Hmmmmm...I don't even remember how long it's been? Likeeeee? I am the absolute worst omg I love you guys. Even though I was gone FOREVER I still got like reviews and everything?! YOU ROCK SO MUCHHHHHHHH this is the nico chapter. I only wrote until House of Hades, bc for me BoO was kind of weird? like he got over a 'crush' that was life-changing in like 60 pages? idk i just didn't like it. So. I hope you enjoy. I'm back! I'll definitely update more soon, but this story has like, five more chapters or so. Vote in your reviews like always. I've got an ao3 account with Percy Jackson and Teen Wolf stories: thankyouforexisting. Special thanks to Princess Andromeda II for giving me strength to come back!
His first sight is his mama's dark eyes, her shining smile, her fluttering fingers, the ghost of her breath on his cheek.
She pulls him close, tightly, so tightly it almost hurts, and he coughs and his lip wobbles and he knows he's going to cry.
"Mamma?" a voice calls, "Mamma?"
Bianca.
…
Italy is always warm, it seems.
That's what the tourist guides say, that's what Nico's friends from school tell him all the time, when he's shivering and his teeth are chattering and his cheeks are flushed.
"It's always warm in Italy," Bianca repeats, more for her sake than his, as she wraps the only blanket the have around her little brother's shoulders, fingers freezing cold when they touch his skin.
"It's always warm in Italy," he agrees, clumsy and small, and shares the blanket. Bianca smiles, a tiny little thing, but it's worth it.
His mamma is talking to the man again, and he doesn't know when she's coming back. Sometimes he plays with them, ruffles their hair, touches their nose, brings them gifts. He's kind, and he always seems to glow around mamma, smiling dreamily up at her. He tangles his fingers with mamma's, and kisses her wrist, he puts her hair behind her ears, feeds her sometimes with his spoon. Whenever the man comes, there is no cold, no hunger, no sadness.
"It's always warm in Italy," vows Bianca, and Nico buries his head in her shoulder.
…
Sounds…light…shapes…music (AHHHHHH-EEEEEH-SKKEEEEEE)…silhouettes in the darkness…a never-ending game…AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN…"I'm tired, Bi." "Just another round, Nico. Come on."…"WELCOME TO THE LOTUS CASINO!"…no...smells…alcohol…people sleeping soundly…a man without a head…a head without a man…an itch in his arms…his eyes roll back…there's something…not quite there…
time
stops
…
Jake is infuriating.
He smirks and he prances around the room with his band of friends and he talks loudly and shouts in his ear and steals his jacket when it's cold and always throws his Mythomagic cards and makes fun of them and apparently enjoys making Nico want to kill him.
Bianca just sighs when he rants about how annoying Jack is, how horribly stupid, how utterly pedestrian –
"Wait, what?" his sister frowns, looking confused, "How come you're using words like 'pedestrian'?"
Nico refuses to admit he's started watching British soap operas, "I have a huge vocabulary, Bianca, you know that."
His sister just sighs again, hugs him tight against her chest, and kisses the top of his head, "Jake's a jerk. Just play it cool, ignore him and everything will be fine."
It isn't 'fine'.
Jake throws his homework into the bin and innocently says oh, he has no idea how it ended up in there, when the teacher asks. He always sits next to Nico and makes sure to tell him how weird and completely dumb he is.
"Thanks," Nico snarls, and goes sit somewhere else. Far, far away.
So it's a surprise when Nico is walking outside, putting some stuff in his bag because they're on a break, calmly whistling to himself, and Jake shows up.
He does his usual routine: insult him, taunt him so he'll retaliate, pout when he doesn't. Except, this time, Nico pushes him when he comes too close.
"Stop it!" he screams, tired, "Just leave me –!"
Jake's lips crash against his, clumsy and wet and instinctual, and Nico responds, his body knowing the way even if his ten year old brain doesn't, but then Jake is stepping back, eyes wide, mouth open, fingers touching his lips as if he can't quite believe what he just did.
"You're a –You're going to hell!" Jake shrieks, "You're a disgusting homo!"
