A/N: I'm back! replacement laptop isn't as good as my last one - I accidentally got one with less memory when I ordered it, whoops - but it is mostly the same. Also to the comment about PTSD: I suffer from it rather severely anda m undergoing therapy for it. The workbook my therapist ordered me to get for it has all those symptoms listed in it as common symptoms. Just because you personally don't suffer from all of them does not mean that nobody else does. As to separating parts of oneself off, it is perfectly possible to do it intentionally and for it to be beneficial.
Kohaku threw his Fang kusarigama underhanded so that it lodged into the oni's stomach, shoved himself up into the air, and flipped over the back of the oni whilst pulling on the ball-weighted chain, his kusarigama sharply slicing through the large creature and cutting it in half.
Sure enough, blood flooded the battlefield as the oni split apart and the two halves fell to the sides, spilling their innards all over the taijiya. Kohaku wasn't bothered though, and he flipped his Fang into the air and caught it with ease. The blade shrank visibly as it fell, until it looked like the average weapon instead of the absolute magnificent being it was. He might not enjoy violence much, but he could take pride in his skills – and he did enjoy fighting as an act, just not killing and harming very much. "Yes, I do rather think we'll work well together, Kakudai."
Kakudai meant expansion, enlargement, and magnification. His kusarigama became about five times its natural size, with an extra long handle, no ball or chain attached. His kusarigama stayed the same, but with a poisonous yōki blade that naturally magnified itself to a size depending on the opponent. And his kusarigama became about three times its size, retaining the ball and chain, which Kohaku had just used. Seeing as it was created from Sesshōmaru-ni's fang, it had the same toxicity that Kagome-ne's Kodokuso had (the oni he had just slain was already half-dissolved) – and, apparently, upon conferring with her, the same sense of superiority, snide humour, and sarcasm. It was strongly entertaining to hear those irreverent things in his mind speaking with his ani-san's voice.
It also made him feel a lot closer to Sesshōmaru-ni... Especially when the daiyōkai had shortly grabbed Byakuya, sliced his thumb on the blade, and had the same voice announcing its abilities appear in the moth yōkai's head. Kakudai was their weapon. The blade had promptly split in half, transformed into a staff of the type Byakuya favoured... and then become a full-fledged scythe with a yōki blade at the top of the staff.
They found out that despite the trickiness he had pulled earlier, making them think that the expansion just meant the extra-large versions he could wield, it actually meant expansion in types – and that whilst they shared the same name, Kakudai was two fangs forged into one weapon. They could merge together to attain more forms, but singularly Byakuya had staff, scythe (both with a yōki blade and a regular blade), and katana; Kohaku had three kusarigama and a wakizashi. Seeing as that those were the only weapons they were proficient in, the combined forms must be something they would eventually need (likely something Kagome-ne saw in a dream), but not for a long while yet. Especially because Byakuya needed to learn how to fight with a scythe now, and Kohaku needed to learn to wield his larger kusarigama.
It was especially pleasing that due to their blood-claiming of the Fang(s), they could be used and switched interchangeably.
Needless to say, Kohaku and Byakuya had promptly asked for permission to spend a fortnight gaining proficiency, been told to go ahead and take a moon, and had been given Kagome-ne's mokomoko-sama so they would still be connected to the pack. Kohaku could tell that Sesshōmaru-ni had been a bit put out about that – but Sesshōmaru-ni understood that, being the larger pseudo-yōkai, his mokomoko-sama needed to be the one to stay with the pack.
Because Inuyasha still had not fully come to grips with his guilt (although Father said that it wasn't stubbornness, it had more to do with disgust with his actions and self-hate) and was unable to apologise – for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which was finding out that Kagome-ne didn't even really want his apology for herself any more... she wanted it for Kikyō; it was hard to find out that you had driven someone to such depths of complete uncaring, and to learn that in order to apologise for your actions you had to get over somebody you were obsessed with – Sesshōmaru-ni considered Byakuya and Kohaku to be his only little brothers, and he spoiled them and spent tons of time with them. He often helped them perfect their stealth lessons, tested Flame's illusions, and tested both Flame and Creek's ability to travel and run stealthily, silently, and speedily no matter what environment they were in.
Despite their official reasons for taking this trip, everyone in the pack knew the real reason – it had been the most hectic and busy and tiring half a year since Kohaku changed their relationship. They got even less time together than they had before, despite the absence of Mamoru, and while the time they spent together was spent well, it just wasn't enough. Yes, Mamoru would stay away another year after he finished his duty of breeding if they asked, and understand completely, but neither of them wanted that. Despite knowing they needed to be settled and secure in their dynamic and boundaries and the like, they both missed the nekomata dreadfully.
