Chapter Twenty-Six:
Why the Hell Do Damn Things Always Have to Change?
By:
Interest Me
*Stephenie Meyer owns all original stories and characters.
He squeezed her shoulders and led her to her doom.
Jacob felt Renesmee stiffen as they approached the house. Her heart sped, and its erratic rhythm danced around the melody of the night music of crickets and frogs. He was a failure. It was his job to protect her and comfort her, but instead he was throwing her to the wolves . . . er vampires. He was forcing her to deal with everything alone.
He tugged at her shoulders and changed their course. She offered no resistance but relaxed. He released her shoulders and clasped her hand. It lay, tiny and warm, in his oversized paw. His genes demanded that he do better.
"Let's walk a little longer. You don't seem ready to go in," he said and steered her toward a large rock near the trees. They sat, and she laid her head on his shoulder.
"I meant what I said. I really do feel like I'm going insane. Nothing makes any sense."
Jacob let go of her arm and wrapped it around her waist. She leaned into him.
"Aw Nessie, it's going to get better. Growing up is hard, and you have to do it so fast. I know what that feels like."
"You are the only one that could understand that part of it."
Jacob stroked her hair.
"Oh, that's not true. Just about anyone in the pack could help you out there."
"But none of you went from birth to grown in just five years. You all had at least a little bit of time to experience childhood. "
He brushed a few silky waves away from her face.
"True, but at least your nature didn't change. I mean, you are still basically the same. I grew a tail."
Renesmee giggled. Jacob's heart warmed.
"Remember when I braided beads into your tail?"
Jacob groaned.
"I remember when you stole Alice's nail polish and painted my claws. Sam will never let me live that one down."
"You were my pretty wolf!"
He watched her smile. He was sure she was remembering the horrors she had put him through; ribbons in his hair, tea parties, ballet dancing.
"You were my wolf," she whispered.
She stared into his eyes. There was that look again. The look he had seen after the bowling alley fiasco. The same look she had on her face when they watched a movie. Her tongue flicked across her parted lips, and he knew that move.
He had been completely justified in covering her entire head with his hand the night they came home from the bowling alley. She was being a brat. Dumping popcorn on her and tweaking her nose had been a little harsh. He didn't want to hurt her feelings anymore, but he wasn't ready. His eyes told him she was a young woman now, but his heart screamed she was a little girl. He missed the days when simply flinging her into a tree so she could grab a branch and swing like a monkey was all the reassurance she needed.
She leaned forward. His mind jumped into hyper-drive as he searched for a way to give Renesmee her dignity while preserving his sanity. Dammit! Why couldn't anything ever happen at the right time for him? Her lips continued to approach his, and panic set in. Without thought, his hand shot between them, and he pressed the tip of his finger into her chin, stopping her progress, but keeping eye contact. Her chin quivered under his touch.
"I'm not ready for this, Nessie."
She pulled back.
"Does that mean that one day you will be ready?"
"I don't know what the hell it means. I'm supposed to be anything you need, but I'm coming up empty here, Kid."
"I'm not . . . "
". . . a kid. I know! It freaks me out a little."
Her face froze into an unreadable mask. No hint of emotion clued Jacob into what she was feeling. Her vampire side had come out.
"So maybe it's just genes then," she said, "just a biological thing that your mind resists."
"It's not like that, Nessie. I'm confused. You are special with or without my DNA."
"Really? You think I'm special?"
Jacob rolled his eyes.
"What's special about me?"
She looked up at him through her eyelashes. A soft pink blush warmed her cheeks.
Warning. Don't treat her like a child. I don't want to do this. She has to know she is worth more than a cheap genetic trick. Yes, but where will it lead? Shit.
Jacob drew in a deep breath.
You're perfect. Impossible, that's the DNA laughing. Give her something real.
"You're fearless."
"Yeah?"
Jacob smiled.
"Yeah. I mean look at you. You take on every challenge without blinking. You punched a werewolf, broke a jerk's finger, and stared down the mean girls. You even went to school!"
And you're crashing into womanhood without even glancing backwards.
"School? Yeah, Jaky, that took a lot of courage," she shook her head smiling.
"From what I remember, it can make a grown man cry."
Lame. It doesn't touch the surface. Gah! Where are the words?
"So I punched a werewolf who couldn't hit back, gave the Rose treatment to some snotty girls, gave a firm handshake to a real jerk, and of course, went to school. Not very convincing Jaky."
Change the subject.
"We can't put this off forever. Are you ready to go in yet?" he asked. Renesmee's face returned to neutral. She looked at him for a long time; her face giving no clues to the thought brewing behind her eyes. Jacob squirmed under her scrutiny. Finally she gave him a half smile and looped her arm around his.
"Sure, Jaky. Let's get this over with," she said in a cheery voice.
Totally fake. Her voice revealed more than her face.
All of the vampires awaited them. Rosalie stood in the center of the living room with her arms crossed and staring at the door with a hardened expression. Bella glided across the room and stroked Renesmee's face. Esme rubbed Carlisle's shoulders and smiled at her granddaughter. Carlisle looked . . . determined. Edward locked eyes with Jacob and won the staring contest. Jacob looked away.
Rosalie slid an arm through Renesmee's, claiming the one that wasn't already called for by Jacob.
Lions and tigers and bears, oh my, thought Jacob.
"Come on Nessie, let's go make sure Boyd's car never starts again," she said as she tugged Renesmee away from Jacob.
With Blondie on her side, Renesmee didn't need Jacob anymore. The two women blurred out of the sliding glass doors. Jacob exited the house without saying anything, although he shot a message to Edward when he reached the door. Edward exited with him.
They ran silently until they were sure they were out of hearing range of the house. Jacob collapsed on the ground and leaned against a tree. Edward sat next to him.
A million thoughts scrambled through Jacob's brain, but Edward picked out one.
"If I thought you were a predator, you wouldn't be breathing," Edward murmured.
Jacob punched the ground sending a spray of bracken into the air.
"She's a kid!" he said as though arguing the point.
Edward rubbed a hand over his eyes and pulled it down until it popped off his chin.
"She's not," he said while looking at his feet.
"I wanted to kiss her," Jacob confessed.
Edward's fists clenched and then opened to tug at his hair. He ground his teeth.
"I must be some kind of pervert," Jacob moaned.
"I wish you were because then I could kill you. Problem solved."
Edward stared into the trees. His lips curved into a small smile as though the thought really pleased him. He sighed with what appeared to be defeat.
"Look, Jacob, I have been blessed or cursed with the ability to look into the minds of the wicked. The men I killed when I was young, James, Victoria, and the men that attacked Bella in Port Angeles."
"What?" What men in Port Angeles? When? It was Jacob's turn to ball up his fists.
"It happened before she and I were together. I saw the leader's plans for her. It was taken care of."
Edward looked into Jacob's eyes.
"The point is, there is a certain, I don't know how to explain it, flavor, or tone or something to the thoughts of the evil. Blackness laces through their every idea. It's uncomfortable. . . painful. . . to witness."
Jacob watched Edward's face age before him. He had once thought of Edward as that very kind of person, but seeing his eyes now, his abhorrence to what he knows . . . well. As hard as his life was at times, he realized that Edward carried a much heavier burden.
"Shit," Jacob hissed.
"Shit," Edward agreed.
Jacob stood and allowed heat to course from his center to his limbs. He embraced a shimmer in the air and exploded into fur. He ran away, leaving his shredded clothes behind.