He runs away, and Nico stands there, devastated, for a very long time.
…
When Bianca finds him, two hours later, Jake's gang has already stopped by, throwing him rocks and shouting abuse at him. He's half naked, his shirt off, and he's shivering on the ground, body shaking, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes.
She immediately runs to him, "Nico! Oh my God, Nico, was it Jake? I can't believe I told you to just play it cool! Are you okay? Nico! Are you okay?!"
He doesn't answer.
She kneels on the ground next to him, and her hand reaches up to brush his hair away when he flinches from her touch, turning his head, looking away from his sister, rejecting her for the first time in her life.
"Nico…"she whispers, and she hugs him as best as she can with the horrible angle, wrapping her arms around him, holding him while he sobs, weak and broken and not even understanding what's so horribly wrong.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?" she whispers, cradling him like he's a baby.
"I'm…I'm disgusting," he confesses in a whisper, and doesn't dare look up.
He can feel her frown, arms tightening around him, "What? You know that's not true, Nico. You're my sweet baby brother, and I'm your sorella."
"I…"
"Did Jake did this to you?"
Just his name makes Nico tremble, and he nods wordlessly.
"Why?"
He takes a deep breath. If you're going to be a disgusting, wrong, sinning homo, at least you'll be a brave one.
"He…kissed me."
Bianca's surprised, he can feel it. She sucks in a breath, and her arms, her soothing touch, stops, and Nico just knows. Knows she's going to stand up and turn around and leave him, and he can't stand it, because if he's ever trusted someone, it's Bianca. Bianca, who would never leave him.
"Did you kiss him back? Did you like it?" her voice is devoid of any emotion.
"Yes," he whispers, and sobs.
Bianca breathes once, twice, and pulls him up until he's looking right into her dark, obsidian eyes, her face set in determination, "You are not disgusting. Even if you like boys, even if more people try to kidnap us for weird, stupid reasons we'll probably never know. Even if you kiss stupid bullies who do this to you. You are my little brother and I love you."
I love you, too.
…
There's a guy dancing, and Nico can't take his eyes off him.
He's not from school, he would've noticed sooner. He came in with three people, and now he's dancing with a pretty blonde girl, and he's blushing and she's probably his girlfriend.
Whatever. Nico knows he's staring, and Bianca grabs his hand.
He pulls away, "Bianca! I'm not a baby!"
She smiles, "Of course you're not." She agrees.
Dr. Thorn is the worst teacher ever. It's just their luck he's assigned to take care of them this evening. He's also 'the biggest shit out of hell', according to Bianca's diary, but she doesn't know he discovered her diary again, so.
Speaking of the devil himself, the stupid teacher snarls an order at them, and they follow him outside the school, where, apparently, he's supposedly going to 'give them very important news'.
But Dr. Thorn wants them to move faster, and Bianca drops her green cap, the one she adores, and when he tries to pick it up, the teacher just grabs him by the scruff of his neck, and his Mythomagic cards fly out.
"Stop!" he whines, and he's scared now.
He leads them to the entry hall, and locks the door, and they just stand there, completely frozen.
"Are they kidnapping us again?" he asks, his voice small.
Just when Bianca is about to answer, the door they came in through opens, and the cute guy who was dancing steps in. Holding a sword. A glowing, bronze sword.
Nico feels faint.
"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you," he says, lowering the weapon, and his eyes are too green, and his lips too pink.
The rest of the night is a mess after that. 'Percy' gets captured, but keeps muttering reassurances, and he doesn't back down, and then two other girls show up, and a guy, and there's arrows and the blonde girl who was dancing with Percy earlier falls, and Nico just wants to scream and scream and scream.
…
"I am Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt," is Nico's favorite opening line. Ever.
Bianca is talking, and there's something about parents, and gods, and stuff, but he can't quite manage to concentrate. He feels weak and dizzy and his head is spinning.
Percy is talking, and suddenly Nico feels eight years old, and he wants to gush and tell Percy he's pretty. He'll settle for second best.
"Oo!" Nico raises his hand. "What about Dr. Thorn? That was awesome how you shot him with arrows! Is he dead?"
