"Jack," Bobby whispered, shaking me awake. "It's time to go home."
"No, stay with Paul." I mumbled tiredly.
"No kid we need to go." Bobby said.
"I don't mind." I heard Paul say.
"I can't Paul," Bobby growled "I'm no charity case."
"I never said you were." Paul said gripping Bobby's shoulder. "But it's along way back. You're tired and you've been drinking. I can set you up in a guest room."
"No, were going home." Bobby said trying to pick me up. I curled towards him and could smell the liquor.
"Bobby! God you're so fucking stubborn. At least let me drive you home."
"No Paul!" Bobby snarled. "I don't need your fucking help!"
"Bobby! Stop!" Paul yelled. I curled away from Bobby and covered my ears. Bobby turned around and swung at Paul. Paul hit the ground groaning.
"No!" I screamed. "Stop it, please!" Bobby turned to grabbing me, picking me up and taking me out of the room. "Put me down! Let go!" I screamed, kicking and punching. The next thing I knew I was under Bobby and Paul.
"Bobby, you let him go!" Bobby did but only to swing at Paul again.
"You think I'm stupid!" Bobby roared. "You don't think I see the way you look at him? I know what you're trying to do with him you sick son of a bitch!"
"Bobby you're drunk and your scaring Jack." Paul replied calmly. I backed up into the corner covering my ears in preparation of Bobby's next outburst.
"Don't try to turn this around on me!" Bobby yelled. "Don't you fucking dare try to make me look like the bad guy!"
"You're acting like one!"
"You're trying to get in my baby brothers pants."
"Oh, piss off Bobby!" Paul yelled.
"You don't deny it?"
"Bobby,"
"No, I talked to one of your maids." Bobby said still yelling. "I trusted you Paul. I trusted you." Bobby's voice broke at the end of his sentence.
"Bobby lets go have a drink and let Jack sleep."
"No! Give me one reason I shouldn't light your ass on fire."
"No!" I screamed. I ran over to Bobby pounding on his chest with my fists. Bobby grabbed my wrists.
"I promised to protect you." Bobby cried, "He deserves the same as that other guy!"
"Dave hurt me! Paul never hurt me!" I screamed struggling against him.
"I've told you before Jack." Bobby said calmly. "It's not natural, it's not right."
"I don't care!" I yelled pulling away from him. Bobby squeezed tighter. I could feel the bruise building under his hands making me cry out.
"Bobby let go!" Paul yelled coming towards us. Bobby held tighter pulling me close. I cried out again. Paul punched Bobby, pulling me away from him. "Jack, go to my bedroom and lock the door okay? I'll try to get Bobby to calm down" I nodded and raced to the room. I locked the door and sat on the bed rubbing my wrists. I could still hear Bobby yelling.
"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" Bobby screamed. "I can't believe this! You're trying to hurt him?"
"No, I never hurt Jack. We had sex." Paul replied.
"That's sick you raped him!" Bobby yelled
"No I didn't, we had,"
"That is rape no matter how you fucking look at it. Jack is 14 how could you do that?"
"Jack's a whore Bobby. I've seen boys like him before. He needs this, he wants it." I heard Bobby his Paul.
"Don't you fucking talk about my brother like that! Don't you fucking dare! You're fucking sick! Jack is not a whore. He is a confused teenager that you are trying to corrupt."
"I don't hear Jack complaining." Paul replied. "In fact last time I checked he wanted it. He screamed and begged for it. Besides wasn't this fight started with Jack not wanting to go with you?"
"I should kill you! I should hang you upside down, slice you open, letting you guts fall out, and let you die slowly." Bobby's voice grew with each word, then he got quiet. "But jack wouldn't forgive me for that. God fucking help me though, the fucking minute Jack forgets about you, expect a visit from me. One you wont walk away from." I heard Bobby walk over to the door.
"Jack, please open the door. We need to go home. Ma's still waiting for a phone call from you. She's really worried."
"Go away!" I screamed. I knew it was ending. Bobby was going to get his way and I was going to have to go with him.
"Jackie, please come out sweetheart." Bobby pleaded
"Let me try." I heard Paul's voice. "Jack can I come in?" I got up and opened the door for Paul. Paul closed the door and locked it. I jumped up and kissed him. He kissed me back holding me tightly.
