Twenty-seventh of Elembious, light time

What rumpus here in the last few days! I hardly know where to begin describing it.

I suppose it goes back to Mabonwy's finding my secret stash of boy's clothing and being threatened with discharge if she told anyone. Truth be told, I thought of leaking the rumor myself, so that she'd be blamed with blabbing and I'd be rid of her. But that sort of deceptive manipulation seemed so…Achrenish.

Anyhow, I knew she'd never be able to resist spilling it to Aeronwen, discharge or no, and I knew when she must have because Aeronwen did finally begin digging at me about it – in very vague, coded ways that only I would understand completely but that to an outside listener insinuated awful things – all the worse for being unclear, and of course she made sure always to say something when there were plenty of others around to hear. A brilliant bit of intrigue on her part, really, as if I had accused Mabonwy openly of talking it would have all been brought out public. She had me pretty fairly at bay, and oh, it rankled, although I pretended never to know what she was talking about. Only Mae knew the details, as she's been in my confidence about the whole thing. But of course, she had to pretend ignorance.

To make matters worse, it became quite obvious that Aeronwen had put Mabonwy up to openly spying on me. I don't know what she expected to find. It's not as though I'm skulking around the treasury or sticking silver spoons down my bodice. Nevertheless she barged into my room at almost any hour of the day or night, with lame excuses about needing to bring fresh linens or finding out if I needed anything. I haven't dared to write this whole time because of it.

But I'm writing now. Ah! Yes. Things have changed a bit over the last few hours.

I was so annoyed at having my privacy invaded so often (and in passing, must relate that I recently found out that most of the ladies' servants actually sleep in the same room with them! The horror! I should be driven utterly insane) that I'd begun spending my pre-bedtime hours rambling about in other parts of the castle, and two nights ago I found the library – or what passes for one on Mona. It's hardly a trove of knowledge, but then, having seen the Halls of Lore once at Caer Dathyl I suppose I can't be impressed by anything less, and it's unfair to compare them.

It's clear the royal house doesn't often spawn any great readers, for the whole chamber was coated in dust and cobwebs. It's a small space with its books piled in no particular order except possibly chronological – as in, the oldest are on the bottom because they've never been moved! The braziers were long dead but I had my bauble for light, and there were a couple of candelabras standing about which must get used sometimes. There's a rather nice large window at one end, with a couch underneath, which must be a cozy place to read in the daytime. Evidently it finds other uses in the evenings…but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I like books. Achren hadn't very many and what she had were mostly forbidden or should have been. There were a few lovely volumes at Caer Dallben (other than the Book of Three, of course, which I never touched, having been warned by Taran). So when I found the place I was intrigued, and spent some time poking around. Most of it is dull stuff – histories of places I've never heard of, or genealogies that go back more generations than anyone could possibly care about. But I did find one that mentioned Llyr, and that gave me the idea that I might find some interesting things about my ancestry with a little careful searching. There was so much intermarrying, trading, and communal holidaying between Llyr and Mona that there's bound to be some history preserved here. At least I hope so.

I found nothing terribly interesting the first evening except an old set of folklore, which has been entertaining reading, if not what I was looking for. I recognized a few of the tales, or at least the outlines of them. Last night Mae and I played board games in her chambers, but tonight I was free to wander down to the library once more.

The library is in the west wing which isn't used much, as it's fallen into some disrepair, and the corridors have been deserted whenever I've gone that way before. Therefore I was much astonished, upon approaching the door, to see a glimmer of light under its threshold, and to hear muffled voices.

I couldn't make out words, but it was plainly two people, male and female, and there was a lot of giggling involved. A couple of servants, I thought, canoodling somewhere they thought wouldn't be disturbed. It was an embarrassing thing to contemplate, much less interrupt, and my first impulse was to leave and return later.

I didn't get the chance. There were scuffles, footsteps, and the door suddenly swung open. One figure stumbled into the hall, squealing a laugh that died on her lips as she straightened up and looked me full in the face.

It was Aeronwen.