They don't pay attention.
Artemis, the cool goddess, takes Bianca, and 'Grover', who's cool and has goat legs and who seems fun, talks to him, and he's excited, and happy.
Percy is getting bandaged when they come back, and Nico happily yaps away about cards and attack points, relishing his attention. He's a son of the sea god, and Nico feels cool, he feels like he just met a celebrity, and he's asking questions and smiling and laughing and it's actually pretty good.
Which is of course when Percy has to leave.
A while later, Bianca sits down beside him.
"Nico," she starts.
"I really like Percy and Grover," he interrupts, eyes wide, "They're so awesome. Like, can we stay with them? It'd be so much fun! And –"
"Nico, I'm going to join the Hunters."
He stares. What?
"Oh. Okay. So we'll just sleep in tents? Camping 24/7? I like it!" he feels positive for the first time in a long, long time.
"Boys aren't allowed to come with us," Bianca says, in a voice so low and so hesitant it almost feels like she isn't talking at all.
His face drains of all color, he knows it, "What?" because surely that's not right.
"You can't come with me. You can go with Percy, and Grover, and you'll have so much fun, and I can go visit –"
He stands up and leaves, tears stinging in his eyes.
…
He takes back everything he thought about Artemis.
Apollo is the coolest person ever.
He's blond and he has white teeth and he shines in the sun and he has an amazing car and he compliments girls and he does weird, random haikus and he's the best.
And he doesn't direct any compliment at The Traitor (previously named sister) and so he's cool with it. He refuses to look at her, and chats with a god, and ignores the way his palms sweat when he brushes against Percy on accident.
He gets stuck in the Hermes cabin, because even if his dad is a god, he doesn't know which god, and it's apparently how it's done over there. The Stoll brothers are fun and loud and they all play games and they hang out at the dining hall.
He ignores Bianca's laughter, and doesn't look at her.
…
Percy pats his back.
PERCY PATS HIS BACK.
ALERT, ALERT.
…
Bianca is leaving.
She's leaving on a quest, and her hair is braided and she's happy and she looks at Zoë with hero-worship and she's leaving him again.
He has to go with her. They've never been separated before, never been apart for more than a few hours, and he can't let her slide from his grasp like that, just Nico-with-no-sister in a few days.
Percy catches him spying on her though, and it's more than a little embarrassing.
"What, because I'm too young?" he demands, and there's more than just one question in his voice.
The stupid demigod doesn't seem to realize, just prattles on about blood, and danger and suddenly he doesn't want Bianca to go with or without him.
He begs Percy. And he makes him promise. He needs a promise. He knows Percy will keep her safe; Percy's brilliant and powerful and funny and his eyes crinkle when he smiles.
…
"Hey, Nico. Let's take a walk, okay? We need to talk."
Pain, sharp needles in his brain, in his heart. Agony, twisting around his soul, making it hard to breathe. Guilt, salty and bitter in his mouth, dry. Mourning in his eyes, dark and restless. His lungs don't seem to capture air, his pupils don't seem to process information. His entire world view is obscured, a shadow with his sister's outline follows him around, her laugh, her fingertips against his temples.
It's your fault, something whispers inside him, You're disgusting, and she wanted to get away from you, and you killed her.
You killed her.
He screams, "Go away! Go away!"
He vanishes.
…
He spends months wandering directionless in the Labyrinth, Minos's guidance tricky and ineffective. He learns how to shadow-travel. He runs into walls, goes to China accidentally, passes out. He buys Happy Meals to summon the dead, and he hates himself.
You're a disgusting freak! You are going to hell!
He looks at a boy too long in a shop, and the guy takes a step back and says, "Jesus kid, you're a perverted little asshole, aren't you?"
He runs away after that, for a while.
Only the dead accept him, and they do so out of fear.
…
"Don't do me any favors, Percy. I don't want your help!"
He doesn't want anything from Percy, despite how his entire body reacts at seeing him. Pleased, happy. He wants to smile, and he wants to slice his lips off.
"What do you care if I'm safe? You got my sister killed!"