"You have to go before he burns the house down." Paul said. Then he whispered "You still have that number?" I nodded. "Good call him ok?" I nodded and kissed him again. "We will see each other again." Paul led me to the door. When we got to the hallway Bobby came towards me but I just stormed passed him. I got in the car and waited for Bobby. Bobby came out followed by Paul. Bobby got in the car ready to leave. Paul opened my door handing me a brown bag.
"For your trip." He explained before turning around and leaving. Bobby pulled away from the curb and drove home in a hurry. When we got home I tried to jump from the car but Bobby stopped me by grabbing my arm tightly.
"What's in the bag?"
"None of your business." I replied before ripping my arm out of his grasp. I stormed into the house and went straight to my room. I locked the door and laid down on my bed. Bobby was right on my heels.
"Jack, open this door!" Bobby yelled.
"Fuck you!" I screamed. "You think you can just walk in here and fuck up my life? I hate you!" Bobby was silent for a while. I had thought he had left when he said,
"Jack, I know it hurts now, but I'm your big brother and I'm telling you that man is trying to hurt you."
"Shut up!" I screeched. "You're the only one who is hurting me so fuck off! I don't ever want to see your stupid face again."
"Sweetheart, your 14 you don't understand."
"Stop it, I'm done listening, just go away." I sobbed.
"Jack please don't cry." I rolled over on my bed pressing my face to the pillow, crying. I cried myself out until I fell asleep.
I woke the next morning with a headache worse than death, and a raw throat. I sat up in bed and looked around. All my stuff was packed up. I figured either Angel or Bobby did it yesterday. I got up and knocked something over. I looked down and found the bag Paul had given me yesterday. I opened it up and gasped. Inside were some books and movies I guessed were porn, some lube, a black dildo, and a butt plug. I snuck the two toys into my traveling case along with two books and the lube. The rest went in my suitcase. I hid the brown bag under my bed and left the room. When I opened my door I saw Bobby lying on the floor. I began to panic thinking something bad had happened. I knelt down next to him, my heart pounding with every movement.
"Bobby?" He opened his eyes and looked up at me. I stopped myself from sighing in relief remembering that I was mad at him. "What are you doing?"
"I wanted to me close to you." He whispered brushing my hair out of my face. I stood and turned to leave.
"When are we heading out?" I asked not looking at him.
"Jack please forgive me." Bobby said sitting up. "I fucking let you down a million times. I can't feed you or keep a roof over your heat. Most of all I didn't keep you safe."
"Fuck you Bobby, I don't need your help." I growled walking away. Bobby didn't try to talk to me for the rest of the day. He and Angel loaded up the car and we were off. When we started driving I pulled out one of the books Paul had given me and started reading. The books were series of erotic fiction. The first one I read was about a boy being seduced by and older boy. One day the older boy sits next to the younger one on the bus and starts jacking off in front of him. The younger boy is confused but eventually starts jacking the older boy off. After a week or so the boy starts sucking the older boy's dick. The kids make fun of him but it just confuses him more. One day after all the kids had gotten off the bus the older boy pulled the younger kid into his lap making him ride him. The bus driver who had been watching the entire time pulled over and came back to join them. While the boy rode the older boy the bus driver made him suck his dick. Another one talking about a boy who liked to get peed on which kind of grossed me out. I read the storied and ended up jacking off as every rest stop.
Bobby didn't try to talk to me during the trip and I didn't try to talk to him. This made Angel feel awkward. He kept trying to get us to talk by starting a conversation with one and pulling the other into it. Every time he did that one or both of us would stop talking and ignore him. After about the 50th time Angel got pissed.
"What the fuck!" Angel yelled, we ignored him. "Jack, Bobby's an asshole but he loves you and only has your best interests at heart."
"Yeah right," I scoffed.
"You don't believe me?"
"I think that Bobby wants to control every aspect of my fucking life. He's the asshole who can't mind his own fucking business. He doesn't love me he just feels some sort of responsibility towards me. Or maybe he just lusts for me." I spat. Right after the words left my mouth, Bobby swerved through lanes and pulled over on the side of the road.
"Whoa, what the hell man?" Angel yelled. Bobby got out of the car and dragged me out too. He pulled us behind the car.
"Don't you ever fucking say that." Bobby yelled in my face.
"If it's not true then what's your interest in me?" I screamed back over the noise of cars passing.
"You're my brother! I love you and care about you!"
