1 word, 2 meanings.
Castiel, Sam and I walked carefully next to the road, where we saw a little town appear in the distance.
Carrying my own bag would not have been hard, normally. But it actually asked a lot of energy. A lot of physical attention which made my muscles sore by even walking a few miles.
The thing that surprised me more was that Castiel took the bag and walked a whole mile next to me. Based on what I glimpsed from his face, was that he seemed to be delighted that I let him. It was a kind gesture that meant a whole lot to me. That he wasn't going to take the easy road and fly his way. He managed to walk beside me and not make me feel any worse than I was already. He even made me feel slightly a bit more protected. However, Sam checked on me every now and then if I was still walking with Castiel. Checking if Castiel didn't flew off, and leaving me alone on the road behind him.
We reached town shortly after, which was beautiful to start with, yet we couldn't find a simple motel to stay at.
Only luxurious hotels with numerous stars on them. If I recall correctly, I even saw a Hilton. The rain wasn't helping our decision making any easier. It made Sam's thoughts drift and slide away. Constantly weighing the pro's and contra's.
So I took a leap of faith and asked him if we could just enter one already. It was this, or spending a good night sleep on a bench in a park, or in the gutter. Which were pretty luxurious too, yet I hoped it wouldn't be an option to choose from.
I immediately saw people gawking when we stepped in the entrance. Judging right away at our soaking wet clothes. Water dripping from my hair. The rain wasn't that cold though it was still a normal temperature outside, but when I stepped inside you could feel the warmth radiating.
The whole hall was filled with a pleasant smell and a warm welcome. Only the people weren't that pleasant to look back at.
You could read their judgments of their faces. And I wasn't the only one who had noticed that.
We slowly walked towards the register where a well-groomed guy welcomed us and asked if we needed some towels to dry ourselves with.
I accepted the offer while Sam bumped his elbow against my arm, making me stumble closer against the desk. It seemed that I was going to be the one to ask for a room this time, so I did.
"Thank you for the towels, and sorry for the mess we made in this exquisite hallway. We're here to check in. Are there still any rooms available ?" I asked.
The guy stretched his fingers and started typing in random letters and numbers in his keyboard. He did it rapidly, almost not looking at it and keeping a good eye on every one of us. Which is pretty impressive.
Most of the students in the classes I know couldn't even type without pressing their faces so close to it. And checking ever letter they typed in.
"There certainly are miss. How many ?"
"How many what ?" I asked.
"How many rooms, for you and the two gentlemen behind you."
The way I looked at it, it seemed that he was implying that I was going to order a room for my own or at least two to split the little group up in. I wish that was going to happen. However I knew that Dean or any of the guys wouldn't let me.
"Just one. Oh and if it is possible, a place for five people. Please."
The man looked at me, eyes opening wide and more confused than ever. He couldn't place every piece just about right. Even though I mentioned that there are more people to join the room.
While he was typing in the order, looking if there was a room left with such wishes, he reached his hand out towards mine and looked around. Slightly concerned.
Sam and Castiel were wondering around the huge hall, and pretending no one was looking at them. Poor, drenched men.
"Ma'am, I just want to check one thing more. If I may?"
"Yeah, fine."
"Are you safe?" The man asked me softly, almost a whisper. I frowned my browns to the guy, he looked more and more anxious. Looking like he was seeing a kidnapping live on the spot.
"What do you mean by that ? I'm safe as can be."
"I have a contract signed that whatever is told to me, is confidential. Unless you want me to call forces." I was flustered because of this man. He wanted to call the cops, and what for?
"I'm sorry if I made you under any circumstances confounded…" I tried to explain. "But we're just on a trip with the family."
It was the most reasonable excuse that I could think of in a 10 seconds period. I slightly turned myself around, searching for Sam and Castiel who were watching a beautiful gigantic painting of two ballerina's dancing on a lake under the full moon. I pointed with my other hand, since the guy was still holding the wounded one. "Look, he over there is my dad, the one with the trench coat and bags. And the man beside him is uh-…" I hesitated for a second. Sam saw me pointing at him and smiled back with one of the known half smiles of his. Both of them looked so calm and peaceful. Wet, but kind of happy.
"Your brother ?" The man asked.
"Y-Yes! My older brother. You know, family trip and all that." I turned back around to face the guy. His face showed pure embarrassment. "Oh, ma'am I'm terribly sorry about the misunderstanding. I misjudged you. It's just…" He picked up the hand that he was holding a long time, and pulled back the huge sleeves of the sweater. The bandages showed and I retreated my hand carefully from his, pulling back down the sweater.
