his head, "No." he said more stern.

"Dylan…it's my job." She backed away from him. She began collecting her things again needing the space.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Stay with me. I just got you back." his voice wounded. "You can't leave now." he begged.

"Dylan!" she stopped after fastening her strapless. "Look at us…this is the same thing all over again. You and me again? it's not a good idea." she looked down, she couldn't even look at him in the eyes. Guilt and loss already running through her veins.

"But." Dylan exhaled, "I love you."

Brenda looked at him, she sighed and wiped her tear. "I love you too. It's just too much." She stepped into her dress and looked at him in silence as she zipped it up. "I'm gonna go."

Dylan rushed her, his hands on her face, "Please stay with me Bren. Don't go to Switzerland. You don't have to do that tour. I can take care of you. You can act here. Please don't leave me again for your work." Dylan begged.

"I don't have a choice, I've committed to it Dylan." She said quietly. She leans in and kisses him gently. "I'll always love you Dylan. These past few days have been incredible."

"Then don't leave." he breathes against her lips. "Please."

Their lips find each other again. This one doesn't go unnoticed by Dylan that it feels like goodbye, not forever. She opens her mouth to him as their tongues meet in a sweet embrace. The kiss is fiery and intense, loving and passionate.

"Goodbye Dylan." her forehead rests on his for a moment. Dylan stands silent his eyes closed feeling her close to him. The hole in his heart opening again. She pecks him softly again and turns to leave. His heart aches as he watches her leave. She chose her career again. As Dylan sits on the edge of his bed as he hears the door to the hotel suite close with a click. His face falls into his hands, again his life feels empty. He would feel this way for the next month until those grey blue eyes appear at his door with news that will change both their lives forever. News that will bring them together again and this time…forever connected.

Dylan's eyes open. His dream making him feel empty but as he awakens more he feels her against him. Her head laying on his chest, her arms around him. He tightens his hold around her frame. She is here, she has been here for 17 years comes to the front of his mind. It was just a memory…a dream. Brenda is asleep, her breathing even and calm. Dylan's hands run down her back as he kisses her head lightly. He closes his eyes with a content sigh, happy his life is where it is. Happy she came back. Happy he got her pregnant so he could have the chance to show her how much he loved her. Happy that fate stepped in and wouldn't allow them to make the same mistakes life had bestowed upon them. The way Brenda loves him, it changes who he is. He silently thanks god again for the millionth time that he gets to love her.

At that moment he wakes her, by shifting so he is looking at her. Sleep evident on her face she lightly smiles at him opening her eyes. His morning wood resting prominently on her belly. He begins kissing her hungrily, Brenda smiles mid kiss, knowing that Dylan is in the mood for morning sex. It happens frequently and Brenda loves it. To be woken up by kisses and touches in such an intimate way. As Dylan moves over her, the first time he was with her again, the night they conceived the twins fresh in his mind. He pushes into her forcibly as Brenda moans out loud. Her nails running down his back sending shivers down his body in return. Insecurity floods over him thinking about her leaving him for her fake Switzerland tour. For her new TV show. He fucks her hard, a feeling of rapture and command in his thrusts. He wants to own her after his dream. Bringing him back to a upsetting time of loss and struggle. He grunts loudly as he looks down thrusting hard and deep into her. Brenda is taken back by his predatory look as he looks into her eyes. But the powerful thrusts feels good. They had made love every way a couple could. Sometimes rough…sometimes slow…sometimes so passionate it could bring tears in her eyes. She knew by his stare he needed this. He wanted to posses her. He sat up a little, his hands finding both sides of her hips. He grips them almost painfully bringing himself deeper into her. His head falls back as he thrusts in and out of her quickly. He is loud and vocal and even though Brenda is taken back by his sexual aggression, pleasure rips through her whole body causing her to moan loudly. She knows something is bothering him but her body is tingling with enjoyment that she can't bare to stop him. She likes that he is possessing her. She likes that he is fucking her senselessly but one thought pops into her mind, Why?

"Turn around." he growls.

Brenda sits up and looks at him, confusion written all over her face as he stops moving and stays inside her. "Baby." she whispers, "Whats going on?" her hand comes to his face tenderly. She wants him to open up to her.

"I want to fuck you from behind." he says honestly.