Still, so far this past sennight had been perfect. They had begun seriously exploring Kohaku's limits; spending inordinate amounts of time just touching and kissing each other. Finding out the things that made Kohaku tick, the things he adored and couldn't get enough of, the things he adored but had to be worked up to slowly and brought back down slowly, and, most importantly, whether anything beyond foreplay would ever be possible for the taijiya. Kohaku had been nervous about that, but his boyfriend – or, despite the lack of sex, as he was coming to think of him inside of his head, his lover – had sworn to stop the moment it became even the slightest bit too much.
After seeing the complete loss of control that Byakuya suffered (happily, he assured Kohaku, despite the difficulty of it) during grooming... Kohaku wasn't sure he would ever be able to handle something so overwhelming – but then the moth yōkai promised him that that was a yōkai thing, and more importantly something specific to grooming for moths. He also said there were other ways of grooming which brought about different reactions, and if Kohaku was ever ready for it he would teach them those. Kohaku knew what he was talking about – things normally leading to sex instead of simply pleasure. It made him so happy that Byakuya was willing to forever forego proper sex if Kohaku cold never be comfortable with it – and, had admitted, that he would have gladly done so even if Kohaku didn't insist on grooming him so regularly.
That whole thing had been a shock, the first time grooming happened, and despite his seemingly calm demeanour, Kohaku had been freaking out because having that much power over someone was a huge responsibility, scary, and prone to ending in abuse. Even though he had been ordered by his alpha bitch that it had to happen a certain way, he'd still been nowhere near as calm as he'd seemed. Especially because, at that point, he hadn't known how Byakuya actually saw the relationship. But Kohaku had insisted to try and move past his own fears, and so demanded the rights for grooming whenever he pleased – another thing very intelligently ordered of him by Kagome-ne.
Imagine his shock – and, considering what he'd been told by Kagome-ne over a year and a half before the relationship changed, delight – when Byakuya had informed him that the submission to power was wholly and totally willing and wanted. Coming from someone had previously chafed at such things, it was the sweetest thing ever... and immediately put Kohaku at a much stronger ease with the power he had over his boyfriend, because that kind of submission, as Kagome-ne had so gently informed him, always had the last word. They could put a stop to everything by stating that something was unacceptable.
Kohaku didn't ever have to worry about abusing Byakuya. His precious Flame was safe and happy and more genuinely relaxed than he had been ever since they met, despite all the busyness of the past half year.
Still – tonight was going to be their first time trying to see how far Kohaku could go in the beyond kissing-and-the-like category. Byakuya had suggested that to even the score, Kohaku could sit in his lap and groom him from the front, which had immensely relaxed Kohaku. If Byakuya got lost in his instincts, Kohaku could make him stop by intensifying the grooming to an extent that he couldn't touch Kohaku any more. Kohaku still wasn't super worried though, despite the nervousness, especially because Byakuya had sat him down and explained the differences in emotions and physical feelings that the intentions behind the act caused – and that he swore this was trying to make Kohaku feel good, but not too good.
Still, as Kohaku rinsed off his hands and his head – his taijiya outfit repelled substances, just like his pack outfit did – he was nervously excited, especially because Byakuya was going to formally request something from him. Meaning Byakuya was wanting to submit himself to Kohaku in some way that they hadn't done before.
Kagome-ne called it a Dom/sub relationship and told Kohaku that it was pretty much how all moth relationships were if they were full yōkai, and often even were with hanyō too, but said that labels were stupid because power always flowed back and forth; but that essentially, the person mostly in charge of the relationship and what happened in it was Kohaku, with Byakuya obeying him and submitting to his wishes. Theirs was more relaxed because it was early – at least outside of intimacies. During intimate times it had lately been becoming much more separated, more strict, but it felt right, somehow.
They'd also become more formal with each other, which worried them both, it was intimate time after all. But Kagome-ne had admitted to them that she and Sesshōmaru-ni had specific ways they addressed each other during intimate time, and that even though theirs were pet names, the meanings behind them were fairly strict and formal by now. So because the only nicknames that Kohaku and Byakuya had for each other yet were their scout-names (Creek and Flame), the formal meanings were coming in the form of re-using suffixes. She suggested they take the last two syllables of their names as "pet" names and maybe add the suffixes to them – thus making them simultaneously formal and informal.
They promised they'd try it out, and thanked her for her help. Kagome-ne being from the future meant she had words to explain things that were usually hard to explain because they were instinct. It wouldn't be as difficult, except Kohaku had been born ningen but was now something else because he was immortal, not to mention he'd effectively been raised inu. Byakuya had been born with no knowledge in his instincts because he had been created, so things most yōkai could understand intrinsically he couldn't, and when he was taught, he had been taught two different sets, which told him two different things – not to mention, the immortality and the new body Father had made for him had changed him as well. So they were going to have to just create their own rituals for their intimacies, which, partly because both of them wanted to make sure they never crossed any boundaries, meant that their rituals were a bit more strict initially, but flexible overall, than things a normal couple, even amongst moths, might do.
