I'm back, with what is possibly the second last chapter of Siren's Honour! Yes, probably second last. If not, third last. Yes, I'm not sure, because I've been taking this story chapter by disorganised chapter. I can't believe I'm close to finishing this story, and I'm starting to feel a little sad. I had fun writing this, and I hope all you readers have had fun reading this. Well, maybe not fun, since half the story was drama, and romance. Emotional? Yeah, something like that. Hopefully.
Thanks given to Miorochi, QueenManaOfEgypt (I love Mana by the way! She's so funny!) and Ray-nee-chan for their reviews!
Warning, Atem may be OOC in this one, for a reason. I'm sorry if readers dislike it.
"Charis, my daughter…" Pharaoh Akunumkanon requested hoarsely. I knelt at his bedside, tears beginning to form at the back of my eyes. I refused to let them spill in front of the Pharaoh though; I didn't want to make him sad.
"I am here, your Highness."
It had only been a few moon cycles moon cycles since Atem and I married. It was not even Atem's time of birth yet. During that time, things have happened, some good, some bad.
An especially good thing that has happened is that Atem has discovered his three Ka. Yes, three. He has the three Egyptian god monsters for his Ka, though he has told no one but me and his father about it.
One night he had been tossing and turning in his sleep, yet did not wake when I tried to rouse him. Near dawn, he woke up with a start, and told me with a dazed look in his eyes, that he had met his three most powerful Ka. Normally a person would only have one Ka that comes from their soul, not three. Atem's Ka monsters drew from the power of the gods at that! He held so much power in him, and he was nonplussed on what to do. Eventually we decided to tell his father, but no one else.
Pharaoh Akunumkanon had been proud, impressed, and, when he thought no one was looking, relieved. Strange, why was he relieved? Maybe Atem's power in his Ka reassured him that his son would be secure in his position as Prince and future king. Atem had already been incredibly adept at Diahah-the 'safer' version of a Shadow Game, though.
The only danger to Atem would be Bakura, and his attacks have eased up and almost completely stopped recently. It was strange, because the priests had thought that Bakura would increase his attacks and strike harder, in the Pharaoh's currently frail condition.
Atem's three god monster Kas were incredibly strong, and each one had their own special abilities, though I can't remember all of them. Their names are Slifer the Sky Dragon (the serpentine red dragon that appeared when Bakura attacked the palace to try and steal my Ka), Obelisk the Tormentor- a huge bulky blue creature, and the only one of the three great Kas not to be a dragon) and the Winged Dragon of Ra-a golden dragon, though not serpent-like, like Slifer.
Both Atem and I noticed that after his discovery of his Ka, our mysterious mental bond grew stronger. We could hear each other's thoughts more often, though that was a little aggravating. (What if we heard thoughts from each other that we were never meant to know about? Even a married couple has to have some form of privacy.) Thankfully the mental bond only seemed to sort-of work when emotions were strong. Atem has a theory that his and my Ka(s) have some form of connection, thus the mental bond. There was not much more to deduce though.
That was one of the good events that happened in palace life. However, the excitement that discovery should have brought was overshadowed by the looming death of the Pharaoh. Not even the best physicians could cure him, and the Pharaoh himself had given up on the thought of ever healing. He told his court instead that he sensed he was dying. He was so certain about it, and eventually the physicians gave the verdict that he would die.
I was currently at his bedside, waiting for him to speak to me. The only other person in the room was a servant. The Pharaoh was summoning people he thought he needed to speak with, and people he was close to, to give advice and say his final goodbyes.
"I am quite sorry for letting death overshadow the bliss of your marriage so early, Charis," the Pharaoh said quietly. I stared incredulously at him. He was apologising? For that?!
"My Pharaoh, there is no need to be sorry, no one can control such events like illness and…" I didn't want to say it, but the Pharaoh knew anyway. Death.
The Pharaoh sighed, gaze turned towards the ceiling of his room. "I have been expecting to die early for a long time now. For seven years, a little bit more."
"P-pardon? Why would you expect such a thing, your Highness? Such a prediction…did Priestess Isis see this?" I stammered. What was one meant to say to that?