What do you care? He asks, and he wants to know the answer desperately, with a burning fury in his soul. Do you even care about me?
He aches for his sister's touch so keenly he wants to double over. They keep saying she wouldn't want to be brought back. Who the fuck asked them? Bianca didn't even choose those three, no-good demigods. She chose the Hunters, and she'd spent days with them. Nobody on this Earth knows Bianca di Angelo better than he does, and he needs her.
He needs her sassy retorts and the way she says "Hold up," and how she scrunches up her nose and the tightness in her arms when she holds him and he just needs.
…
"You're mad because I left you to become a Hunter of Artemis. You're mad because I died and left you alone. I'm sorry for that, Nico. I truly am. But you must overcome the anger. And stop blaming Percy for my choices. It will be your doom." "She's right," Annabeth breaks in, and who cares about her?. "Kronos is rising, Nico. He'll twist anyone he can to his cause." "I don't care about Kronos," Nico says "I just want my sister back." "You can't have that, Nico," Bianca told him gently. "I'm the son of Hades! I can." "Don't try," she says. "If you love me, don't…"
"I love you. Remember what I said."
And then she's gone again, and it's not enough.
…
He knows Luke and Kronos mustn't know about his powers, or who his dad is.
But when he says Percy's face, white and ashen, he doesn't give a hell: he raises the barrier.
…
"Is that…is that blue birthday cake?"
Percy smiles, and it's blinding and amazing and he can't remember why he hates himself so much, why he feels like he's being watched in Camp Half-Blood, can't remember the way his blood chills when he thinks, what if they find out? That I'm a freak in more ways than one?
The guy he's in love with (his cousin, as if it wasn't wrong already), gives him cake, and laughs when he makes a hesitant joke, and grips his hand when he's about to leave, looking at him in the eye like, out of all the things in the world he wants, the only one that matters is Nico.
And he feels so much older than twelve.
…
The river Styx has never looked so calm before.
Percy is nervous, and he's afraid, and Nico's heart is beating wildly. Some tiny, tiny part of him wants Percy to be in awe of him, to hold him close and tell him how amazing he is, how smart he is for figuring this out. But Nico's just an awkward teenager, with shaggy hear, dressed in black and surrounded by misery and death.
Someone as vibrant, as gorgeous, as alive as Percy would never want him.
And if sometimes the dreams he has about Percy make him throw up afterwards, well. What part of his life isn't shitty?
Percy isn't even looking at him. And his words are echoing in Nico's head. Traitor, traitor, traitor…
Percy is brave and selfless and he cares so much, and Nico betrayed him.
Percy goes into the river Styx, and Nico's heart throbs.
He is immediately on his knees, eyes wide, looking for any sign of him coming back up.
It seems to take ages, but his mop of black hair resurfaces.
"Are you okay?" he can barely get his words out, "Your skin! Oh gods, you're hurt!"
He wants to gather Percy in, hold him and kiss his forehead like Bianca used to do, but then there's an army and his dad and –
And Percy gets rid of all of them with a sword.
It's the hottest thing Nico has ever seen.
…
As Percy stares at him, surprised, when he faces down Kronos, he feels a smirk on his lips, and he's powerful for the first time in his life.
And then, as he sees Percy giving up immortality for Annabeth, as he sees the campers pushing them into the lake, he's weak, and fragile and breakable.
...
Hazel is salvation, for him.
He dedicates time for her, he talks to her about being a child of Hades (Pluto, for her), and she smiles so hesitantly, so gently, that he wants to hold her and murmur against her hair. She's a sister, just like he's ever wanted, and Bianca's face plagues his nights and days.
'I – I know you.'
Nico raises his eyebrows. 'Do you?'
Sometimes, it's so very easy to hide in plain sight.
…
He doesn't think about Tartarus. At all.
…
"I had a crush on Percy."
Six words. It's not easy to say them, per se, but it's simple, just air and vocal cords and staring at Cupid.
Oh, if it was half as uncomplicated as that.
There you go! Hope you liked it
-ChocolateIsMyDoom