""Oh whatever, get off your high horse Bobby! You don't love me."
"No? Of course not, I take the time and money to take care of people I don't give a fuck about! I constantly lay my ass on the line for strangers I lust over! Because that makes a lot of fucking sense!"
"Bobby, Jacks gonna make mistakes. He's a kid and he's gonna say stuff he doesn't mean." Angel said.
"I know, but don't you ever fucking compare me to those sick fucks ever fucking again!" he growled.
"Fuck you! Your worse than them, you would do the same if you got the chance!" I screamed. My head snapped to the side and my cheek began to sting. Bobby had just slapped him. I looked back at his wide eye with my mine.
"Fuck you!" I screamed hitting him back. "Don't you ever fucking touch me! I hate you! I fucking hate you!"
"Jack, please, let's just get back into the car." Angel said trying to guide me to the car. I threw his arm off me.
"No, fuck you, just leave. I'll stay with Paul."
"No!" Bobby roared. "You are not staying with him. You are coming with us. Now you can either get in this car or ill knock you the fuck out and shove you in it." I glared at Bobby.
"Then do it. You can't make me hate you anymore than I already do." Bobby grabbed me around the waist and turned towards the car. I pushed my feet against the car and kicked back making both of us fall to the asphalt. I got up and tried to run, but Angel stopped me. He wrapped his arms around me trapping my arms between our bodies. I started kicking.
"Jack stop. I haven't hurt you so don't hurt me. I don't want to lose a brother. I love you Jack." I stopped kicking and looked up at him.
"You didn't use to." I said quietly.
"True, at first I was angry at you for taking my brother. But Jack, recently all you have done is watch my back. Now let me watch yours. Come on, lets get in the car, go home, and when we get there you can talk to Ma. Maybe she can help sort out all these feelings you're having." I stared up at Angel before laying my head on his chest. He loosened his grip on me and started rubbing my back. "Why don't you go get in the care? I'll get Bobby." I nodded and moved passed them to the car. I knocked all my stuff on the floor and laid down. I could here Angel and Bobby yelling.
"What the fuck?" Angel yelled. "Oh yeah Jack's pissed off let me slap him in the face. That's gonna do us some good. "
"I didn't mean to, fuck! How did this happen?"
"I don't know you tell me, Bobby. He didn't hate you yesterday morning."
"No he got mad after I told him he we were leaving. He went tot school to talk to Mitchie and had another break down. I asked Paul to go pick him up. I went to the house to talk to Paul. I needed to run some errands and needed to see if he would stay with Jack a little longer. I was talking to Paul and Jack was taking a shower which I thought was off because he took one that morning. I tried to pass it off as him cooling off from his second episode but that when I noticed Paul reeked of sex. Suddenly my suspicions didn't seem so absurd. I just kept telling myself that Paul would never do that and if he did Jack would tell me. The whole thing bugged me all day. Then when I went back to the house I found a note saying they had gone to Paul's house it had directions. I went to the house and was greeting by a maid who offered me a drink. She told me everything she saw go on between them. Paul was raping Jack right under my nose. I started drinking hard planning what I should do. I decided on trying to take Jack and leave not wanting to start a scene. It turned into a huge fight anyways and here we are." Bobby sighed heavily.
"So this is all about Paul?"
"Yup, I thought at first he was mad about me talking him from Mitchie but no this is all about Paul."
"Then stop badmouthing Paul!"
"What?"
"Look, Jack apparently likes this guy. So tell him you're sorry for taking him away from Paul!"
"But,"
"No, apologize. Let Ma handle it. You are just pissing him off. I'll drive, you apologize."
"The hell you're driving."
"Shut up, you need to talk to Jack and you cant multi task.: Angel finished. He moved towards the front of the car.
"Do you even have a license?"
"No Bobby, I'm that dumb." Angel got in the car and looked over at me. "Hey kiddo, you ready to hit the road again?" I nodded as Bobby opened the backseat door. I moved to the other side of the car as Bobby got in. Angel started driving again as Bobby and I stared at each other.
"Jack,"
"Shut up." I spat.
"Look, I'm sorry."
"I heard you guys out there and I'm not dumb your just saying shit." I turned and stared out the window moodily.
