26. Say Something

"You may open your eyes now, Rochelle."

I didn't want to open my eyes. I wanted to keep them closed—to experience all of the helplessness and weakness Poona felt so that I could never doubt her again. For months, I had been moping and thinking she didn't want me, but in reality she had been suffering. She had wanted to protect me because she truly believed that Furor would come and kill me. She had wanted to return, but she'd been unable to out of the fear she would disappoint or hurt me in the process.

I finally opened my eyes. Tears embarrassingly came out, as if my eyelids had been a dam. I rubbed at my face furiously, making sure no more were seen. I kept doing it until my face was completely dry. After today, I promised myself I wouldn't cry again. This was getting ridiculous. I had a reputation, for crying out loud.

My body felt very slack. For a moment I forgot it was my own and expected to see a paw when I lifted my hand. Meredith stood several feet away, talking quietly to her chikorita, who was glancing over at me and Poona curiously, the long leaf atop her green head angled like a raised eyebrow. Poona remained on my lap, digging her paws into her eyes to avoid being seen. I wondered if she still believed that if she covered her eyes no one could see her anymore.

"N-now you know," she whimpered shakily, her face hidden.

I should have comforted her. I should have promised her a lifetime supply of berries. I should have done a funny dance and spun her around to do one with me.

Instead, the first words out of my mouth were, "I'm going to kill him, rip off his furry-ass hide, and turn it into a carpet so I can step over his nasty-ass face and never vacuum him so that he's as dirty as his grimy, punk-ass soul."

Poona lifted her face with the quickness of a rubber band snapping, meeting me with huge tear-stained eyes.

"…Or maybe I'll just give him to a school for kids and say he's a stuffed animal. He's fluffy enough, right? They could probably use him as a ball, if they rolled him up…"

"You c-can't do that. You'll be j-just like h-him," she protested, shaking her head madly. Meredith watched Poona sadly, probably wishing she could understand what was going on.

I gathered Poona in my arms and squeezed her until my muscles felt sore. I felt Meredith's eyes on me, but I didn't even bother acknowledging her or sticking my tongue out. Right now she was just unwanted. It felt like she was an intrusion, a tumor on my space.

I looked over at Meredith pointedly to ward her off. She flinched and looked back down at her chikorita, Kayla-or-whatever-the-name-was.

Poona trembled slightly, not saying anything. I felt so stupid. After everything I had seen, I realized now that it had been my fault, yet that was something I couldn't admit out loud. If I tried, my tongue would have rolled itself up with a slimy sort of pride. Admitting something like that to my furret, whom I could tell anything, was too painful. Would she even accept anything I had to say at this point? Surely she would. She was acting as if everything had been her fault. And maybe she felt that it was—maybe she knew that she had made the wrong decision.

I straightened with a sudden determination. I could loosen my pride, couldn't I? I could apologize to her. I could tell her what she needed to hear right now and comfort her and make her feel better.

"So that pond looked deep enough to store dead bodies, right?" That was totally not what I meant to say.

Poona shook her head as if she had suddenly become the anti-bobble-head. "You can't go after him, Chelly. He'll hurt you."

"Yeah right. I could take him. I'd like to see him try scratching me with those tinyass paws. They're the size of pennies. He's a penny puncher. No way can he afford a piece of this fist," I said, curling my right hand and holding it up proudly, as if I had medals embedded in my knuckles.

Poona stared down at her paws again. "…You're not mad?"

"Does this look like a mad face?" I puckered my lips and squinted my eyes. I probably looked like a smoochum.

She glanced upward and giggled. "…Yes."

I pouted. "In what universe is this a mad face?"

"In this universe."

"I raised a smartass, didn't I?"

"Duh."

I was feeling a little giddy from our banter. It was as if nothing had happened—as if nothing had changed and Poona had always been in my life. Furor didn't exist. There wasn't a pokémon revolution. Meredith didn't own Poona.

As if remembering, I peered toward the young trainer, who had been gazing at me with hopeful eyes. When I looked at her, the hope that had been blossoming in her expression wilted, as if my gaze was the shade that had stolen her sunlight. She looked away guiltily, fumbling with her hands and gnawing on her lips until she had removed a layer of skin.

"Hey."