The Pharaoh gave a weary smile at me. "No Charis. I'm sure you've already been told that Priestess Isis cannot see the future of a Millennium Item holder. This illness, my death now, is the price I must pay to protect my son."
"Protect…Atem?" I repeated, questioning.
The Pharaoh was slightly vague in his explanation. He apparently made a mistake, many years ago, involving the creation Millennium Items. He would not explain what the mistake was, only that the mistake was unforgivable and potentially dangerous in the future. In fact, he said it was already dangerous, already the consequences for his mistake had shown, though he would not say what they were.
He did not want his son to have to carry the burden of his father's mistake in the future, so the Pharaoh had gone to the mage training temple to pray there, and taken Atem with him. This was when Atem was around eleven summers old. The Pharaoh had prayed to the gods not to let his son take the burden of his mistakes, but punish himself instead. Thus originated his current illness and suspected coming death.
"This is something I have kept from Atem. He does not deserve the burden that would be laid on his heart by knowing my sins. Mahado knows of my secret, as I told him when I spoke to him. However, I have to ask that you don't ask him for the full story. It is better that as little people as possible know."
"Yes, your majesty," I said.
"I tell you of this now, so if the consequences of my mistake happen to reach Atem, then you may tell him that I tried all I could to protect him. I did not mean to make his future rule an extremely difficult one."
"Atem is your son. He highly respects you and loves you as his father. He will never think ill of you," I asserted firmly.
The Pharaoh smiled wanly. "Thank you. As a parent, that is the best reassurance I could ever have, coming from the person closest to him. You know my son well, know his weaknesses and cover for them, so to speak."
"Um…" I thought the royal family never admitted to weakness. They had pride to keep. As if the Pharaoh read my mind, he chuckled, interspersed with coughs.
"A man cannot be all powerful, not even a royal. I am far from perfect, or I would not have been so ignorant and foolish years ago. My son, though strong, clever and courageous, has his own faults. This is where the necessity of a queen steps in-she acts as a balance to the king, and covers his faults. In essence, you become both his shield and rock.
"Charis, you will become queen when I die. Please help my son during his rule, for it will not be an easy one, even without knowing of my own past folly."
I stared in surprise. What help was he talking about? I asked him that, but he only shook his head.
"I haven't a clue myself. I only sense that my son will have a difficult time in the future. He will need to draw on your strength as well as his. For awhile, you may become his only stability."
I didn't understand those words very well, but I took them to heart. Maybe in the future, I would understand his words.
The Pharaoh shared a few more words with me, mostly advice, and a blessing of good fortune in the future. The future…that topic has been brought up so many times. Such an unknown thing…it was natural to fear it a little, right?
After he finished speaking with me, the Pharaoh sent for the last person he would speak to. His son. Atem walked in with grim, sad eyes. I discreetly touched his hand as he passed me, and saw his eyes soften as he glanced at me. He nodded in appreciation at my attempt to comfort him-his emotions were so highly strung-and closed the door. I waited outside the chambers with the Pharaoh's court and several servants.
It was when the sun had set, the sky turned orange and tinged with red that the servant within the Pharaoh's chamber slipped out, and told all of us waiting that the Pharaoh had died. The Prince had requested no one come into the chambers for awhile, so he could mourn privately.
An eagle soared in the sky, heading for the ironically glorious sunset.
The Pharaoh's body had been taken away a few hours ago to be mummified. (The same process Yafeu had gone through.) Everyone throughout Egypt was preparing for the seventy days of morning for the death Pharaoh. Mahado, who was in charge of Pharaoh Akunumkanon's tomb and its security, had gone with High Priest Seto to begin the mummification rites.
Atem had disappeared into the library soon after everything was arranged; no one dared approach him so close after his father's death. The servants that had left food in there fearfully whispered to one another that he had a harsh expression on his face, as if he was ready to literally murder someone or send someone to the Shadow Realm. They were scared. When he thanked them, his voice had apparently been monotone and icy.
I was sure Atem did not mean it. I suspected he was trying to hide his emotions, by being cold. (Through our mental bond, his emotions were so chaotic that all I could receive were indistinct flashes of them. Grief being the only one I could identify.) He had shaken off Mana and Mahado, politely requesting them not to enquire after him.
