The next few days at the farm went well. Dean, after their cleansing night together, began his long journey towards self-image acceptance, Castiel by his side to guide him. As they always did, the boys fell into a routine of getting up, working on the chicken coop, doing various chores, having a hot meal together, and finally climbing into bed to enjoy each other's close presence for the six hours they fell into sleep. To Castiel and Dean, it was as close to perfect they had ever been.
The feeling of contentment didn't leave Dean the next Sunday morning, even as the sun beat down upon him when he took Sunshine to her grazing pasture. "You be a good girl, ya hear?" He said lightly, patting her rump to urge her on into the abundantly grassy field.
It was interesting, Dean thought, the way his land had transformed before him in the past year. It didn't change much physically, in fact it was almost the same as when he arrived to stake his claim. No, instead, he had gained a different perspective of the world around him, of his world, which mainly did consist of the farm. When Castiel arrived months before, Dean viewed his land as a tool to produce what he needed, and looked at it in a pessimistic light. How could he not, for the land he was working so hard was not producing as much product as he needed, and yet it remained, taunting, consistently large and indebting despite his every effort.
However, after Castiel's arrival, when Dean was given help, he found he could focus on the land, and in this focus produced as much product, more, even, as he had dreamed of in years previous. And now, green eyes sweeping across the tall, waving grass on the horizon, Dean viewed his land as beautiful. For the first time in years, he looked upon his property, and could finally breathe a sigh of relief, could finally whole-heartedly agree with the statement Castiel had made the first time he had come to the farm: it was beautiful.
Turning from his introspection at the thought of Castiel, Dean looked up to the sun, which was getting brighter and higher in the sky each passing minute. He had told Castiel he would be gone an hour at most, but it had been nearly two with his meandering contemplation. Cursing softly under his breath, as he had planned to arrive back in time to begin the finishing of the roof on the chicken house, Dean turned and headed back down the path to the cabin.
"Cas?" He called, ducking into the coolness of his home for a moment. Finding the blue-eyed man absent, Dean made his way out the back door out to the chicken coop, something heavy, like guilt, churning in his stomach. Knowing Castiel, he had probably began the work without him, and it wasn't fair to him. As if to confirm his suspicions the instant he thought them, Castiel rounded the corner of the coop- the now completed coop- and smiled brightly.
"Did ya call for me?" Dean looked to Castiel, eyes wide with disbelief. "Cas," he began, ignoring the previous question as he took in the perfect roofing job, "did ya finish this?" He asked lamely. The answer was obvious, as it was directly in front of him, but he had never expected the other man to do so much in such little time.
Castiel flushed slightly, shrugging uncharacteristically as discomfort crept up in him at Dean's shocked expression. "Yeah," he replied, smiling softly, "you were busy takin' care of the chores and there wasn't much else needin' to be done, so I just went ahead and finished it.".
Dean, silently, brushed softly by Castiel and crossed to the coop to inspect the new roof, which, he discovered with a welling sense of gratefulness, was perfect. "Cas," he said, turning as a smile broke over his features, "this is amazin'." Castiel flushed again under the compliment, looking to the job he'd just completed. "It's got its flaws," he admitted, ever humble in his words.
Dean was strangely taken aback by the statement and shook his head, stepping forward to take the other man's hand in his own. "It's perfect," he murmured, thumb rubbing over the dusty, calloused palm under his. Castiel felt his chest tighten at the simple, meaningful words and instantly moved forward to wrap his arms around the farmer, burying his face in the warm, stubble flecked crook of his neck. "I just wanna do right by you," he admitted.
Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel and pulled him as close as he could, the simple hug a gesture he would never take for granted, as it never failed to remind him of how much the other man meant to him. "You always have," he answered, pressing an awkwardly angled kiss to Castiel's temple. Pulling back after a moment, Dean glanced back to the now finished coop, unable to keep himself from smiling once more. "Really, Cas, thank ya. This is more than any man could ask for."