"Fine," Bobby said, "I won't lie and I'm not sorry. I'm sorry for hitting you and for yelling but my actions towards Paul are not wrong. I'm your brother and I'm always gonna be in your business." I ignored him watching the guard rails run together looking like a train. I didn't know why I said what I had said to Bobby. I knew he wasn't like those guys and I knew he cared for me I even knew Paul was wrong. I guessed in a way I felt like I had hit a weak spot on Bobby. It was new for me he had hit my soft spot from day one telling me I was disgusting but I could never find one for Bobby. Truthfully I was kind of upset I'd found it and that I had pushed it so hard. I wanted nothing more than for Bobby to make up with me but I couldn't I wanted to be mad. I wasn't sure why but I knew it would come to me eventually.
Bobby and I didn't talk for the rest of the ride, and we alternated so we were almost always never together. As impossible as that would seem in a car. When Angel was awake and driving I was up front with him and Bobby was in back sleeping. When Bobby was awake and driving I was in back reading knowing that if he caught me it would piss him off. And when Angel wanted to sleep in the back I sat next to Bobby while we completely ignored each other. The ride was long and silent, Angel even fell into the silence. We only stopped to eat and pee. We made it back a lot quicker than Bobby and I when we had left for Colorado. When we reached home I jumped from the car stretching.
"Get your bags and go inside." Bobby said not looking at me. I grabbed my bags and walked inside. I was instantly greeted by Ma.
"Oh Jackie, I've missed you so much." I smiled hugging back while inhaling her scent.
"I missed you too." She smiled patting my cheek.
"Go on upstairs and unpack, when your done dinner will be ready." I nodded and moved up the stairs. I heard Ma welcoming Angel and Bobby.
"Oh Angel, shame on you!"
"I'm sorry Ma," I heard Angel say; "I didn't mean to scare you.
"Just don't do it again sweetie." I listened to Angel move up the stairs and into his room.
"What's wrong Bobby?" Ma asked
"Jack." I heard them move to the living room. I moved to the stairs to listen better.
"What happened?" Ma asked.
"I don't know Ma," Bobby whispered, "He keeps telling me he hates me and that we're not brothers. I don't know how to keep him happy and safe."
"Bobby, he's a teenager, he's going to say some things he doesn't mean. If I remember correctly Angel once said the same things." I nodded in agreement to the 'not meaning it part' I suppose the reason I was made was because he just uprooted my life with no warning. I wanted to know why. I could feel another reason behind us leaving.
"This is different. I fucked up a con job for Angel. Jack acts like I ripped off his arm. God I don't even get it. How can he care for a monster like that?"
"He doesn't really, the man has just filled Jack's head with lies. He just needs a little help."
"Well it's your job now." Bobby growled. My blood turned to ice at that statement. I didn't know I had upset Bobby enough to leave me.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm done, Jack's yours now. He can pick that monster over you. I'm leaving." My heart stopped and my eyes watered.
"Leaving? Leaving where? Bobby you just got back."
"Hockey, my old coach got a new job for a pro team. He's got and empty spot and offered it to me." I could feel the anger rising in my body. So that's why my life was ripped out from under me? So Bobby could go play fucking hockey?
"So you're just leaving him?"
"He doesn't want me."
"He needs you!"
"No, he needs you, Ma." I stood not wanting to listen anymore but I knew I would have heard the last line even if I had been in my bedroom with the door closed.
"Bobby, don't you walk out on that boy!" Bobby just stormed out the door. I went back to my room quietly and closed the door. I started unpacking. As I started I began thinking about what Bobby said. After everything we'd been though he was willing to turn around and leave. I could feel a dull ache in my chest. I mean for all the people I'd just left, Bobby walking away from me hurt the most. Tears began to blur my vision. I would not cry over Bobby. If he didn't want me I wasn't gonna care. I would just not want him either then he could cry over me not wanting him. Stupid Bobby. The ache in my chest throbbed harder.
"Screw him," I said. "I don't need him." But even as I said it I knew it wasn't true. I ignored the ache and went back to unpacking. I was half done when I heard a knock at my door.
"Who is it?" I asked
"Me," Ma said from the other side. I walked over and opened the door for her. "Hi Jackie."
:Hey," I said moving back to unpack.
"Sweetie, can we talk?" I nodded and sat next to her on the bed.
"Can you tell me why you didn't tell Bobby Paul was hurting you?"
"Because he doesn't hurt me, we have sex."
"Jack, your 14, he's a lot older than you and that is still rape."
"Rape is forced!"