As Kohaku was drying out his hair, a warm body pressed against his and nuzzled into the damp skin of his neck, licking the water away. "You did wonderful against that oni, especially since he was so much bigger than you... Haku-san?"
...Oh.
Wow.
Okay, so, apparently that was more than acceptable considering the way Kohaku immediately felt (and followed) the urge to spin around and slam their lips together with a deeply pleased growl, biting his boyfriend's lower lip and sucking on it to force Byakuya to allow his tongue into his mouth. His boyfriend was clearly shocked and utterly in love with this response, if the way he was clutching at Kohaku and moaning was something to go on. Kohaku didn't stop until Byakuya was flushed, panting, and shuddering (okay so he cheated and played with his hair, too. Not that Byakuya minded it), and even then he simply began licking and biting his way across his jaw towards his boyfriend's ear, growling into it, "I really like that, you have no idea Byakuya. You can definitely call me that whenever you please. However... I have a different name for you. No shortening of your name phonetics works... But the meaning... You are now Yoru."
Byakuya meant "White Night" and Yoru meant "Night." Which was rather funny considering that Haku meant "Nights", plural, but considering their experiences with Naraku... It was fitting that, despite using different characters and words, the meanings were essentially the same. It also made sense because it made them more equal in a sort of way, despite the fact that one one in charge and one was submitting.
Most importantly... It felt right. Apparently it did to Byakuya too, who whimpered so prettily and latched onto his mouth very much as Kohaku had done before. Byakuya, however, did not bite. He licked, sucked, and scraped his fangs, but he never bit Kohaku at all. It felt wrong to him, and while Kohaku hadn't minded it, it also hadn't affected him much any way, either. He allowed the kiss for a time, then pulled away and linked their hands, Byakuya following obediently at his heels.
It had been very strange for a few members of the camp to see that, even though it shouldn't have, since, even once he was fixed and as they matured and Byakuya stabilised, whenever the ex-incarnation was having a bad day, Kohaku was always the one taking charge of the situation. Byakuya had never taken charge, only gently guided things.
And despite that he'd been more experienced and adult at his "true" age, he'd been younger than Kohaku, emotionally and mentally, despite his younger age still being older than Kohaku's younger age. Granted... Kagome-ne and Sesshōmaru-ni had adjusted rapidly – he thought they'd believed it could go either way (actually Kagome-ne probably knew straight off how it would go, and had just not wanted anybody else to know she knew), so they adjusted fast. Father had obviously been aware of the nature of things and supporting it. Roku-ni had simply not reacted, unsurprisingly. However, their niece (despite her being older than them, now) and nephew had been utterly confused at first, although it was a cultural thing for them. Yōkai were more dominant, and ningen were more submissive, in almost all mixed-species relationships.
All it had taken was for Byakuya to remind their niece and nephew of the mental differences in their ages when he'd fallen in love, and things clicked into place. Not only had Byakuya been very ill and unstable, but he'd been much younger for the most part, and Father had told Rin and Shippō that age did play a big part – a younger mental state more easily and naturally submits to an older one. And while Byakuya's older self was more experienced and older than Kohaku's was, he was that self far less often than Kohaku was his own older self. Not to mention Byakuya was a moth; Kohaku was everything to him, and since Kohaku had been the one who took charge when things went to shit around Byakuya, his instincts had shaped themselves into a state of submissive affection rather than dominant affection.
And by the times their states finished merging, the level of experience would effectively be the same, considering that Byakuya'd only had one more experience than Kohaku had, and was greedily feeding the other boy all the information he knew about relationships and things.
They were at their camp now, and Kohaku led Byakuya behind the waterfall, fondly remembering this place as where he'd decided to wait and help Byakuya become pack. Piles of furs were spread everywhere, there was an enormous load of firewood, plenty of meat from hunting this morning, a deep fire pit, and three natural onsen. Not that they would ever even think of bathing apart – bathing together was just pack. Rin, who was older than them by now due to the way that yōkai aged and how Mamoru had slowed Kohaku's ageing to match Byakuya's, still bathed Shippō together as siblings did when they split up their bathing instead of doing it all together. Shippō was the baby of the pack, since he aged like hanyō did – ten years both ways.
Apparently Byakuya wanted to get the Request done with before they did their tentative experimentation, because, although they went to the furs, he knelt seiza and bowed his head. "Go ahead, Yoru. Although, hurry, so I can maul you again."
That immediately diffused the tension, although not the seriousness, and his Byakuya fiddled with the edge of his haori before rushing out, "Haku-san would you please do this B- this Yoru the honour of grooming his hair before bed from now on, under a barrier?"
Holy shit.