"You're welcome." Castiel replied simply, ignoring an irritation in his thumb as he packed up the tools. "Do ya still want to go to town today?" Dean nodded, leaning to help Castiel clear up. "Yeah, I'm thinkin' we can pick up the supplies to fix the side of the cabin. Shouldn't take more than a day or two of work, it's a pretty simple job." "Alright, that's fine." Castiel answered, content with anything Dean needed or wanted to do as he always had been. "Do ya want me to pack a dinner for us?"
Dean thought for a moment, slinging the tool bag over his good shoulder. "Yeah, that would be good," he affirmed. "I'll go put these away and hitch up the wagon. Meet ya out in the barn?" Castiel, in turn, nodded, stepping forward on an impulse to give Dean a soft, chaste kiss. "Don't trouble yourself too much with that wagon."
Dean smiled, savoring the lingering feeling Castiel's lips left on his. "I'll be fine, don't worry about it," he replied, watching Castiel walk towards the house for a few seconds before turning to complete his own task. He was slightly wary about going into town, due to his now absent arm his friends had yet to glance upon, but with the events of the previous night, he felt himself fighting back the self-piteous, frightened thoughts. He was different, and that was alright, because Castiel found his difference beautiful.
Comfort spreading through his chest as the warm bloom of alcohol would, Dean set about hitching up the horses to the wagon. It took longer, now, with only one arm to do it with, but he still got the task completed, just as Castiel entered back into the barn.
"Did ya have any trouble?" Castiel asked, not to infantilize Dean, but to kindly ensure he wasn't having trouble that may cause him to once again beat himself down over. Dean, at the open tone of Castiel's words that conveyed his meaning, nodded. "Nah, Dan decided to cooperate today," he joked, saying in his own way 'yes'.
Castiel, used to Dean's personality and how he answered serious questions, felt a smile flit over his lips and crossed the barn to the wagon, setting their lunch inside before climbing up, the farmer not far behind. Soon, they were jostling away from the farm for the first time in months, finally able to do so without snow and ice to hinder their way. Breathing in the fresh, salubrious air around him, Castiel settled back in the seat, placing a hand on Dean's knee in place of holding his hand, as it was absent on this side.
Dean smiled at Castiel's hand on his knee, curiously noticing the slight flush of warmth that went through him at the simple brush of fingers. Shrugging it off, he turned to look at Castiel, who had his head leaned back onto the wooden bench seat, blue eyes closed, lips parted in an almost-smile that proved endearing. And suddenly, green eyes fixed on the other man's face, it hit Dean: he loved him. It wasn't as if he hadn't already known or acknowledged this, it was simply one of those inevitable times when one suddenly became self-aware, suddenly realized everything they were in one breath. And Dean, Dean loved Castiel, loved him softly yet fiercely, slowly yet quickly and in that moment, jostling to town, slightly dusty air swirling around them, he knew in his heart he would never stop loving him.
Suddenly feeling the need to express just this, Dean smiled at Castiel. "I love ya," he said simply, the three words alone not adequate enough to convey what he was just feeling. However, in the heavy, meaningful tone he used, they suddenly said everything he needed them to.
Castiel, at the sudden words, cracked an eye open to peek over at Dean, a smile stretching his lightly chapped lips. "I love ya, too," he replied, feeling something in the air that wasn't previously there, a meaning, a bonding that held an intensity he had never felt before. "I really do," he added, sitting up to press a soft kiss to Dean's cheek.
Both the men wished the moment longer, but knew that once they crossed out of the farm's property line, they were in open, dangerous territory, territory in which their lives were in danger should they so much as embrace each other. So, they shifted to sit on their respective sides of the wagon the rest of the ride, a somewhat sad acceptance filling the warm air between them as they entered into town.