Her eyes met mine with obvious nervousness. "Y-yes, Rochelle?"

"Your lips are flaky and gross. It looks like they're waving to me. Get some chapstick…unless you're hoping the flaps will turn into wings or something. But really, that's nasty. They could be fish scales. Do I need to start calling you 'Fishlips'?"

She touched her left hand to her lips and flushed. "Oh, right. Yes. I'll go get some. Thank you." She picked her chikorita up and scampered to her feet, hurrying over to the counter of the pokémon center.

Before Poona could reprimand me, I turned to Keane. "So that teleportation thing you do. Can we do that now? And then could you go nest in Bilbo's hair?"

"Chelly, don't be mean to Meredith," Poona chided.

"Yeah, but she started it."

"Meredith saved Poona. Her ownership of Poona is upsetting, yes, but if she wasn't caught, she would have died. Would you have preferred the alternative?" Keane asked. It didn't sound biting, yet I felt as if he just pecked me.

Damn you, was the only thing I uttered in my head. He seemed to understand what I meant because he flew over to retrieve Meredith, who was actually purchasing chapstick.

"Please be nice to her," Poona pleaded, as she hopped out of my lap onto the floor. "She's been so nice to me."

I sighed irritably. "Yeah, Poona, I know….but she has a funny face. She was probably raised by clowns. Life lesson: Always shun clowns. They don't deserve love."

"Chelly…"

"Her presence exacerbates you." Corwin stepped in front of me with Galilei. He still looked so frail and skeletal without his jacket, his joints poking against his clothes with the threat of breaking out of his skin. "Do you ordinarily possess a disdain for clowns or only for those who you regard as a cruel joke? I must say the situation is rather risible. The possession of your pokémon seems to invite unbelievable aggression from you. And whenever you regard her as your own, the fur appears like a warning. Could that be considered merciful, I wonder?"

He was staring at me as if I was about to combust, though there was a sharp glint in his eye that told me he wanted that to happen. It was as if he wanted me to explode into a puffball until there was nothing human left about me.

I paused. Did he want me to? Now that I thought about it, it was weird that he had lent me Wright to reach Poona. The fact he wanted to help me at all had been weird…

I scowled so deeply that it felt as if I had forced a bunch of wrinkles onto my skin. I probably added twenty years to my face by doing so. "You're a sick bastard. That's why you helped me. You just wanted to see what would happen. I'm just a plaything to you."

Corwin's half-smile was unwavering. "I'm curious regarding the extent of its growth. What initially sets it off? Is it merely your declaration of ownership or is it something more?" He stepped so closely to me that I was tempted to take a step back, but I held my ground and continued scowling. "An experiment remains accurate when the subject is unaware of its predicament. It removes bias from the equation."

I tossed some violent ideas around in my head. I couldn't decide which was better. "Okay, Bilbo. Here's what's going to happen. You are going to stop talking if you want to keep your tongue—better yet, your life—"

"Rather cheeky of you."

"—so obviously you don't seem to care much about your tongue. That's okay. I don't care about it either, which is why I don't mind doing this." I extended my hand sharply, but Galilei's fin blocked my hit.

"Please refrain from touching Mr. Delbert," he instructed with scary politeness. His red eyes nearly glowed, but the threat seemed far—the lack of proximity making it seem not as promising.

I pulled back my hand with the scowl still in place. "Yeah, yeah. You get a gallade as your aid. Maybe you're more like a leprechaun than a dwarf since you seem to be as lucky as one. Someday your luck will run out, Bilbo, and I'll be there when it does."

"It's rewarding to know you find my curiosity so embittering," Corwin commented. The left corner of his lips actually dropped, betraying his amusement. "Do you plan on removing your furret from the care of that girl?" His question finished just as Meredith arrived to join our group.

She looked between all of us with droopy eyes, begging to be included. "Keane told me that you're going back to your house. Is it okay if I come with you, Rochelle? I understand if you don't want me there."

I glanced at Keane, who decided to not say anything for once. "…Whatever. The bird gets the final word."

Corwin's half-smile made one final appearance before Galilei clasped him and the two disappeared. Keane held out his wings expectantly. I gripped one, while Meredith grabbed the other.