Kohaku did not curse much, unlike Yoru, but holy fucking shit. That was enormous and perfect and Kohaku had never ever been expecting for Byakuya to allow that – oh, but he wanted it so badly that his answer was immediate and emphatic, although fucking seriously he really wanted to attack Yoru. "Absolutely, completely, unfailingly yes, Yoru. This Haku is immensely pleased and gratified that you would give yourself up to him so regularly. How frequently?"
His beloved squirmed a little, keeping his head bowed, but his violet eyes peeking up, visible due to the manner in which he wore his hair. Haku smiled tolerantly and ran a hand softly over the ponytail that his love kept his hair in – pretty much the only hair-touch that actually calmed and relaxed Yoru, touching over his hair softly. Sure enough, he managed to quietly say, "I-if it pleases Haku-san... every night?"
Oh fuck. Kami-sama, please give this Kohaku the strength not to attack.
Apparently the Kami were amused at this turn of events because they were not inclined to follow his request, and soon his gorgeous, talented, perfect Yoru was beneath him on the furs, getting the life kissed out of him. He'd been expecting maybe a couple times a sennight or fortnight – after all, that rule still stuck and always would: any damn time that Kohaku felt the urge or need to, he would be grooming his boyfriend. Even if Byakuya was never going to be able to reciprocate.
The fact that Yoru felt the need to submit to him and his touch, his control and Yoru's loss of control that regularly and often, considering how often it already happened... And in public no less – because pack-pile was definitely public (just a different kind than other-people public) – barrier or no, the fact that Kohaku and Byakuya always faced away from the pack and lay on the outside or no. "Fuck, I love you so much, you're so perfect and beautiful and wonderful and I think I finally need you, too."
That had always been a disparity – the need to make Byakuya feel good, but being so held back about feeling good himself, but now he was just craving letting his stunning, amazing boyfriend make him feel good the way that Byakuya always let him do the same to him. He wanted to let his boyfriend finally make him feel physical pleasure. Those hopeful, delighted, utterly joyful eyes were definitely and firmly cementing the difference between Yoru and Byakuya, although Kohaku was fully intending on flustering and shoving his boyfriend off-kilter by using Yoru in situations outside of times of intimacy. Only when he was veering towards an overtly submissive manner though – that way it could be an encouragement or a warning, depending on both the situation and what he felt Yoru needed from him.
Even though the one in charge was Kohaku, he was the smaller of the two, but that actually suited them nicely, because despite being the one in charge, Kohaku preferred to be sitting in Byakuya's lap. Plus, the whole being in charge thing was really only for true intimacy, at least this early in the relationship – outside of that they were generally equals, or flip-flopped back and forth depending on what they felt. Honestly when it came to pure affection, Kohaku enjoyed Byakuya taking the lead and taking the more dominant role. Byakuya was certainly the one who did any claiming at the moment, as two unfortunate females and one unfortunate male had found out – much to Kohaku's pleasure. He'd been incredibly intense in grooming those nights.
Kohaku finally sat up – or, maybe, considering what was about to happen, he should think of himself as Haku – and Yoru followed, delightfully dazed, even as he sat properly and pulled Haku into his lap: facing him, so that Haku had easy access to his hair. He was only slightly shorter than Yoru when in his lap, so it was easy to continue the kissing and begin the grooming, even as Yoru's hands trembled above his lap, grazing his haori that he had pulled on to dispel his taijiya outfit once they reached the inside of the cave. He made a noise of encouragement, and those hands slid underneath the fabric, fingers travelling over the fabric of his fundoshi with light, teasing touches.
So far it was really nice, and Haku nipped his way down the front of Yoru's throat and then across his collarbone, scraping his nails against his beloved's scalp for encouragement. "Oh, wow, you..."
Haku chuckled and mouthed at the left outside edge of his collarbone, "I told you I finally needed you. Go on, koishi. I trust you, and I more than want this right now – not simply for experimentation, just to let you make me feel good, as you let me do to you."
He was being exquisitely careful in his grooming motions, keeping them gentle touches that he knew would feel good but not overwhelm his partner. Now that he wasn't nervous or worried at all, now that his beloved had performed a miracle and made Haku actually want pleasure, he was going to take advantage. He was well aware that his first experience would be integral to how he would view all later experiences.
He also knew that no matter what anybody else called what Yoru and he had, this was not sex. They might progress to that, but right now they only things they did were bring each other pleasure from sheer wanting to – never, ever for self-gratification. Certainly so far that bringing pleasure had been an odd mixture of single and double sided – Haku brought Yoru pleasure by grooming him and making him relax and lose control when he was too wound up. Yoru brought Haku pleasure because submitting to his grooming made Haku immeasurably happy.
They were finally taking that next step now. Reciprocation. It was frightening, but Haku finally felt ready, instead of tentatively agreeing because things were imbalanced and they needed to see if he could handle anything at the moment.