"I'm gonna go negotiate prices for the lumber." Dean informed, hopping out of the wagon after Castiel, who was tying the horses to a post. Castiel nodded, cinching the knot in the reigns before turning fully to Dean. "Do ya need any help?" Dean shook his head, pointedly ignoring an open, gaping stare he was receiving from a woman across the walk. "I'll be fine, you can go do shoppin' if ya need to, there are men workin' at the lumber yard who'll help me load up the wagon." "That sounds fine. Meet ya back here in forty?" Castiel asked, only turning to leave after Dean gave him an affirmative nod.
Walking down the now familiar town, Castiel looked around to the different shops, wondering what he could do with the money he'd brought. He had quite a bit of money now from last year's harvest, as he hadn't spent it on a trip back East. A few days before, he set aside half of it into savings, not wanting to get caught in a situation mirroring the desperate one he'd had with Dean the past year. The other half, he currently had sitting in his jean pocket, ready to be spent. On what exactly, he wasn't quite sure.
Spotting the telegraph office, he suddenly realized his need to send another telegram back home to inform his friends and family of his plan to stay, and entered the office for a second time. The process didn't take long and soon, Castiel found himself back outside, short only a few pennies. He considered for a moment heading back to the wagon to help load up the lumber, but soon snuffed out the idea when his gaze fell upon a building at the end of the small stretch of town that read Campbell and Co Livery and Livestock Sale. Suddenly unable to get an idea out of his head, Castiel headed into the large shop.
The negotiations on lumber prices had gone well and Dean ended up getting twice the amount of lumber he needed for only half the price. With a sense of satisfaction that was only dampened slightly by everyone's stares at his absent arm, the farmer soon had his purchase loaded up and ready to go in the wagon, leaving only the task of finding Castiel. Slightly puzzled as to why the other man hadn't met him yet, Dean wiped at his brow and looked around, spotting the blue-eyed man after a moment. However, instead of having his arms full of paper wrapped parcels, Castiel's arms appeared to be full of some sort of cages.
Castiel, at the sight of Dean over a slightly foul-smelling cage, smiled, reaching the farmer in a short minute. "Hello, Dean," he greeted, anticipation thrumming through him at the big reveal of his purchase.
Once Castiel had set the cages down on the ground, Dean finally was able to gain a closer look, his chest constricting instantly at the sight: there before him sat five fat, healthy looking hens and one cocky-looking rooster. "Cas..." Dean breathed in disbelief. "How did ya manage this?" Castiel flushed and smiled happily, gesturing to the store he had come from. "I had extra money from when I saved up for my trip and figured it would be a nice thing to do for ya, since ya seemed pretty down about the other chickens."
Dean, the action affecting him far more than he would have expected, suddenly stepped forward without thinking and grabbed Castiel's hand. "Thank ya," he murmured, caught up in the moment. However, a mere second later his mind caught up with his body and he wrenched his hand back as if burned, quickly looking around to see if anyone had noticed.
Castiel, at Dean's sudden action, felt comfort as well, comfort that lasted mere seconds before his heart dropped into his stomach when he realized what they had just done. Nearly mirroring Dean, he, too, looked around, blue eyes wide with panic that someone had seen.
Thankfully for the two, there were only a few people out about the town in that particular moment, none who were paying attention to them. Castiel, seeing this, cleared his throat and loaded up the chickens quickly, his hands not ceasing in shaking until they both were back up on the wagon, heading back towards the farm.
"Cas, look," Dean sighed, regret and apology ingrained into his every syllable, "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinkin' and it just meant so much what ya did. No one's ever done somethin' that nice for me.". Castiel turned to offer Dean a shaky smile, pushing away his slight anger in understanding now where the farmer was coming from. "It's alright," he replied without hesitation. "I'm just happy to know we're safe and that ya liked it.".
Dean, reflecting on how Castiel never ceased his kind, understanding manner, felt relief flood through him. Relief, that no one had noticed, relief that they still had that short moment to cherish. And in this relief, Dean felt adoration well in his chest once more, knowing now more than ever Castiel would never hurt him. For the first time in a long time, Dean found he held complete trust in someone.
It felt as if the world had been lifted from his shoulders.