"Statutory rape is having sex with minors which you still are. So? It's still rape and it's still against the law."
"I don't care."
"Why not?"
"Paul cares about me."
"No, Bobby, Angel, Jerry, and I care about you. Paul is using you."
"Stop it! He isn't using me, he make me feel better. He makes that pain go away."
"What pain?"
"Pain in my head. Paul had sex with me and I felt better."
"You mean from when you get stressed out?"
"Yes, Paul made it go away."
"Jack, sex is a great stress reliever, but Paul was taking advantage of you in your time of need."
"No Paul says whores have to have sex or that will happen."
"I don't see what that has to do with you."
"I'm a…"
"Don't you say that Jackie, or I will wash your mouth out with soap."
"But I am everybody sees it."
"No, you stop that, you're not a whore and you don't need sex to feel better. The next time you have an episode ill bet I can make you feel better." Ma started looking around the room. She spotted the guitar Mitchie bought me. "What's that?"
"Guitar."
"Where did you get it?"
"Mitchie."
"That was really sweet of him, have you played it?"
"Not yet."
"Why not?"
"Haven't had time." I said shrugging.
"Well try to make time, music is a great release." I nodded and we were silent.
"I made Bobby sad huh?"
"I won't lie to you Jack, you upset him. When you use harsh words you do that to people."
"He's leaving because of me?"
"No, Bobby is leaving because of Bobby."
"Your lying." I said turning from her. "Bobby doesn't like me."
"Why do you think that?"
"He keeps saying I'm wrong and unnatural."
"No, he didn't. He said what you were doing with Paul was wrong."
"I don't agree, besides Bobby hit me."
"He lost his temper. Bobby does that sometimes. He was angry at Paul and then you tried to compare him to a man he found out hurt you."
"Paul didn't hurt me."
"Yes he did, inside your head."
"You're wrong."
"Maybe, but don't count on it." With that she got up and left. When I finished unpacking I went down stairs and grabbed the phone and ran back to my room. I dialed the number Paul gave me.
"Yo." I guessed it was Emanuel's voice.
"Hi, um my name is Jack. A friend, Paul, gave me your number."
"You're Paul's boy, yeah he called me about you. Can you come meet me tonight?"
"I can try, where do I go?" Emanuel said he could come and get me at eight. When I hung up the phone I opened my door to go downstairs. Bobby was blocking my way.
"Can we talk?"
"No," I said trying to move past him. I was boiling with anger at the whole hockey situation and I didn't want to hear anything from him.
"Jack please,"
"You're leaving, why should I give a rat's ass what you have to say." Bobby's eyes widened in shock.
"You heard me and Ma talking?" he asked. I could tell he knew my answer from the glare I was sending him. "I thought you hated me anyways."
"I was angry! Did you mean to slap me?"
"No, of course not…"
"Exactly, but your ditching out on me so whatever just move."
"No we need to talk" Bobby said firmly
"No, your leaving me, I don't give a fuck as to what you want."
"You said you didn't want to see my face again."
"I didn't mean it I was angry!"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes, sometimes people make mistakes and say things they don't mean. You've done it to me I'm sure and I never walked out on you."
"You tried to stay with Paul,"
"Yeah, well you were able to stop me. I can't stop you from leaving can I?"
"I…no, I signed a contract already."
"Great, well bye Bobby don't come back k?"
"Jack, I am sick and fucking tired of your attitude. I decide to leave because you want me gone and now I'm leaving and you want me to stay?"
"There is no way that with in the time that you told me we were leaving and we started fighting to this moment right now that you got a slot on a team and signed a contract. You were planning on leaving along time ago. So please shut the fuck up and move." Bobby stared at me for a while.
"I don't get it, cant I ever fucking please you?"
"Guess not," I replied shoving passed him. I walked down to the kitchen.
"Hey, sweetie, ready to eat?" Ma asked. I nodded. "Well get the table set for me. Then go get your brothers."
"Mmk," I said. I set the table then walked up to Angel's room. I knocked on the door.
"Yeah?" Angel panted.
"Dinner's ready."
"K be there in a minute."
"Alright," I replied moving away from the door when I heard a girl moan. I walked down to Bobby's room. I knocked on the door.
"Yeah?"
"Bobby, its time for dinner." I said. I heard him move and open the door.