Haku must have lost track of time with the light, delicious touches, because suddenly his fundoshi was pulled down, and Yoru was nudging his cheek, eyes begging for permission. He nipped his boyfriend's lip with a nod, gently pulling a few strands of hair before returning to the incredibly soft stroking of his ponytail – he wouldn't take it down unless it was getting to be too much and Yoru couldn't stop, or until it was his turn to reciprocate.
The touches were still immeasurably gentle and slow, but firmer than before, and gaining confidence with every stroke as the most amazing feeling began to overtake Haku. It was nowhere near overwhelming, but soon his head was resting against Yoru's shoulder, and he was panting and moaning softly, murmuring encouragement to touches he especially liked – knowing that they would be catalogued and remembered immediately by his beyond intelligent partner. Even if they still had to take things slow – going so far as Haku could handle and slowly pushing further over time – it would be intensely wonderful.
Exploration was apparently done with now, because Yoru's hand wrapped around him, causing him to hiss in delight – Kami, his hand was so warm and soft. And then he started slowly stroking up and down, rubbing his thumb over the top, and Haku just let himself get lost. It was the first time he had ever willingly given himself up to anything in such a manner, and he could suddenly understand why Yoru loved submitting to him – although this was the complete opposite. Even if grooming was the intent to pleasure Haku's partner, the entire point, besides bringing pleasure, was making him lose control. It was domination at its deepest. This was far different – this was based on the need to serve and bring pleasure alone. Yoru did not want to make Haku lose himself or lose control. Mostly because Haku didn't need to. Yoru purely and solely wanted to make his Haku-san feel as good as Haku made his Yoru feel.
It was strange that when lost in pleasure, the "new" names came to mind far easier than their actual names did.
He really was drifting now, panting softly, clutching to Yoru's haori, hips rocking into his lover, definitely lover now's hand. Yoru was murmuring to him, telling him how much he loved him and please let Yoru make you feel so very good Haku-san and hearing that was just so very wonderful and perfect. It really didn't last much longer, although Haku managed to moan out a name (he wasn't sure which one, but thought it was Yoru) long enough to give a warning that the pleasure was deepening and strengthening, about to overtake him.
When he returned to himself it was to soft licks covering his cheeks and his lover's eyes looking on in a mixture of pride and worry – and then Haku realised that he was crying. Or, well, he had been, because he certainly wasn't any more. Yoru kissed him softly and nuzzled under his jaw submissively. "Yoru thinks Haku-san needed that...?"
Haku nodded and sighed, grabbing onto Yoru and laying them down onto the furs; he was tired and he could groom Yoru later – he'd been warned that he might need a short nap, and knew that his beloved knew better than to let him sleep too long. "Seems like it. Thank you, Yoru. That was nowhere near overwhelming or too much. It was perfect. You'll have to show me-"
He raised an eyebrow when Yoru firmly shook his head. "No, please. It's... It's not the same. It is far too easy for this Yoru to stay in control of himself during anything but grooming – and while if we ever progress to further kinds of pleasure that you can do both with, this Yoru would be more than glad to show you... Right now Yoru craves giving you control just as much as, if not more than, the pleasure. Letting go for his Haku-san."
That made sense, and the "please" let Haku know that if he ordered it, he'd be shown anyway... But he wouldn't. To be honest, that was what he liked best about pleasuring his partner, making him let go and lose control. If he lost that aspect it wouldn't be as satisfying because the pleasure would always be held back. He wanted his beloved fully engaged when giving him pleasure. "Yeah, I definitely think a large amount of the enjoyment I get out of it is making you let go, not allowing you to hold back. I won't make you, don't worry, koishi. Now, 'm sleepy. Don't let me nap to long."
Yoru nodded, "Yes, Haku-san. Yoru will wake you up shortly."
Then he leaned forward and kissed him sweetly and turned around so that Haku could wrap his arms around him from behind and hold him – they always slept like this, even before being a couple, and despite Byakuya having been much taller. Kohaku thought it was a sign of how things would go in the end, even back then.
Kohaku woke up to his bedmate sliding out of his arms, and he grumbled, trying to pull him back against him, but Byakuya was faster than him in spite of the changes his body was undergoing to make it capable of handling immortality, and Byakuya chuckled softly, kissing him with an all-encompassing sweetness. "Wake up, handsome. I'm going to build up the fire and set some meat on to roast. By the way, was it just me or was it impossible to think of our normal names during that whole session just then?"
"I was wondering the exact same thing! Seriously, it was Haku and Yoru – though probably Haku-san for you?"
Byakuya nodded, "Definitely -san. Thank you for my new name; although, and I'm not complaining, no suffix?"
Kohaku shook his head, "Because -chan is a little demeaning and that has no place in our relationship, -kun is too friendly, and if you are submitting, it would not do to use -san or -sama. By the by, thank you for deciding upon -san instead of -sama; I'm only -sama at the court shiro or when on official business."