"That's nothing, we were hiking and… yeah, kind of stumbled upon an unwanted stone." I said jokingly. I couldn't get a good excuse out of that, but the well groomed man understood.
"If you want me to, I can call service to help you with that arm."
"If you could send me some bandages, actually. That would be good enough, sir." The man nodded, and typed rapidly some text on his small computer.
"You will be staying at room number 203. It is the only room with two large beds we've got. I can't arrange anything else. Because of the weather these days here, all rooms with more than two beds are occupied. But because it is the only room qualified, I can get a discount somewhere for your family." He was kind. So kind to a girl that looked like she belonged everywhere but here in this white castle. I was grateful that even rich people could be helpful and caring towards people that were not on their level. I thanked the man and waved at Castiel and Sam to give the signal.
"The bandages will arrive shortly after you have unpacked and installed yourselves. Oh and you don't have to call me sir. I'm just a student working on the weekends for extra credit." He said. The man threw me a big smile and picked up the ringing phone.
"What did he say ? He seemed to talk a lot." Sam asked while walking up towards me.
"Nothing special, he wishes us a great time at the hotel. And I have good news, there is a bibliotheca. I saw it on the brochure lying next to his computer. Maybe we can get some information about this whole thing that is going on."
Castiel saw that Sam was already with me and picked back up my bag and threw it over his shoulder.
"Which room are we going to stay at ?" Castiel asked while walking to our direction.
"Room number 203 old sport." I said with a posh accent. I was glad that we were going to sleep for once in a descent bed, in a descent room. "I hope they have Wi-Fi for you Sam."
Sam laughed and rested his hand against my back, leading me the way.
We didn't unpack everything. We dried ourselves up, putting fresh clothes on and were back of to the library.
The halls were huge, you could easily get lost in here. The dark blue carpet and light beige walls filled the area up with a nice homey feeling. No place like home. Unless it has crystal lights which shone beautifully against the walls. Creating stripes of light the whole way through. As if it led you the way on its own.
We had to go up a few staircases, steps weren't being counted. But there were a lot of those fancy steps. After all that we finally made it to the top floor of the humongous hotel. It was a large, stretched out hallway. With just one door at the end. No rooms, no exits, just one wooden door.
The door didn't fit the whole theme of the hotel, but it made you wonder what could possibly be behind it. When we finally entered the room, you could literally smell every single book surrounded in this open space. New books, recently published and shipped to here, never read. Old books, read a thousand times by millions of people.
The good experiences of a scene written out, or a bad one perhaps. A new character that has been born in the story and old ones who were written off in the most tragic way.
The memories and many different lives people have left behind here floated in this particular room.
Creating a sort of second home. One that welcomes you with open arms. One that doesn't judge you by which book you chose and read. And gives you shelter.
Sam turned his head, facing the side of my face. I lifted mine to meet his . I still got that strange vibe from him, that he could still read me. Maybe not understandable yet, however I didn't feel alone in my own mind. A third space as I named it when we were driving two hours straight. Not the reality, nor my thoughts, a third space in between those two.
A sort of the same thing with Castiel and I. Only he could hear me, and I could hear him my whole life. Specs of thoughts running, flying, jumping around. Only this time I wasn't sure.
"Lucy tell me. Why are we here ?" Sam asked. It looked like Castiel asked himself the same question, but a single spec of my thought ran through and he knew.
"There comes a day," I said vaguely. "where the internet doesn't know the answer."
"I know that." He said back. "Of course you do, I know that too. I said that more for my benefit than yours." Sure, he wouldn't have a clue about it. He wouldn't know it. He wouldn't know that whenever he thought I fell asleep and he could do the same thing, I was still wide awake. He doesn't know that I used his laptop in the middle of the night, searching for answers about everything I have any doubt for.
For all I knew Sam Winchester was a normal human being, well, as normal as a hunter can get.
I saw every major decisions and changes dangling around in his mind. I could read it all. Just like an open book. Only this book had some pages who were completely black, or empty.
"You know my password ?" He asked. Sam tapped his fingers against the closed computer he carried with him.
Of course I did, it was a spec of thought that crossed from his mind to mine. TheSmurfs. That could be the correct one, and it was for certain.
How someone that smart could have such a password to protect his computer with still surprises me whenever I have to type it in. "I do, common knowledge for me." I answered.
And yes I've read some files he had stocked in his map of documents. Surprisingly he had locks on only a few of those. Most of the files were victims, dates and supernatural actions that have been encountered in each state and city. The huge map had all sorts of colours and marks on them, but there was no register to identify any of those with.
It was all incredibly detailed, from the past years till the further future that lies ahead.