Mana was worried. Mahado was also worried, but he told Mana and I that he understood why Atem was isolating himself. He was trying to suppress his emotions. The future Pharaoh could not show weakness. He was trying to prepare himself to become Pharaoh, while feeling unready.
I understood Atem was trying to sort his emotions out privately. But suppressing them was not a good thing to do. He was doing what I had tried to several times before-trying to draw into himself-he would become a shell with no outward emotion. His heart would become numb, so as to cope with his chaotic emotions.
There was no way I would let him do that. He would not be a good king if he was cold at heart. I quietly slipped into the library, knowing he would not come back to our room when he wanted to be alone.
Atem was seated at a desk, the plate of food the servants left, untouched. In front of him were several documents that he had been working on earlier during the day, before he was informed that Pharaoh Akunumkanon would die shortly, probably this day. Currently he was perusing the document in front of him with utmost attention. I sighed, knowing he was aware I was standing behind him, but ignoring me in favour of reading. I knew what he was trying to do-distract himself from grief by throwing himself in work. If he was distracted, then he could push back his mess of emotions.
"Atem," I said softly. No reply from him. He kept his back turned, though it had noticeably stiffened. "Atem."
"Please leave Charis. I…just please leave," Atem said. I understood why the servants were scared when Atem spoke. His tone was so…dead. Hurt flashed through me briefly, but I banished it away.
"Atem, don't lock me out," I said, and came closer. Still there was no reaction from him.
I wasn't sure what I was doing; I was acting on instinct. I walked forward slowly until I reached just behind his chair. His hand was clenching the documents he was holding so tightly, his fist was turning pale. The fierce grip was threatening to rip through the papyrus. I reached out and touched a tense shoulder lightly. He flinched slightly before he could control himself. I ignored it.
"Please. I know…you grieve for your father." I forcibly blinked back tears that began to well in my eyes. Not now. "You were taught that to show grief is a weakness. But, even part of the royal family, you are only human. All humans cannot bottle their grief within themselves for long, without exploding," I pleaded.
"This…is something I will deal with myself. You don't have to worry about me, and please tell that to the others as well. I will be fine, given time," Atem replied.
I lightly touched both his shoulders. "There is plenty of reason to worry. Yes, you have to deal with your own emotions. No, you don't have to do it alone. I have the feeling you are not only grieving though…you are scared, though you loathe admitting it."
"Scared of what, if you think you know?" Atem asked. I could hear something in his tone though-it might be described as a crack in a shield. I didn't want to shatter his pride, though I had my suspicions. He should have known by now, since we are married, that there were not many things we could hide from each other.
"I'm not completely sure Atem. You tell me that," I sighed. Unconsciously to him, one of his hands crept up and grasped at the hand I lay on his left shoulder, squeezing the hand tightly. When he finally looked at me, his expression was a mixture of grief, despair, uncertainty and confusion. My heart nearly stopped in pain at seeing his agonised face. I inhaled sharply and sat by him, forcing him to face me.
It was ironic, how Atem used to do this to me when he wanted to either make a point or make me confess to a problem. Now the roles were reversed. I drew up all my memories of the previous times we were in this position, and firmed my resolve.
"Atem, you didn't let me be alone when I had my problems. You insisted that I tell you what was wrong every time something arose, and indicated I wasn't alone. You tried to help. Let me try and do the same. Don't push me away," I said firmly. His eyes faltered. I could see the restraint he usually had on his emotions crumbling. In a softer voice, I added, "grief isn't a weakness. It's respect to the one who passed on. Insecurity is natural. It is human to feel these things. It's human to let these emotions out. None of these things are weaknesses; you will be stronger the next day from them."
I hugged him, hoping that whatever I said his mind absorbed. He was an independent man, I knew so. He was also naturally reserved with his emotions. Showing what he felt was sometimes difficult for him, because of both his nature and his upbringing in the royal family. However, he shouldn't suffer because of such restrictions.