I picked up Poona and stood, hugging her so closely to me while swearing to myself that I would never let her go again. From the corner of my vision, I felt Meredith stare at me for a split second before diverting her attention to the chikorita in her arms.

It took only a blink and we were back on my porch. Poona tensed and shifted in my arms. It meant she wanted me to let go, but I didn't want to. I fleetingly imagined her running away with the speed she had used months earlier. I promised myself that everything would be all right, but my arms didn't believe me. In response to my doubts, I tightened my hold on Poona. If I wasn't willing to let her go now, did this mean I didn't trust her? Did I trust her?

Well, duh. Why wouldn't I?

"Chelly? Can I get down? Please?" she asked feebly.

For some reason, I had the impulse to throw her upward to see how she would react, but instead I loosened my arms to let her escape. She plunked onto the ground and then stretched to her full length.

As soon as we stepped into the house, Mom bombarded us—well, mostly Poona. The furret was tackled in a cuddle-frenzy. If Dad had been here, Poona would have suffocated. He probably went back to work at the PokéMart, after he had come with Mom to bail me out. Thankfully, I tugged Poona away from Mom's magnetized grip only three or four times. Despite Mom's demands, I scurried to my room using my crutches and closed the door tightly. As I started building a barricade with whatever I could find, Poona jumped onto my bed and curled up against my pillow.

"It's still gross in here," Poona observed with a hint of happiness. At least someone found my messiness awesome. "I've missed this place!" She placed her head on the edge of the bed and looked down. "…Is that the berry bag?! You found it! How did you find it?"

I shrugged with a slight smile. "I went lookin' for you, Poona. I was worried." The memory of her desperate retrieval of the berry bag was still fresh in my mind. She had been beaten into motionlessness—until the pain had become numbness. I didn't know how she was able to endure that without crying, but somehow she managed to. My furret was really brave.

"I'm sorry, Chelly." Poona sighed as she rolled onto her back. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too. Furor's a bitch. I'm still going to find him. You know that, right? I've wanted a new scarf."

"No, please. I can't let you do that, Chelly. He's so scary. So, so scary." Her eyes were stretched wide in terror.

I sat on the edge of the bed and started pulling at my scarf. "…Poona, you know we have to talk about it. It sucks like a vacuum butt, but we gotta or else we'll keep it locked up inside like a dusty old chest and we'll never get to treasure the measure of what we know. Do you dig me? Does x-mark-the-spot?"

"…I know. I get it…" She sighed and stretched out until her lower paws touched the wall. "Not all of them were mean. Just Furor. Abel was nice to me. You saw that. What else do you want to talk about?"

"They never told you about their plans? What they wanted to do?"

"Furor said they just wanted to get more pokémon. He was very secretive. I don't think he trusted me," she admitted.

If he didn't trust her, why had he recruited her in the first place? He said something about needing more pokémon. Was he creating an army?

"…Poona, do you agree with him? About trained pokémon? About how we stole you away?" I asked, fidgeting with my scarf again. I tensed as I asked, as if I was bracing myself for the answer. I almost didn't want to know. I remembered feeling Poona's awareness—the revelation that Furor was correct. Did she still feel that way after everything she experienced? Was there a part of her still listening to Furor?

"…Something needs to be done," she decided, after a long pause. "We need change. He was right about that. But he's doing everything wrong."

"…Yeah." It was the most unconvincing agreement ever, but Poona bought it as if it was on sale.

"So that's why you need to do your best!" she exclaimed, hopping up on her tail. "Treat pokémon as your equals! That's what the monks said."

"Starting with you!" I declared and picked her up, twirling her around in circles. There was the funny dance my furret deserved. It was a little late, but it still counted. As a bonus, I added in a little tap-dancing and enormously out-of-tune singing. I was pretty sure with those effects I had cured one random terminally ill patient somewhere out in the world.

She giggled once I set her down. I rocked back and forth on my feet until the dizziness faded and then grinned down at her. Just after that, there was a knock from the door.

"I'm coming in." Mom waltzed in and almost tripped, staring at the floor of my room with round eyes. "You're going to attract trubbish soon if you don't clean up. When's the last time you cleaned your room?"

"Can't remember. Next question."