He was given another swift kiss, which Kohaku deepened enough that this time Byakuya (not Yoru – whom Byakuya had been from the moment he addressed Kohaku as Haku-san, despite not having been renamed yet) was completely flustered and panting – Kohaku might seem the more submissive one when not initiating affection, but when he initiated it there was no mistaking who really held the power in this relationship. He rarely did out of times of intimacy, but he thought he'd be far more comfortable with doing so by the time their journey was over. Maybe he'd even be comfortable enough to be the one claiming Byakuya when necessary.
Which was honestly good, because their relationship confused the hell out of Rin and Shippō; despite being older than them, Rin was endearingly innocent, although she definitely had the yōkai outlook towards the body and affection. Shippō seemed to be getting comfortable with it more rapidly, despite his young age, but he was kitsune – that was expected. No matter what happened, once Shippō grew up, he would be the most sexual being in their pack, bar none. Considering how utterly insatiable Sesshōmaru-ni and Kagome-ne were, that was a little... Kohaku wasn't sure what it was, but it would definitely be an experience to deal with.
Still dazed from the kisses, Byakuya set about doing as he'd said he would, and Kohaku stretched and relaxed into the pile of furs. His experience was nice, but he was still far more looking forward to seeing his Byakuya/Yoru completely let go, submit, and lose control.
Aaaand Byakuya was fiddling around again. Sometimes his lover got lost in making sure things were exactly so, in ways which were unnecessary. It was the control-freak in him, as Kagome-ne explained, and she teasingly called him "OCD" which meant something like obsessive and compulsive. Kohaku cleared his throat and asked for his presence, "Yoru."
Yoru straightened, walked over, and knelt in front of him, before Kohaku twirled a finger, causing the taller male to sit lower on the furs and move so that his back was facing his chest. "Yes, Haku-san. Thank you for reminding Yoru, Haku-san."
Guh, seriously; why did something as simple as a name affect him so?
His Yoru seemed as eternally wise as his Byakuya was, and he turned his head back towards him with a small smile and a blush. "Me too. It's probably the meaning – what it signifies. Yoru's submission to Haku-san, and Haku-san's acceptance of his submission."
That made complete sense, and Haku leaned forward, pulling Yoru's hair out of his ponytail after biting the tip of his ear and scraping his teeth against it. That earned him a whimper and a small shiver. Every single reaction was precious, earned, and given, and Haku loved and treasured it.
All those moons ago, he had had two reasons for his demand that if Byakuya didn't just finally let go, he would leave the area until his instincts had calmed. The first was exactly what he'd stated; he wanted Byakuya to feel good, even if it meant challenging Kohaku's trust in himself.
But he wouldn't have realised that Byakuya might hold himself back and not feel as good as he could – or even have cared if he did know, to be honest – if Kagome-ne hadn't taken him aside after beginning to teach him what Byakuya liked and said to him, "Listen, Kohaku. Byakuya is so held back, so controlled, that he is afraid to let himself love you as much as he does. He thinks he loves you right now – and he does, truly, but it is absolutely nothing compared to what he is capable of. Because you have never made him prove it to you, and that is something that all moth yōkai need. To have their mates demand that they prove themselves.
"You and Byakuya may never go as far as an actual mating, but make no mistake about it, you are his mate and the only person he has ever wanted or ever will want. Moth yōkai are beyond monogamous once they settle on someone permanently. So you're going to have to take charge when you do this, and make him let go. Don't back down. Remember what I told you about control and submission – you don't have to worry because Byakuya would never let you go over the line. Hasn't he always held you back when he thinks you're about to make a mistake and made you explain yourself to him, even though he visibly dislikes doing so?
"If Byakuya had his way you would get every damn thing you want, no matter how bad, or cruel, or dangerous it is. It's how moths are – once they give someone their heart, that person has complete control of it, even if the moth is the dominant one in the relationship. So you need to make me a Promise, Kohaku, that when you finally groom Byakuya, you will not ever let him hold himself back with you during it. You will be doing both of you a disservice if you do so."
Kohaku hadn't made the Promise—which was a type of yōkai Vow (all the born-ningen in their pack could do yōkai Vows) only with far less severe consequences than blood-oaths or regular Vows—immediately – he wasn't stupid. He had to know if he was capable of even doing so yet; if he hadn't been, he would just wait until he was – including waiting on learning, or he might be tempted to do it anyhow. But after a sennight he'd come to the realisation that he loved Byakuya more than he was afraid of making Byakuya upset with him or hurting Byakuya – which had been panic-inducing, in and of itself, and Sesshōmaru-ni had been called in to help with that; vaguely. He hadn't actually been there or been told who he was helping, but Kagome-ne had explained the general emotional situation and repeated what Sesshōmaru-ni said back to him. Who would have thought that his ani-san had to deal with the exact same fear, only, because he was yōkai and completely capable (at the time) of hurting ane-san, it had been even worse?