I felt Atem slowly bring his arms around me, and suddenly I was crushed to him almost desperately, as if he was afraid I would vanish. I felt a fine tremor grow through his body. "Charis, I can't…what you're urging me to do…a leader should be showing more restraint then I am now but since father passed on…"
I-I have no idea what to do…
His words were spoken in broken phrases and muffled, his tone losing its dead quality and becoming rather choked. His last phrase came from his thoughts, not from his spoken words. Oh, his voice through our mental link sounded so lost and confused-it was almost like a child. Atem, you are usually so mature, and now that one of the most influential people in your life has left, your father, you are so child-like and insecure. Uncertain what to do, what will happen, what to feel…
"So you're worried about the future as well as grieving for your father. Just take things one at a time, okay? Grieve for your father now, and you can work out what to do tomorrow-we can work out what to do tomorrow.
"I will not judge you Atem. I'm your wife. Just grieve."
Atem was never one to lose control. He had been raised too long to let himself go and weep without reserve-what he thought as weakness. But that night, we stayed there and not once did he let me go, using me as his life line to reality. No sobs came from him, though tears dripped freely down my face and restrained, held-back sobs shook my form. I mourned freely in a way he could never do, so I did for him.
However, I felt traces of tears dampen the crook of my neck, where he had rested his head on. I was glad he could at least share some of the burden on his heart with me.
The funeral procession for the Pharaoh was grand. Of course it would be; he was the former ruler of Egypt. Even though I was princess of Egypt, I took charge of the mourning, and as in Yafeu's funeral procession, I sang funeral rites in honour of Pharaoh Akunumkanon.
My vow not to sing made another exception here-I was doing this both for the Pharaoh, and for Atem, future Pharaoh. His grief I tried to express instead where he could not. Again, people would remember this funeral like they would Yafeu's, because of the strange voice that wove a heartbreaking enchantment of mourning over the funeral. Far into the future, this and Yafeu's funeral would only be remembered as famed funerals for uncertain reasons.
Atem slowly began to find stable ground again. Like Pharaoh Akunumkanon had predicted, the first few days his death I had been afraid to leave Atem alone, and he had seemed to try and stick close to me discretely. As if I had become his only stability. Mahado and Mana explained to me later that Atem was afraid of losing me as well. I had gone furthest into his heart despite not knowing him as long as Mana or Mahado have. Atem did not want to lose another person very dear to him, and felt the need to see me constantly for reassurance that I had not vanished like his father.
I understood in more detail this particular aspect of being queen, in supporting the Pharaoh. Until Atem could find his own ground, and feel confident in himself again, he needed to draw on the comfort and strength I could give him, to face the days after his father's death. (I think it's rather obvious now, that Atem and his father had been close despite having separate duties.)
It did not take Atem long to gain his mental strength back. Half way through the seventy day mourning period for the country, the self-assured confidence that gave his cerise eyes their intensity and slightly commanding look, came back. He took charge of matters that needed attending to, and I took charge of the jobs I had. During the night, when we met again in our chambers, we held each other close. It was probably the only time when Atem needed that much physical contact for comfort.
By the time coronation day came, Atem was ready to become king. His strength was back, and his insecurity of being a good king had dwindled to a sliver instead of a pressing weight. He would do his best to rule the country, and he'd be damned if he didn't succeed. I guessed that his determination to lead well would be enough to make Egypt prosper. He really did have the heart of a true king. His court had full confidence in him, having seen his capabilities. Surprisingly, they were confident in me as well.
Coronation went without any problems. The rites were done, the court had accepted him reverently, and Atem became Pharaoh, pulling me up into the position of accepted Queen beside him. Wearing our crowns proudly, we went out onto the balcony facing the courtyard, which was crammed with people, to greet them as the new Pharaoh and Queen of Egypt.
After the coronation though, at the celebration after and the moon cycles following, difficulties arose, which none, not even Priestess Isis, had anticipated. The prophecy Mother Dora gave of Atem being surrounded by darkness eventually began to come true.
It's nearly twelve right now and I feel exceptionally sleepy after getting less than four hourse sleep last night so apologies if this chapter came out rambling. Yes, this chapter is rather short compared to my last few chapters. My editing is pretty poor in this as well. I need some shut eye...'groan'.
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