I knew and decided that it was enough of private stuff that I had invaded so far. So I spent a lot of time searching on the net for any possible leads. Which were none. Not even stupid questions from people who have smoked too many garden plants and asked those ridiculous questions on Yahoo-Answer.
We all set ourselves around the square wooden table. Looking at the scratches and candlewax still sticking on to it for who knows how long, made me think about the age of this table. Maybe back in the days when knights stull existed vividly, they used it as a table in a loud and crowded pub full of singing and dancing people. I bet they didn't know how valuable such a table could be later on. Full of memories, full of time. Time that couldn't be tracked in any sort. Endless, infinite.
Who knows how long this table could go on, while thousands.. maybe millions of lives end. Their story ends, while this lives on. Maybe not making memories, but certainly absorbing them.
In the corner of my eyes I could see a book, almost reaching from a distance. The closer I stepped to it, the stronger I felt the attraction. It was a book about old treasures. How convenient, I thought. But the book contained over a 1000 pages full of detailed information. It was a heavy load to carry and hold. The cover was ripped and plucked and lost all his shine. Even the pages were a brown-yellow colour.
This was going to take a lot of reading before it would be fully finished. But hey, if I could read more than three books in one night, why not give it a fair try ?
Sam began searching on his laptop, but after a few hours he gave up the technology and picked up some old books from a shelf. It was a huge stack. To be honest, all those pages combined would have been the triple of what I was reading.
"Show off." I mocked him while switching pages.
At a certain time all the lights of the whole library popped on because it was getting darker outside.
"We are open 24/7 , don't mind me when I disappear for a while. Just read on." The women explained to us.
The three of us were the only ones occupying it at this time of the day. But it was a good thing. No sounds of people talking to each other, people dropping precious books or even couples kissing each other behind well stacked shelf, not knowing we could all see them… and hear them.
Castiel slit his chair softly backwards and asked me if he could be excused for a while. I let him know by simply nodding because I was too busy reading every single word, trying to understand those complicated sentences of the writer with an IQ higher than the empire state building.
I heard his wings flap one time, and he was gone before I could hear a second.
The frustration rose when it was 4:02 am. We searched the whole night with no result. The book that I was reading wasn't even nearly finished. And you could see that even Sam was getting tired. He rubbed his eyebrow and let out a loud sigh.
As he closed his book, along with his eyes, he paused for a good ten seconds and reopened them to start on a new book.
And I wasn't going to give up easily. One simple hint would mean the world to me at this moment.
It was 4:30 am, to be exact , when I got a huge burning sting in my arm. I almost screamed and woke Sam up, who fell asleep around 4:15. My breathing fastened quickly and I squeezed my leg as hard as I could to contain myself from outing any noises. It may have lasted for a minute, however, it felt like hours to me. Hours of pain and agony. It wasn't bearable anymore, and it was only getting worse upon this moment.
I tried to look in my sweater to see if anything had been spreading. Luckily, I saw nothing new.
Shortly after I checked upon that, I heard that familiar sound again.
"Here." Castiel placed a big mug of, what it looked like, hot milk. I turned my chair around and looked up at his wings, who were still showing.
It was extraordinary to see them. Every glimpse I got through the whole experience never bored me.
Not then, not now, not ever. But they cleared when I saw them slowly folding themselves.
"You were gone a lot longer than I expected." I whispered.
"I'm an angel of the lord who has to protect everyone. Also, the heating process of milk… it began to make bubbles and spilled all over. I may have had a few attempts at this before I got a final result." Castiel kneeled to meet my eye length.
He looked at me just like when I told him I wasn't feeling well. I was younger at the time, yet his eyes gave away how he saw me.
"You know I am feeling fine, do you ?" I said to him to reassure that his concerns were unnecessary.
"I know that." He replied. I was glad seeing him and hearing his whispers. The whole time I hadn't even seen that he had this blue eyes. The eyes that looked exactly the same as mine. Well, I had huge bags under them at the moment, and I was not thinking a hundred percent straight. But I noticed him in another way by it.
"Are you holding up too ? I realized that no one asks these questions that often."
"I am not holding anything up and I don't understand why someone would ask such questions about what I am holding."
"That's one way to look at it. But that is not what I meant. I asked you about your mental and physical health at the moment." I explained him patiently. "I am doing just fine Lucy, I'm not letting anything slip through."
"That's good to hear." I wanted to use a word. A word that made his way through my vocal cords, but kept stuck inside my throat.