A soft whine brought Haku back to the present and he realised he'd tugged – lightly – on Yoru's hair to get another reaction from him. Good. He needed to focus now.
Haku combed his fingers through the soft strands of hair for the longest time, occasionally pulling them over to the side so that he could bite, lick, kiss, suck, or breathe on Yoru's ears and neck – it wasn't actually a part of grooming among canines, but because grooming among moths was only an intimacy, they did far more things to aid with physical pleasure during it. Combing through his hair for so long always ended with Yoru shivering and nearly hyperventilating if he didn't do other things – and the first time, grooming had only been so quick because Haku'd wanted to make sure that his love didn't get the chance to regain his control back; and that he didn't let his own fear overtake him.
Bites made Yoru moan, breathing on dry skin made him release his breath in a hiss, breathing on wet skin made him gasp, licking made him whimper, sucking made him whine gently, kisses made him sigh with a whimper tagged onto the end. A soft tug on his hair every now and again made him whine, twisting his hair and pulling on it made him arch, scraping nails against his scalp did all sorts of things to him depending on his mood, but mostly made him shudder and whimper and fist his hands in whatever was beneath him.
It was a soft, intense, and quiet sort of pleasure, for all that it was obviously completely overpowering to Yoru.
His lover was panting heavily now, violet eyes glazed over with pleasure and whimpers constantly escaping his lips; face flushed, body wracked with shudders, hands tightly clenched in the furs he was sitting on. Yoru was the picture of pleasure and loss of control, and Haku loved seeing him like this, loved knowing that it was only Haku who had ever seen him like this, because Yoru had confessed to him that ane-san and ani-san hadn't really done the same thing – they pushed his limits and taught him, but they didn't bring him pleasure like Haku did. That right there had been a huge confidence booster to the taijiya. Kagome-ne and Sesshōmaru-ni were experienced.
Haku could see that his beloved Yoru was very close to losing it now, though, so he made him do just that, clenching his hands and pulling, biting his ear especially hard, and trailing his tongue over the edges of the skin inside his mouth.
Sure enough, Yoru arched, cried out, and tensed, before relaxing bonelessly against Haku, soft shudders passing through him as he gasped and whined. Haku twined his arms around his torso, stroking Yoru's chest softly beneath the haori and hanjuban he wore, as he rested his chin on his shoulder, murmuring softly to his boyfriend, "Thank you so much, Yoru. I love you so much, and you're such a good boy for me, you make me so very happy."
That wasn't anything Kagome-ne'd told Haku to do, but when he brought it up, she said she was proud of him for thinking about it. Because it'd occurred to Kohaku that, if he was going to be forcing Byakuya to lose control, then Byakuya needed to know that it made him happy, or what was the point? So he always murmured things like that to him as he came back from his pleasure, making sure that both while he was unaware of his surroundings and while he was back to himself, he never forgot that he was making Haku happy and not just being forced to lose himself for the hell of it.
Yoru moaned softly and opened his eyes, a soft, content growl reverberating through him as he reached his arms back and played with Haku's short ponytail. There was a small amount of insecurity in his eyes, and Haku knew that he was about to say something important, so he listened as Yoru asked quietly, "Do I, really?"
Ah. It made sense that Byakuya would be worried he really didn't make Kohaku as happy as it seemed; partly because Mamoru wasn't around to confirm how Kohaku was feeling, but partly because he'd loved Kohaku for so long before his feelings were returned. Haku didn't look away once, letting all of his love, happiness, and delight shine in his eyes as he told Yoru the truth, "Byakuya, Yoru, you make me happier than even Mamoru ever has. I love you more than anything, Flame."
There was a sharp intake of breath, and Kohaku, despite being the smaller of the two, pulled Byakuya into his lap and very gently ran his fingers over Byakuya's hair, kissing his ear repeatedly. His beautiful, calm, composed, held-back lover choked out a sob against his haori and Kohaku just held him and loved him, realising that this had probably been coming for a very long time. Byakuya had seen Kohaku cry plenty of times when he was younger, but the moth yōkai was as controlled as Sesshōmaru-ni with his negative emotions by now. He had probably never cried in his life and he needed this so much right now.
He'd probably always thought that he would take second place to Mamoru, but Mamoru was Kohaku's soul-brother; Byakuya was his lover. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but that was definitely his place in life. Actually, a better word to use would be mate; because even if they never did the actual mating bond, that was certainly their place in each others' lives. Byakuya needed to hear that. "Byakuya, Mamoru might be bonded to me, might be my soul-brother, but I did not choose him. I chose you and you are my mate and we will be together forever. You are mine and I am yours. Always."