I don't know which of us was more shocked, or wished more fervently to be anywhere else. She was flushed, hair disheveled and clothing rather askew. In the light from the library door a second figure appeared in silhouette – the slim-shouldered, lanky build I recognized as Lord Trefor (oh, yes, he's still here, and now I know why), fully clothed, thank Belin, although with the rumpled look of this having been a recent accomplishment.

Both Aeronwen and I were stricken dumb for long moments. For once she had no remark prepared, and I was too embarrassed to say anything. How odd in that situation that I should be the embarrassed one!

Her expression wavered between utter fury and fear – and the fear finally made me realize the position we were in. Suddenly my embarrassment melted away, and I felt a curious, calm sensation, and then a wave of delicious confidence bore me up, fizzing like bubbles in a cup of wine. I lowered my lit bauble closer to her face until she had to squint.

"Well, well," I said, feeling my mouth turn up in a smirk, "in the library, of all places. I had no idea you'd an interest in..." I cast a glance at Trefor, "…research."

Aeronwen stiffened and for a moment I thought she would strike me. "You…" She was actually trembling. "If you say a word...I'll…"

There was a pause, during which the only sound was her heavy breathing. "Yes?" I said lightly, "you'll what? Spread around a silly story about men's clothes?" I laughed and she flinched. "Oh, I think I can top that, don't you? As a matter of fact, maybe I'll go ahead and tell that one just for laughs. Think how it will shock all those poor old ladies – the princess hiding men's clothes in her room! And after all the queen's lectures on the virtue of a woman, too. Such a scandal."

"Now see here," Trefor broke in, striding forward as Aeronwen paled, "this is none of your…"

Strangely, she cut him off with a jerk of her head. "Don't."

I don't know why she wouldn't let him speak, unless she thought he'd make things worse. I suppose I could have pulled rank and told him off myself, but he isn't really worth the trouble.

A tense silence followed, during which she glared at me and I thought quickly. This was too good an opportunity to let slip and I was going to use it. I returned her glare, and made my voice as low and level as I could.

"You'll call that bloodhound maidservant of yours off my trail," I said. "In fact, you will go to the queen and request Mabonwy's assistance to such an extent that she will be your servant exclusively. You will cease to spread lies about me, and will quell any rumors that are passed on to you."

Her face was sullen and dark but she nodded. I felt a strange, sudden rush of sadness. "I did nothing to earn your loathing before I came," I told her, "but you cast it on me anyway. At least now, since you are determined to hate me, you have a reason." I don't know why it hurt to say it. I've never sought Aeronwen's approval or affection, but it is painful to be despised for no reason, as though on principle.

I took one last look at Trefor, glowering over her shoulder, and Aeronwen spoke. "How do I know you will keep silent?"

I gave her a withering look. "You have my word, and you'll have to be satisfied with that."

And I turned and left without a backward glance.

It was strange. I thought I should feel wildly victorious. Instead I merely felt rather grim and reluctantly satisfied. I suppose it's because I hate to reach a truce with Aeronwen on such shaky grounds – I'd rather it was voluntary on her part. But I'll take it any way it comes.

She was as good as her (coerced) word. At bedtime it was Eirliss, not Mabonwy, who came to help me undress. She and I had a warm reunion and talked for an hour before she excused herself. And then I was finally able to pull out my book with no fear! It is taking some getting used to. I keep jumping at night noises and looking over my shoulder at the door as though Mabonwy might barge in at any moment.

At any rate, I seem to be safe…indefinitely, I hope. Secrets like the one those two are keeping have a tendency to announce themselves in time, but I'm content to keep my silence so long as she keeps her end of the bargain.

Full moon tomorrow night. Perhaps it's time for another swim!

Ahh, sweet intrigue. Well, I had written myself into a bit of a corner what with the necessary restrictions, and I needed Eilonwy to get the upper hand back, at least for a while. I also felt this would be a way to explore a little darker side of her character - the manipulative bent that Achren would have fostered. It's kind of a dirty deal she's played here, and I think there will be ramifications later.

Thanks for all the reviews. I had several inspirations over the holidays so hopefully you'll all have more to enjoy.

And no, prydain fan, I have not forgotten about Glew. I just don't want to deal with him yet. Logically there's not been time for Kaw to return from Caer Dallben with his "cure" anyway.