"Jack," I turned to leave him when he swung me around and hugged me. "You're right, when the bills became too much I planned on leaving you here with Ma, and going to play hockey. Hockey is my dream Jack. Plus the money I'll make, maybe we could try this whole 'you living with me' thing again when my contracts done."
"No," I replied. "I don't want to live with you again. When were you going to tell me? Is this the real reason you made me drop everything and run? So you could play hockey?"
"I…you're right and that wasn't fair. But I made a mistake just like you."
"Yeah and you weren't going to forgive me, why should I forgive you!"
"Are you trying to piss me off?"
"Guess so,"
"Jack please, I don't want to leave on bad terms."
"Then don't leave." I replied walking back to the kitchen. Dinner was uneventful. I was desperate to get away and meet Emanuel. Bobby stared at me the entire time. Angel scarfed down his food and mom just smiled at everything. When dinner was finished I excused myself to my room. I grabbed a backpack and threw and extra pair of clothes in it just in case. I walked down the stairs and out the door.
"Jack, where are you going?" I heard Bobby ask as I walked out the door.
"None of your business."
"Get your ass back in here."
"No you stay and I'll go. Tomorrow I'll stay and you can go. I happen to like this idea. Then you can leave on no terms, like our relationship never existed."
"Jack, why are you acting like this? What happened to I take care of you? What happened to having each others backs?"
"Yeah well I kinda feel like you stabbed me in the back so forgive me for not wanting to lean on you so quickly."
"I love you and I always will but I am not going to sit here and listen to this shit! I protected you and I didn't stab you in the back. I made way too many sacrifices for you to be talked to like this. Now get your ass to your room before I kick it."
"Well start kicking because im done listing to your shit. I'm either walking out of this door or your dragging me kicking and screaming back up the stairs to my room."
"Don't tempt me," Bobby growled.
"God, why can't you just piss off?"
"Because I don't want you going where you're heading."
"To hang with friends?"
"No, the streets, I tried to protect you by taking you away from them but I feel like because you're mad at me you'll start doing something stupid like drugs. Then I'll be coming home for your funeral."
"Then it will be your fault." I only felt half bad when Bobby flinched from me like I'd punched him. I didn't know where this anger came from or why I wanted to hurt him so bad but I did. "You're supposed to protect me. Who is gonna protect me when your gone?"
"You have two other brothers."
"Oh, good, well now I know."I turned and jumped off the porch as a car pulled up.
"Jack get back here." Bobby yelled running after me. Someone inside the car opened the door and I jumped right in. The car pulled away from the curb a little too quickly and made a screeching sound. I looked back and saw Bobby standing in the middle of the street.
"Hey I remember you," the guy next to me said.
"Huh?" I asked looking back at him. I could barley make out his features in the dark.
"Yeah you're that kid Kris took in, the one who drank that five way. We had sex in the bathroom stall." My eyes widened as I looked back at him.
"Oh yeah," I replied looking out the window.
"So, how have you been kid?"
"Um, fine you?" I didn't want to seem rude but this guy was weirder than I remembered.
"Eh same." He kept up mindless chatter until we reached the same warehouse as before.
"No one is here right now, there's a big party down at Tyree's place. So let's go in." We got out of the car and he held my hand as we walked into the building. I was beginning to get the feeling he though this was more like a date than a one night stand. HE treated me more like a love than a whore. When we entered the building I looked around some. It was the same as I remembered really. Mattresses still littered the ground along with beer bottles and cigarette butts. Emmanuel led me to a mattress. He laid me down with him on top and started kissing me.
"You want something to drink?" I nodded and he got up. He lit him self a cigarette and grabbed two bottles of beer. He came back sitting down next to me, handing me a beer. I took a sip and scrunched my nose up at the taste. Emanuel laughed.
"Sorry kid, its all we've got." He passed me his cigarette. "Wanna hit it?" I took it. As I breathed in the smoke it burned my lungs some, but it wasn't painful just new. He let me keep it and lit another on for himself. While I was smoking I noticed a tinge in my brain. It was like a really good feeling, I just felt happy. I started giggling and Emanuel laughed.
"You're adorable." I looked over at him. "What are you doing here Jack?"
"Sex,"
"Why? You're the white boy who stays in school and tries to please everyone. You're the kid who tries his hardest. You're a good kid Jack. So why are you here letting me corrupt you?"
"I'm a whore; Paul says you can use me."