Castiel wouldn't understand the usage of the word like I did. For me, he is this character in my personal life who hasn't been there all the time. It doesn't matter that he is a side character to my story now, but he was supposed to be my hero, my dad. I understood that he was trying his best. The only thing I just wanted for me and from him was to speak out the incredibly easy word. His title to me, and my title to him. Supernatural being or not.
"Now," I coughed. "I searched and investigated everything I could. And I am still busy with this book right here, but can't you explain anything more ?" Castiel raised his brow and grabbed both of my knees when he kneeled further down, searching for some balance. "What do you want to know specifically, because.."
"Jeez, I don't know, to start with: why there is an actual print of my hand on his wrist, maybe the whole glowing slash healing process I performed back there." I looked at Sam to check if he was still fast asleep while I was whispering to Castiel.
"Look," I said. "You in fact lied about it with Dean when it actually happened. I know so because Dean didn't fight against it, nor spoke any word of it afterwards. On the other hand, the major thing that made me notice is that you closed off your mind. Just like you did an instant ago. You were gone for a couple of hours and then tell me it took you such long instances and many attempts for hot milk ? I am not a kitchen princess, but I know well enough the time that goes into heating dairy. It is the only way to keep me from knowing the truth, and it is not fair at all." I knew that it was not perfectly said, but I knew I was on the right track to catch him off guard. He lied then, and he lied now. The wound, the demon, my angel superpowers…It is enough to bear with already.
I don't even know who I am anymore for half of the time. Shooting things and hunting this demon that uses me as a private meat-suite. Probably not a habit I am familiar with.
Castiel tried to stand up, but I prevented that from happening by grabbing his supporting hands on my knees and I squeezed them as hard as I could so he wouldn't fly off to god knows where again.
"If you don't want to tell me, then fine! Someday you'll have to answer it, whether it is sooner or later than expected."
"Whatever happened with you and that Winchester wasn't just healing. I know what I've told you, but I didn't lie. Maybe held back a couple of facts. Meaning, that it is for your own good and/or protection. I'm not even sure what happened. Until I know for certain, I will not bother you with it." he said.
"Okay ! okay, I got it." I wasn't even going to spend more time to interrogate him any longer. Castiel told me at least something, and that's good enough for now. I will get the answers in time, if I have some extra time left… I loosened my grip on his hand, letting him stand up.
It was way too late, both for Sam and I. We weren't awoken enough to continue the investigation on the case.
To wake the hunter up, I gently laid my hand on his arm and pushed him slowly. Sam's head was resting on a pile of books, covering his head with both of his arms and heavily breathing in and out.
"I think this is enough for today." Sam said.
"You think ? It is already tomorrow and you were almost drooling on those precious old books."
"Found anything yet ?" he looked worryingly at my face, which was probably not in the best state. My face might've come close to a hybrid of a demon and an old lady. A slightly accurate representation.
I would have been looking pretty bad since I was feeling worse and worse. And the sleeping wasn't being granted with all the nightmares keeping me awake.
"No, this book is giving me more frustration than information." I smiled. Sam gently pressed his hand against the side of my face and shuffled his chair closer. The intentions that were meant was unclear, so I couldn't pick a how-to-react reaction. Neither was I thinking straight because of the lack of sleep. By that I tensed up and looked startled straight into his eyes.
My sweater of course!
I rolled down the huge neck of the sweater to check up on the veins while reading, and forgot about it. Maybe he noticed the veins, that those were more vibrant and spreading itself like a wildfire. Only I hoped he didn't.
Sam tried to tilt my head but I restrained it and forced my neck to keep it straight. Although he was a lot stronger than me, he still didn't push my face. He wasn't forcing me anything that I didn't wanted to do.
Castiel, also, stepped a bit forward to look at what the Winchester was doing. Which was trying to look at the wound, and as far as I knew, it hadn't been spreading the last time I had checked. Yet he seemed to see something.
His mouth trembled, almost about to speak. Luckily the library-woman was present and interrupted us at the best moment.
"Oh-oh, oh, my apologies! I'll leave right away." She spoke surprised in a way almost as if she was content. Sam leaned back on his chair and focused his eyes on the clock, dangling above the window. "No," He said, making the woman stop her actions. "I think it's time we should head to our room. We'll get our rest, and so will you then. We are sorry if it was our fault that you had to say up that late."
"No sir, no problem at all in fact, I do tend to stay up at night. I'm not a morning person." She smiled, waving off the apologies of Sam.
Both Sam and I got up from our chairs, and collected each the stack of books to put back in place. I kept the book where I was still reading in for the last. To memorize its name. The woman must've seen me inspect the book's cover and title because she spoke to my attention. "You can loan that from here. Three day max, I'll write it down in our system for you. Now, get some well-deserved rest."