Hi guys, is it me or is the site being weird?

HellaChloe: Well, this fic will make you happy, then! There's a little more Michonne than Andrea, but still.

Maddy: Haha, who says he was wearing anything at all?

Demi's POV:

I honestly didn't know if things could get any more confusing.

So much had happened these past few months, it gave me a headache just from thinking about it. The whole apocalypse, that house invasion, Noah, Tyler, Merle, finding back my friends, getting together with Ben, losing Olivia and Sophia and losing Ben again...

And now this whole situation with Victor. Part of me actually felt betrayed. He had been my friend since the start of this whole thing, and I had genuinely believed we were just that.

Friends.

He was an attractive guy, I wasn't gonna lie about that. He was the kind of guy I could have fallen for during college. He was smart, funny, handsome, and actually brought something to the table.

But I had fallen for Ben instead. When he had introduced me to Victor, I hadn't thought much of it. He was just the best friend of the man I loved, nothing more, nothing less. Simple as that.

How different were things now, I thought back with a sigh.

I looked up to the sky, the beautiful dark sky, full of stars and constellations. I had always loved these clear and starry nights, Ben and I could gaze at it for hours, and hours to come.

I wasn't sure how I felt about Victor. There was this attraction between us, that was undeniable, but did that mean I liked him? Or was my heart just bleeding because I had lost someone I loved?

Suddenly I hated Ben. This was all his fault. If only he hadn't lied to us, if he hadn't gone to the pond that night, if he hadn't left... We'd still be together, and I'd not even consider this whole deal. But he had left, and his absence had ripped me right open. The thought of him being dead suffocated me, but I knew it was a likely scenario. He wasn't fit to survive on his own.

"Damnit, Ben," I whispered to the silent sky. "How could you leave me like that? How could you?"

No answer came.

The next morning I was exhausted, having barely slept. We all were. I had spent the night at Hannah's and Daniel's side, not ready to face Victor yet. I needed time to think about all of this.

The others had already started packing their stuff. From where I was laying I could see Ryan and Victor moving around, determining whether or not the outside was safe enough for us to travel. I didn't see the little girls, though. I wondered where they went.

"Are you okay, Demi?" A small voice suddenly asked me, while I was still buried in the pillows that were stacked on the ground, in the back of the church. Daniel's expectant eyes looked right into mine.

I quickly sat up. "Hey bud. Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a rough night, that's all." I smiled at him while he started observing me with those big dark eyes. All of a sudden I wondered how Ben's leaving had affected him. The boy had been quite fond of Ben, and at first he had seemed a little quieter, but to be honest, Daniel and I had never been so close.

Poor child, I thought to myself. First he lost Sophia and Olivia, and then Ben left. At least he still had his sister. I decided on trying to get to know him a little better from now on. Not in the last place to avoid Victor.

"Are you two coming?" Victor yelled at us, and the boy looked up. "The coast is as clear as can be, so we're leaving."

I stood up and extended my hand to Daniel. "You comin', kid? We gotta keep moving." He grabbed my hand and I pulled him up. I really didn't feel like travelling again, but we didn't have much of a choice.

I noticed how the mountains became less and less high, the further we walked this road. I wondered why that was. Where we even still in the same country? There was no way to really tell. All I knew is that I had never been here before.

"I really do not feel like walking anymore," Lizzie complained. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"Stop complaining, Lizzie," Mika argued with her sister. "We are just on our way to finding a place where we are safe, right dad?" Ryan nodded, which went accompanied with a weak smile.

"That's right, pumpkin. Soon we'll find a place to stay. I'm sure Victor knows what he's doing."

"Yeah, killing walkers, beating them up," the girl muttered, looking agitated. I raised my eyebrow. "You do know they need to be killed, right?"

Now she affirmed her gaze on me. "But what if they don't want to hurt us? What if they don't want to be killed? Like my mother?" Ryan helplessly eyed me.

"Sweetheart, maybe you should look at the flowers," he tried, but the girl shook her head, and kept walking instead.

Victor and I exchanged a glance. This child started to freak me out. How did she not understand what was going on with the world? The apocalypse was going on for a while now, and by now she should understand that these walkers had anything but friendly intentions.