"No, I've seen a lot of whores in my life and you aren't one of them."
"Yes I am! Want me to show you?"
"Go ahead." I got on my knees and opened his fly. I pulled out his dick and start sucking him.
"So you give good head, doesn't mean you're a whore. You might be gay. I wouldn't be surprised and with that mouth you'll make that one special guy happy."
"Want to fuck me? I'm good at that too."
"No Jack, what you need is to stay away from people who are filling your head with shit." He put his dick back in his pants.
"No, Paul said you would help."
"Paul is a sick bastard. You got a family?"
"No not really,"
"What do you mean?"
"I live with people but they will never be my real family."
"Jack, what do you think family is?"
"Family is blood."
"Not always this is my family, Jamal, Tyrees, and Krissy, that's my family. Not blood as you can tell, but there more of a family than my relatives. Family comes to you from the most unexpected places. Maybe the Mercers are your family and maybe you'll end up like me. Either way there is a family out there waiting for you. I think Bobby is going to be a part of whatever family you end up in. He loves you Jack."
"No I made him sad and now he's leaving."
"Bobby can't live with his momma forever Jack. He needs to get out into the world and try to make a name for himself."
"Why can't I go with him?"
"Bobby doesn't know how to treat or act around you half the time. Mostly he's lost as to what to do. I'm guessing when he took you with him he didn't end up spending much time with you. Always working and all that mess. When you guys got close again he must have had trouble connecting. Before it was easy, when you get close it gets harder. He loves you Jack and you should know that he has always had trouble expressing it. That's how Bobby is I doubt that will ever change but you are his brother and in Bobby's eyes you are the most important thing on this planet. Just like the rest of his family. He cares for you , blood or not Jack. Look at how much Bobby loves Ms. Mercer and she's not blood but she is his momma." I had this sinking feeling that Emanuel knew Bobby.
"It's not the same." I debated.
"Why not?"
"He hurts me, he took me from Paul."
"Bobby protected you from a man who was out to hurt you. Besides people who loves you are gonna hurt you, not on purpose, but when it happens does it mean they love you any less? Can you think back to your real family Jack?"
"Sometimes,"
""Can you remember when you hurt someone in your family?" I thought for a little while and nodded.
"Once I stole from my dad because I was angry. I don't remember what it was but I broke it and it was really important to him."
"Was he hurt?"
"Yeah, he cried. It was the first time I'd ever seen him cry."
"Did you not love him any more?"
"No, it was an accident, I didn't mean to make him sad. I just… I don't know, but I still loved him and we forgave each other."
"Why can't you do that for Bobby."
"Bobby, wont do it for me he keeps trying to make me feel bad about him leaving like it's my fault. I'm not saying it isn't but he doesn't have to keep talking like that."
"Bobby will forgive you; he's just using that shit as an excuse."
"How do you know?"
"Because I talked to him. I tried to call you back to tell you I'd be running a little late, but Bobby answered. The minute I found out who you were I knew I needed to figure out why golden boy Mercer was trying to get with me. Then Bobby told me everything that happened. I figure I could try talking to you."
"So Bobby isn't mad?"
"Nope, he's just scared for you. Paul sends me boys like you all the time. Paul doesn't love or care about you Jack, he probably has a new you already.
"But Bobby's leaving me, who's gonna watch out for me?"
"Bobby would never just leave you like that. He's got people watching." Emanuel winked at me. "Plus you got Angel at your back. You're gonna be just fine kid."
"I should probably apologize huh?"
"He's outside when you're ready."
"What?"
"I told him where we were going, he agreed to let me talk to you." Emanuel stood up, pulling me with him. Then he nudged me towards the exit.
"Go on kid,"
"Am I gonna see you again?"
"I'll stick around, see how you adjust. But I'll be watching you Jack. Think of me as Santa only blacker and hotter."
"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that." I took a deep breath, "You sure he isn't mad?"
"He's sad, he doesn't want to leave you Jack but he also wants to do what he wants. One day you gonna leave someone you love to pursue something you love."
A/N: I don't know why I said I was gonna name the next story Mitchie I just remembered the kid he's in love with was named Mitchie so I'm thinking of calling the soon to be youngest brother Mira it sounds like a girl name though but he is suppose to be cute I was also thinking of Spencer or Cillian. Let me know what you think please it will help speed the process of the stories if I know what you guys think.