"What is all this? Are you angry with me?" Brenda is taken back. it's not like they had never done this before but something felt odd about his sweet and loving caresses to this. Something changed.

Dylan exhales, "I'm not angry with you." guilt rushes him for being rough with her. He slides his arms around her waist and brings her flush against him into his lap. He is still inside her and it feels so good he has to hold back from coming right then and there. "I'm sorry…did I hurt you?" he looks into her eyes feeling badly.

She shakes her head, "No…are you okay?" her hand brushes back his hair looking into his hurt eyes.

"I just wanted to be with you…I'm sorry if we aren't on the same page." if he wanted to do it like this, maybe she wanted slow and steady.

"It's not that." She said sweetly seeing the look of shame across his handsome features. "Do you want to talk about it?" Her arms wrap around his neck as his tighten around her waist. She moves grinding herself against him. Pleasure ripping through them both. She doesn't want to stop but she wants to make sure he is okay. He moans out and closes his eyes.

He meets her thrusts with his own, "No…I just want to be with you." he says again grinding together delicously.

Brenda smiles at him, then he pushes deep into her causing her to scream out. Her head falls back she knows something is on his mind, maybe he'll tell her but at this point in time she cant bring herself to stop him. He kisses her hungrily, his aggression coming back full force. He pulls her to him roughly kissing her with wild abandonment. She is straddling him, her eyes looking down at him lustfully, his head tilted up so he can kiss her. He lifts her small frame effortlessly making her ride him quickly. His lips never leaving hers. Loud noises fill their bedroom and neither of them care. He lifts her laying her on her back again pumping in and out of her. He is over her again. With one swift motion Brenda is turned, Dylan is pulled out of her and the front of her body hits the mattress. Dylan grabs her hips, raising them as she is on all fours now as he pulls her back to him. He slips inside her roughly as he pounds into her over and over again. Dylan is grunting loudly, its feral and sexy and Brenda is turned on. His hand finds her breast as he squeezes hard. He is moving into her so quickly Brenda closes her eyes. It is painful but a good painful. She feels her orgasm coming quickly. As he feels Dylan grab her hair forcibly, driving into her hard. She cries out as pleasure rushes through her core and over her body, she cums hard as her moans and cries ride it out, this isn't a typical orgasm, it's lasting longer, its intense and is making her scream out in satisfaction. Dylan grunting with every push into her moving faster and faster, the grunts louder and wild. Another orgasm hits Brenda again, not sure when the last one stopped and this one began.

"Dylan!" she screams not sure what is happening to her body at the moment. She is shaking uncontrollably as he keeps driving into her hard, wetness falling between both of them . Finally Dylan pulls her whole body up, her back against his chest as he grabs both breasts, hanging on for dear life. He continues fucking her from this new position, his face in her neck as he finally lets go with a fierce groan, he cums in her hard pumping in and out riding it out with a series of moans. He thrusts into her one last time with a grunt, freezing deeply inside of her. His orgasm long and intense he breaths heavily into her ear. Brenda is trembling uncontrollably against him, catching her breath he holds on to her tightly, she is still climaxing. A few beats she is coming down. She can't feel anything at the moment but bliss. She can barely hold herself up.

"Fuck." she breathes, not sure what just happened.

"My god." he breathes, he's not sure what came over himself either.

Brenda falls onto the bed her legs and mind mush. He slides besides her, his head on her chest as he hugs her tighyly, childlike.

"Don't leave me for your work Bren." His voice low, breathy and demanding. Finally letting out his fear. Tears fill his eyes as he realizes what this take down meant. The show…he's scared she'll get famous and leave him. Like Brenda may always be fearful of Dylan and Kelly, Dylan will always be nervous of her choosing her career again.

Her eyes closed, she shakes her head, "Never." she breathes, "I'll never leave you." she reassures him.

"Promise?" Dylan asks insecure and emotional.

"I promise." she breathes finally opening her eyes. Her hand goes to his head as she plays with his hair, her work is a touchy subject it always has been and she hasn't decided on the show. Whatever fear Dylan is having is for nothing because Brenda wouldn't change the life she has now for all the fame in the world.

Kelly sits in her bed, her laptop on her lap as she scrolls down. She hears her phone chirp and she grabs it checking the incoming text message.

