July 7th, 1996

Your eyes are pinkish and swollen when you open your front door.

"Whoa, what—"

"Let's go," you say sharply, grabbing your bag and hustling me away from the threshold. You don't say anything once we're in the car; you're silent until I pull into a spot at the skate park. As soon as I put the car in park and unbuckle my seatbelt, you burst into tears.

My anxiety level is at an all-time high. "What's wrong?" I brush strands of hair damp with tears from your face and kiss your temple. "Talk to me, dollface." I've never seen you like this. Ever. I don't think I've ever seen you cry, period. "What's going on?"

You shake your head slowly. "My d—" A stuttering breath interrupts your words. "Dad. He said"—you break off to breathe deeply again—"he said he thinks I'm settling."

"Settling for…" My eyebrows draw together in confusion, but an ache spreads through my chest when I understand. "Me?"

You don't hesitate to say no. "He likes you. He does. He just said we're young."

"Okay…we are young."

"He thinks we spend too much time together and we're too clingy."

"What?"

You nod and swipe your fingers under your eyes, where your makeup has started to run. "He's worried that I made the decision to go to Stanford for the wrong reasons and that maybe we should slow things down, have whatever stupid college experience people are supposed to have."

This is a total shock to me. Both of your parents have seemed cool with our relationship from the beginning. "Where's this coming from?"

"I think after I got upset about the Berkeley thing, he thought I really wanted to go there. So when I switched to Stanford after you got in, I guess he thought it was just because of you."

I swallow hard and squeeze your hand, letting you know that I'm here. It's me. You can tell me the truth. "Is it, Bella?"

You shake your head slowly, looking kind of hurt, and I almost regret asking you. But it's also sort of a valid question. I don't push. I just hold you, petting your hair, murmuring an occasional, "Shhh." Eventually, you fall silent except for the occasional hiccup, which makes me smile. "Look," I say, remembering the surprise I stashed for you. "I brought you something." Opening the glovebox, I nudge your head from my shoulder and pull out one package of Airheads and one package of Atomic Fireballs.

You stare for a minute, and there's that beautiful smile. It even shines in your pink, watery eyes.

"Remember?"

"Of course. The first time I kissed you."

I have to laugh, because yeah, that is how it happened, and I love it. "You're still my Atomic Fireball. But Bella…are you doing it for the right reasons?"

"You don't think us being together is a good enough reason."

"It's not that. I—"

"I'm not some silly, lovesick kid. I did my research. I really feel like Stanford's the better school for me."

I search your eyes for even a hint of uncertainty, but there's none there.

"I love you so much, Edward. I do. But please don't have such little faith in me."

"Bella—"

"I know what I'm doing."

I give it a minute to make sure you're really done this time, then rub my thumb across your cheek. "I know you do. I have complete faith in you."

"Thank you."

Wiping the drying tracks of tears from your face, I pull you close again, knowing exactly how to cheer you up. My lips find yours, and with your head cradled in my hands, I show you how much I love you. I pour everything I've ever felt for you into that kiss.

…until a loud knock on the window makes us jump and break apart.

"Yo, lovebirds!" Jasper shouts from outside. "Quit sucking face and get out here."

I flip him off over my shoulder, unwilling to look at anything or anyone other than you right now. You seem a little dazed, blinking and breathing rapidly.

"We'll be okay," I murmur, kissing the corners of your mouth one last time. "No matter what."

Alice's hair is blue again. Since she started dyeing it a couple of years ago, it's always been blue. She changed it to purple when she and Jasper hooked up, but it's definitely bright blue now. I watch her gesturing wildly, making you laugh as you sit side by side, feet dangling over the edge of the empty concrete pool-turned-skate-park. My attention is diverted momentarily by your bare legs, which look amazing in the short jean shorts you're wearing. I love your dresses, but those shorts… Let's just say they were the catalyst for a rather obscene afternoon at the houseboat once.

As if you can feel my eyes on you, you turn toward me and wave happily. Jasper stomps on the end of his board and catches it, muttering something to himself.

"What's with you?" I ask him. "You've been pissy all day."

"Nothing," he snaps.

"Don't take it out on me, then."

He sighs and scratches the back of his neck. "Alice broke up with me."

Oh. "Shit. Sorry, man."

"It's…whatever."

"But you're here together?"

"She said she wants to be friends, so, you know. I'm trying."

He definitely doesn't seem okay with that. I don't know if I could do it. If we broke up… I don't even want to imagine it, but if we did, I don't know that I could act like just your friend. It'd kill me.

Jasper shrugs, tosses his board down, and takes off again. I glance back at you and Alice before I follow him.

"It sucks Jasper and Alice broke up," I say later that night as we sit on the curb between our houses, just like early days. The air's sticky, and my ice cream's starting to drip down the side of my waffle cone.

"Yeah."

"Did you know?"

You shake your head and lick chocolate off your hand. "She just told me this afternoon."

"Huh. I wonder why."

"Hmm?"

"Why she didn't say anything to either of us."

"I think it just happened a couple of days ago."

"Still."

You raise an eyebrow at me. "This is really bothering you, isn't it?"

I shrug and take a bite of my cone.

"What's up?" you prompt.

"She dyed her hair again."

"Aaaand?"

I sigh. "She dyed it purple when they started dating. And they just broke up, and it's already different again."

"I think you might be reading a bit too much into that. You sound a little like a girl."

My smile is weak, but yeah, I guess I do sound ridiculous. "It's just…she didn't seem that sad about it."

"Oh. That's definitely an act."

"You think?"

"Trust me. This is an act of self-preservation. She said it'd just be prolonging the inevitable. He'll be in Texas; she'll be in L.A."

"I guess," I say, sighing. "Jasper was pretty down."

"She hates it, too," you say, finishing off your cone, "but you know her. Avoidance."

"Hm. She didn't think avoidance was the answer when she was threatening to beat me up over you."

"When did she do that?"

"Are you kidding me? The day after the Tanya thing. Alice was on the phone first thing in the morning and said I had to apologize immediately."

"What?" You shake your head slowly. "I had no idea. She told me you wanted to apologize face to face. Guess I assumed it was all you."

"She called me every name in the book."

"So…you were forced to apologize to me?"

Shit. My panic is short-lived, because you raise an eyebrow and smirk at me before I even say a word. "You're bad," I say.

"I can be."

I chuckle and scrub my hands through my hair, because that kind of talk combined with those short shorts can only lead to trouble.

And you know it, too.

"I don't know how he's doing it. Jasper. I don't think I could be 'just friends' with you."

At first, you look hurt, but I can see the wheels turning inside your head.

"I think I know what you mean. It'd hurt. A lot." You rest a hand on my leg and squeeze. "Good thing we don't have to worry about that."

"Yeah."

"You're stuck with me now. There's no going back." Your fake evil laugh makes me smile, and I kiss away a spot of chocolate from your top lip.

"Nope. I've got you for good."

You swallow so hard I can hear it. "For good?"

"For keeps."