"Don't get snappy with me, Rochelle." Mom lifted one foot, took another look at my floor, and then placed her feet together again. "On second thought, I'll just stay here." She ranted for a second about my habitat before she closed the door and turned back to me with her arms crossed. "Your brothers are on their way back. Trevor beat the gym trainers, but he lost to Falkner."

"Oh balls," was all I could say as I realized what this meant. This meant I wasn't going to leave today. This meant I wouldn't leave until Trevor actually earned his first badge. This was going to take forever.

Wait. Since I had Poona again, didn't that mean I had to challenge Falkner now, too?

"AH HA!" I sprang to my feet and posed dramatically, enticing Mom's confusion as I cheered. "This is splendiferous! I need to get a badge with Poona, anyway!"

Mom raised an eyebrow. "Splendiferous? I really don't know where you get these words from."

"Uh…" Poona nervously scratched her paws. "Um…"

I dropped my arms to squint at her suspiciously. "…What? That word's in the dictionary of awesome."

"Yes! Um…can we go talk to Meredith? Please?" Poona asked. She looked bizarrely guilty again, as if there was something important that she couldn't tell me.

"Do we have to? She already got her badge. We should send her back to the circus now."

"Are you talking about Meredith?" Mom interjected. "She's such a nice girl, Rochelle, and Keane told me that she saved Poona. You should talk to her about this situation. She already knows that you raised Poona. I'm sure she'll understand as long as you talk to her about it."

"Yeah, but I don't wanna."

Long story short: I was practically yanked out of my room by the ear as Poona trailed behind me. Mom brought me all the way to the porch and firmly ordered me to socialize. Corwin and Galilei had migrated to the kitchen while only Meredith, Kayla, and Keane were outside. Mom shut the door, pushing me and Poona outward.

Meredith waved weakly. I couldn't figure out if she was naturally uncomfortable or if my scowl was making her feel that way. "Hi, Rochelle. How are you doing?"

"You saw me ten minutes ago. Do I have wrinkles now or something?" Because of how hard I was scowling, I probably did, but that wasn't the point.

"No, I was just checking." She shut her mouth and stared at the ground. "…I feel as if you don't like me."

"Trust your instincts."

"Chelly." Poona's voice was actually firm. It was one of the first times that my furret had reprimanded me.

I stuck my tongue out, counting it as an apology. Meredith looked like she wanted to giggle, but a sudden sadness tugged the possibility away.

"Um…I want to say something." She kneaded her hands together anxiously. "I know that…Poona, not Sylvia, is yours. Your mom and Keane told me about how you raised her since she was a young sentret. I don't want to take her away from you. And…" Her voice broke. She rubbed her eyes. "She's yours. I can't separate you two. You must have really missed her. I just hope that we can still be friends and that you'll stay in contact with me. Is that okay?" She hesitated and then held out her hand.

It dawned on me that this was a deal. I could keep Poona and be on my merry way. It seemed weird to me that she wasn't even going to put up a fight for Poona. Was she trying to make me feel guilty? That wasn't going to work. I was going to make this deal before the girl decided to take it back.

I snatched her hand with such force that she gasped from my harsh grip. I smirked as I shook her hand firmly twice and then retracted my hand, doing a victorious fist-pump.

"You are welcome," I said, emphasizing the last word extremely.

She furrowed her eyebrows together, looking openly hurt now. "I don't mean to be rude, but…why?"

"Because you have my friendship now. Not a lot of people have it, and it's a pretty awesome thing. You can do cool tricks with it, blow your nose with it, wipe your ass with it. But you have to feed it on a daily basis. That shit gets hungry. Yeah. It's badass on so many levels. So you're welcome." I slapped her on the shoulder happily and then struck a victory pose.

The muscles in her face struggled to form a smile. "…Thank you, Rochelle. I'm happy to hear that. Just, um…I know you'll do this, but please take care of her." She bent down to the ground, leveling herself with Poona…who was strangely teary-eyed. "Thank you for winning me my first badge. It was nice getting to know you, Poona. I'll stay in contact with Rochelle so that I can still see you sometimes."

"Thank you, Meredith. Y-you're so nice." Poona licked her face as Meredith brought her into a tight hug.

"…She said that you're okay for an annoying kid," I translated.