Let me take you to dinner? It's from Ryan.

She take a deep breath and sets it aside not answering. She has been trying to dodge his advances all week. She looks to her computer again. She feels like her Facebook stalking of Brandon has become a daily occurrence. He doesn't post much but today she sees new photos. It's of Palm Springs. The first one he is standing close to his kids. Nate on one side, Alyssa on the other. They pose closely at what looks like the village in Palm Springs, Kelly smiles. She clicks the arrow to the next one. Brenda and Dylan stand in their swimsuits, arms around each other tightly. Brandon is next to Valerie, his arm loosely draped around her shoulders. She exhales and clicks the arrow to the next. It's a selfie of the four of them. Brandon holding out the camera, Dylan's lips connected to Brenda's cheek as she smiles a pretty closed mouth smile towards the camera. Brandon cheek to cheek with Valerie. They all look happy in the pic. The caption reads, family is where the heart is. Palm Springs. The last one is a group shot. David holding ruby on his hip as he cuddles into Donna, Emma and Byron arms around each other cheek to cheek, next to them Eliot and Aidan smile widely as he stands behind her with his arms around her waist, Nate…Alyssa posed with Valerie happily and Brandon, his arm is draped around Valerie as his daughter stands semi in front of him. Brenda and Dylan posed together cheek to cheek looking blissfuly happy. Her tears flow down her cheeks as she looks at how happy everyone is. Valerie and Brandon look like a couple with their children. She knows she is thinking crazy but the feeling of not being there, not included, not being by her own kids next to Brandon is overwhelming. That used to be her in the group shots. That used to be their trip to Palm Springs or Big bear or wherever the twins had decided to go. She roughly closes her lap top. She can't even look at them. She closes her eyes and cries. She thinks of the journal, the stupid journal she should have thrown out. Her eyes open as she looks at her closet. She moves her lap top to her bed and gets up. She glances up to the shelf and reaches up on her tip toes and grabs it. She looks down at the black leather thing that has caused all her pain it seems. She opens it and briefly reads it, she flips towards the back. May 17, 2000. She walks over towards her bed and sits again. She doesn't remember exactly what she wrote, it's been so long. She takes a deep breath and begins.

May 17, 2000

Dear Diary,

I have no idea where Dylan is. He just left me at the reception. I knew trusting him was a mistake. Once an emotional no show always an emotional no show. I tried to enjoy the rest of the reception. Brandon showed up and he looked so good. Why did I screw that up with him again? Brandon was always the one that was there, he was present and always committed. Why did I allow Dylan McKay to get under my skin again? He'll never change.

Kelly

May 19, 2000

Dear Diary,

I ran into Brandon today at the pit. It was good to see him. He is always so nice and sweet. I asked him if he had seen any of the gang since the wedding. He mentioned he had seen Steve and had dinner with him and Janet, he then brought up Dylan. He said something that radiated into me and made my heart stop for a second. He said he hadn't seen Dylan since himself and Brenda ran into him outside the ballroom. He said matter of fact he hadn't seen his sister since either. Brenda is back? Brenda is back and Dylan is MIA? Well that explains everything. He is back with her I know it. How dare he? He begged me to commit to him, to take him back and at the first sight of Brenda he is gone. What an asshole Diary. I knew it, I knew he wasn't serious about me. Dylan McKay isn't serious about anyone. Brandon asked me to dinner tonight and I'm going. Fuck Dylan…fuck Brenda. They deserve each other.

Kelly.

Kelly's hand covers her mouth. No wonder Brandon was pissed. When she thinks back to that time, her memories are flooded with Brandon, reconnecting and starting their family. Now she reads into her mind and all she wrote about was Dylan. She scans numerous entries after, they are all the same. Dylan…Dylan…Brenda…Dylan…Brenda. "Oh my god." she breathes. it was like she was obsessed. She stops at another entry.

June 22, 2000

Dear Diary,

I'm pregnant and I have never been happier. As soon as I took the test I drove over to Brandon's. He is so excited. He kissed me lovingly and told me he was going to marry me. My god Diary, my heart is full. Brandon and I have been seeing each other again for a few weeks and now this happens. It's like its meant to be. Finally everything is falling into place. I love him so much. He is my everything. And our love made a human being. Its just like it was all those years ago. Brandon is my soul mate and in 9 moths were going to be parents. I love my life. I love that I'm going to be a mom. I love that I get to share this with Brandon. It's like finally I know what I deserve and it's happiness with my one true love.