I was happy when we arrived in a new town. Victor took down a few walkers while we entered the deserted town, and I myself swiftly killed one too, but other than that the place seemed barren, which was a good and a bad sign at the same time. Where had all these people gone, and how many of them were walkers now?

We conquered the nearest house, a lovely little house with a cute porch, right out of my dreams, I had always wished for a home like this. I didn't need much.

The inside was a lot less nice, though. The former inhabitants, an elderly couple, had shot themselves in the living room. The place was a mess, as there were pieces of brains sticking against the wall, covered in blood. The mere sight of it was enough to make me vomit.

At least now I didn't need to wonder what had happened to these people, as I had done at the last houses where we had stayed.

Victor had taken their shotgun, you could never know when that was gonna come in handy. Besides, you couldn't let weapons like that just lay around like that. Who knows who would find them, and use them for the wrong reasons.

To my delight I did find the kitchen counters filled with packaged foods. That meant we didn't need to go on a supply run for the next couple of days, something that likely extended our lives for a little bit.

For now we were safe, and that was the best it could get.

"Okay Demi, spill it."

Hannah gave me a curious glance. She had kept eyeing me ever since I had asked her if I could spend the night with them. I had opted to lessen the gaps between the groups that had formed. Ryan always spent time with his daughters, and Hannah and Daniel were always together as well, which had left me with Victor, something I wasn't looking forward to right now.

I let out a nervous laugh. "Spill what?"

She tilted her head a little. "The division you have made today. Stocking Victor with Ryan and the kids in the couples' bedroom, you staying with us in the spare room. If I hadn't known any better I'd say you've been avoiding Victor the whole day. What's the matter with you?"

Damn. The girl was smart.

"I, eh…" How was I going to say this? Was I even going to say this?

"Something happened between the two of you, hasn't it? He likes you, but you're confused. Your mind is still with Ben." She batted her eyes a few times, as my mouth fell wide open.

"How do you do that?" She grinned. "Do what?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Reading my mind. Knowing what's going on."

She let out a good-natured sigh. "Oh Demi, it's actually quite obvious. Like I told you before, I overheard them fighting over you back at my parents' cabin, and I've been paying attention to it ever since. The guy is smitten with you, and Ben knew it too."

I opened my mouth, but then closed it again, not sure about what to say. Instead I slowly exhaled, and watched Daniel, who was sound asleep already.

"I get why you're confused, though. It must be confusing for you. I'm not entirely sure what went down between you and Ben before, and well, I never really was a fan of him anyway, but it must have been hard for you to lose him like that again."

I stared to the ground. "I just… He lied to me. To all of us. He knew how much his sobriety meant to me, and yet he didn't quit the drinking. That cost me my best friend's life, and Sophia's, too."

Hannah started patting my back. "You can't blame him for their deaths. It was an accident, a coincidence. The walkers would have found us that night, anyway. Whether it was at that spot or at the camp, it doesn't really matter. I get why you blame him for lying to you, but I guess lying about it indicates he truly has a problem."

I sent her a sad smile. "And I turned my back on him, thus signing his death sentence."

"He chose to leave us behind. We shouldn't have given him the cold shoulder, maybe, but in the end he was the one that left." Slowly I nodded. I knew Hannah was right, I just wasn't sure if I was ready to admit that to myself.

"And now Victor…" She continued with an apologetic glance. "It's all a lot to process. Just do it one step at a time. You don't have to have all of the answers right now. Let it sink in."

"You know Hannah, you would have made a great psychologist," I smiled at her, and she returned it. "Actually I was planning on studying English literature, after the summer. I love to read, and I had my hopes set on becoming a writer, some day. Guess that dream is further away than ever." She walked over to the window, gazing outside. I decided to join her.

The street was empty, aside from some walkers roaming around. I wondered where they came from, and where they went.

"Demi?" Hannah woke me up from my thoughts. "What do you think is gonna happen from here?"

I bit my lip. I wish I could have provided her with an answer, but the future was as much of a mystery to me as it was to her. I simply had no idea what was about to happen. That both relieved and terrified me. Who knew how much worse it was going to get from now… I couldn't imagine it becoming any better.

"I don't know, Hannah. I really don't."

I like Hannah. I'd be sad to see her go. Wouldn't you?