Meredith looked up at Keane, who was situated on the railing. "Thank you, Keane." Bastard probably gave the actual translation.

As Meredith pulled away, she looked at Poona one last time and then pulled out a pokéball—the pokéball she had used to capture Poona. Her thumb lingered over the button out of mocking suspense. In my head, I was screaming for her to press it—to press for the pattern that would release Poona and deactivate its use.

However, Poona suddenly pushed the ball out of her hands.

I felt numb watching her do it. Meredith's hands stopped shaking as she went to reach for it. But Poona did it again, the silent protest meaning only one thing.

I couldn't move. Everything started happening in slow motion then as Poona turned to me with a watery apology.

"I'm sorry, Ch-Chelly…I can't leave her. I want to stay with her. I want to stay with Meredith." She didn't bury her face or try hiding away. She stared me sternly in the eyes, exposing the bravery I knew that she'd always had. "This is the best for both of us. You still have the fur, and it's not going until I go away. You haven't helped yourself, and I won't help by being here. I have to stay with her." It felt like someone was slowly pulling a knife across my skin.

"Poona." I almost couldn't remember how to say her name. "Poona." The protest was present enough in my voice for her to understand what I meant. This was really leaving me speechless. I hadn't expected this. Had she planned this? Is that why she had wanted to go and talk to Meredith?

"I'm protecting you this way. Furor is out there—"

"I don't care about Furor!" It was as if the words that were trapped inside me had catapulted themselves out. "You think I can't handle a furball like him? I've punched pillows tougher than him. He'd probably suffocate himself with his own fluff before he'd manage to get a hit on me."

She continued looking me straight in the eyes, unchanging and very resolute. "You don't know what he's capable of, Chelly. I saw it. There were some things I didn't show you—that I couldn't show you. Please, Chelly. You have to trust me."

This didn't make any sense. She didn't want to come with me, but she'd go with someone she just met? Maybe it was too soon to think my furret had become logical. Why was she doing this? I wasn't about to start crying and begging. Nope. Not this time. I refused.

"If you stay with Meredith, she's in danger, too! What's the difference?" My left hand was completely covered in fur. I heard Meredith gasp as she saw the growth peek out from Corwin's sleeve. "Staying with her is just as bad, and you have no free will. So what does that leave for you? Nada. Zilch. One minus one equals zero."

She winced, her eyes widening. "I…didn't think about that. I don't want to put anyone in danger…" She looked back at Meredith. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have run. Maybe…I should be released."

"No!" For the first time I felt the fur crawling upward, streaked across my collar bone. It made my scarf feel tighter around my neck. "Stop saying this, Poona! Everything can go back to normal! He thinks you're dead. He doesn't know you're alive and well. So just…everything can go back to normal. Nothing needs to happen. Come be with me."

"The Freedom Fighters are everywhere. They'll see me, and they'll know. I can't endanger anyone. And look at yourself, Chelly."

"Wh-what's going on?" Meredith finally said, audibly gasping at my appearance. "Your skin condition—"

Both arms were covered in fur. My chin had even started sprouting the substance, making it look like I was capable of growing a beard. Jacoby would be so jealous.

I had to give Poona a choice, and I had to be willing to let her go. But now I wasn't willing to do either of those things because she wanted to run away for good. She wanted to get away so that she couldn't bring any harm to anyone, but she didn't realize that saying and doing this actually was hurting me.

Was I being selfish by wanting her to be here with me?

Oh, screw it. What did it matter?

There was only one thing I could do now to make sure that she stayed and that she was with me.

I glimpsed at Meredith and held her gaze for as long as I could before her shock forced her to look away. Somehow I managed to rip the words out of my mouth, even when it felt like my tongue slid back into my throat in an attempt to choke me. I wished something could have choked me in that moment so I didn't have to say it.

"Fishlips, keep her. She's yours. But that friendship thing I was talking about? I want that back."

I guessed that Meredith lost the ability to speak because she continued gaping, her mouth looking like a cave. I felt like one in that moment—a lonely, unoccupied cave that had now been abandoned by everyone.

As I said these words, Poona eased back, also at a loss of words. Slowly, the fur began to vanish. I felt it slipping away—just like the happiness I had felt after reuniting with Poona.

It looked like I wasn't going to get my first badge after all.