Kelly

Did he not read this? Doesn't he know how much she loves him? Maybe there are journal entries about Dylan…but mostly about how much of a prick he is. She looks at the clock next to her bed. It's only 8am but she doesn't care. She gets up not caring she is in sweatpants and grabs her keys bringing the journal with her. She drives to Brandon's condo and parks. She takes a deep breath noticing a grey BMW parked on the street, she doesn't recognize it and walks up to his front door anyway, holding the journal with her left hand as her right knocks loudly on the door. She waits pateintly, her nerves a mess. No answer she knocks again, this time harder and longer. Finally the front door swings open. Brandon is standing in his pajama pants with no shirt on. He looks confused and nervous.

"Ah…Kel…what are you doing here?" he finally gets out.

Kelly pushes past him and walks into his living room, "I have to talk to you."

Brandon looks towards his hallway then back at her, "Now…isn't really the best time."

"No Brandon." She holds up the journal, "I know what it looks like in this. I know it seems like you were second choice, you were never second choice. He was Brandon. Since I fell in love with you…he was always second choice." Brandon looks down.

"Did you read the rest? Any of the other entries? When you and I had gotten together? When I found out I was pregnant?" Kelly stares at him and from the corner of her eye she sees someone. Valerie walks out into view from the hallway. Kelly freezes at the sight of her as she stares.

"Hey Kel." Valerie's voice strong and confident.

Kelly looks at the time on her watch, it's almost 8:30 in the morning, why is she here? And then it hits her. "Oh my god." she breathes. She looks at Brandon as he looks back at her, "You and Valerie?" she whispers.

"Kel…I." Brandon begins but then he stops, there is nothing that he can say to explain this. It had only happened twice since Palm Springs. He wasn't proud of it. He was just lonely and she was there and willing.

"You…and Valerie?" she repeats loudly.

Valerie points to the door, "Im gonna go." she says awkwardly before slipping out.

Kelly glares at Brandon. Tears streaming down her face. She lifts the journal up and throws it at him roughly. It hits his chest with a thump and falls to the floor, "You're sleeping with Valerie?" Kelly screams. "How could you!"

Brandon exhales and moves towards her, "Kelly…this is not your business. We aren't together I can sleep with whoever I want." he says calmly but stern.

"But…Valerie?" Kelly is shocked…embarrassed and beyond pissed off. "How long?"

"Kel…" Brandon begins.

"HOW LONG?" she cried loudly.

"Palm Springs…and a couple times after." he says quietly.

"Oh my god I can't believe this." Kelly looks to the floor, her tears are uncontrollable.

"I'm sorry Kel…we aren't together…it…just happened. I'm sorry I didn't mean for you to find out like this."

Kelly breaks down harder, "You didn't intend for me to find out at all. Who are you? Valerie Brandon…VALERIE! She is like a sister to you." She sobs disgusted.

Brandon's hands comes over his face frustrated as he slides them down it. Him and Valerie had just this morning talked about stopping this and now their secret was out.

"I don't even know who you are anymore." she sobs as she rushes to the door. The slam of it brought Brandon's attention to the the floor as he picks up Kelly's journal.

Kelly cries in her car as she drives. She knows Valerie is staying at the Beverly Hills hotel. Without even thinking she starts the drive there but as she passes the long driveway of the McKay residence, gate open she notices the same grey BMW parked in their driveway. Suddenly without thinking, she is pulling in.

EEEK…Ok so Brandon and Valerie have been doing it. Kelly knows and now Brandon is in possession of the journal. I know everyone feels bad for Kelly but she isn't innocent and she isn't suppose to be. I want to know what everyone is thinking? What they are feeling? Dylan has his own insecurities about his life now doesn't he? They were hot though. This chapter was not suppose to be this way. It had intended to be an outtake or an added chapter of the past but whatever it turned into this. Please review. I have never read so many conflicting opinions LOL it's amazing! I love all your reviews and I thank you all for taking the time out to send them!