Olena Belikov had a fair knowledge of how to treat wounds, lessen fever, help a mother with child or wrap a sprained limb.

She had the presence of mind to act quickly in case of an accident, for she was not new to this side of life, she had seen death, from the simplest and the quickest to the gruesome and painful ones.It was a part of her job description.

But when a dark haired girl with doe eyes came up to her house bearing the news that her baby boy was dead, she had a hard time believing her.

She couldn't figure out how as to soothe the ache gradually building up in her chest, nor how to fix the shattered heart of her baby girls who had just been told that they'd never see their beloved brother again.

She wasn't unknown to her son's stellar reputation. Never had she doubted his skill, she had seen what he could do when he had thrown Randall out of the house, and over the years his skills had only improved, his techniques developed , reflexes sharpened, so how could she believe that her boy was no more.

She hadn't come to terms with the news, when the girl had added that her son wasn't dead, he had joined the undead, thus the emotions which were always carefully under wraps, emerged to the surface, the motherly and humbling look crumbled, leaving behind a distressed appearance, she couldn't decide if she should laugh or cry, for the universe was playing a joke on her, one of her biggest fears had come to life and in the worst way possible.

She hadn't had the chance to bid him farewell, hadn't had the chance to comfort him one last time, she hadn't had the chance to see his face once before he was lost forever ,she hadn't been there to relieve him, to tell him that it would be okay, for once her mind cursed her, for she hadn't been there to prevent the terrible fate from befalling him.

She had feared for him since the day he had first started attending St. Basils, her fear had increased over years as she saw his potential, the more the potential, the more he would be valued, the more dangerous situations he would be placed in and more would be her chances of losing him.

She had celebrated with him and Ivan as the boys had graduated, she had been happy for both of them and their luck, but once they had left for the court she had spent half a morning sobbing in her apron for she didn't know if her boys were ever going to return.

She had lived a nightmare when Ivan had died. The boy was as dear to her as her Dimka and they had mourned for him and cherished his memories, it had been hard but they had moved on or atleast tried to.

Losing her baby boy was too great a loss to move on from anytime soon. It was too soon for him to be gone, to leave them,the news was heart wrenching and shocking, unreal even, specially when she had been expecting to hear from him that very morning, for he had promised to call them on Friday mornings for those were his mornings, off duty.

He didn't call regularly, but whenever he did it was on a Friday between six to eight thirty in the morning, as a result of which Olena couldn't help but brighten up every Friday morning hoping that it would be yet another day that she would get to know of his whereabouts and hear from him.

She was taken aback realizing that the last such call she had recieved from him was around two months ago and that would be the last of them ever.

Looking back at the memory she could still hear his affectionate voice greeting her, asking her about his sisters and babushka and their whereabouts, she still remembered the excitement in his voice as he told her about his Roza, she was happy for him, contented to know that he was living his life with a goal in his mind, overjoyed to see that her baby boy had finally found love and satisfied thinking that he was still alive,but no more.

To add to her ever growing agony, her mind conjured his smiling face from times when he had won the annual combats at the academy, had been informed that Ivan was to be his charge, brought her a new watch from his first paycheck for he despised her old 'boring' one.

She could clearly recall the day when his fouteen year self had baked an entire loaf of black bread only for her, in order to celebrate mother's day, the sole time he had ever been at home for the occasion, the other times, his gifts and tinkrets often just found their way to her.

Reality came crashing down upon her as she heard someone sob loudly, only to realise that it was none other than her own self, she hadn't even realized that her cheeks were wet and the tears just won't let them dry.

Trying to calm herself she remembered the pride that had shone in the eyes of her boy when she had praised him at the successful completion of his bloodmaster training, the look of peace that had settled on his face when he had hugged all his siblings before departing for his first ever assignment.

Her boy deserved more than petty tears, he was a warrior, a protector, a gentleman, who deserved to be honoured, remembered and cherished in the best way possible and at his best, this death was a mere hindrance, her boy deserved to live forever in tales and family stories for he had been a loyal son,respected and hardworking a Guardian, caring grandson, beloved brother, fierce protector and Olena was to make sure that the Belikovs remembered the best of him.

It wasn't a closure, it wasn't moving on but it was a thought that gave her enough strength to stop sobbing and form a proper thought in her mind, as she came up with the idea of the best way to honour her dead son, a memorial. She in no way was to believe that her baby boy was stuck being undead, lost to them and beyond anyones help, but something at the back of her mind still hoped that one day she'd get to see him again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

*) Happy Mother's Day, to all the amazing mums out there!!

*) Please go and read 'Dark hearts' by megamorr, its and amazing ongoing story!

Hello people, this was just a sudden impromptu update, I'd be lying if I say I didn't cry while writing this chapter, it had gotten too far personal, and I had gotten carried away.

The results of my exams are to be declared tomorrow and despite everything I'm nervous, distractions aren't helping and as usual when I'm nervous and anxious, I overthink and it leads to a meltdown, which has been channeled in here.

Wish me luck!

I'd love to hear from you, I'm open to all requests, suggestions and constructive criticisms.

Have an amazing time ahead!

-Katnipsc ;)