Suddenly Byakuya was kissing him fiercely, pulling Kohaku's hair out of his ponytail and combing through it, gently scratching against his scalp, pulling desperately; still crying and talking between every kiss. "You're not lying, you finally- Mate- I love you so much Kohaku, you're mine, mine, mine, please swear you mean it when you say forever because I just couldn't bear it-"
"I swear, Byakuya, Yoru, Flame. Always and forever and there will never be anybody or anything that even comes close."
No more talking now, except for occasional murmurs of "mine" and "mate" and "love"; just kissing and nuzzling, biting and licking, Kohaku carefully running his fingers over (not through, Byakuya needed to be in control of his emotions and reactions right now, not lost) his mate's hair.
This would have been a lot harder to do, accept, and deal with if Kagome-ne hadn't been incredibly smart and ordered Kohaku to wait to confess to Byakuya until he was comfortable with the force of his feelings. As it was, he could commit himself, admit the depth and breadth of his love, embrace the connection that they chose. That wasn't forced on them, even though everybody still expected it from them. Without prodding from or suggestion from anybody else, Byakuya just gave Kohaku his complete and total trust, simply because he wanted to and could; which made Kohaku want to return such an enormous gesture by giving that trust back.
Of course, Mamoru had had a paw in things, but even the nekomata hadn't pushed, prodded, or forced; just told Kohaku that it truly was safe to trust the ex-incarnation by his total lack of a reaction when Kagome-ne'd asked if Kohaku was comfortable travelling with them still. Granted, the sneaky feline had probably manipulated far more things than Kohaku realised – he wasn't stupid; Mamoru was yōkai after all, and even the best and nicest of them would do anything they could to turn a situation to their advantage as soon as possible. Ningen would too, for that matter, but they didn't always see as well as yōkai when those advantages came up, so yōkai had reputations where ningen didn't. It was stupid.
Anyway, despite his manipulations he certainly hadn't made Byakuya love Kohaku, and Kohaku had made absolutely, positively sure that the nekomata could not interfere and make Kohaku fall for Byakuya either. It happened because it naturally did.
And he wasn't even around to help make sure that Kohaku just kept on falling for Byakuya harder every day, right now. It was just happening that way.
That was the most important thing, to Kohaku, after having been controlled, manipulated, and tainted the way that Naraku had done to him. He knew that Byakuya felt exactly the same way, which just was even more proof of how suitable they were for each other.
They fit.
Kohaku kissed his boyfriend deeply and growled lightly to him, "Mine, all mine."
Because it was the truth and nobody else was ever going to have his Byakuya.
He might have been born-ningen, but he was raised canine starting from one of the most integral parts of his life, after all; with all the possessiveness that it implied, same with Byakuya. They might have Mamoru in the equation, but Mamoru had been there since before the beginning of their acquaintance, and thus was included in things and relatively ignored when he wasn't talking to them or physically with them.
Apparently those words had been something else that Byakuya needed, because he whined, and pulled hard on Kohaku's hair; somehow managing to demand and be completely submissive simultaneously, which was endearing and perfect. "Again!"
Haku complied with his Yoru's begging demand, growling and biting his lower lip, pulling on it, and then kissing him again. "Mine. My Byakuya, my Flame, my Yoru. All. Mine."
Byakuya/Yoru hesitated for just a moment, and then asked softly, "...Aite?"
Kohaku remembered his lessons and thought, hard. This was something that could not be taken lightly, and he had to be absolutely positive that he was ready for this step before he committed. Among yōkai, aite meant mate and partner and opponent all in one; in a deep, soul-changing way that implied that they were partners in everything they did, that whatever one of them said, the other would back them up on, and that if a mistake got made, they would not only help take responsibility for it, but help clean the consequences of that mistake up as well.
Generally only bonded mates made that sort of declaration, because without being able to read each other's emotions instantly and intimately, it was too risky to assume that sort of responsibility for each other.
Simply due to the nature of the mating bond, Byakuya and Kohaku weren't sure they would ever be able to do it. And sure, it'd only been six months that they were together as a couple; but they'd been together in every other way that mattered for well over a decade (closer to sixteen or seventeen years) before this happened. Effectively, Kohaku and Byakuya had already been acting as aite for each other even before they were in a romantic relationship. The question here wasn't if they were aite – they definitely were. They had been aite ever since that first year when Kohaku had taken it upon himself to lead Byakuya into a normal existence and help him adjust to being alive again and dealing with his fucked up version of a mental illness. It was wondering if Kohaku was ready to purposely define their relationship in such a way.
All it took was one look into those beautiful, hopeful, slightly frightened, uncertain violet eyes of his Byakuya to decide that yes he was ready. Because Kohaku was not alone, and Byakuya was just as scared of this next step as he was, but also just as determined to make this work. He smiled softly and ran his nose alongside Byakuya's, his eyes never leaving his mate's. "Aite, Byakuya. We will tell our alphas when we get back."
Byakuya's eyes shone, despite the lingering fear and worry in them, and Kohaku couldn't help but kiss him again and again.
They could eat later.